The Mesugaki Is Not Alone (3)
Watching Joy dine with an aristocratic elegance that would have earned applause from any etiquette instructor, while Phoebe moved her hands beside her with immaculate grace and a faint, composed smile, I couldn't stop the smile from creeping across my own face.
Thank goodness for the Mesugaki Skill.
If it weren't for that, right now I'd definitely be wearing the kind of creepy grin you'd expect from some gross middle-aged man.
I've always wanted to eat together with other people, you know.
Eating all alone with nobody to talk to is insanely lonely!
At home, sure, I can get away with it!
But sitting by yourself at a table while all the kids from your classes laugh and chat with their friends all around you? The relative deprivation is crushing!
At least it was for me!
If it weren't for being able to chatter away with Grandpa inside my head, I'd have died of loneliness like a bunny rabbit!
And yet here I was, in this very moment, living out my dream of sharing a meal with someone else at the Academy.
And not just anyone, either.
Joy — the answer that sprang instantly to mind whenever anyone asked who the best character in Soul Academy was. And Phoebe, whose sheer performance made her a must-pick in every challenge run, until the affection I felt for her grew all on its own.
And here I was, eating with the two of them.
How could I possibly not be happy!
Ahh. Just watching the two of them talk while they eat leaves me feeling full already.
So this is what a mother's heart feels like.
Paradise. Pure paradise.
"Hoh. Good for you, child."
'I know, right? The two of them are actually eating with me. I'm so happy.'
"...Mm. I meant that in the political sense, but if you're happy, I suppose that's what matters."
'Political sense?'
Listening to Grandpa, I turned it over in my head — and the meaning clicked into place.
Until a moment ago I'd been drowning in a dreamlike fantasy of sharing a meal with the two of them, one I never wanted to wake from. But once I cleared my head, the answer came easily.
Joy and Phoebe were close friends. That was a publicly acknowledged fact that everyone knew — the two of them had been inseparable since they were very young.
Which meant that if I had truly been bullying Phoebe, the person who would react most keenly to it was Joy.
Of course, Joy was close to me as well, and she owed me a debt or two, so she couldn't exactly come at me aggressively.
But if I had genuinely tormented Phoebe, she wouldn't have come over to sit and eat with us.
Joy being an airhead was a fact, but she was also someone who did what needed doing when it counted.
In other words, the fact that Joy had come over of her own accord and joined us for this meal meant that she — Joy, the treasured daughter of Ducal House Patran — was personally vouching that there was no trouble whatsoever between Phoebe and me.
When I laid out everything that had occurred to me and explained it to Grandpa, he let out a low chuckle.
"Hoh-ho. Your instincts are sharpening a little, I see."
'All thanks to you, Grandpa.'
Every time something happened, he'd had something to teach me, and listening to him all this time, it had naturally rubbed off.
When I praised him so smoothly, Grandpa laughed in evident good humor.
'Joy must have planned this too, right?'
"I'd hardly think otherwise. Airheaded as she is, she's still the daughter of a ducal house."
'That's impressive.'
After seeing nothing but her scatterbrained, careless side, catching a glimpse of the true ducal heir in her drew a genuine gasp of admiration out of me.
Right. Unlike me, with not even a shred of proper noble education, Joy was born into a ducal house and raised as its daughter.
Someone who stands at the center of the social season's young ladies would never have done something like this without thinking it through.
'I should thank her properly.'
Thanks to Joy going out of her way to make this move, a good portion of the ugly rumors about me would die down on their own.
Unlike me — whose reputation had cratered into the abyss, leaving me with practically no influence inside the Academy — Joy still stood at the center of countless young ladies.
And with Joy openly denying the rumors like that, anyone who sputtered objections without reading the room?
They'd get lynched by a whole pack of formidable young ladies. Just like what happened to me in front of the infirmary.
I got through it by force since I had nothing to lose, but not everyone can do that.
Who knows what nasty treatment awaits anyone who charges in headfirst like that.
From what I saw in the game, noble daughters' bullying is extremely insidious.
'I'll have to get her some kind of gift later.'
Thanks to the Mesugaki Skill, I can't actually say thank you — but I can give things, you see?
So instead of words, I'd express my gratitude with a present.
Saying it like that makes me sound like some gruff, taciturn old man, doesn't it. "Hmph! Found it on the side of the road!" — that kind of vibe.
Come to think of it, I was planning to stop by the auction house during the break anyway.
Let's buy Joy's gift then.
Now that I thought about it, though, there didn't seem to be just one or two things on the list. Weren't there quite a few people I owed gifts to?
One for Karl,
one for Arthur, which I'd already resolved to give,
something for Benedict too, since I'd worried him half to death,
and something spread around for the Alrn house knights as well.
The more I sat there tallying it up, the more my brow creased.
Add in what I'd need for myself, and that was going to take a decent amount of money. No — quite a lot of it.
"Lady Alrn? What could you be pondering so deeply?"
I was still frowning over the thought of it when Joy spoke up.
The worry visible between those slightly blank eyes of hers made all the tangled thoughts in my head melt softly away.
Worries can wait.
What matters is enjoying this moment!
Tomorrow I'll probably be eating alone again — I can't waste this happy time on pointless worries!
'Oh, it's nothing.'
"Don't worry about it. I was just thinking that Airhead Lady even manages to eat like an airhead, that's all."
"...And which part of me, exactly, is being an airhead? I was eating in perfect accordance with proper etiquette, you know."
'That's right. Which part of her could possibly be airheaded, hmm?'
"You don't even know that? Puahaha. That's exactly why I call you Airhead Lady. Because you're an airhead, duh."
"So I ask again — which part is the problem?!"
Joy raised her voice as if she simply could not accept the accusation of being an airhead — but that only served to stoke my devious little heart.
She looked so adorable doing it that the urge to tease her came bubbling up all on its own.
"Can't even be bothered to figure it out for yourself?♡ Spoiled little lady♡ How long are you planning to live wrapped up in Mommy's arms?♡ So utterly pathetic♡"
"I am not—!"
"Pfft."
At the sight of Joy in full airhead mode, even Phoebe — who had been desperately holding back her laughter this whole time — finally lost the battle and burst out laughing.
Joy shot her eyes up at that, but Phoebe no longer seemed to have any attention to spare for her, devoting herself entirely to fighting down her giggles.
Had the sound of Phoebe's suppressed snickering gotten under her skin? A crease formed between Joy's brows.
"I demand to know which part of my flawless etiquette is the problem!"
"If you're incompetent, then at least try?♡ Go figure out what's wrong on your own, airheeeead Lady♡"
"Uuuugh..."
Watching her bite down hard on her lip, let out a strangled noise, and belatedly hide her face behind her fan, the laughter spilled right out of me.
This is definitely all the Mesugaki Skill's fault.
There's no way I'm the kind of person who enjoys tormenting people for no reason, after all.
Thanks to the rumor that I'd been bullying Phoebe, I'd ended up having a meal with her and Joy both, and I made my way toward the faculty offices feeling lighter than air.
Ah. Even now, just remembering Joy getting angry is so much fun.
I don't know who spread that rumor, but I ought to send them my thanks.
Of course, that's one thing — forgiving them is quite another.
There's no way in hell I'm forgiving a rumor someone spread out of pure malice, is there?
The moment you fall into my hands, I'll teach you exactly what the Mesugaki's True Vital-Point Demolition Course looks like — so look forward to it.
I walked along, musing over exactly what sort of torment my victim might enjoy best, and before I knew it, the faculty offices where the Combat Studies professors kept themselves had come into view.
The reason I'd come here was what I'd heard back when I spoke with Phoebe.
Rumors connected to Nakrad. A man in black robes who traded information.
Dangling the promise of telling people what they wanted to hear, he must have made bargains with a number of Academy students — and planted darkness inside each of them.
Just as he had with Phoebe.
That darkness would unquestionably be put to some ugly use down the line, so it needed to be rooted out in advance.
Under normal circumstances, it would be best for Phoebe to report this herself, but how could I possibly tell a girl in her current fragile mental state that the power of an evil god had been dwelling inside her?
So it has to be me who moves.
"What brings you here, my lady?"
The moment I opened the door and set foot inside, Karl's voice drifted over from beside me.
'Um, Karl?'
"Hey. Scrub."
"Yes, my lady. What is it?"
'How...'
"How did you know I was coming here?"
"Nothing to it, my lady. I sensed your presence approaching down the corridor."
So while he was in the middle of working, he picked up on it and stationed himself there in advance?
What a pointlessly impressive technique.
I couldn't help but marvel at a feat of skill I couldn't even dream of attempting in my current state — though remembering that the one performing it was Karl did rather sour the admiration...
"Creeped out."
I mean, come on — the guy's the type to track my movements with that ability of his. All while wrapping himself in the flimsy excuse that a knight must remain at his lord's side.
Having received the full force of my genuine, unfiltered disgust — the kind not even the Mesugaki Skill could warp — Karl staggered backward wearing the expression of a man watching his world collapse, and retreated.
For a moment, I thought I saw a deflated little puppy in that shell-shocked face, but I wasn't fooled.
I'm definitely asking him later what he's been using that trick for. I'd bet good money he's wasted it on something completely useless.
Having successfully repelled Karl, I made my way over to Anton, who stood at the center of the faculty office.
Anton, who had taken a liking to me ever since the Field Trip ended, greeted me with a warm smile.
"What can I do for you, Lady Alrn?"
'I've come because there's something I need to tell you.'
"Obviously you came because you've got something to say. Piss-ant professor."
I explained to Anton everything that had spread through the Academy — the rumors, and everything about Nakrad.
On paper it sounded like empty, far-fetched delusion, but Anton listened to every word with grave attention.
Which was only natural. The one delivering the report was me!
I was the one who single-handedly drove off the Apostle of the Evil God that had attacked Academy Street, and the one who had shut down the Apostle's dog-like scheming against Phoebe afterward.
With actual credentials against an Apostle of the Evil God to my name, my word carried weight.
"I see. So the Apostle of the Evil God may well have planted his mana inside the Academy's students."
'Exactly right. Which means...'
"Pretty quick on the uptake, for a piss-ant professor. Exactly. Those idiot side characters won't even realize they've done something stupid, so we need a full sweep of everyone."
Nakrad served the Evil God of Darkness, which meant the mana he planted carried that evil god's own traits — insidious, and dreadfully hard to ferret out.
Which was precisely why we needed to cooperate with the Church, hunt down everyone carrying that darkness, and purify them.
When I explained all of this, Anton gave a slow nod.
"Understood, my lady. I shall open talks with the Church at once."
'You really, really will do that, won't you?'
"Listen here, piss-ant professor. Let it go in one ear and out the other, and I'll pluck out every last one of your whiskers."
"Haha, worry not, my lady. With your guard dog standing right beside you, how could I possibly?"
Good. Then with that, the business inside the Academy is more or less settled.
Just picturing Nakrad's face, scowling as the trap he'd so carefully laid got demolished, put me in an excellent mood.
He wouldn't be able to pull any stunts during the final exams either, so I could afford to take it easy for a while.
I should ask Joy to study with me!