How to Become the One in Charge (11)
'I'm sorry, what?'
"What?"
Even at my counter-question, the largest of the trio the Idiot Trio had so lovingly assembled stepped boldly forward, as if my words were beneath him.
Neither of the other two moved to stop him, so just like in the game, this guy was apparently their leader.
"I wish to formally request a trial by combat. For the gods grant victory to the righteous."
The moment those words left his mouth, my mind went completely white.
He was so absurd I couldn't summon a single response.
The gods grant victory to the righteous. Sure they do.
What a load of garbage.
Does that mean everyone who ever died to a monster was somehow more evil than the monster? If you died fighting an evil god, were you more evil than the evil god itself?
It was nonsense so laughable that not even a hollow chuckle would come out, but at least I understood now what kind of 'duel' he was talking about.
Trial by combat. The medieval practice of settling disputes where right and wrong couldn't be cleanly determined by having the two sides fight it out, with the victor's claim presumed just.
It was something that had actually been done in the Middle Ages, and there was one episode related to it in Soul Academy, which was why I knew of it at all.
But this is hardly the situation for it, is it?
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought so.
Mane, who had been desperately throwing out one explanation after another until a moment ago, stared blankly at the man before whirling his head toward me in urgent appeal.
"My lady. One moment. May I raise my voice?"
Mane's face had flushed a deep crimson. He was so heated that even standing before me he couldn't mask the expression of a demon possessed — and from that face, a trust bloomed in me that he would say everything I wanted to say on my behalf.
So I nodded, and as if he'd been waiting for exactly that, Mane planted himself in front of the man.
"Rab. Are you seriously proposing a trial by combat against Lady Alne right now?"
"I am."
"Are you fuc— no. Do you actually think that would work?"
"Why wouldn't it?"
"Because it wouldn't! Obviously!"
A trial by combat wasn't something that could be invoked at any time. If it were, you'd end up with the logic that the strong could do whatever they pleased.
"A trial by combat is only permissible when right and wrong cannot be clearly determined!"
When wrongdoing needed to be punished, the law had to come first. Trial by combat was the recourse when the law itself couldn't untangle a situation — nobody dragged out a duel when the law could settle guilt just fine.
"Isn't that exactly the case right now?"
"What?!"
"You think I'd go insane and pull a prank on my lady? I've never done any such thing."
"You said it yourself, with your own mouth!"
"Did I? I don't recall. In any case, you're asserting guilt with no evidence whatsoever — isn't right and wrong rather ambiguous here?"
"You insa— what about the difference in station, huh?!"
"Doesn't the Academy hold everyone equal within its gates?"
"No. No. No, you... you're genuinely out of your mind, aren't you?! If you pull a stunt like this, it's not just your neck on the line! We all go down together, you understand?!..."
Finally, unable to contain the fury boiling out of him, Mane seized the man by the collar — but the man caught his wrist with one hand and gave it a slight twist, brushing him aside like a nuisance.
The son of a merchant and a mage to boot, Mane couldn't even be a proper obstacle to him.
"Lady of House Alne. I await your answer."
I looked up at the man looming over me and thought.
There was no reason to entertain a word this fool said. Hand him over to the courts, and every one of his crimes would come to light immediately.
⟨ Hold a moment, young one. ⟩
I was in the middle of concluding that this guy had clearly lost his mind when Grandpa's voice suddenly cut in.
'What is it, Grandpa? Weren't you telling me to handle things myself?'
⟨ Don't you find his posture far too confident? ⟩
'Because he knows he's cooked if things proceed normally, so he's trying to drag this into a trial by combat.'
By any means necessary, if a trial by combat could be made to stand, then the verdict on his guilt would rest on the outcome of the duel itself. That was what this man was after. He was poking at my pride to goad me into accepting the duel — because he believed that was the only way he'd survive.
⟨ Nonsense. The moment a duel is established, this man is finished regardless of who wins. ⟩
'...Sorry, what?'
⟨ Do you imagine the other nobles would simply stand by while a commoner threatens a noble house? ⟩
If he lost to me, his guilt would be confirmed, and the crime of insolence toward nobility would be heaped on top of it — total ruin, of course.
But even if he won against me, the ending wouldn't change. The other nobles would never tolerate such a precedent being set.
'Maybe he just doesn't know that?'
⟨ How could he not? He was the one who first brought up the words 'trial by combat.' ⟩
Grandpa surmised that the Idiot Trio's leader had something — or someone — to lean on. Otherwise, there was no way he'd declare his own suicide with such towering confidence.
⟨ It may even be that this backer of his is the one who egged him into provoking you. ⟩
So that's what this is. Hmm.
⟨ Do you understand? The threat aimed at you right now is... ⟩
'Grandpa.'
⟨ What. ⟩
'So what am I supposed to do?'
Just tell me that part, please.
Trying to think and act on my own was already giving me a splitting headache, and now with all these threads tangling together on top of it, my skull felt ready to crack open.
I'm overheating, okay! At this rate, I won't die from some evil god's dirty tricks — my brain's just going to explode!
Grandpa stopped mid-explanation, heaved a long sigh, and spoke in a low voice.
⟨ You must learn who stands behind that man. ⟩
'And then?'
⟨ There are many methods. First— ⟩
'Grandpa?'
When I cut him off, Grandpa practically shouted.
⟨ Fine! I get it, I get it! If you intend to deal with only the ringleaders, hand the list of their names to Luka! If it's him, he'll clean them up neatly without your lifting a finger! ⟩
'You could've just said that from the start. Thanks anyway.'
⟨ ...Haah. ⟩
With the problem in my head now solved, all that remained was executing Grandpa's advice.
First, get the name of the man's backer out of the Idiot Trio's leader, right?
Easier said than done. Even an idiot wouldn't blab about the person shielding his back — he'd protect that name to the very end.
But I had a way.
What seals a person's lips is their reason.
Which means that if reason takes flight, an unlocked mouth will blabber all on its own.
I looked up into the eyes of the Idiot Trio's leader as he gazed down at me.
Full of confidence. Eyes utterly certain that nothing bad would ever happen to him.
Unhappy with the geometry of our gazes, I rose from my seat — yet the leader of the idiots was still looking down at me from above.
So there really is a limit to how high I can raise my line of sight, huh.
Oh well. If I can't raise mine, I'll just have to lower his.
"If you have made your decisi—"
I drove my fist straight into the idiot leader's solar plexus mid-sentence.
Through the cleanly buried knuckles, I felt something give way with a crunch.
Don't tell me that was a rib. No way, right. The guy's a second-year at the Academy — he can't be taken out by something this flimsy.
There must've been something stored in there. Like snacks.
The idiot leader clutched his chest, breath hitching to a stop, and pitched forward. Watching him buckle, I finally allowed myself a moment of satisfaction, then turned my head toward Mane.
"Door's locked."
Already? I didn't even say anything, and you read my exact wish! I love how sharp you are!
Rewarding him with a smile for a job well done, I kicked the idiot leader square in the face.
A body twice my size rolled across the floor like a boulder and slammed into the wall.
"My lady?! What on earth—"
"He asked for a duel, so we're dueling? Is there a problem?"
If there had been one, I'd have happily heard it, but the man didn't open his mouth again.
Instead — if you could call it that — the fallen idiot leader dragged himself upright, swaying, and found his voice.
"Th-that's... cowardly..."
"Cowardly? Are you being serious right now? You picked a fight with a cute, dainty little girl barely up to your chest, and I'm the coward?♡ Pffht♡ Pfft♡ PWAHAHAHA♡"
The moment his naked hostility hit me, euphoria surged up my spine, and laughter burst out right on its heels.
"Hey, hey, so what's 'honorable' then?♡ Bullying a kid?♡ Starting the fight yourself and then crying victim?♡ Posturing big and getting beat down while you sob?♡"
I recited everything he'd done up to this point, garnished with mockery, and the tendons in his neck bulged.
"Shut up!..."
"By your logic, that makes you the purest little piece of trash, doesn't it?♡ If the Heojeop Chief God is trash like you, He can live in heaven's garbage bin with a clear conscience!♡"
Still not enough. His reason hadn't flown away completely. Like this, there was no telling whether that flapping mouth of his might still slam shut.
A proper interrogation demanded more.
"I'm sooo jealous♡ How does one become a piece of trash like you?♡ Hmmmm~♡"
"..."
"Oh no, can't be done. I just don't have your revolting face~♡ So THIS is what talent means?! Pfft. Kgh. Truly, truly magnificent!♡"
I clapped as though offering my sincerest admiration, laughing all the while, and the idiot leader clenched his mouth shut.
Even so, I could read his thoughts perfectly.
The tendons straining across his forehead. The bloodshot face glaring daggers at me. The fists trembling with rage.
They all meant one thing.
"Angry?♡ You're angry, aren't you?♡ So what are you gonna do about it?♡ What can a pathetic, insignificant pebble of a commoner like you even do?♡"
"What can I DO?!"
"Oh!♡ Right, you can daydream♡ Holed up at home, sniveling while you imagine yourself winning!♡"
"I'll show you myself, you witch!"
Watching him charge at me with his eyes rolled back in his skull, I felt certain I'd blasted his reason away thoroughly enough.
I slipped lightly past the fist he'd thrown without a single thought behind it, seized the wrist, and hurled him into the wall once more.
CRASH! — and the idiot leader hit the floor headfirst.
But it was fine. He wouldn't pass out from just that.
See? Even staggering, he dragged himself up and glared at me like I was his sworn enemy.
Now then — time to grind that fragile little ego of his underfoot.
To make him say it with his own mouth. How magnificent he believed himself to be. And just who it was that acknowledged him.
"You're a genuinely pathetic loser♡ And with THAT level of skill, you asked for a duel?♡ Aren't you embarrassed?♡ Don't you have any self-respect?♡ Oh — or did you deliberately apply for the duel because you wanted to get beat?♡ What a disgusting masochist pervert♡ Just bite your tongue and die already♡"