Menesteil (1)
…Lucy. I'm sorry, what did you just call me?
"Were your ears broken, stupid Papa?♡ Are you such a stingy Papa that you can't even do this for me? That makes you a pathetic Papa, you know?♡"
Khhk—!
Benedict let out a sound like a man taking a mortal wound, and then lapsed into silence for a very long time.
…Stupid Papa♡…?
Wondering if something had gone wrong with the crystal orb, I called out to him again—only to receive a voice so utterly melted and boneless that it seemed ready to dissolve on the spot.
Hold on, Benedict. Not two minutes ago you were lecturing me like a strict patriarch. And a single 'Papa' made you flip your entire stance?
Is this real?! I know you're a daughter-doting fool, but there are limits!
Th-that is… ahem. Lucy. Why are you suddenly calling me Papa?
"Why?♡ I just felt like calling you stupid Papa, that's all?♡ Got a problem with that?♡"
No no no no no. That's not what I meant. Of course I'm overjoyed if our Lucy calls me Papa. Incredibly happy, in fact.
Benedict's voice had turned absolutely desperate. It seemed the title of 'Papa' was something he simply could not afford to lose.
How fascinating. I'd assumed this whole 'Papa' business was a trap the Pathetic Chief God had laid out for me. A trap to force the word 'Papa' past my lips.
Given Benedict's love for his daughter, I figured he'd be pleased, sure—but that would be the extent of it. No real tactical value.
And yet, lo and behold. Faced with the title of 'Papa,' Benedict had become a blathering idiot incapable of doing anything at all.
O Armadi! Were you watching all the way from the heavens and feeding me these tips?!
Ah, of course. You were watching through these humble lamb's unworthy eyes all along!
Armen! I believe in the power of the great Chief God!
I was busy singing silent praises to the wise Armadi when Benedict, shuffling nervously beyond the crystal orb, spoke up again.
But Lucy… you haven't called me Papa since you were a little child, you know.
Ah-ha. So that's why Benedict is so weak to the word 'Papa'—little Lucy used to call him that when she was young.
The memories came flooding back and left him helpless. Benedict is a daughter-fool among daughter-fools, after all.
"Does that matter right now, stupid Papa?♡"
W-well, that's…
"If you don't send me, I'll never call you Papa again."
Now, hold on—
"I won't even call you 'stupid father' anymore. I'll just call you a dumb troll."
A dumb troll?! …No. Be that as it may, Menesteil is simply too dangerous, Lucy. Please, I beg you.
"Hmph. I hate you, stupid Papa, a~bsolutely hate you♡ You reek of old man and it's gross♡ Your voice is creepy too♡ Even if it's just because I hate having a troll-faced Papa, I'm never coming back to the family estate♡"
Lucyyy… please, just hear me out…
Benedict tried every possible angle to talk me out of it, but before the title of 'Papa,' he was powerless.
Time and again he would put on a stern front, only to melt the instant I deployed the Papa card—until he had no choice but to grant me permission to go to Menesteil.
In disputes like this, the one who cares more is always doomed to lose. That's simply how it works.
The one condition he set: I was to keep my sword at my side at all times.
Given that I planned to carry it everywhere anyway just to deal with the scheming of that pathetic evil god, the condition was no penalty whatsoever.
Watching Benedict sink into gloom after granting permission for something he should never have allowed, I did feel a twinge of guilt, honestly.
Sorry, Benedict. But if I don't do this, the Pathetic Chief God is going to torment me.
It's also about resolving one of the great threats that will eventually sweep across the continent, so please understand.
Don't worry about me. Would a diehard veteran of Soul Academy like me possibly go wrong in a dungeon?
I'll wrap things up quickly and come back with a present just for you.
Several days passed from that night, until the first day of vacation finally arrived.
While the academy's students scattered to their respective destinations, my footsteps led me to a back alley of Academy Street.
"Welcome, Lady Aln."
Alsaetin. Are you ready?
"You're not some pathetic hack who failed to get even one of the things I ordered, are you?"
"Of course not. Please, see for yourself."
True to his confident words, Alsaetin had prepared everything I'd requested flawlessly.
Excellent. With this, I can handle whatever variables pop up while clearing the Menesteil Dungeon.
Good work.
"You tried harder than your average back-alley hack. Impressive."
"It concerns my master, after all. I must give it my all."
Alsaetin answered with a deliberately solemn expression.
I had told him beforehand that I would pay his fee in advance, today.
Since I was heading to the Menesteil Dungeon anyway, I figured I'd deal with his problem while I was at it.
Alsaetin had rejoiced at my words, but he had also hesitated—it seemed his conscience was troubling him over the fact that he hadn't yet repaid the worth of the information I'd given him.
So I simply told him: consider it payment up front. Right here.
"Thank you so very much, Lady Aln! I swear I will repay this debt!"
Alsaetin leapt for joy at the prospect of finally settling his long-cherished wish.
I do hope that gratitude of his doesn't waver once everything is actually resolved.
With every preparation confirmed, Alsaetin, Karl, and I stood before the teleportation circle, sword in tow.
Haah… So the day would come when I'd have to use this thing again.
I had sworn never to touch this spell again after the incident at the Newman estate, but this once, there was no helping it.
Menesteil was simply too far to reach by road. The round trip alone would take close to a month, and I couldn't afford to waste that much time.
As unpleasant as it is, using this circle is the best option right now. Endure it, Lucy. Endure.
Steeling my resolve, I set my foot onto the glowing teleportation circle—and regretted it almost immediately.
"Uueeeegh."
The dizziness hit like a full month of carriage sickness compressed into a single moment, and I collapsed, utterly unable to keep my body upright.
Uuugh. I thought I'd grown so much compared to before, and I'm still like this?
When, oh when, will I be able to wear the same serene face Karl does?
"Shall I help you?"
The Horny Fox, who had come through after me, padded over to where I lay trying to settle my stomach and spoke up.
You'll help? You can actually fix motion sickness?
Too drained to speak, I merely nodded, and the Face-Connoisseur Fox pressed her soft paw against the spot between my brows.
It's wonderfully soft, sure, but is this really going to do anyth—
Huh? The dizziness is… gone?
What is this?!
So even a perverted degenerate hack fox is still a Lord of the Forest after all?!
"Tch. Using power tires me out. I'll be borrowing your head for a while."
Having cured my motion sickness, the Horny Fox trudged up onto my head and settled into a spot, but I didn't stop her.
She's the reason I'm functional again, after all. Providing a place to rest is the least I can do.
Thanks to the Horny Fox, I recovered my senses, stepped outside the building, and took in the streets of Menesteil.
Being a city under the Magic Empire, I suppose it makes sense—there were quite a few things that set it apart from the kingdom.
For instance, most of Menesteil's buildings were lower than their counterparts back home.
With territory that vast, there was simply no need to build upward. When land is the one thing you have in abundance, why economize on it?
And once I pulled my eyes from the buildings, enchanted goods of every variety caught my attention.
True to its name, the Magic Empire possessed magical technology far beyond any other nation.
And because of that, even the common folk here enjoyed the blessings known as 'technology' more freely than people anywhere else.
There were plenty of other small differences too, but those were the most eye-catching.
Seeing a landscape I'd only ever known through a screen in the flesh did raise my spirits a little—just not as much as when I'd first seen the streets around Soul Academy.
Which made sense. From the perspective of a gamer who'd played Soul Academy, this place was a side path.
No matter how grand or sprawling it might be, it simply didn't stir much in me.
The sunset-lit streets were pretty, but that was about it.
"It's gotten rather late already. I'd say securing lodging should be our first priority."
Watching the sky slowly darken, Karl offered the sensible opinion.
Under normal circumstances, he would have been right. Wherever you go, finding a place to sleep comes first.
But my case was the exception. You see, I had one trump card to rely on.
Nope. Before that…
"Hack. I decide the itinerary. First stop: the Adventurers' Guild."
It was true that the Menesteil Dungeon was open to everyone, but you couldn't just waltz inside.
If people could sneak in and sneak out as they pleased, how would anyone collect the taxes?
So anyone who wished to enter the Menesteil Dungeon had to stop by the Adventurers' Guild and obtain a certificate first.
Nobles of the Magic Empire could get an exemption—but sadly, I was a noble of the kingdom. I could pull some strings to speed up the paperwork, but that would be the extent of it.
"But my lady, if we cannot find lodging…"
It's fine.
"Hey. Hack. You're talking back to your master while being a literal dog? How bold of you."
"Sir Knight. The Lady has clearly thought this through. Do not worry."
Unlike Karl, Alsaetin seemed to have a fair guess as to my reasoning, and he came to my defense.
Perhaps jealous that this man had read my intentions faster than his own knight, Karl glared at Alsaetin for a moment—then abruptly changed his tune, shamelessly declaring that he'd known all along and had only spoken up out of courtesy.
Pfft. What is with that? He can't afford to lose when it comes to loyalty? Genuinely hilarious.
Messing up once or twice doesn't change the fact that you're my knight, you know. Idiot Karl.
Anyway, you're done objecting, right? Then let's head to the Adventurers' Guild.
The guild's processing out here is notoriously slow, so if I want to enter the dungeon tomorrow, I need to submit my certificate application a day in advance.
Though the streets were entirely new to my eyes, my steps never wavered.
After all, there is no street in this world whose layout I don't know.
When you're building the shortest possible route for a speedrun, this much is mandatory.
Thanks to that, I reached the Adventurers' Guild without the slightest difficulty.
Perhaps because it was sundown, the guild hall was bustling.
There were people straining to squeeze out a little extra pay for the day's work.
People begging to have their commission deadlines extended by just one more day.
People drinking and swapping frank stories with their party members.
People maintaining their equipment.
People wheedling the guild staff to appraise their haul of loot a little higher.
Everyone was wrapping up their day after a dungeon run, closing out the hours.
But all of those little daily routines froze for a beat the moment I pushed open the door and stepped inside.
Every gaze in the room fixed itself on me.
Tch. Must be because they're uncivilized brutes—even their staring is distasteful.
…I'm sorry, what?
Having grown accustomed to people's stares through academy life, I was perfectly unbothered by them.
But the others were not.
Halbae made no attempt to hide his open disgust.
Karl frowned and stepped forward, shielding me from the crowd's eyes with his own body.
And Alsaetin, from the rear, glared daggers at everyone and shot them a silent warning.
I can't say for certain, but judging by how hypersensitive they're all being, these looks probably aren't the friendly kind either.
Most likely the ill-intentioned flavor of curiosity.
You pedophile freaks. Does seeing a girl whose chest is barely there really stir something dark in you?
My Charm stat really must be high, huh. The moment I showed my face in the guild, all eyes snapped to me.
But hey, listen up. Now that my Charm stat has been empirically verified, one more fact has been proven beyond doubt.
Just how much of a dumpster fire is my Reputation stat?!
How far into the negative has it plunged that even a Charm stat this sky-high does absolutely nothing for me at the academy?! Goddamn it!
"You perverts really are the worst."
As I was lamenting my despair-inducing reality, the Horny Fox perched on my head spat out a single remark.
She's not wrong. That is absolutely not wrong.
But Horny Fox—you, the degenerate pervert who used to moan in bliss while being stepped on by my feet—you don't exactly get to say that, do you?
Does your conscience not sting? Huh?!