Conquest Prep (20)
"Pardon? What on earth—"
Watching Isabel blink at me in bewilderment, I realized I'd skipped far too much of the explanation.
Ah. Is the Heojeop Chief God's sloppy manner of speaking rubbing off on me now?
'There were far too many summaries. Allow me to explain once more...'
"Ahh, sorry. I suppose that's a bit hard to follow for a devout little pervert with no actual knowledge. Since I'm such a good girl, I'll explain it again for you. What I'm saying is — me, the beloved of our Heojeop Chief God, am offering you the chance to help take down that gloomy weakling Tariki."
The moment I finished, Isabel forgot all about the composure she'd been struggling to maintain, stared blankly at my face for a long beat, then turned her eyes aside.
She'd just heard talk of apostles and evil gods — the kind of nonsense that belonged in a fairy tale. If my words had been sheer lunacy, then Phoebe, the Church's own Saintess, would surely have reacted.
But there wasn't so much as a hairline crack in Phoebe's expression. All she offered Isabel, who was staring at her, was a gentle smile.
"It's... true?"
"Ah. Phoebe. I have resolved never to do anything that would bring shame before the Chief God."
Phoebe's title might be a fabrication, but the faith that rested beneath it was never once a lie.
She was a genuinely good person, someone who carried a faith more upright than anyone's. She was absolutely not the kind of person who would lie in the Chief God's name.
Phoebe had spent long years proving exactly that.
And Isabel, with all her connections to the Church of the Main God, would know this fact better than anyone.
That was why I'd brought Phoebe into this conversation first.
If Lucy Alrn — famous for blasphemy — stood up and claimed to be God's apostle all on her own, people would just call me a madwoman. But with Phoebe standing at my side, the story changed.
No matter how absurd the claim, if Phoebe nodded along with it, that nod lent it credibility.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference in reputation between a Saintess who has racked up countless good deeds and a delinquent noble girl!
"The young lady truly is one who receives the Chief God's love."
As Phoebe delivered her solemn confirmation, Isabel's gaze swung back to me.
I could see a whirlwind of thoughts churning behind her flustered, startled eyes.
I'd known she wouldn't just accept it outright.
Think about it. What kind of person is Lucy?
A madwoman who has spent the last several years mocking the Church of the Main God, that's what.
Who would believe that such a heretic was secretly the Chief God's apostle? I wouldn't believe it either. I'd probably say, so the idiot finally cracked, huh.
But it's fine. I have proof of my apostleship coming out of my ears.
The only reason I'd hidden it was because I didn't want it discovered. If I started explaining actively, using my game knowledge, I could convince anyone that I was the Chief God's apostle, no problem at all.
That was why I could stay perfectly calm even as Isabel rose from her seat and came walking toward me.
Go on, then. Ask me anything. Whatever question comes out of your mouth, the words at the end of it are going to be: 'So you really were the Chief God's apostle all along!'
"I see."
...Huh?
"I see! I understand everything! So that's why you were carrying the Chief God's divinity in your arms!"
Thump!
Isabel, who had reached my side, dropped to her knees on the floor.
Tears were welling up in her eyes, overflowing with emotion.
Hands reverently clasped together.
Even a flawless, textbook-perfect kneeling posture.
Taking all of that in, my brain went so numb that I forgot every single thing I'd been planning to say.
...No, seriously. Is there some secret academy that teaches merchants how to kneel and grovel? Why is it that every single person bearing the title 'merchant' has picture-perfect posture?
Even as I fled into other thoughts because reality was too much to bear, Isabel's chorus of praise carried on without pause.
"I thought from the moment we first met that there was something extraordinary about you — but to think that your true identity was the apostle of the almighty Chief God Himself!"
It's great that she believes me without a shred of doubt, but couldn't you sit in a chair while telling me this?
The way you're looking at me right now is honestly quite unsettling.
If I hadn't come here to ask for something, I'm pretty sure I would've already bolted. For real.
"You found me extraordinary? In what way, exactly?"
Um, Phoebe? Why are you suddenly striking up conversation with this madwoman?
Shouldn't you just leave people like this alone until they calm down?
"First and foremost, it must be the divinity you carry, my lady! That warmth, soft and enveloping like the spring sun — it was truly the very embrace of the Chief God Himself!"
"Isn't that the truth? Every time I face the young lady's divinity, I find myself wanting to kneel and offer a prayer. The young lady has told me not to, so I've been holding back."
"Truly?! What a tragedy this is!"
...Hm? No. No, wait just a moment.
Excuse me, you two? Why are you suddenly bonding over this?
"Another thing that stands out is the lady's beauty. She was always lovely enough to rouse the jealousy of the other noble daughters, but ever since she came to carry the Chief God's light, she has transcended the human level entirely. Even the apostle who serves the Goddess of Beauty and Art sang her praises."
"What is there even to say? I confess that if I could, I would have a portrait painted of her and treasure it forever."
"Ohh! As expected of the Saintess! I should love to do the very same!"
Hello? There's an actual human being between you two, you know?
The person you're talking about is right here, you know?
I'm happy you two get along, really, but could you maybe tone it down a little?
"Though there is something you do not yet know, Head of House Artea."
"And what might that be? Pray, share your wisdom with me, Saintess."
"The young lady's true magnificence lies within. That unwavering heart of hers — heedless of her own life, thinking only of another's salvation! You seem to have such fine perception that I shall share a special account from my own experience..."
"Could you two not compete over who's the bigger pedophile pervert?♡ I'm genuinely so disgusted I'm about to dry-heave?♡"
Their duet of praise only came to an end after I wedged myself into the middle of it.
Phoebe's lips still moved as if she had plenty more to say, and Isabel couldn't quite hide her disappointment — both of which were uncomfortable to watch, but if I started calling out every little thing, we'd never finish this conversation, so I let it go.
'...Is it seriously me? Am I actually the problem here?'
No. If it were just one oddball, I'd write it off as 'well, the world has strange people in it.' But it's never just one! It's literally everyone!
And those strange people are all perfectly, utterly normal the moment I'm not in the room!
<Ye are a girl-child. Fear not, all is well. 'Tis simply that everyone around thee is strange.>
'And that's not supposed to worry me?'
<What wouldst thou have me say? Reality is what it is.>
"Reality is what it is" — those were cruel, sorrowful words. All the more so because I couldn't argue with them.
This is all the Heojeop Chief God's fault. She's a pervert, so naturally every single person who follows her is a pervert too!
<Yet there is a silver lining in this as well.>
'Which is?'
<It seems unlikely thou wilt ever need to worry about thy secret as the Chief God's apostle being divulged.>
Well... I mean, yeah. That's true. That's exactly what I was counting on when I told Isabel in the first place, so...
Argh, whatever! Who cares! As long as the deal goes through, that's all that matters!
"Ahem."
Just as I was silently screaming into the depths of my own soul, Isabel — her face now neatly composed — cleared her throat.
"Forgive the commotion. I was simply... taken by surprise."
"I understand completely, Lady Artea. I was the same way, once."
"Thank you. In any case — if Lady Alrn truly is an apostle who serves the Chief God, then what you said about Tariki needing to be vanquished..."
"Is the honest truth. I confirmed it with these two eyes."
Was it the bonding over that perverted conversation just now? Phoebe, who until moments ago had been hanging back a step, now stepped forward to drive the discussion.
"Then requesting the Church's cooperation would..."
"That will not do, Lady Artea. That is why..."
"Ohh! Extending a hand of salvation even toward one who has strayed down the wrong path! Truly, you are the Chief God's apostle!"
Welp. Whatever. Things do seem to be going smoothly, at least.
Isabel's eyes are practically sparkling — she'll gladly accept my request for cooperation, I can tell.
That's right. Think positive. If I can sell off a bit of my dignity and rake in hundreds of platinum coins in return, isn't that a net profit?
"I understand the situation now."
Once everything had been said — though where exactly she'd found the material for all that being-moved, I couldn't begin to guess — Isabel drew out her handkerchief, dabbed away her flowing tears, and nodded.
"I, Isabel Artea, have searched ever since the day the Chief God saved me for a way to repay that grace. And so I intend to cooperate with you as fully as I can. But before that, I have just two small requests."
'What would those be?'
"What are they, you perverted zealot?"
Requests? I had no idea what they might involve, but Isabel was the one doing me the favor here. So if it's something I can offer in return, I'll oblige as much as I'm able.
As long as it's not too weird or perverted, anyway.
"The first is that you would leave the miracle you are about to perform within this crystal orb."
Holding the crystal orb out toward me, Isabel explained upfront that it bore Artea security magic — nothing recorded within could ever leak elsewhere — and that it would be kept strictly for her private collection and no other purpose.
Well, I can manage that much. It's hardly a difficult request.
I'd have to check with Alsaetin later on whether what Isabel claimed was actually true, but if the orb really could be used for nothing but personal keepsakes, then I'd do my very best to give her a good show.
'Understood. And the second?'
"So even the perverted zealot turns out to be a voyeur on top of it all? Fine, fine. I'm a good girl, so I'll respect your weird little fetish. What's the other one?"
"Thank you so very much! The other request is this — might you be willing to leave behind some of your divinity before you depart, my lady?"
Leave behind my divinity? When I tilted my head in confusion, Phoebe helpfully elaborated.
"A priest leaves their divinity, along with words of blessing, inside a special orb made to hold it. It's a customary gesture when visiting a noble house."
Ah, so that's what she meant. I was suspicious there might be something perverted about it since Isabel was the one asking, but it's perfectly normal.
In that case, there was no reason to refuse. Considering how much I was about to be paid, surely I could manage something this simple.
The moment I gave an easy nod, Isabel shot to her feet in a flurry and dashed out of the parlor.
She returned shortly after, her attire slightly disheveled, and placed a small orb on the table before me.
"Please, right here, if you would."
Mm-hm. So all I have to do is pour my divinity into it?
As I reached out a hand to lightly touch the orb, Phoebe stopped me.
"No, my lady. It must be offered with a heartfelt prayer, and your divinity bestowed together with your blessing."
A heartfelt prayer? To whom, exactly? To the Heojeop Chief God?
You want me to pray — from the heart — to that perverted freak?
'Can't I just skip all that and pour in the divinity?'
"Heojeop Saintess. Why do you have to be so strict about everything?"
No, seriously, my body physically rejects it on a cellular level. Can't I just deposit the divinity and call it a day?
I tried arguing that much, but Phoebe shook her head with more resolve than I'd ever seen from her.
"She is the one who has given you so much. The least you owe her is your whole heart."
<The child speaks true. She hath given thee much — the least thou canst do is see this small thing through properly.>
It was sound logic. It was absolutely sound logic, but...
Agh. Fine! I'll do it! I said I'll do it!
I took a deep breath, clasped my hands together, and closed my eyes.
A heartfelt prayer, huh.
I'd never actually done one before, so I couldn't say I knew the technique, but roughly speaking — thank the Heojeop Chief God or whatever, then wish Isabel well for her future. That should about cover it, right?
...Well. It's not like I have nothing to be thankful for.
The Heojeop Chief God — no, Lady Armadi — has helped me an enormous amount up until now, that much is true.
Without her help, I wouldn't be sitting in this chair right now.
Granted, she's the reason half those dangers existed in the first place, but every time, she did at least try to take responsibility in her own way.
If it weren't for her usual perverted antics, I could thank her gladly and without reservation.
Honestly speaking, Armadi is the first name that comes to mind even in my moments of greatest peril.
The same goes for wishing Isabel well.
She comes across as extremely eccentric in person, but Isabel is a good person. She earns mountains of money and donates mountains of it, does enormous amounts of good in the world.
If Isabel prospers, that many more people receive salvation — so I could wish for her future with a genuinely glad heart.
...No matter how I think about it, though, this doesn't feel anything like a pious prayer.
Eh, whatever. If it doesn't take, so be it.
And so, thinking that, I opened my eyes again — and the very first thing I saw was a warm light that filled the entire room.
Startled, I looked around in a panic, and before long I realized the source of it was me.
I knew it naturally enough the moment I saw Phoebe and Isabel kneeling on either side of me, deep in prayer.
Uh. I don't really understand, but... the prayer worked, I guess?
So now all I have to do is pour my divinity into this orb, right?
Thinking it over in a daze, I channeled my divinity into the orb — and the light that had been flowing around me poured into it in turn, filling the room to the brim with warmth.
📅 Daily Quest: Apostle of the Chief God
🌞 The Chief God was moved by your pious prayer!
✨ Perform your morning grooming each day, then offer a devout prayer — and a fitting reward shall be granted!
Lady Armadi. I understand you're pleased that I, who have never once offered anything resembling a real prayer, finally knelt down and prayed.
But why, exactly, is there emphasis on the grooming part?
Is it just my imagination that I'm sensing impure intent here?
...
You Heojeop pervert Chief God! It's because you keep pulling crap like this that I can't work up any reverence for you!
Just! Be! Quiet! Sometimes!