Academy Semester-End Party (2)
When I'd received the accessories from the pervert apostle last time, he'd handed me a crystal orb for contacting him along with them.
He said that since he owed me a debt of gratitude, I should reach out whenever I needed anything — and I let that go in one ear and out the other.
Just keeping the face-obsessed fox around was already enough to drive me half-mad, and he wanted me to keep a perverted apostle at my side as well?
Having rendered my judgment, I was about to shove the crystal orb into the trash bin before settling for tossing it carelessly into my Inventory instead.
Setting aside the pervert apostle's character as a human being, his abilities themselves were worth exploiting. I figured someday I'd have occasion to call in a favor.
Looking back now, that judgment proved correct. Less than a month had passed before I needed to summon him.
Max out my Charm, drain the souls out of the entire crowd, then finish the speech and get off the stage before a single one of them comes to their senses.
To drag this absurd plan — born from the face-obsessed fox's nonsense — into reality, I need the pervert apostle's power.
Think about it. It's no small feat to blow people's minds simply by showing your face.
If everyone in the world were trash like the fox or the apostle, maybe. But for a plan hinging on wiping the minds of normal, functioning people, I need my Charm raised to its absolute ceiling.
And the one person who could genuinely be called an expert in raising Charm is precisely the pervert apostle.
Whatever the personal failings of that pedophilic piece of garbage — he was chosen as an apostle by the goddess of beauty and art itself, so his aesthetic sense is nothing short of extraordinary.
Secure his cooperation, and not only would I get a superb outfit out of it, I could receive the blessing of the perverted Crow Goddess to boot.
And while I was at it, there was another favor I needed besides my own styling.
"Lady Alrn! You are beautiful again today! Why, the Goddess herself remarked that—"
Watching the pervert apostle thrust his flushed face up against the crystal orb the instant my call connected, foul words kept surging up my throat.
What exactly had he been doing that he answered my call in one second flat?
Don't tell me he just sits there waiting for me to contact him?
"Your frosty gaze sets my heart racing, my lady! Might you glare at me with even sharper eyes?!"
...Maybe I should just say I dialed wrong and hang up.
Steady yourself, Lucy! You only need to endure a little longer!
If I endure that "little longer," I'm fairly certain my molars are going to shatter.
...Damn it all. If only this man weren't so irreplaceably good at what he does!
As I clenched my fist and wrestled down a whole catalog of insults, the pervert apostle let out an awkward laugh.
"Ah! My apologies! I've been rattling on all by myself. Now then — what business brings your call?"
Well, you see...
"Listen carefully, you revolting pervert apostle. I hereby grant you the right to dress me up."
"...Might you explain in greater detail?"
I held back the precise circumstances and simply told him I'd be delivering a speech at the academy's semester-end party and wished to stand before the crowd at my absolute best — and the apostle's face flooded with rapture.
"Thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart! I shall pay you a visit tomorrow!"
...I'm sorry, what?
No. There's still plenty of time before the party even happens, and you're coming tomorrow?
Is that really necessary?
If you start making a fuss this far in advance it'll just be a burden on me, so you could easily show up a day or two before—
"Apostle! What on earth are you saying?!"
As I blinked at the sheer force of the apostle's enthusiasm, a shrill voice rang out from somewhere behind the crystal orb.
"Do you have any idea how much work has piled up while you've been away, Apostle?!"
"Priestess Keshy. This is a matter more important than my own life."
"Please! Please! Apostle! Have some awareness that you are the Art Order's one and only apostle! You are not in any position to be idling about like some layabout!"
"Um. Keshy?"
"Just recently you declared something was more important than your life and shut yourself away for an entire week crafting accessories! And now what is it this time?!"
"Keshy. Keshy. One moment, please."
"What do you mean, one moment! Because of you, Apostle, I have spent several nights—"
"Calm your anger a little, and kindly look at this crystal orb."
"Haaaah. This had better not be something trivial."
Facing that fury-twisted face of hers, fear quietly dug its claws into my heart.
I. Am. Truly. Sorry. I did not inconvenience you on purpose. That pervert simply latched onto me of his own accord. So if you're going to be angry, please direct it at that pervert...
"...Apostle. Who is this?"
As I continued mentally stacking apology upon apology, the woman's complexion abruptly changed.
Where had all that fury gone? Her face, now brimming with nothing but pure admiration, reminded me unsettlingly of the pervert apostle I'd been facing just moments ago.
"This is the young lady of House Alrn. I have spoken of her to you often, have I not?"
"I did hear of her, but... Wow. I never imagined she would be like this."
Uh. Th-thank you?
"Heh heh. You had best thank me. I have cleansed eyes that would otherwise have been forced to gaze upon something grotesque in the mirror every day."
"How can even her voice be so beautiful!"
I despise the me of thirty seconds ago who briefly believed this woman was the sane one.
Nobody serving under the perverted Crow could possibly be normal — I'd been laboring under a momentary delusion.
I let out a sigh pointedly loud enough to be heard, but the two on the far side of the crystal orb carried on their conversation without sparing my reaction the slightest attention.
"This lady has asked me to oversee her overall coordination."
"...Apostle. Inspiration has just struck. I. I shall come!"
"Even from you, Priestess Keshy, I cannot permit that. This is a task the Goddess herself entrusted to me."
"Ha! Were the Goddess to behold my inspiration, she would change her tune at once!"
Their quarrel was raucous enough to feel deafening even through the crystal orb — apparently loud enough that it must have been echoing through the entire Art Order cathedral.
"Now what is it this time... Oh! Goodness gracious!"
"Please, some quiet!... Apostle! Grant me the chance!"
Several times over, people of the Order came asking what all the commotion was, laid eyes on my face, and promptly joined the fray.
Watching them trample utterly over the opinions of me — the actual party making the request — I simply ended the call and shoved the crystal orb into the trash bin.
I am absolutely, under no circumstances, ever joining the Art Order.
...Yes. I believe even you recognize that to be the correct decision.
"You have all grown considerably — and yet, alas, not one of you could defeat me, the apostle chosen by the Goddess herself."
Watching the pervert apostle's insufferably smug face, every insult known to man surged up from within me, but I swallowed them all down.
Whatever I said, this pervert bastard would only be delighted by it, so why bother moving my lips at all?
"You said the dress itself has already been chosen? Might you show it to me?"
Here you are.
"Now then. Examine it with those revolting, depraved pervert eyes of yours."
When I laid the dress Joy had picked out on the table, the apostle's eyebrows rose a fraction.
"The design is quite fine. I will need to adjust it to fit your figure, but as it stands, there would be no problem proceeding as-is."
"Since I am to wear your accessories, the makeup can simply be matched to those."
"With the Goddess's authority, I might bestow a few blessings upon you as well. Given the immense divinity the lady possesses, surely—"
"Ah! No, this simply won't do! Merely picturing it in my head is not enough! My lady! Might I beg a demonstration? I am certain something will come to me the moment I behold you adorned!"
I studied the pervert apostle's pleading, desperate gaze.
I'm fairly certain I'm the one making the request here.
I haven't even promised him any form of payment yet.
Watching this apostle grovel so desperately, one rather amusing thought occurred to me.
Given the mood he's worked himself into... couldn't I charge him for the privilege of dressing me up?
Um. Excuse me, Apostle...
"Pervert apostle. We haven't had the important conversation yet."
"The important conversation?"
Yes. That being...
"You get to dress me with your pathetic, revolting hands, and feast your eyes on my beautiful form into the bargain. Surely you don't intend to walk away having offered nothing?"
"...I see. My deepest apologies, my lady. That was discourteous of me."
Watching the pervert apostle speak with utter gravity — whatever you desire, I shall do anything within my power — a hollow laugh slipped out of me.
I'd predicted it would come to this, but now that it was actually happening, my head spun.
It's nothing much...
"My demand is simple. I want you to make clothes for my friends, on your end."
Two nights ago.
Half my mind had already blown away over the whole speech fiasco, and after a sleepless night of tossing and turning I simply gave up on sleep, sat myself at my desk, and pored over memories of character customization from my old gaming days.
I didn't think it would be such a difficult task.
My personal fashion sense may not be anything special, granted — but I remembered the outfit-nerds of the old days opening entire arenas to argue over whose aesthetic matched whose.
Conceiving outfits while recalling the customizations once built upon those very debates, I soon slammed face-first into a single, impassable barrier.
...Lucy. That is not a person you have drawn, is it?
It's... technically a person. Technically.
My hands simply lacked the ability to bring the images in my head into the world.
What good is carrying god-tier customization concepts in my skull!
Not when I can't render a single one of them onto paper!
After wrestling through the night to no avail, I endured the Old Man's scathing rebuke — is your intent, then, to avenge yourself upon your friends through sheer sleepless torment? — and abandoned any notion of designing the clothes myself.
In their place, I wrote out on paper the defining traits of outfits that would suit Joy and Phoebe each.
For the purpose of entrusting the actual design to this pervert apostle.
It is a fact that this man is a pedophile, a pervert, and a revolting piece of garbage — but entirely separate from that, his aesthetic sense is genuinely wondrous.
If I have him design based on what I wrote down, the results will be guaranteed to satisfy both of them!
Originally, I had intended to offer compensation and make the request as a separate transaction, but—
"Not a difficult request in the least. If I may adorn you with my own two hands, my lady, I would gladly do that much and more."
Thanks to the pervert apostle being trash beyond all reasonable measure, I get to freeload.
...Wait. I am the one coming out ahead here, right?
There's clearly nothing I've lost out on, so why does my conscience prickle every single time I see that beaming smile of his?
"Might I meet the friends for whom I am to craft these garments? I can only judge properly once I have seen them with my own eyes."
Sure, that's possible, but...
"It's possible, but none of that nausea-inducing chatter like usual, understand? Show even a hint of your perverted nature and I'll smash your skull in."
"Ahaha. Have no fear. I have served as the Order's apostle for years now — how could I possibly lack proper manners?"
On the receiving end of a bow of flawless courtesy accompanied by a gentle smile, I opened my mouth to snap back — if you know manners, then why do you do this to me? — then closed it again, having a fair guess as to what answer would come.
Listening to this pedophile pervert's nonsense would only chip away at my sanity, so I'd simply ignore him. Ignore.
My friends are...
"I'm bringing those fools over right now, so you just get those creepy hands of yours ready."
"You intend to hold the demonstration in front of your friends?"
Yes.
"Yes. That revolting pervert's evaluation carries no objectivity, after all."
Seeing how those four react would give me a rough sense of whether my plan was actually feasible.
Dear heavens, please let the results be good.
Because if they aren't, all this time I've spent enduring this pervert's drivel will have been for absolutely nothing.
"Dear me. It saddens me to be so distrusted. After all, where beauty is concerned, no soul alive is more objective than I."
Letting the apostle's chatter wash over me, I slipped out of the room, clutched my forehead, and heaved a sigh.
Uuuugh. Exhausting. So exhausting.
With just one pervert apostle it's already like this — what manner of hell must the Art Order be, brimming to the rafters with others just like him?
Absolutely not.
No matter what happens.
I will never set foot in that place.
If I were ever to find myself surrounded by devotees of the perverted Crow Goddess, I truly think I would die — mentally, on the spot.