The Charcoal Solution
"R-really? Something that terrible actually happened...?"
"Yeah. And our parents... they died in that hell back then. You were still too young, so I never told you. I'm sorry, France."
"For real? Mom and Dad died back then...? Then what kind of people were they?"
"Um... well... They were both really... good people. Haha..."
Hmm. I get it. It's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it any longer than he has to.
Well, like most adults in this slum, they probably weren't all that warm or wonderful as parents. Not that I had any intention of digging into someone else's tragic family history anyway.
"So you understand what I'm saying, right, Vita? This baby... is not something we can possibly handle. The second anyone catches sight of that green hair, all three of us will be slaughtered so thoroughly there won't even be bones left. Please. Please understand what I'm telling you."
"Why? Just because the hair color is different? If that's the issue, I'll take care of it myself."
"...What? Take care of it? How the hell do you plan to do that?! What are you, some kind of wizard or god who can change that eye-catching hair to match ours?!"
"Yep. I'll figure something out."
It wasn't mere meddling or empty bravado. After all, my own hair desperately needed to be dyed pitch black right away too.
No matter what it took, I had to discover a way to perfectly disguise hair color. Solving this baby's problem was therefore the surest survival route to saving my own neck.
"You don't trust me? What about that surgery a few days ago? Weren't you convinced it would fail and I'd die? But in the end, I saved you with my own two hands. A flawless success! So... can't you trust me just one more time?"
"............After you saved my life and you're coming at me like this, what face do I have to say no? Haah..."
"Brother! Then we're raising this baby now? Can I help take care of it?"
"Ha, haha. Hahahaha.... Haah.... Fine. To the best of our ability, I'll hide the child in this house for now. That doesn't mean we'll raise it like family, though. I can only take responsibility under the clear condition that it brings no harm to us siblings. Do you understand me completely, Vita? I... don't want to help others if it means putting my one and only sister France's life at risk."
"Got it. I won't let anything harm you two, so don't worry."
Well, if I can't find a way, I'll get caught and die right along with them. No matter what, even if the sky comes crashing down, I have to make this work.
"Just trust me!"
I thumped my chest boldly and shouted with confidence.
With that momentum I strode out of the siblings' house and raced straight back to mine. I locked the door tight, sat on the floor with my chin in my hands, and began frantically racking my brain for a way to produce usable hair dye in this harsh otherworldly environment.
Right, let's get started... how the hell does hair dyeing even work?
Even though I'd made those big confident promises in front of Prin and France before dashing home, my train of thought completely derailed after just ten minutes of sitting on the floor with my chin propped up.
When I thought about it, it was perfectly natural. I was the kind of person who had never once enjoyed the luxury of dyeing my hair, never slathered on chemicals just to look stylish.
Of course someone who'd never properly sat in a salon chair wouldn't know the principles behind dyeing, what ingredients hair dye was made from, or anything about the recipe.
I tried recalling those shorts I'd watched. Something about mixing complicated chemicals like ammonia and hydrogen peroxide then adding pigment, right? At least I thought that's how it went....
How was I supposed to get those chemical substances in this medieval slum? And even if I miraculously obtained the ingredients, I had no idea about the mixing ratios!
I started rolling around on the floor, anxiously biting my nails.
Let's try natural materials. Charcoal powder? Maybe if I mixed the black soot scraped from the chimney or ground-up charcoal into a thick paste and applied it?
No, that was one-dimensional stupidity. The moment it rained or I sweated, it would obviously streak down like black sweat.
What about clotted animal blood, or berries that produced black juice? Squid ink?
Are you insane? Where would I find squid in this barren inland wasteland? Besides, dyeing fabric and coloring human hair were two completely different things.
The most fatal problem was that the subject was a fragile newborn who had just had its umbilical cord cut.
If I recklessly smeared harsh lye or unidentified filth on its scalp, the baby would likely die from a terrible skin disease or infection before the hair color was even hidden.
"Aaaaaaaaagh!! I don't know!!! How do you naturally dye hair without any side effects?! Uwaaaaaagh!!"
I kicked at the air like a madwoman and tore at my own hair.
It had to be waterproof, non-toxic enough to touch a newborn's skin, and made from materials I could easily obtain with my own power in this damn slum. The perfect natural black hair dye.
I agonized all night until clumps of hair fell out, but with zero modern chemical knowledge and zero information about this world's plants, no miracle was going to spring from my empty head.
The conclusion was simple and brutally clear.
......I was completely fucked.
In the end I greeted the morning without a single plausible answer.
I forced my eyes open, dragged my heavy feet as usual, and headed for the siblings' house with today's wages from the puppet show and a few pieces of cheap fresh-baked bread clutched in my arms.
"Vita, you're here? Did you figure out a surefire method?"
"Mhm. Of course! Who do you think I am? The genius Vita, that's who! Just leave it to me!"
"Woaaa!! It's Vita after all!! Brother, did you hear?! Vita says she found a way!"
"Haaa... What a relief."
Prin's tense shoulders instantly relaxed. He swept a hand down his chest and gave me a look of genuine admiration.
"I had a feeling when you made that confident declaration yesterday, but... as expected, you already had a plan. We worried over nothing."
"R-right? When have I ever said anything empty? Haha, hahaha......"
"So what should we help with right away? Do we need to go gather materials?"
The siblings' blind trust and sparkling eyes poured over me. Facing those innocent faces made my stomach twist.
Of course I had a method. Perfectly thought out.
Vita, you really opened your big mouth without a single concrete idea or sharp plan?!
The answer was NO! Absolutely not. No way in hell.
The plan I'd wrung out last night while rolling on the floor until my hair fell out.
Even if perfect dyeing was impossible, I'd at least come up with a temporary stopgap to extinguish the immediate crisis.
Of course it was anyone's guess how many days this quack remedy would last or what side effects it might have on a newborn's skin. Still, it would be fine. It was my idea, after all.
I quickly finished my mental calculations.
First I'd test it on the baby. If the effect seemed decent and the staying power usable, I could use the same method to perfectly cover my own hair.
Hold on! Don't misunderstand! It's absolutely not that I'm using this poor green-haired baby as a guinea pig for my survival! Never. No way!
This is all to save the baby! In this insane neighborhood, if you live and I live and we all nicely avoid becoming roasted on a pyre, what a beautiful win-win that would be!
"The miraculous solution was right beside us all along."
With a meaningful remark I raised my finger. The tip pointed straight at the old brazier sitting in the corner of the house.
"It's that right there."
I pointed at the pitch-black charcoal powder piled thick at the bottom of the brazier and grinned confidently.
"Y-you're going to use that? Are you actually serious?"
"Brother's right... Vita, no matter how you look at it, that seems a bit..."
Even France, who had been blindly following me until moments ago, hugged the baby tight and slowly backed away in horror. At their distrustful reaction I put my hands on my hips and snorted in disbelief.
"What's wrong with it? Do you two have any other brilliant ideas to perfectly hide that green hair?"
"“......”"
As expected. My counterquestion turned the siblings into mute statues. I smiled leisurely and snapped my fingers.
Snap. Snap!
"If you can't offer a realistic alternative, shut your mouths and watch quietly. I won't accept objections. Understood?"
After firmly silencing the siblings, I dove straight into the dyeing process.