The Academy Entrance Ceremony (1)
"My lady. You need to go slower, and gentler."
'That's exactly what I'm doing.'
"Useless maid. I'm doing that right now, aren't I?"
"No, my lady, that's not it. It's more like... this."
'I don't get it.'
"How can you only explain things like an idiot? Try doing it properly."
"Just a moment. Hmm. So, you see..."
My personal maid was walking me through how to tidy my own hair as we both faced the mirror, but my hands remained hopelessly clumsy. Trying to do with my own two hands what I had always left to the maids turned out to be no small ordeal.
Seriously, who decided that everyone inside the academy had to be equal regardless of rank, so we weren't even allowed to hire attendants? What kind of rule is that? Anyone could see with half a brain that nobody was actually going to observe it. We'd all be crawling back under the class system the moment we graduated, so what lunatic would insist on equality here? If it weren't for that one stupid rule, I'd never have had to brush my own hair.
Damn it all.
I grumbled inwardly, but of course, no amount of complaining changed reality. Shuffling along and moving my hands exactly as the maid instructed, I eventually managed to produce something resembling a decent hairstyle.
By my own standards it was plenty good enough, but apparently a professional saw things differently — the maid's expression was none too pleased. Was there really anything left to do? It looked exactly like my usual self. When I stayed quiet and waited for her to speak, she gave a slow, deliberate nod.
"I think that's good enough, my lady."
'See?'
"See? It's way better than anything a useless maid could do, right?"
"Of course, my lady."
The maid had changed a great deal over the past few months. When we first met, she used to tremble at the mere flick of my hand — these days she didn't even pretend to be afraid of the ordinary stuff. Just what kind of hell had Lucy put this woman through to break her that badly?
"Are you finished, my lady?"
Once we'd finished getting ready and stepped outside the residence, Carl was waiting for us at the entrance. I'd told him it was creepy standing guard right in front of my door, so apparently his solution was to guard the entrance to the whole dormitory instead. Is this guy's idea of an ideal knight just someone who stalks their own liege? I was about to give him a piece of my mind, then realized he'd smile and shrug off anything I said, so I sighed my irritation away instead.
"Shall we go? Everyone's already moving."
'Right. Let's.'
"I know, useless knight. Stop rushing me."
As Carl and I started walking, the maid stayed where she was. Wondering what she was doing, I turned around to find her clutching the hems of her skirt and bowing her head.
"Safe travels, Lady Lucy. I shall be waiting at the residence for your return."
Was this really the moment for a farewell scene? We'd see each other again in a few months anyway — why all the fanfare? I turned fully around and stood before her.
'I'm off, Erin.'
"I'm off, useless Erin. Wait for me."
"...Yes, my lady."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
The academy gates were teeming with people. Last time it had only been students and their attendants, which was manageable — this time the parents had shown up too, and the crowd looked thick enough that I seriously wondered if I could even punch through it.
That worry turned out to be completely unfounded. The moment I walked toward the entrance, people parted to make way for me of their own accord. Watching the crowd split open around me like I was some colossal cockroach, I couldn't help but laugh hollowly. Right — I'd been cooped up in the mansion for months and forgotten, but this was always how I got treated, wasn't it?
A sigh escaped me as gazes brimming with fear and discomfort washed over me. No matter how I looked at it, Lucy had pulled far too much crap over far too wide an area. If Lucy had only thrown tantrums inside the mansion walls, she wouldn't be avoided like this. Could a reputation this rotten actually be flipped? At this point it seemed like the path of least resistance was just to accept it.
<"Think of it positively. At least you can enter with ease now.">
'Grandfather, how could anyone be positive about this situation?'
<"Better than a crowd gathering. Do you have any idea how dreadful it becomes when people start flocking around you on your account?">
With that, Grandfather launched into stories from his days as an active hero. Whenever he and his companions traveled together, the onlookers who swarmed to catch a glimpse of him made it nearly impossible to move at all. Ever since an accident had broken out in one of those crowds, he'd kept his identity hidden as much as possible.
So even a good reputation came with its own headaches. Moderation really was the best policy in all things, wasn't it? Thinking that, I walked straight down the center of the wide-open path. Yeah — this beat getting trampled, that's for sure.
As Carl and I tried to enter the academy grounds, the gatekeeper blocked our way.
"My apologies, Lady Alrn, but attendants may not enter with you."
'But Carl...'
"This useless lump isn't entering as my attendant."
"Pardon? Then..."
'He's going to work at the academy.'
"He's here to work. Maybe that makes you a useless gatekeeper, not knowing something like that?"
Granted, it was only nominal — but Carl, a knight of House Alrn, landing a job at Soul Academy owed a great deal to the incident from before. When the accident happened during the academy's entrance exams, Benedict had sent the academy a grave formal protest. The academy apologized and offered compensation in one form or another, but Benedict rejected every single proposal they put forward. And then he said this:
'I have no need for such compensation. Instead, send one of our knights into your academy.'
It was blatant distrust: I don't trust you people, so I'm sending my own knight to protect my daughter. The academy raised no objections whatsoever. The accident during the entrance exams had been entirely their fault, and considering the standing Benedict commanded, this much was them getting off cheap.
Still, the academy's rule barring attendants was a rule, so they couldn't simply install Carl on the spot. The compromise the academy proposed was employment. Since that was the maximum concession the academy could offer, Benedict accepted the deal without complaint. And so Carl became a professor at the academy via the noble art of the parachute appointment.
From my perspective, this was a welcome development — it meant I now had one absolutely devoted ally inside the academy. Though I did worry he might insist on guarding the door of my dorm room here too... surely even he wouldn't go that far?
When Carl produced a letter from inside his coat and showed it to the gatekeeper, the man flustered and snapped to a salute.
"A professorship, of course! Please, enter!"
And so, having entered the hallowed grounds of Soul Academy, I parted ways with Carl and headed for the venue of the entrance ceremony. Having only just taken his post here in name, Carl — unlike a mere student like me — had plenty of actual work to do.
The walk to the ceremony venue was blissfully pleasant. Even among the crowds of parents, a path had opened for me of its own accord — so what did I expect when it was students only?
"Lady Alrn."
And this is why making friends is hopeless for me!
As I inwardly wept, certain that academy life would be one long stretch of solitude, someone called my name.
'Joy.'
"Airhead Lady. It's been a while."
It was Joy. Dressed in the Soul Academy uniform, she seemed far less imposing than she did in the black dresses she usually wore. Of course, that was strictly in comparison to before — the fact that she still looked like a villainess out of a drama remained unchanged. When I called her Airhead Lady, her brow furrowed something fierce. Her glare alone felt like it could kill me.
"Could you not just call me by my name, instead of Airhead Lady?"
Joy said that, clearly sick of the epithet, but it was an impossible request. After all, I was already calling her by name — inside my own head. Unless the Mesugaki Skill permitted it, I could never speak her name aloud.
'Sorry, no can do.'
"Why ever not, Airhead Lady?"
"...Ha. Do as you like. The days you'll be able to are numbered anyway."
Joy apparently doesn't know I was nearly made the freshman representative? I wonder what face she'll make when my name ends up carved into the top seat. The expression Joy made in the game whenever one of her airheaded blunders flustered her was a sight to behold — and I might actually get to witness it in the flesh?! Now that I'm a little excited for.
"More to the point, Lady Alrn."
'Yes?'
"What is it?"
"Thank you for last time. Thanks to you, I survived. I will repay this debt one day, without fail."
With those words, Joy gave a deep bow and turned back toward the group that was presumably her circle. Huh. I didn't expect to receive a public thank-you again, in front of everyone like this.
<"Your efforts bore fruit, it seems.">
'They did, huh.'
Getting thanked for cleaning up a mess that I myself had caused left me with a vaguely sour feeling. Still, that was purely a hypothetical... but seeing her that grateful, maybe if I kept behaving myself, I could actually become friends with Joy? Maybe my academy life wouldn't be nothing but gray after all!
Lost in that hopeful thought as I made my way to the ceremony venue, I was promptly smacked back down to reality. The students assigned to the seats around mine took one look at my face and recoiled as though they'd witnessed something no mortal eyes should ever see. Even staring at a portrait that kills you on the third glance wouldn't earn a shriek like that.
Watching them glance my way, trembling with terror, almost made me feel sorry for them. I'm sorry, unfortunate souls of the seating chart. Contrary to all your worries, I am a perfectly harmless individual, and nothing you're dreading is going to happen. Just think of it as one of life's infinite oddities and bear with it. After all, if I keep my mouth shut, I'm a rather cute young lady, no? Consider it a feast for the eyes.
As time passed, people streamed into the ceremony hall one after another — and among them were plenty of characters I knew well.
Frey Kent, the next Sword Saint. Toby, a commoner admitted purely on the strength of his raw martial talent. Phoebe, blessed with the highest divine aptitude of any saintess in history. She caught my eye from far across the hall and greeted me with a small, respectful nod. A true saintess, through and through — after all the times I called her useless, she still greets me first! If the whole "useless Chief God" mess hadn't scrambled my brain last time, we might have talked much longer. Such a shame.
And then there was the Third Prince, Arthur Soladin — the one players used to call the Pitiful Prince...
Wait, why is he here? Shouldn't he be the representative now that I turned the spot down?
"We will now begin the academy's entrance ceremony. Students, please..."
While I was still puzzling over it, Vice Principal Molly took the stage, and the ceremony began. The freshman representative this year was Jackal Burrow — the Inferior Young Master. Was he that thrilled to have been made the representative? He read out his prepared speech with a smug, triumphant look on his face.
A man with genuinely excellent talent across the board — yet outclassed in brains by the Pitiful Prince, and outclassed in raw ability by Frey or Toby, a man fated never to be the very best. Why was this guy, destined to spend his whole life as number two, standing up there? It made no sense. There was no way he could beat the Pitiful Prince. In the game, his pattern was always getting trampled and whining about it. That's why they called him the Inferior Young Master, after all. I honestly couldn't figure out the real reason. What on earth is going on in this world's Soul Academy?
Watching the guy who'd sworn I'll win next time for sure! with red, teary eyes now beaming with happiness left me with strangely mixed feelings. Yeah. You deserve to be happy too, at least once.
When the speech ended, Judy Alber took the stage. If she was coming up, that meant it was time.
I took hold of the mace I had stored away, shrunk down small.
<"Why are you suddenly drawing a weapon?">
'Because it's just about time.'
<"Time for what, exactly?">
"KYAAAAAAAH!"
The very instant Grandfather's question left him, a scream tore through the air from somewhere behind us. The ground was shaking. I turned toward the tremor and saw monsters bursting up out of holes torn in the earth.
They're here. The academy incident cliché. Of course — an academy entrance ceremony could never be allowed to end quietly.
Shoving past the panicking crowd, I enlarged my mace and raised a shield of holy magic. All right, then. Let's do this.
Time to redeem my reputation with some proper tanking.