The Academy Entrance Exam (1)
For a word out of Lucy's mouth, it was downright cute.
Compared to everything she'd spewed before, "Scatterbrained Lady" was barely worth a raised eyebrow.
It wasn't pleasant to hear, but it wasn't the sort of thing you'd fly into a rage over either. High society was full of ill-tempered gossips who said far worse behind closed doors.
That was precisely why Joy had been so flustered — not because the words were cruel, but because they'd come out of nowhere, at the most unexpected moment imaginable.
Scatterbrained Lady, is it?
I never imagined anyone besides Father would call me scatterbrained. Do I really give off that impression?
"Do I seem scatterbrained to you?"
"Oh dear. My apologies. That was a slip of the tongue."
Lucy said this, but she looked nothing like someone who was sorry. The corners of her mouth curled upward, and the hand she raised to cover those lips was unmistakably, infuriatingly provocative.
At first Joy hadn't thought much of the words themselves. It was that gesture that made her blood warm.
"And yet you were only able to enter Tiara Mas thanks to me, and this is how you repay me? How cruel of you."
"Don't tell me the Scatterbrained Lady expects repayment for her gracious generosity? Fufu. Rather petty of you, for a duke's daughter."
She called me Scatterbrained Lady again!
And on top of that, she says I'm petty?!
My conscience won't let me claim she's wrong — which makes it all the more infuriating!
Why do I have to pay for her meal at Tiara Mas only to hear this kind of talk?!
Little by little, Joy found herself taking Lucy's bait. The original resolution — to stay well out of Lucy's way — had long since been forgotten.
What do I do?
How can I flatten that insufferable smirk off Lady Lucy's face?
That's it. Of course. The Soul Academy entrance exam is tomorrow.
"Lady Lucy. You'll be taking the Soul Academy entrance exam tomorrow, won't you?"
"Yes, I will."
"Then allow me to prove at that exam that I am not, in fact, scatterbrained."
"And how, exactly, do you mean to do that?"
"We'll wager on our exam scores. If I score higher than you, then you're worse than me — which means you'd have no right to call anyone scatterbrained, wouldn't you agree?"
Lucy giggled at the proposition, then answered with a smile.
"Then if I score higher, may I go around calling you Scatterbrained Lady?"
"I accept that title — as the price of your loss."
Joy did not entertain even the faintest notion that she might lose.
Lady Lucy was, after all, a daughter of House Alrn's bloodline, and her physical abilities had clearly grown by leaps and bounds. But that was all.
The academy exam was not purely practical. It was the written portion that carried the greater weight.
According to rumor, Lucy had long since abandoned her studies. There was no conceivable way someone like that could outscore Joy.
How could a girl who ought to be worrying whether she'd pass the academy exam at all hope to beat Joy?
"Watch and see!"
I'll crush you with an overwhelming score, and you'll never breathe that word 'scatterbrained' again!
Even when I arrived before the great iron gates that guard the entrance of Soul Academy, I was still only half-aware of my surroundings.
Yesterday's disaster refused to leave my head, and I couldn't pull myself together.
I called Joy a Scatterbrained Lady — to her face!
Needless to say, it was not my intention. I didn't even call her by name. The only words I'd actually spoken to her were a simple, polite, "Thank you very much for the wonderful meal."
But the Mesugaki Skill had twisted my words of its own accord, turning them into a jab about being a scatterbrained noblewoman!
I should have refused when Joy first suggested we dine together. I knew perfectly well that the Mesugaki translation was a recipe for carnage.
But the fantasy of sharing a meal at Tiara Mas with my favorite character had seduced me, and I'd denied reality. That was my fatal mistake.
Honestly, the meal itself had gone fine until partway through. My strategy — if my words are going to get warped, then simply say nothing at all — was working well enough. Even the atmosphere had been pleasant, as I remembered it.
Joy had clearly enjoyed the food at Tiara Mas, and she'd worn a soft yet merciless smile throughout the entire meal.
That smile looked for all the world like someone plotting to bury a person alive, but given her actual personality, she was probably just smiling because she was in a good mood.
The moment I spat out "Scatterbrained Lady," however, everything changed. Her lips pressed into a hard line, and she simply stared at me.
Her face made it difficult to guess her exact feelings, but one thing was certain: she was displeased.
"Do I seem scatterbrained to you?"
She wouldn't have hurled that question at me in such a frost-blooded tone otherwise.
Hearing it, I panicked and fumbled for an apology to salvage the situation.
"I'm so sorry! That was a slip of the tongue!"
But the apology that came out of my mouth was something else entirely by the time the Mesugaki Skill was done with it.
"Oh dear. My apologies. That was a slip of the tongue."
That was flat-out provocation. It was essentially saying, I do think you're scatterbrained, but since you look upset, I'll take it back. For your sake.
Joy's expression had grown even uglier the moment she heard it, which meant she'd probably parsed it exactly the way I did.
After that, my mind had gone white, and I'd just been spewing whatever came out.
Joy was definitely angry.
Uuuugh. It's over. I torched my one chance to get close to my favorite character with my own two hands.
My reputation was already a crater, and now I'd committed this rudeness on top of it. She'd surely decided I was a person to be avoided at all costs.
『Girl. How long do you intend to dig at the ground over yesterday's affairs?』
Grandpa's voice pulled me back to reality, but the gloom lingered.
『Wailing over the past changes nothing. Apply yourself to what stands before you now.』
"But still, Grandpa."
『Misunderstandings can be cleared away the next time you meet. And to meet that young lady again, you must first pass into the Academy, no?』
"...Well, that's true."
『That child Joy may look fierce, but I told you she bears a fine nature. Speak with her again in the days to come, and she will understand.』
"Will I really be able to explain myself properly, with the way I talk?"
At my question, Grandpa went silent.
The man who'd been chattering away just moments ago suddenly clams up?
You can't guarantee I'll manage a proper explanation, can you, Grandpa?
That's just cruel. This is exactly the moment you're supposed to tell me it'll all work out — even if it's a lie!
I'll never understand how this geezer of a fossil ended up as the most popular knight in the two-hundred-year-old sagas of the Hero.
He must have been flinging money at bards right up until the day he died. Bribing them to pretty up his exploits, no doubt.
How else could you explain the gulf between the Ruel of the hero tales and the Grandpa squatting in my mace?!
After working myself into a proper silent rage, some of the gloom actually blew away.
Haah.
Clearing up a misunderstanding won't be easy. But if I don't get into the Academy, I won't even get the chance to try.
Worse — if I flunk this exam, Lucy's life might be over for good.
Now's the time to forget yesterday and focus on the test.
Let's go! Time to take an exam!
I marched into the Soul Academy testing hall full of fighting spirit — and the moment I sat down at my desk, that motivation went into free fall.
And no wonder, because what awaited me was a towering stack of paper covered in endless lines of text.
I had resolved long ago to give up on written exams entirely, and by now I was well and truly deserving of the title "academic dropout."
Which meant that the one and only thing I'd prepared for this exam was a pencil with a number written on each of its five sides.
I couldn't say for certain, but my current Luck stat was sitting pretty high. The Luck from the Church of the Main God's necklace stacked with the Luck from Ruel's mace, after all.
With no status window, I couldn't check the exact numbers, but I figured I had to be above average.
So rather than solving problems with a brain that was essentially a blank slate, entrusting myself to the providence of the great Dice God in the heavens promised a far better expected score.
And so, while everyone around me pulled out their books and crammed, I sat at my desk with a single pencil laid upon it, waiting for the exam to begin.
"Grandpa."
『What is it now?』
"Everyone's watching me, aren't they?"
『...It would seem so.』
I'd noticed it while staring absently at the blackboard: ever since I'd entered the hall, the people who saw me kept stealing glances my way.
Or perhaps "wary" would be the more accurate word. The seats nearest mine stayed empty as people filled in from the far edges of the room — a sight that told me exactly how much they despised me.
『Girl. What manner of karma have you been piling up in your travels?』
"I wish I knew."
I'd like to know the answer myself.
What on earth did I do in high society to make every single noble child in this room avoid me like the plague?
The seats around me stayed stubbornly vacant for a good long while. They only filled up in the end because there simply weren't enough to go around.
Before long, the exam began.
The first subject: history.
I knew next to nothing about any of the subjects — and among them, history was the one where I was truly starting from zero.
"King Nichard III of the Holy Kingdom, in the face of a foreign invasion..."
Reading the first question's prompt, I became acutely aware of my own foolishness, closed my eyes, and raised a prayer to the heavens.
O Dice God above.
Grant this humble sinner your fortune. Bless the dice that I roll, that they may find the path to the correct answers. Should you hear this prayer, I swear upon everything I have to spread the greatness of the Dice God throughout the world.
So please, I beg of you!
『The answer is 3.』
Ooooh! The Dice God has answered!
I believed you would respond through the pencil, and yet you have descended in person for this irreverent wretch?!
『What are you doing? Open your eyes and read the next question.』
"...Grandpa? It was you?"
『Who else is there to speak into your mind, child?』
"I thought the Dice God had descended!"
『Dice God? What heathenry is this now?』
A heathen?!
The Dice God is the great ruler of probability who watches over this entire game of a world! Blaspheme against Him, and you'll suffer a curse where even a 100% hit rate whiffs every attack!
Well. That part was a joke.
"How would you even know any of this, Grandpa?"
『Have I not told you? The study of history is a noble's basic cultivation.』
He had, in fact, said that. It had gone in one ear and out the other, since I had zero intention of studying.
『Between what I have long known and what that girl Harne drummed into you, I should think you've memorized most anything they might ask.』
"Oh. Then what's the answer to question 2?"
『That one is 1.』
Without a moment's hesitation, Grandpa whispered the answer into my ear.
His voice was so resolute that the instant I heard it, all doubt evaporated.
Ah, Sir Ruel! No wonder you were the most popular knight in the hero sagas!
To think I dared doubt you! I'm sorry! I shall repent!
『Haah. How could a child who has studied for two full months fall short of one who has sat through lessons her whole life?』
Something about the awed murmur beside my ear sounded suspiciously like an insult, but it must have been my imagination.
The holy knight Ruel, savior of the world, would never say such a thing.