I Bought a Slime from the Monster Merchant
Led by Mary Jane’s hand, I crossed through space and time and arrived here.
This… was supposed to be a ranch?
It was such a miserable wreck that calling it a ruin wouldn’t be an exaggeration. Every fence was smashed to pieces, the barn was half-collapsed, and I seriously doubted whether its door could even open. As for the house I was supposed to live in… a massive hole gaped through the roof like a goddamn crater.
“Aha ha, it’s a little shabby nyang? Everyone who moves from the city to the countryside feels the same way nyang. Once you get used to it, it’s perfectly livable nyang~.”
“Used to it? This is the shithole my old man left me as an inheritance?”
“Hey! Watch your mouth nyang! Master Vojtech poured his heart and soul into this ranch! Sure it looks rough, but with a little fixing up it’ll be perfectly usable nyang!”
With that, Mary Jane grabbed one of the fallen fence posts and heaved it upright. She pressed her weight down on it, stomping it into the ground a few times to secure it.
“See nyang? The fence is perfectly—”
Before she could even finish, the post toppled right back over in the exact same direction it had been lying before. And it didn’t just fall—it shattered into complete splinters on impact. The outside had looked fine, but the inside was apparently rotten to the core.
“Aha ha… yeah, that’s right nyang… the ranch is in pretty dire straits right now nyang….”
“Thanks for being honest. In that case, can you draw the circle again?”
“Circle? What circle…? Nyaaang—!!!! What are you doing?! You’re trying to go back nyang!!”
I gave her a big, deliberate nod. I wanted to make my intentions crystal clear.
“Taehun, don’t be like that. Just think about it nyang. Do you have any idea how much this plot of land is worth? A whopping 120 million gold nyang!!”
I looked around after hearing Mary Jane’s words. The ranch grounds really were huge. Including the pasture, it had to be thousands of pyeong at least. But land out in the countryside wasn’t exactly prime real estate, was it? Plus, measurement standards back in the day were sloppy, so the actual boundaries might be different. I’d normally check the cadastral map on Government 24, but… yeah, that wasn’t exactly an option here.
“Wait a second!! What’s Government 24 and what’s a cadastral map nyang!! Stop thinking about complicated words nyang!!”
“Never mind, forget all that. Just draw the circle already.”
“You still haven’t given up on going back nyang… Hehe, but I have a secret weapon nyang.”
Mary Jane hopped straight up to the second-floor window of the ranch house with a single leap. Wow… she really is a cat after all.
After slipping inside, she poked her head back out the window about ten seconds later. She sat on the windowsill and unfolded a piece of paper, holding it up for me to see.
“What’s that?”
“Hehe, Taehun. You know what an IOU is nyang?”
“An IOU? Did you lend someone money?”
Mary Jane nodded instead of answering. The confident grin on her face said she thought she had me.
“Master Vojtech performed a lot of good deeds in his lifetime nyang. But he was also very strict about financial matters nyang! Do you know how much is written on this IOU?!”
“I can’t see the amount from here. Just tell me.”
Mary Jane jumped down—poof!—and landed beside me. She held the paper with both hands and thrust it toward me.
“One million gold?”
“What do you think nyang? This is the ‘principal’ he lent to a merchant in the market nyang. Once you add the interest, it becomes an enormous sum nyang!!”
“But… there’s nothing written about interest here?”
“Eh? Really nyang?!”
Mary Jane hurriedly scanned the IOU again. Her left hand rose to scratch the back of her head.
Ah. So she’d been mistaken.
Yeah, what isekai fantasy? What new life? Let’s just go home and live as a shut-in again.
“Taehun. Like you said, there’s no interest rate written here nyang… I guess we can only get the principal back nyang… Still, one million gold isn’t a small amount nyang….”
“Really? What can we do with that much?”
“Hmm. It’s enough to buy one Monmusu nyang! Plus a month’s worth of food for us and feed for the Monmusu nyang!!”
“It’s supposed to be a ranch… and we can only afford one Monmusu? Isn’t that basically a pet?”
“All great hero stories start small nyang. When Master Vojtech first began, he built this huge ranch starting with just one slime nyang!!”
Haa. The more I thought about it, the heavier my sigh became.
I sat down on a wooden barrel beside the barn and fell into deep thought about what the hell I was supposed to do. Mary Jane watched me with an anxious expression. She was so nervous she kept scratching at the wall with her nails while staring at me the whole time.
Guess it’s fine to scratch the walls here.
After all, this place is mine now.
In my old life I never even cooked kimchi stew because I was afraid of splattering broth on the walls. But here… sure, it was rundown, but I could fix it up however I wanted, right?
Watching Mary Jane scratch the wall, I suddenly felt like I’d found my answer.
“Where do we need to go?”
“Huh…? I’m not drawing the circle nyang.”
“Why aren’t you reading my mind at a time like this? I’m asking where we need to go to collect the money on that IOU.”
Suddenly, Mary Jane’s eyes sparkled. Or maybe I just imagined it.
She dashed over like a bullet, beaming with a huge smile.
“We can collect it at the bank nyang. Let’s see… the sun’s already tilting west, so….”
Mary Jane pulled out her pocket watch from behind her ear again and checked the time.
“Kyaaah—!! The bank closes in thirty minutes nyang!!! This is an emergency nyang!! Just follow me nyang!!”
With that, she bolted out of the ranch and started sprinting toward the distant village. I chased after her immediately, but there was no way I could keep up with a cat’s speed.
Or so I thought.
Mary Jane’s explosive acceleration was incredible, but her stamina was absolute garbage. She only made it about twenty percent of the way to the village before she was panting and wheezing. I caught up and gave her shoulder a light tap.
“Let’s just walk together at a brisk pace. At this speed we’ll still make it to the village just in time.”
“Huff huff— O-okay nyang. I got too excited and used up all my energy nyang….”
After calming her down, we walked at a quick pace and soon reached the village square. Right in the middle stood a building that was obviously a bank. When I glanced at her questioningly, Mary Jane nodded.
I opened the door without hesitation and stepped inside.
Converting the IOU into cash went surprisingly smoothly. I’d started panicking when I realized I had no way to prove my identity, but Mary Jane stepped forward claiming she was a certified witness and began talking with the teller. After confirming her identity, the teller stamped the IOU with a loud thunk, filed it away, and counted out the money for me.
It was that simple. For the first time since coming to this other world, I actually felt like I could make a life here.
“Alright, now let’s head to the market nyang. Especially the monster merchant—if we miss him today we’ll have to wait until next month nyang! Hurry up nyang!”
We left the bank and headed straight for the market. It was conveniently close to the square where the bank was located. I guess being in the countryside had its perks—the downtown area wasn’t very big.
We went looking for the monster merchant first. According to Mary Jane, he only came to the market once a month, and if he didn’t have customers he’d leave early before the market even closed.
When we reached his carriage, panting and out of breath, it was already filled with empty cages.
“Yo~ Boris, long time no see nyang!”
“This Nekomata again? If you’re not here to buy a monster then get lost.”
A bearded man with a lean but muscular build waved his hand, shooing Mary Jane away. The whip in his other hand confirmed he was indeed the monster merchant.
“Um, I’m the one who wants to buy a monster.”
“Huh? Who are you? I’ve never seen your face before.”
“Ahem. This person is Master Vojtech’s one and only son nyang.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, cat. Master Vojtech lived his whole life alone.”
“That’s not true nyang! Taehun here is the child born from Master Vojtech’s love with a woman from the real world nyang!”
“The real world…? Then you… no, Sir Taehun. Are you a Seed Human?”
Seed Human? What the hell was that?
I’d never heard the term before. What did it mean?
“A Seed Human is someone who can impregnate Monmusu nyang. Monmusu are born only as females, so there’s always a shortage nyang. No matter how much the men of this world mate with them, they can’t get Monmusu pregnant nyang. Humans who can impregnate Monmusu are called ‘Seed Humans’ nyang!”
What kind of insane nonsense was this?
Was he telling me to become a breeding bull? A stud horse?
No matter how you looked at it, this other world was asking way too much. Monmusu were monsters, right? How was I supposed to have sex with monsters and get them pregnant?!
“Oi oi, Taehun. Did you just think ‘monster’ nyang? Do I look like a monster to you even though I’m a Monmusu nyang?”
Mary Jane, who had read my thoughts, glared at me with an extremely sulky expression.
Right. I forgot she could read my mind.
“S-sorry. It’s just too sudden. How do you know I’m a Seed Human?”
“Semen from men of the real world is highly compatible with Monmusu nyang. That’s why we regularly outsource to succubi to collect semen from real-world men and use it to impregnate Monmusu nyang. But those succubi bitches… they charge absolutely insane prices nyang!!”
“The cat’s right, Sir Taehun!! Those succubi collude with each other and charge five million gold per tiny bottle of sperm. And if they don’t even get twins from it, we’re operating at a loss every single time!!”
Having said that, the monster merchant dashed behind his tent. A short while later he returned holding a blue collar. At the end of the leash was a slime Monmusu.
It was a perfectly cliché slime—entirely blue, made of slime from head to toe.
“Please take this girl!! I’ll give her to you for free!! But if she lays eggs, could you give me just two?! I’m not asking for them for free. I’ll pay fair market price for the eggs!!”
“Taehun, this is an amazing deal nyang. That slime has to be worth at least 700,000 gold nyang. Just take her and get her pregnant and we’re good nyang.”
Mary Jane leaned close and whispered through ventriloquism.
“Hey, you say ‘pregnant’ like it’s nothing. To get her pregnant I’d have to have sex with her, you know.”
I grabbed one of Mary Jane’s big ears and spoke directly into it. She flapped her ear wildly as if it tickled, then gave me a mischievous look.
“Everyone has a first time nyang. This big sister will teach you well, so let’s just take her nyang!”
On the way back to the house—no, back to the ruined ranch—both my hands were full of a month’s worth of groceries and slime feed. Mary Jane held the blue leash.
“You should give her a name first nyang.”
“A name? Can’t we just call her Slime?”
“Hya, how heartless nyang. Monmusu aren’t just livestock nyang. They have egos and can communicate nyang. So don’t treat her like a farm animal nyang.”
Right. She was a Monmusu too.
She had a point. So what should I name her?
“Breed…”
“Huh? Mary Jane, did you say something?”
“I didn’t say anything nyang.”
“Breed… me…”
Both Mary Jane and I turned around at the same time.
The one asking to be bred was none other than the slime.
