Adaptation (11)
I had been staring blankly at the message when I remembered there were eyes on me, and hastily squeezed my eyes shut.
Anyone who caught me staring into empty space like that was bound to think something was off.
What I'd just seen was a message from the Crow Goddess, right?
...How exactly is the leader of the Art Cult's degenerates sending me messages?
I know you can communicate with people, don't get me wrong. Sloppy and dignity-free as you are, a god is still a god. Just like in the game, you should be able to relay words to the people on the ground.
But directly projecting a message is supposed to be limited to your own apostle, isn't it? Sending one to me — an apostle of a different god — shouldn't even be possible, no?
As I mulled this over, I began to wonder if my memory was simply wrong, and I dug back into my recollections from before the possession.
The foundation of the game Soul Academy was, in the end, the great contest between the benevolent gods and the evil ones.
The evil gods worked their followers to the bone in a desperate bid for their own resurrection, while the benevolent gods did everything in their power to stop them.
Once you hit your second year and started venturing beyond academy grounds, you could feel this conflict firsthand through a whole host of quests.
You'd aid apostles of the benevolent gods doing their utmost to hold back the evil gods' factions, or follow the traces left behind by the rare true priests of the Church of the Main God who'd given their lives in the struggle. Things like that.
Naturally, you'd start drawing the attention of both camps, and if you met a few conditions in that state, you could become an apostle of a benevolent god yourself.
And once you became one, you'd receive quests directly from your god — just like the flood of messages the Chief God was sending me right now.
Though admittedly, the quests the game handed out were nowhere near as impulsive and mischievous as the Chief God's.
Anyway, if my memory was right, then the Crow Goddess had absolutely no business being able to message me.
Forget the lore for a second, even. There's a degenerate apostle standing right next to me — she could've just passed word through him.
But instead she bypassed the loser Chief God who was staring straight at me and tried to make direct contact. How does that make any sense?
Hey, loser Chief God. Did you get so pathetically weak that you've literally become a loser? Are you so bottom-of-the-barrel that even a god below you can ignore you to your face?
Just as that thought was crossing my mind, notification chimes started ringing one after another in my ears.
I don't know whether it's the loser Chief God or the Crow Goddess, but whoever it is — knock it off already.
Can you not see the solemn atmosphere around us right now?! You could have sent your messages after the business was finished, you degenerate freaks!
Finally unable to bear it, I cracked my eyes open to slits — and blinked at the whole row of messages stacked up in front of me.
[Aaah, why not! It's not like I was about to do anything bad!]
[I told you I'd give you a blessing?!]
[I'll make it a good one!]
[Why are you being so stingy?!]
[I think hoarding a work of art like this counts as a bad thing, you know!]
[Chief God, cease your tyranny! Cease it!]
...What am I even looking at.
<What in the world is going on?>
I was so dumbfounded that I'd forgotten my surroundings entirely and was just standing there gaping, which prompted Grandfather to speak up in a worried voice.
Oh. Um. Well.
I racked my brain over how on earth I was supposed to explain this, quickly realized there was no answer, and lowered my head.
...It's nothing serious.
Fine, I could accept that the Crow Goddess had messaged me. But how was I supposed to make anyone believe that said goddess was currently staging a pathetic little protest at the Chief God?!
<Hmm. Well then, I'll take your word for it.>
Thankfully, Grandfather didn't press me any further.
[Th-that's a biiit unfair, don't you think? She may be Lucy Aln, but still.]
[Can't it be something else? I have plenty of nice blessings, you know.]
[Uuuugh. Fine. FINE. For Lucy Aln's sake, even our Frete will understand.]
While I was still relishing the fact that I didn't have to explain anything, the Crow Goddess seemed to have struck some kind of bargain with the Chief God.
Hey. Yo. Loser Chief God. Don't you think cutting a deal with the crow without so much as asking the person at the center of said deal is a little out of line? You could at least have consulted me first, you know.
If you'd let me handle the negotiation, I'm confident I could've squeezed that crow dry of everything she had!
[...I'm sorry, what? Lucy Aln could see ALL of that? No way. No way that's possible.]
[Um. Miss Lucy? If you can read this message, could you please close and open your left eye?]
I had no idea what was going on, but I did as I was told — and silence fell.
And here I was wondering where all her poise and dignity had gone. Turns out she just didn't know I was watching.
[O Apostle of the Chief God. My deepest apologies for the intrusion.]
Putting on the dignified act now, are we? When I arched a skeptical eyebrow, the crow — having clearly pieced together the situation — sent a message thick with despair.
[So it really is too late...]
[Haaaah. Fine, whatever. Shall we speak casually from here on, then?]
The sight of the crow realizing the damage was irreversible and instantly resigning herself to it matched the crow I knew perfectly.
How could she be exactly the same as her in-game self in every other respect? The cult had grown to this massive scale — couldn't she at least carry some dignity worthy of it?
...Actually, no. Now that I think about it, if she did change, that would probably be terrifying in its own way. A fool is bad enough, but a fool I know is better than a fool I don't.
[Anyway! I promised to give you a blessing, right? The Chief God did lay down some conditions, but you're the one receiving it, so if there's anything you want, just say the word.]
The Crow Goddess then launched into a whole spiel about the many things she could offer me — and nearly all of it was about my appearance.
"Don't you want to become even more beautiful than you are now?" — the raw, deeply personal longing soaked through every word of it.
Needless to say, I ignored every last syllable. The ones obsessed with my looks are freaks like you, not me.
There are endless genuinely worthwhile things out there — why on earth would I take something that inefficient?
[Oh! Would you be interested in your figure, by any chance? If you wish it, I could even make you a little taller!]
...You can do that?! Seriously!?
Getting taller is actually on the table!?!
Is the day finally coming when I'll get to look down at Frey?!
For one heart-stopping moment I nearly surged forward and nodded my head off — but the deep-buried rationality of a hardened veteran grabbed my instincts by the collar.
Calm down. Get a grip.
In the trials still to come, my height is not a meaningful factor at all.
Growing even a bit taller than I am now won't pull me out of a single crisis.
But the various rewards I could wring out of the Crow Goddess would benefit me directly.
No thought required.
Pass it up.
Wait, though — wouldn't longer arms from being taller actually make me fight better? Combat has always come down to reach and weight class, hasn't it?
Right? Am I wrong?
Any reasonable person would call that a rational choice—
—would it HELL!
Only by biting down hard on my tongue did I barely hold onto my sanity, and in that sting of pain I realized something crucial: I could not keep letting the Crow Goddess toy with me.
Maybe I managed to resist the temptation this time, but there was no guarantee I'd manage it again.
I had to state what I actually wanted and negotiate now!
Having made my decision, I poured mana into the jewel Karia had given me once upon a time, cutting off all sound between me and my surroundings, and opened my mouth.
"Lady Crow Goddess. The more you talk, the uglier you become, so would you kindly stay quiet for a moment? Unless you're *trying* to earn my contempt, I'd think silence would suit you better."
After the beatdowns I'd suffered at the hands of the face-connoisseur fox and the degenerate apostle, I half-feared she'd demand I insult her too — but mercifully, the Crow Goddess shut her mouth for the sake of preserving at least a shred of dignity.
"To be perfectly honest, I don't particularly want anything from you, Lady Crow Goddess. If I carried the blessing of the ringleader of all perverts, I imagine it would crawl over my skin like insects walking on flesh."
[W-wait! Just hear me out?! There's way more good stuff beyond what I already mentioned! I swear!]
"Still rambling away, I see. Do you want my contempt that badly?"
[N-no, that's not—]
"Enough. I have no interest in talking further, so I'll simply tell you what I want. Give me an Aesthetic Sense. Of all your useless powers, it's the least worthless."
The instant the words aesthetic sense left my mouth, the Crow Goddess fell silent once more.
Exactly as expected.
The passive skill Aesthetic Sense was something you could only obtain after toiling for ages as her apostle in the game.
She'd even milked it for every ounce of credit when handing it over back then — she certainly wouldn't just give it away to someone with no connection to her cult, would she?
But knowing all that, the reason I'd brought up Aesthetic Sense had less to do with the skill's usefulness and more to do with setting up my next move.
The moment she refused it, I planned to nitpick every flaw and strip her of blessing after blessing.
I already had a few candidates lined up in my head.
Most of the skills the Crow Goddess handed out were garbage — but combine the right ones, and...
[...Waaaah. So I really do have to hand that one over, huh.]
Huh?
[Oh well. It's part of what I agreed to with the Chief God anyway, so if that's what you want, I've got no choice but to give it.]
Huuh?
No. Wait.
Hold on just a second.
That's not what I actually wanted?
That's not the thing I asked for!?!
I scrambled to cry out in my panic, but the crow was faster at bestowing the blessing than I was at voicing it.
Skill Aesthetic Sense has been granted.
You will now perceive beauty as naturally as you breathe.
...
REFUND!
I want a refund!
Give me something else — anything else!
What the hell am I supposed to do with a skill that's useless for everything except making money?! I am drowning in money as it is!
[It's the most valuable thing I can give, so please, make good use of it!]
No! You didn't have to give me your most valuable thing — keep it! Swap it out! Please! If you let me exchange it even now, I'll pray for you especially! Just this once! For you!
[I'll be cheering you on from the heavens as you walk your path. Good luck! If it's you, I know you can do it!]
Trying to end on a heartwarming note doesn't redeem ANY of this!?
And hold on — cheering me on? What's that supposed to mean. Surely she doesn't mean she'll be watching me from up above?!
Even for a pervert crow, she can't possibly be degenerate enough to openly declare herself a stalker—
The Goddess of Beauty and Art bestows her blessing upon you.
Her power adds its strength to yours.
Unbelievable. So she WAS that degenerate? Rambling on so sweetly while openly declaring she'd be spectating the whole time!
ARGH! Seriously?! As if the loser Chief God, the face-connoisseur fox, and the degenerate apostle weren't enough, now the Crow Goddess is latching onto me too!?
Why does this godforsaken world have so many perverts in it?!
Is it because the Chief God himself is a pervert?!
Yeah, that must be it! Damn it all!
I was grinding my teeth in frustration when I noticed something odd about the atmosphere around me, and I quietly dispelled the soundproofing magic.
"Ooooh!"
"The Goddess has granted her blessing!"
"How can anyone be so beautiful!"
"Is she truly the Goddess incarnate?!"
I stared blankly at the scene — sorrow and fervor coexisting in perfect harmony — then, unable to endure the atmosphere a second longer, I chose flight.
Just try and get me to set foot in the Art Cult again!