Second Semester Finals (19)
The final day of the Academy's term exams had arrived.
After suffering through hell and back, Vishy's party had finally made it to the second floor of the final exam dungeon — and that turned out to be the absolute ceiling of what they could manage. The raw force the party brought to the table was simply too thin to push past that point. Before they could even sort out what was real and what was fake, they were broken apart and wiped out again and again, until at last they had no choice but to admit it: this was their limit.
"If only Adri hadn't gone quiet on us halfway through, things might've gone differently."
There was no denying that Adri was the reason Vishy's party had held the lead in the early floors. The wisdom of someone who had lived for centuries upon centuries was practically an answer key in a dungeon built to test your gimmick-solving skills. If Adri hadn't sealed her lips shut starting at the fourth floor, couldn't Vishy's party have cleared the whole thing?
"Well, you can't lean on me forever, you know."
"What's wrong with a necromancer getting help from her spirit, huh?"
Vishy muttered, jutting her lips out in a pout, and Adri let slip an awkward little laugh.
"But I'm not really your contracted spirit anymore, am I?"
"That's... true, but still."
The Adri of today was far beyond what a trainee-level necromancer like Vishy could properly bind to her service. The only reason Vishy could call on her help at all was because Adri happened to be fond of her. In any ordinary arrangement between spirit and human, Vishy would have been sacrificed on the altar long ago.
Vishy, who was striving to become a proper necromancer in her own right, understood exactly what Adri was trying to say — but understanding it didn't make the words sting any less.
"Anyway!"
Determined to bury her hurt feelings, Vishy raised her voice and pressed on with a deliberately sulky air.
"Adri. Did you seriously figure out the whole dungeon walkthrough? Or did you just stop talking halfway because you didn't know the rest?"
"Oh, please. I knew all of it. Lady Alrn laid the questions out ever so kindly for us."
"...Kindly? What do you mean, kindly?"
"Well, the finals are over anyway — shall I walk you through it?"
"Go ahead. Let's see if it's all bluster or not."
"First of all—"
"Look here, losers!♡"
Just as Adri was about to continue, a girl's voice rang out from the entrance of the exam hall. Clear, beautiful, ticklish, and infuriating — a voice every student in the Academy could identify in an instant.
Lucy Aln.
The author of the Academy's Dungeonology exam, and the object of every examinee's hatred thanks to her sadistic gimmicks and viciously cryptic hints.
"Pfft♡ Watching the defeated crawl around on the floor is just too funny♡ I made you sweet, kind-hearted me such an easy dungeon, and you still couldn't clear it?♡ That's soooo pathetic♡ You're hopeless beyond saving, and your brains are tiny to boot♡ Why do you even bother carrying that thing around on your shoulders?♡"
As Lucy's chuckling voice spread through the exam hall, the eyes turning toward her began, little by little, to soak with hostility.
"She builds something monstrous, then refuses to clear it herself."
"Did you come all the way here just to rub it in? What a rotten personality."
"Poison in a pretty bottle."
"God, she's infuriating."
A low murmur rippled through the countless students filling the hall — a crowd steeped in loathing and fury. It was the kind of atmosphere that would put a flicker of fear in even the boldest of souls, yet Lucy Aln stood there utterly composed.
"From now on, I'm going to show you all just exactly how pathetic you were♡ Handing learning opportunities to idiots who never change no matter how old they get♡ Honestly, I'm too kind, even by my own standards♡"
Having delivered the words without so much as a tremor, Lucy let out a giggle loud enough for everyone to hear — the attitude of someone actively hoping the entire room would become her enemy.
Watching this, Vishy found herself tilting her head without meaning to. Whatever the Lucy Aln of the past had been, the Lucy of today wasn't the type to go around picking fights for no reason. Barring the occasional bout of madness, she'd been showing herself to be more reasonable than most nobles lately.
Vishy, whose connection to Lucy was half-coerced as it was, couldn't for the life of her understand why the girl was deliberately stoking the crowd's anger.
Is there really any reason for her to act like that?
"Of course there is."
...Adri. Are you reading my thoughts AGAIN?!'
"What can I say? It comes through even when you plug your ears."
Adri gave a mocking little shrug, miming the act of covering her ears, and Vishy let out a long sigh.
...Haaah. So you're telling me Lucy Aln is doing all this on purpose?'
"To be precise, I'd say it's half intent, half genuine. Her contempt for the students seems completely sincere."
"If I dropped that obvious a hint and you still missed it, I'd honestly get annoyed' — hearing that made Vishy's brow furrow.
Hey! That basically means you got annoyed watching ME clear the dungeon!'
"Oh dear, a slip of the tongue."
Slip nothing! You did it on purpose!'
Vishy was in the middle of fuming — promising to pinch both of Adri's cheeks later — when a student in the exam hall stepped forward to stand before Lucy.
The young man who had recently confronted Lucy Aln about her dungeon. The one who had picked the fight first, only to get thoroughly beaten down by a girl half his size.
"We meet again, Lady Alrn. I am Inam of House Com—"
"I have ab~solutely zero interest in a loser's name?♡ So why don't you stop wasting my precious time and get to the point?"
"...Then I'll be blunt. You designed this dungeon yourself, my lady, so naturally you know everything inside it. And with power beyond comparison to any ordinary first-year — escorting a professor alongside you, no less — you could stroll through it like a walk in the park. I would question whether it befits a noble to sneer at others while doing something so effortless."
The words Inam of House Com forced out through gritted teeth were, setting aside his disgraceful display days ago, undeniably sound reasoning. What meaning was there in most students attempting the dungeon with strength they simply didn't possess?
Several examinees nodded along as they listened — and then—
"Pfft♡ Pffpffht♡ PWAHAHAHAHA♡"
Lucy failed utterly to contain her laughter, cackling as she broke into applause. The endless, rolling laughter — as if a court jester had told her the joke of the century — carved the tendons taut along the young man's neck.
Had he not been truly educated just days prior, Inam's fist would already have been flying. Those who found Lucy's presence intolerable were straining to lunge forward, only to be held back by the people beside them.
Lucy, for her part, ignored all of it, laughing until the breath was squeezed out of her lungs — and only then did she open her mouth.
"Did nobody ever teach you that listening to someone all the way through is basic manners?♡ Premature scrub?♡"
"...What exactly are you trying to say."
"I literally just said it?♡ I'm going to show you all how pathetically, hopelessly, laughably pathetic you are?♡"
"Yes, and what does that—"
"I'm going to clear the dungeon I built for the third-year dum-dums all by myself, starting right now♡ That's the only way to prove that you scrubs' brains are garbage through and through♡"
At Lucy's declaration that she would solo the third-year dungeon, silence washed over the exam hall, if only for a moment.
It was absurd. This was the dungeon that had stumped even the third-years on the verge of graduation. The dungeon that even Lord Kurten — a prodigy of staggering physical talent — had admitted yielded no answers. And Lucy Aln, a mere first-year, intended to clear it alone? However formidable her strength, it was impossible. Utterly beyond common sense.
Most of the students, having judged the claim a violation of all reason, concluded that Lucy Aln was simply posturing — spouting whatever came to mind because she couldn't stand losing an argument.
But that assumption collapsed the moment Professor Jesl, the Dungeonology instructor standing at Lucy's side, gave a solemn nod.
"Everything the young lady says is true. Lady Alrn entered the third-year dungeon alone, and she will demonstrate that no strength whatsoever is required to clear this term's final dungeon — while simultaneously explaining its walkthrough."
"You heard her?♡ So from now on, I'm going to show everyone that the only reason you losers couldn't clear it is because you're dumb and pathetic — and that the dungeon I made is flawless♡"
Leaning on Jesl's word as her authority, Lucy Aln surveyed the crowd staring at her, then took a single step forward.
"So don't get in my way. Move it♡ Premature scrub♡"
"...I sincerely pray you can honor those words."
As Inam of House Com stepped aside, a path opened up of its own accord. Without a single obstruction, Lucy Aln arrived before the third-year dungeon — and stepped straight inside without any preparation whatsoever.
No armor. No shield. No weapon. Nothing but her academy uniform, plain as the day she was born.
It's for... performance, right? She'll pull a shield and a weapon out of her sub-space pouch later... right?
The moment Vishy, watching her, murmured this to herself — as if he had predicted exactly that thought — a maddeningly smug voice echoed from somewhere.
'Is there a single loser out there who assumed I'd draw a weapon after entering the dungeon?♡ If so, I'll praise you♡ Thinking something that stupid is a talent too, you know?♡'
"Pfft. She says she'll praise you."
Vishy snapped at Adri to shut up, chewed on her lip, and turned her head toward where the voice was coming from. There, a projection large enough for everyone in the exam hall to see was playing out in vivid detail.
'I don't see any goldfish here who've already forgotten what I told them?♡ I said it, didn't I♡ No strength is needed to clear this dungeon♡'
On-screen, Lucy walked the corridor, voice ringing out — then cut off her giggle and let out a bright gasp.
'Oh!♡ Right!♡ There might be some idiot out there thinking this is a pre-recording♡ Hmmmm~♡ What ever shall I do about that♡ Maybe I should describe just how remarkably un-human-looking the premature scrub who picked a fight with me a minute ago is?♡'
Your eyes are disgusting. Your face is huge. Your voice makes me sick.
The abuse poured out as easily as breathing, and Inam's face flushed crimson, then deeper, distorting gradually into something like a vengeful spirit. Every witness who took in that transformation became certain of one thing: this was no recording. No acting could ever have produced Inam's shifting expression.
'Aww, the corridor's over already♡ And I had so much material left to dig into♡ What a shame~♡'
With a promise to describe, some other time, just how artistically hideous the premature scrub truly was, Lucy picked up the note resting in the cradle — and the scenery around her shifted.
The first room. A chamber of soldiers and knights that brute force could scarcely bring down, beatable only by striking one specific spot.
'There's no way a garbage scrub failed the first room, so I'll skim past this one♡ If some cretin out there did fail it, go back and read my hints very, very carefully♡ Got it?♡ And if some bottom-of-the-barrel moron still can't manage it... hmmm~♡'
"Forget the hints — the knight is just too damn strong! That damned—!"
Unable to hold it in any longer while listening to Lucy, someone in the crowd roared — but the shout never reached its end. Failing to clear the first room was, in itself, the mark of a failing student. Amid the snickers drifting in from every direction, the shouting student had no choice but to shut his mouth.
By the time that small commotion died down, Lucy in her academy uniform had already arrived in front of the first soldier.
'Hey. At least take a weapon—'
'Why?♡ Scared you'll get beaten by an unarmed little girl?♡ PWAHAHA♡ You should be scared♡ Because then you won't have a single excuse left♡—'
Before Lucy could even finish, the hollow-eyed soldier put strength into its hand and moved.
Vishy lost track of it entirely. The soldier's movements were far too fast for her dynamic vision to follow. All she could do was watch the result: a spear thrust through empty air — and Lucy Aln somehow already buried inside the soldier's guard.
'Pfft♡ Quick temper, slooow spear~♡'
That was all there was to it.
Lucy gave the soldier's hollow abdomen a light tap, then bounced toward the next one with a skipping, springy step, her voice chiming all the while.
'See? Like this♡ What do you think?♡ Surely there's no moron out there who can't even manage what this tiny little girl just did?♡'
"...Is he seriously saying that with a straight face?"
Someone in the crowd voiced their disbelief — but not a single person rose to argue. Because most of the students there were thinking exactly the same thing.