House Burrow (3)
My mind went completely white for a moment — it was impossible to understand what Joy was saying.
No, I mean.
Huh?
...Ahaha. I see.
'See what?'
She must have found it strange that you'd go out of your way to request the power of a Ducal House just to pay a sick visit.
...So roughly, the logic goes like this?
Lucy suddenly begged the Duke for a favor because she wanted to pay a sick visit to the Burrow family.
There's no way she'd make a request like that for no reason, so there had to be something behind it.
The only connection between Lucy and the Burrow family is the Inferior Young Master.
Therefore, Lucy must have taken an interest in the Inferior Young Master.
That last remark of hers was this entire chain of reasoning with all the middle steps cut out, huh.
After a long struggle, I managed to grasp the context — but even so, the absurdity refused to fade.
I have plenty I'd like to say about this.
But first, I have to collect payment for the bewilderment you've caused me, Joy.
"Your brain's gone all pink, hasn't it?♡ Oh, could it be jealousy?♡ So the Scatterbrain was interested in the Inferior Young Master?♡"
"...What? No! I would never—!"
"Don't worry!♡ I have no interest in that piece of trash anyway♡ Ah. Wait, am I not supposed to call my friend's crush a piece of trash?♡"
"I said it's not like that!"
Joy's face had gone as red as her brain apparently had, and she let out an ear-splitting screech.
Judging by how violently she was recoiling, she really must have no interest in him.
Then why on earth are you trying to tie me to some guy neither of us cares about, huh? Scatterbrain, you absolute scatterbrain.
Considering Joy's age and how girlishly she acts, her obsession with romance gossip isn't remotely strange — but could you please leave me out of it?
It's pissing me off. Genuinely?
I heaved a sigh, barely able to stomach the irritation, and Joy stole a furtive glance at me.
"...You really don't have any interest in him?"
'No, quite the opposite—'
"Let me flip the question, Scatterbrain. Why on earth would you think I'd care about a guy like that?"
"Well, um, you see, it's just..."
Hm? Why is she stammering all of a sudden?
No matter how I look at it, that's the reaction of someone hiding something?
I said nothing and simply reproached her with a look, and Joy finally couldn't bear it and spoke up.
"...There was a rumor going around."
What Joy told me was about the time I'd been trying to raise the Inferior Young Master's favorability.
I had tried to hand him a necklace, only to be flatly rejected.
After that, I gave up on raising his affection. From my perspective, that whole episode had been nothing more than a desperate scramble for survival — but the students of Soul Academy had interpreted it very differently.
Namely: Lucy Aln expressed interest in Jackal Burrow and was turned down.
"It spread widely among the young ladies at the time. It died out quickly afterward, since the two of you had no contact after that."
Hearing Joy's story made my head throb.
If a rumor like that was circulating, it changes everything. From the Scatterbrain's perspective, what she'd assumed was just a rumor must have seemed like the real deal.
The reason I never heard the rumor is obvious too. If it were true, bringing it up in front of me would mean poking a sore spot.
...No way, surely Jackal isn't laboring under the same misunderstanding too, is he?
Is that why he rejected me so furiously back then?
Did I confess to someone without even knowing it, and get shot down?!
I absolutely never intended to... okay, fine, I was trying to raise his favorability, but that is to say, that was. It. Um.
AAAAARGH!
I shouldn't have pried! Hearing that story put me in a dogcrap mood for no reason!
Maybe I should go ask Luka to wipe my memory.
"Judging by your reaction, I take it it was baseless gossip."
'Obviously!'
"You think a guy like that would measure up to someone as cute and beautiful as me, with skills to boot? Here, Scatterbrain. Want me to fix your glasses?"
"...My lady. Somewhere along the way, the word 'young lady' after your name seems to have disappeared."
Only half-listening to Joy, I turned the problem over in my head.
The rumor spread in the first place because Jackal was the only one I'd given a gift to.
In that case, I simply needed to start slowly distributing the gifts I'd prepared among the people around me.
I'd already bought presents for everyone's birthdays at the auction house anyway.
"My lady. You truly have no interest in him, right? Nothing happened between you two, right?"
Despite my having said it over and over, Joy tossed out the question like she was double-checking.
Seriously, why can't she just believe me?! Was the fact that I tried to give him a necklace really such an earth-shattering event?!
Fine! Fine, I get it! I'll just give you a present too, Joy!
Irritated, I pulled something out of my inventory and held it out to her.
"...This is?"
It was a necklace set with a red gem.
Store a trickle of mana inside it on ordinary days, and it would let you replenish your reserves in an emergency.
It had value as a piece of jewelry, true, but its practical purpose outweighed that by far.
Your birthday's coming up soon, isn't it? So...
"The Scatterbrain's birthday's coming up soon, no? I had it set aside for that, but you kept hounding me, so here. Happy now, you greedy little scatterbrain-scatterbrain?"
"...What?! No! That's not why I was asking!"
'Oh really?...'
"Oh? Then I can just take it back, can't I?"
Still miffed about how she'd flustered me earlier, I teased her a little, and Joy snatched the necklace away like her life depended on it.
"Y-you said it was a birthday present! You can't take it back now!"
Watching her clutch it tightly in both hands like it was a treasure, a laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it.
Well. Either way, as long as she liked the gift, that was what mattered.
After making my request to Duke Patran, I spent the better part of a month preparing for the visit to the Burrow family.
Most of it consisted of countermeasures for detecting anomalies, while a few were precautions for surviving in case the worst-case scenario came to pass.
For example:
Preparations against the black mage dwelling in one of the Burrow family's territories.
Contingencies for the dangers that could arise from the dungeons in the surrounding region.
And preparations against dangerous individuals who harbored ill intent toward the Burrow family.
Thanks to all this, I'd burned through nearly all the money I'd received as the reward for the Academy's first-ever clear.
Money can always be earned again later, sure, but watching hundreds of gold coins vanish in a blink still stung.
At least I managed to prepare so thoroughly that my inventory was packed to bursting, so I didn't regret it.
Outside of the preparations, I devoted my time to personal training.
Which is to say, my days went on exactly as usual.
I drilled myself relentlessly.
I practiced handling Divinity with Grandpa in Practice Mode while working to refine the technique I'd used against the Second Prince.
Whenever I found a spare moment, I visited Luka and raised my stats by overcoming his appropriately brutal trials.
I taught Joy, Arthur, and Frey every grind-heavy training method I knew, then put them through the wringer.
And I put Phoebe, who declared she wanted to join the training herself, through physical conditioning.
Oh, right. I also succeeded in defending my first-place spot in the midterm exams of the second semester.
Needless to say, it wasn't on my own merit. The practical portion aside, my written work still had plenty of rough patches.
And it wasn't with Grandpa's help either. He told me that unless it was a true emergency, I should solve things myself, so I didn't even dream of asking for his advice.
Then how did I manage to hold onto first place? I finally put the Log Function to proper use, that's how!
Mwahahaha. By having the exam scope recorded into the log right before the test, I successfully kept the record from being overwritten, then swaggered my way to an overwhelming score.
As a side note, second place was Arthur and third was Joy. I could swear I've been grinding Arthur so hard he'd have no time to breathe, let alone study — when did he do his written prep?
He really is a genius after all, that much I'll concede.
And recently, I handed down an assignment: pairing up Joy, Arthur, Frey, and Phoebe to clear the Academy Dungeon.
The reasoning being that they shouldn't lean on a walking cheat code like me forever.
The conditions were simple. Fully clear the Academy Dungeon before the end of the second semester.
Even a crusty veteran of Soul Academy could manage it on a first playthrough with a guide in hand.
The party composition was far too good for a second-semester freshman year, and with someone as capable as Arthur leading them, I fully expected this clear to proceed without a hitch — until an unexpected variable reared its head.
Namely: Frey began refusing to cooperate. Frey's particular brand of madness had lunged at my hands the moment I let go of the reins.
"But fighting the Prince is boring, though."
"...What you call boring, most people call the orthodox approach. Lady Kent."
"Either way, it's still boring, isn't it?"
It was plain as day that Arthur was swallowing down the anger boiling up inside him during this oh-so-earnest exchange with Frey, and I did nothing to help him.
A group project leader has to deal with a troll at least once, after all.
Arthur. Think of this as experience too. It's making you grow.
And your honest opinion?
'I'm not going down alone, am I?'
Feel every ounce of the suffering I've endured dragging Frey around, Arthur!
Then scream, just like the players of Soul Academy did, as you watch her troll!
You really are something else.
Then one day, amid this daily routine, word came from Duke Patran.
The preparations for the sick visit were finally complete, he said.
On the morning of the day Duke Patran had named, I finished my final preparations and stepped outside to review the members I'd assembled to root out the anomaly in the Burrow Ducal House.
"It's been a while since we've been out."
First up, the Face-Connoisseur Fox.
His perversion is so terminal that I never want him anywhere near me, but this one time, there was no helping it.
Among the members at my disposal, no one else is more versed in arcane arts and matters of the mind than this creature.
"I do hope we can be of service to Duke Burrow."
Next, Phoebe.
When it comes to divine magic, she remains in a league I can't touch, and she'd prove invaluable if the Burrow family's problem turned out to involve an evil god.
Honestly, I never expected to be able to bring Phoebe along. Whether the Church would give its blessing was anyone's guess.
Whether it was a judgment that incurring a debt from House Burrow would pay dividends, or whether my request to Johann had simply done the trick, I couldn't say — but either way, we got the approval.
Which meant I now had a rock-solid reinforcement.
"My lady? Might I... go home now?"
- That's right, Lady Aln. Are you really sure it's okay to stand next to a genuine Saintess? I'm scared I'm going to get purified!
'Whatever favor you—'
"Whatever favor was asked, you're the one who asked it, Attendant Lady. Backing out now?"
Third, Adri.
Her skill ranks among the upper echelon of every necromancer currently active on the continent.
Given that something tied to black magic was likely unfolding inside the Burrow Ducal estate, I judged she'd identify it on sight — hence her place in the party.
Which means she can't be sent home. It would be a problem if my black-magic detector fled on the day of the operation.
Vishy? Vishy came bundled in for the sole purpose of hauling Adri here. Without Vishy, Adri can't move.
"If you truly mean it, I won't stop you. But—"
I left the sentence hanging, and vehement agreement came flooding back from both the Vishy and Adri camps.
Ha. Honestly. How many times do I have to tell you that I already cleared things with Phoebe, so there's nothing to worry about?
See? I'm smiling at you right now, as a gesture of goodwill. She's a kind person, so don't freak out — just greet her politely. Got it?
"Vishy, was it? Well, you're here now, so there's nothing for it. Just do it. God knows what would happen to you if you earned that one's ire."
'Arthur?...'
"Pitiful Prince. And what, exactly, have I ever done to you? Ah. You're asking me to do something starting now, aren't you. With an instructor as slow-witted as yours, I suppose the slowness has rubbed off on me. Nothing to be done. As of next week, the training menu will be—"
"That was a joke! A joke! Don't try to kill a man over one remark!"
And finally, the last member.
Arthur.
With his personal rapport with Jackal, he'd serve as the perfect pretext for meeting the man.
With that, every preparation was complete.
All that remained was to head to the Burrow family and confirm the anomaly.
'Let's go.'
"Shall we be off, you losers?"
Part of me prayed it would turn out I'd simply made a mountain out of a molehill — that the Lame Chief God was just playing a petty prank on me.
...But that wasn't going to happen.
Just like it never had before.