Speedrun Prep (7)
‘Grandpa. If you don't cut it out right now, I'm seriously going to lose my temper?!’
This is the moment I actually need to focus, and he keeps doing this?!
<But still! Keugh! How am I supposed to hold it in, looking at that! Argh, fine! Punish me if you must! Whatever it is, I shall accept it gladly!>
‘Oh? Really? You'll accept anything I dish out?’
Oh, poor Grandpa. You've just gone and pulled out the one word you should never, ever say.
You'll do anything, you say?
It seems you are still unfamiliar with the depths of human malice.
Well, it can't be helped. Until now I've only ever learned from you, so this time, allow me to kindly return the favor.
So that from now on, you never again speak the words "anything."
<...Yeoa? What are you thinking about right now?>
‘Who knows~?’
<The privy? A slop pail? Or—don't tell me you're thinking of tossing me to the Lord of the Forest?>
‘Hm. So that's the extent of your imagination, Grandpa? Your brain's gotten awfully stiff.’
<...What? You're telling me there's something WORSE than that?!>
The truth was, I hadn't actually thought of anything at all. I had no intention of doing anything to Gramps, either.
But Grandpa doesn't know that.
And because he doesn't know, he can't help but imagine it. The terrible punishment awaiting him.
<Retraction! I retract my previous statement! I swear I shall keep quiet from now on!>
Just what kind of images were flickering through Grandpa's head right now? I couldn't say for certain, but I imagine they were something quite dreadful indeed.
‘Grandpa, there's really no need for all that. You know how much I like you, after all.’
<Right? That was a jest, yes?>
‘I know a great knight like you would never take back something he once said. Don't worry—I'll protect your honor with my life!’
<...Yeoa? What exactly do you mean by that.>
‘Absolutely!'’
<Yeoa? YEOA?!>
So I gave him no answer whatsoever. Opening my mouth would only put a damper on Grandpa's imagination, wouldn't it?
Grandpa's terrified voice was noisy in a different sense, but it was better than before. At the very least, it wasn't grinding on my nerves anymore.
I'd have to tell him later, once all this was over, that I'd let it slide just for today and he'd better watch himself going forward.
Letting Grandpa's frantic voice wash over me, I lifted my head—and there was the skeleton, walking down toward us from the left.
As I started forward to meet his stride, Carl and Luka both panicked, insisting that skeleton was far beyond anything I could handle. I ignored them.
"Soo~♡ Do I look like an idiot who can't see past her own nose, the way you all do?♡ Just because you're monkeys, don't go lumping me in with the rest of the primates, 'kay?~♡"
I was the one who suggested coming to this place in the first place.
I was the one who tracked down the entrance to a dungeon nobody else knew existed.
And I was the one who led you all through a labyrinth where a single misplaced step would send you right back to the entrance.
Did they really think someone like me hadn't noticed that skeleton walking up?
At my words, Luka nodded as if something had finally clicked and stepped back, and before long Carl reluctantly withdrew too, making a show of how much he disliked it.
"Are you not afraid?"
The skeleton, who had been waiting since descending from the left, posed the question to me as I stood there alone.
Was I afraid?
‘Not even a little.’
"Me? Afraid of you? Hahah! Not a chance! Why on earth would I be scared of a skeleton you'd hand over to a puppy as a chew toy?"
What I fear is a variable. A variable I can't predict. You're no different from the one in the game—why on earth would I be afraid of that?
If anything, I'm overjoyed to be meeting you right now. Because with you as my opponent, I can find out exactly how far my shield will hold.
A chance to parry an attack that mimics a hero's—without any risk of dying for it.
Ah. Just thinking about it has me excited.
"...I see. I do like your audacity."
Did he know? That his voice was trembling just a little?
The skeleton, doing his best to look composed, cleared his throat and raised his arm overhead.
At once, mana condensed around the skeleton's bare wrist, soon taking the shape of a shield.
To describe it in a single word: it was pristine white.
Despite the countless battles it had endured.
Despite crossing innumerable thresholds between life and death.
Despite standing more defiantly than anyone before the darkness.
The colossal shield had lost none of its noble, radiant white light—it was, unmistakably, the very shield I had longed for.
Ankir.
The unbreakable shield bestowed upon a hero by the god Himself.
I tried my Appraisal skill to confirm whether it was genuine, but unfortunately my proficiency was still too low to read something of this caliber.
‘Grandpa.’
So I called for Gramps—the one person alive who had seen that shield closer than anyone.
<Tch. That lustrous white—there's no doubt. That's Ankir, all right.>
Even though I hadn't said a word about my intentions, Grandpa caught on immediately and gave me his answer—yet there was something strange in it.
‘...Lustrous?’
<...There's a story there.>
‘So you're refusing to cooperate with me now, is that it? Keep that up and we'll have problems.’
<It is a PRIVATE matter! Even if you threaten me, I cannot answer!>
Ah. A private matter, hm?
And here I thought he was just being petulant and hiding something.
Well, whatever—it's clearly the genuine article, so all that's left is for me to clear the trial.
"This shield was granted by an emissary of the gods to a knight found wanting. As such, it cannot be handed over to one without qualification. If you truly desire this shield, then you must overcome the trial I shall set before you."
As I listened to his speech, I spread divinity throughout my body—the optimal physical state I could prepare at this moment.
"The trial is this. I shall deliver five attacks. You need only block every one of them perfectly."
The trial laid down by the skeleton who believed himself to be Garad was a simple one.
Block five of his attacks.
More precisely: watch an attack coming down so fast you could barely see it, match its angle, and land five consecutive just-parries with less than a single frame of grace.
That alone was enough to make players spew curses—but that lunatic of a skeleton changed his attack angle, timing, and power on every single attempt, making it even more miserable.
In truth, it was a trial designed to be impossible—inserted purely to tell you not to bother.
Which is why most players never attempted it at all. There was no need; you could just smash the skeleton to pieces and acquire Ankir that way.
I used to do the same. Until I went after the achievements, that is.
One of Soul Academy's achievements was clearing Garad's Trial five times in a row. So to hit 100% completion, I had to completely break this guy's trial.
Even now it makes me want to curse. How many days did I grind at that thing again?
At least a month. And right around the one-month mark, I remember watching some physical-gifted freak clear it in a single day and cursing them out twice over.
"Are you ready?"
The skeleton asked the moment I'd finished every bit of doping available to me. I nodded and drew out my shield.
‘Ready.’
"And you? Ready to have every attack blocked and dragged through the dirt?"
"...Gaji."
I watched the skeleton raise his sword and focused my mind.
The method I'd used to finally clear that achievement was simple, and completely insane.
Memorize every single one of the skeleton's movements. Then, using that memorization, hammer the timing into my body through sheer repetition.
With my reflexes back then, there was simply no way I could react to the skeleton's attacks on sight—this was the only way.
At first I doubted it would even work, but it turns out there's nothing time and madness can't accomplish if you throw enough of both at a wall.
Thanks to all that desperate effort, I never failed the skeleton's trial again afterward.
And I figured things wouldn't be much different now.
Why?
Because I could see it.
The skeleton's every movement.
His arm rose overhead.
His wrist crossed above his nose—so it's coming in strong.
His shoulder tilted slightly left.
A diagonal strike, descending from the left side.
Angle and power identified. All that's left is the timing.
Ah. His wrist just moved.
Now?
The instant I caught all three conditions, my body moved on its own.
The effort my past self had piled up.
The shield mastery I'd built into this body.
The experience of countless battles.
It all set my body in motion.
Trailing right behind it, the voice of Iron Wall brushed through my mind.
Its counsel matched the movement I'd chosen, perfectly, without a hair's deviation.
Ting!
The instant the sword struck the shield, the skeleton's blade rebounded off it and flew away.
Shield arts honed to their absolute limit had returned every ounce of the impact to its sender.
The skeleton scrabbling desperately to recover his balance drew a laugh right out of me.
I couldn't help it.
The euphoria climbing up my spine had flooded my entire mind.
Ah. Yes. This. This is it.
This is why I carry a shield.
"Is this seriously the trial?♡ It's not, is it?♡ This is just a warm-up swing, right?♡ Right?♡"
Oh, but by the way. There is one thing I'm not happy about.
That skeleton's attitude, specifically.
What is he doing, moving in slow motion? This from the guy who threw attacks I could barely track with my eyes?
I was planning to use this trial to both pass it and audit my current shield skills.
And he's pulling his punches enough for anyone to notice? Is this a joke?
"Huh♡ That was the real trial?♡ For real?♡ That attack was a trial? The kind you'd use for pruning hedges?♡"
I want harder, faster, trickier attacks.
I want to feel the fruit of the effort my past self poured out, and the effort this me has stacked up since.
"Puhahah♡ Bone-pile knight♡ Say, ever thought about working as a gardener at our estate?♡ I'll have you trained up nice and steady, starting from the very bottom of the apprenticeship!♡"
So come at me for real.
Don't you dare go easy on me because I'm a little brat.
"...The remaining four shall be different."
I smiled as I watched the skeleton steady his sword.
All right. What's next, then? How are you planning to shatter my shield this time?
"Gaji."
His right foot stepped forward, didn't it?
So he's charging in to bring down a full-power blow?
His two-handed sword is drawn back behind his hip.
At a glance, it looks like a horizontal sweep—but I know better.
I, and only I, know.
Because I faced this goddamn skeleton more times than I can count, I know it far too well.
That's a feint.
The attack that's really coming is an upward slash, cleaving through the earth and rocketing skyward from below.
The timing?
The moment the skeleton's jaw trembles.
In other words, plainly put—
Now.
Ting!
The sword that had been ascending to heaven was cut off by my shield and slammed straight back down into the earth.
"Didn't I tell you it would be different?♡ Ah!♡ Silly me—no brain in that skull, so you don't know what 'different' means!♡ Lucky you, I'm sweet and kind, so I'll explain it special, just for you~♡"
Faster than the first, but still not enough.
Not threatening in the slightest, you dumb pile of bones.
The you on my monitor wasn't this tame! You were shining, damn it!
"'Different' means 'not the same'!♡ Like the difference between a trashy bone-pile with garbage swordsmanship and Grandpa the holy paladin, who was an actual hero!♡"
"...Are you saying, just now, that I am inferior to Ruel—that insolent old fool?"
"That's right!♡ Turns out dumb skeletons are bad at comprehension too, huh?♡ I didn't say you were worse—I said you're different!♡ As in, you were never even in the same league to begin with♡"
I could see the skeleton's hands trembling.
Ah. He's finally and properly furious.
Gramps swore up and down that the two of them didn't get along, so I figured as much—glad to have it confirmed.
"Arrogant. And insolent."
Come on, then. Come at me, you pathetic heap of bones.
"I shall carve a hero into that body of yours."
Give me everything you have.
I'm telling you to give it your absolute best to bring down this insolent little brat.
That's the only way shattering you will feel satisfying.