Chapter 1
Chapter 1
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: I'll Make You the World's Greatest Expert (Lustful Demon) (1)
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In a room that screamed humble hut from every angle, yet was surprisingly spotless, I knelt on my knees.
Gulp.
"Uh, so... what you're saying is..."
"Call me Master."
And sitting right across from me was a strikingly handsome middle-aged man staring me down. With an intensity that carried a seriously burdensome heat.
"Yes, Master. So, what you're saying is that I have... the ideal body for cultivating martial arts..."
"Ideal?"
Wasn't that right?
"No, 'ideal' doesn't even begin to cover it! Didn't I tell you your body is impossibly pure!"
"Ah, that... purer than a newborn babe..."
"That's right—purer than a newborn babe! For someone who's never touched martial arts to keep such a pristine body all the way to your early twenties? Even living off nothing but water and air, that's impossible!"
Ah, got it.
I nodded emphatically, letting my whole face show just how thoroughly convinced I was.
After all, how could I forget what this old geezer had done? My brain was still sharp as ever.
"You might make some progress with miscellaneous arts, but why plant weeds where a mighty tree could grow? Our Color Heaven Sect's martial arts are the only ones fit to fully shape a vessel like you!"
With a mere flick of his finger, a man's head had exploded like a ripe watermelon.
"Now that you understand, hurry up and perform the discipleship rites. Carry on the legacy of I Ja-seong, the Color Blood Demon!"
Uh, but did I even have a choice here?
Of course, what came out of my mouth was something entirely different.
"Your disciple Kang Yun pays his respects to Master!"
No way was I risking my head exploding over some pointless fuss.
Let's rewind a bit.
Not much—just one day.
'Congratulations! You have arrived in <Isekai>!'
Or whatever. At first, I had no clue where I was.
I didn't know who sent me here, but they could've at least written proper instructions. Then again, my last memory was getting hit by a truck—the isekai delivery specialist—so surviving was thanks enough.
No blood, no modern clothes, just neatly dressed in traditional Chinese-style robes. That gave me a rough idea.
I was definitely in the murim world.
Truth be told, every time I'd see the early parts of isekai stories, I'd think, 'Screw going to another world—better to reincarnate on Earth. All you'd get is brawling with world-topping powerhouses (hero route) or slaving away in a place that doesn't even know human rights (adventurer route).'
But no. This was way better. Earth was preferable, sure, but if I couldn't live there, being alive anywhere beat the alternative.
Even rolling in dog shit, this life was sweeter than the next. A truth I'd now learned the hard way.
Now, one thing left to check. I cleared my throat, preparing my clearest voice.
But the sound that came out was tiny.
"...Status."
Huh?
"Status window..."
What the—?
"Status window! Status window! Guide window! Stat screen! Status screen!"
Nothing. Why?
"Staaaaaaaatus wiiiiiiiindow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Flutter flutter.
I turned to see a sleek bird soaring through the sky. A raptor, maybe?
"Never mind that—status window..."
Yeah, no dice.
I relaxed my eyes, trying to hallucinate something, anything, but not even a speck appeared.
"Who the hell said to yell 'status window' first thing in an isekai..."
Oh, right—they'd never been either.
One last try, for the road.
"Sta...!"
"What the hell are you doing?!"
Thwack.
I heard what sounded like a bucket shattering somewhere, and suddenly I was rolling on the ground.
"What'd you just yell? Demonic Cult scum?!"
A gruff voice, oddly feminine, rang in my ears.
"Answer me! Why are you in a place like this?!"
Good question. Minus the part where I was literally just realizing I'd isekai'd.
As my blurry vision focused, the dirt grinding into my face came into sharp view.
"No, I... I'm in a situation I can't even explain myself..."
I tried to make excuses, but my face just got shoved back into the dirt.
"Don't lie! You think I'd buy that from some creep sneaking into these deep mountain wilds?!"
Anger boiled up, but pinned down without knowing how or by whom, I had to hold it in. Yeah, hold it. Or enjoy it.
Face in the cool dirt actually felt nice—until a refreshing voice cut in. Guess I wasn't dying yet.
"That's enough, A-hyeon."
"But, Miss!"
Miss?
"No internal energy at all from his body. If he meant harm, he'd at least have the skill to run. Let him go, A-hyeon."
"...Yes."
For all her grumbling, she released me quick enough, and my limbs finally responded.
"Ugh..."
"Are you all right, young... sir? Can you stand?"
It hadn't been that long, but my whole body was numb. Still, that voice—purer than deep-sea water—swallowed my groan.
Determined to see what this "miss" looked like, I gritted my teeth and rose.
Whoa. Insane.
Her round eyes widened even further as she stared at me—beautiful enough that a guy like me harboring dirty thoughts would've been the real crime.
She looked pretty shocked, but hey, fair enough. Screaming "status window" like a madman on the roadside? Anyone would freak. Right?
"You... stood up?"
"...Yeah?"
No way I'd guessed she'd be shocked I could even stand.
"A-hyeon's pressure points are rough—even normal folk struggle to get up right after. I was going to help calm you, but looks like no need."
"I see. Glad I didn't trouble you."
I flashed the most inoffensive smile I could muster. Smile, smile.
Someone worth calling "miss" had to be useful for adapting to this brand-new world. Looked like that hunch would pan out.
"What brings you to these depths of Mount Emei, young sir?"
"Well, that..."
I already had my story ready.
"I can't remember... Not who I am... not where this is..."
Amnesia was always the answer here.
"You bastard, lying again!"
"A-hyeon!"
The woman in brown martial robes aimed her sword hilt at me. So the voice wasn't just girly—it was a girl.
"Miss, this guy's suspicious no matter how you look! A man in a place like this, dressed so cleanly, climbing up without a trace of internal energy? And amnesia? No way!"
Oof, the last part was actually a lie.
"Not no energy—maybe assassin arts? That'd explain the lack of cultivation traces! We should drag him back to the sect and dig out his backers!"
"A-hyeon... don't you trust me? No energy, no signs of training at all."
"Then some assassin art even you don't know..."
Assassin arts must be invisible ink or something. Time for me to play mediator.
"Sorry to interrupt, but may I say something?"
"Of course—"
"Shut it!"
A-hyeon flinched, looking sheepish for cutting off her lady. Served her right.
"The issue here is my unclear identity, right?"
"Yes."
"Staying here isn't ideal for me either, so if you could escort me to a village... or any house... I'd appreciate it. Even if it means some light detainment."
"..."
"No memories, so drop me anywhere decent, and I'll handle the rest."
Hey, at least I spoke the language. Dodging beggar life in some no-man's-land was win enough.
The miss nodded briskly.
"That much is easy."
"Miss!"
A-hyeon glared daggers, but what could she do when her miss decided?
"Enough, A-hyeon. We're in a hurry. As sect members, we can't refuse aid. We'll move now."
"...Understood."
A-hyeon nodded sullenly. Hadn't noticed before, but with droopy eyes, she was kinda cute.
"Young sir, you don't seem versed in lightness skill. Right?"
"Yes, embarrassing as it is..."
"Then bear with it a moment?"
"Pardon?"
"A-hyeon, let's go."
What was I supposed to bear—
"Hngh!"
A-hyeon hoisted me like luggage over her shoulder and bolted. The miss followed.
Righteous sects allowed treating people like baggage?
"Sorry, young sir. Sect matters demand haste. Just until we meet our group."
Like she read my mind, the miss soothed me.
"Got... it..."
Meanwhile, I was dying.
Each time A-hyeon's legs pounded the ground, my vision whipped around. So high up, every landing nearly bit my tongue—I could barely keep my mouth open.
A moon-like ass swaying in my face, and I couldn't even enjoy it—too busy fighting nausea. What a tragedy.
"Almost there. Quit whining and stay still!"
A-hyeon barked triumphantly, sensing my pain, but I lacked the energy to retort.
Kyaeeeeek!
Then a bloodcurdling scream pierced the air. Close, too—A-hyeon hadn't lied. But this wasn't some casual yell.
Expecting some unorthodox powerhouse on arrival?
I craned my neck to ask her to put me down and go ahead, but the miss locked eyes with A-hyeon, then surged forward, arriving beside the scream's source in a blink.
"Hyea! Run! Hurry!"
And that actually happened.