Tormenting the Pathetic Lanky Scrub (2)

The academy holiday had arrived in the wake of the Field Trip's end, and my plans for it were already set in stone.

Training. Then sparring.

My head insisted that taking a day or two off couldn't hurt, but every time I actually tried to rest, my body itched with restlessness until I couldn't stand it anymore.

After months of rolling myself into the ground day in and day out, it seemed the grinding had simply become my way of life.

— Ring.

I was running at my usual pace when the familiar chime of a window popping up made me glance aside.

The moment I read the quest, I skidded to a halt mid-sprint.

What is this? Go to the Church of the Chief God? Faced with a quest that seemed to carry no purpose or meaning whatsoever, I tilted my head.

Hmm. Well, it's offering a reward, so I'll go — but why the sudden summons? Did something happen at the church?

"What... is it?..."

At the voice behind me, I turned to find Frey panting for breath, and Joy sprawled flat on the ground despite how little time had passed.

I just remembered something I forgot.

"Remembered some chore I'd been putting off because it was pathetic and pointless."

A trip to the Church of the Chief God wasn't going to take long anyway. I told the two of them to rest up for a bit, left them where they lay, and slipped out of the training grounds.

"Aah, little Lucy. Even the scent of your sweat carries a certain charm."

The instant I stepped outside, the Face-Connoisseur Fox — who had apparently been watching for me from somewhere — materialized in front of me and spewed her revolting drivel.

Haha. Is that your strategy? Making me so disgusted that I'll be too repulsed to ever touch you?

Trying to gross me out so I'll leave you alone? Sorry, but if that's the plan, it's a failure! Even a perverted expression on an adorable baby fox's face just comes off as cute.

Come to think of it, the fox did say she ended up in this form because ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my power was too weak, didn't she?

So when I get stronger later, she'll turn into something closer to what I saw in the forest?

Ugh. No thanks. Can't you just stay a baby fox forever?

"And where might you be off to?"

The church.

"And what business is that of yours, pathetic face-con fox?"

"I was merely about to ask whether I might accompany you."

The rest of it went unsaid, but I knew exactly what the fox was after. One look at that face — a blend of innocence and sleaze — and there was no mistaking it.

She'd just complimented my sweat, so obviously she intended to trail along and sniff it up close.

You pervert. Your taste is genuinely repulsive.

And yet this same creature bolts away in embarrassment the moment I try to touch her fur. What's the logic there?

If you're going to be a pervert, shouldn't you enjoy that part too?! Why are you so pathetic in precisely the places that matter!

"May I come, then?"

Do as you like.

"Suit yourself. Not my problem."

Delighted by my answer, the fox toddled over on her tiny feet and planted herself at my side.

Not right next to me, of course. She kept just enough distance that she could bolt if I ever tried to snatch her up.

Haah. God, what a hopeless little scrub of a fox.

Looking at you two like this, I honestly can't tell who the pervert is.

...How is loving a tiny animal perverted, exactly? That's just basic human instinct, Grandpa. Your slander is getting out of hand. Especially coming from someone who admits the fox is cute.

If you say so, I suppose that's how it is.

Finish your sentence, Grandfather. Go on. Say the whole thing.

Say that depending on the answer, you might have to resurrect the Academy Trash-Tour that we'd shelved for a while. I dare you.

Bickering with Grandpa all the while, I stepped outside the academy and immediately sensed that something about the street's atmosphere was off.

What's going on? Why is everyone whispering like that? And why are the academy's professors and guards glaring around with bloodshot eyes?

Did ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠something happen while I was training inside? Because as far as the game's storyline goes, nothing should be happening at this point.

Unable to make sense of the situation, I grabbed the first passing professor I could find.

"Lady Alrn. What brings you here?"

Did something happen?

"Scrub professor. Less small talk, more telling me what's going on."

"Well, you see..."

The moment his explanation ended, I broke into a dead sprint toward the church.

Nakrad attacked Phoebe on Academy Street and fled?! What kind of lunacy was that?!

It wasn't strictly impossible, I supposed. Nakrad was the Apostle of Tariki, the Evil God of Darkness. If nothing else, no one could match him at hiding.

Unless it was somewhere like inside the academy — a place that barred intrusion at the source — stopping him was all but impossible.

And that was true even now, with plenty of time remaining before the Evil Gods could truly resurrect. But his other abilities were another matter entirely.

Apostle of an Evil God or not, no one excels in every single field.

Especially knocking out ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Phoebe — practically his elemental counter — with a single touch of a finger. That was absolutely impossible at this stage.

Which meant something had happened that I knew nothing about! Aaagh! You damned variable! Would it kill the world to play out like a game for once?!

By the time I reached the church district, I could feel the commotion thickening the air around it.

Crowds from Academy Street stood staring anxiously at the church doors, and several people working for the Church of the Chief God blocked the entrance.

With the unprecedented crisis of an Evil God's Apostle attacking their Saintess, they had naturally clamped down on all outside visitors.

Tch. This just got annoying.

Step aside, please.

"Scrubs. Move. Your skin brushing against mine is upsetting."

Lucy's infamous reputation held just as much power here as anywhere else.

The merchants doing business with academy students naturally knew every rumor circulating among them, and they remembered my face well enough — one of their most avoided regulars.

The moment one of them shouted, Lady Alrn?! It's Lady Alrn!, a path opened through the crowd — but even so, the church doors did not.

The priests of the church, who had suffered through their encounters with me before, stood their ground firmly at the door instead of fleeing.

"I'm sorry, Lady Alrn. The church is off-limits to anyone unaffiliated at the moment."

"Dick-tier priest♡ Are your eyes just decorative?♡ A cripple who can't even see what's right in front of his face♡ Honestly, it's so pathetic it's funny♡"

When I held up my cross necklace, the priest's face twisted in embarrassment.

As far as the Church of the Chief God was concerned, calling me an outsider was difficult, to say the least.

I had violated the Curse of Agra not once but twice, proving that I could hear the voice of God. How exactly was I an outsider?

And another thing — I formally became a registered believer of the Church of the Chief God through Phoebe's prayer, didn't I? That me, an outsider? Are you serious right now? Hmm?

"However—"

Will you step aside?♡ You're in my way♡

My provocations turned the priest's face red, but he still refused to budge.

Haah. Just move out of the way like a good boy, would you? I'm here to save your precious Saintess.

I'm not doing a single thing to hurt you people, so why do you have to be so obnoxious about it? Honestly.

When I tried to force my way in, the priests moved to block me. But it was hopeless.

However rigorously they'd been trained as clergy, they were still nothing more than clergy.

The men who moved to stop me failed to withstand my strength and collapsed to the floor like sheets of paper.

"Scrubs getting steamrolled by a girl♡ Useless little dicks♡ Stay squashed down there♡ It's what you deserve♡"

"Lady Alrn?!"

As I pushed into the church, I spoke to Grandpa.

I'd been in and out of this place a few times, but I still didn't know its layout, did I? Naturally, I had no idea where Phoebe was either.

But that didn't matter. Grandpa's navigation was always accurate.

Take the door on the right side of the sanctuary, and...

"Halt right there!"

"Stop her!"

"How is she this strong?!"

After a brute-force breakthrough, I flung open a door and found Phoebe lying on a bed.

Her face, already pale at the best of times, had gone white as a corpse's. If not for the slow rise and fall of her chest, I might have mistaken her for one.

— Ring.

The instant I saw her and bit down on my lip, a fresh notification chimed in.

Why does the Chief God seem more desperate when Phoebe's in danger than when I'm in danger? You pathetic perverted Chief God?

I had you pegged as a lolicon, but turns out you were just fine with anything pretty on either end of the age spectrum? Just how wide does this man's strike zone go?

"Lady Alrn?! This room is—"

"Cripple bishop?♡ If you're going to spout nonsense, just shut your mouth♡"

The bishop stared at me in silence for a moment, then checked the cross necklace at my chest and stepped aside.

Hmm. Quick to read the room — befitting a man who's climbed all the way to bishop.

Under the bishop's tacit permission, I entered the room and studied Phoebe's face, her brow still furrowed in her sleep.

There is no great physical injury. However, the body harbors an Evil God's mana within it.

Inside Phoebe?

Yes. That is likely what has been afflicting this girl...

As I mulled over countermeasures with Grandpa, the fox hopped up onto the bed with a springy little leap.

Hey. What do you think you're doing? I'm in kind of a huge rush here? Can you not read the room and knock off whatever weird thing this is?

"So that Apostle of the Evil God has dragged this child into his own mental world."

...I'm sorry, what?

"...What did you say, fox?"

"Simply put — he has abducted only this child's mind."

Her own trials being mental in nature, the fox was a specialist in exactly this domain, and she explained it with practiced ease.

The enemy had planted his power inside Phoebe long ago, letting its influence seep into her slowly; once that domination was complete, he had come to her and caged her mind.

"The fellow has considerable skill."

"Fox?♡ Enough with the commentary — just tell me the actual plan, fast♡"

"Hmph. The solution is simple. If she has been abducted, then one need ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠only rescue her. I shall send you into this child's mental world — so defeat the abductor and bring her back."

...Me?

"Me?"

"Who else would go? As you can see, I am as frail as I look, so there is no one but you, my contracted one, whom I could send."

So you're telling me sending Karl or anyone else to carry me through it is off the table?! No free carries allowed?!

Dammit.

Could the me of right now actually beat Nakrad?

It was true that I'd grown stronger since then. But calling it a dramatic leap would be a stretch.

If I had to guess, stepping into Phoebe's mental world would end in the same result as last time.

The memory of that day stirred up scene after scene inside my head.

The floor soaked through with blood spilling from the holes punched through my body. Bones broken, reset, and broken again. Just when I thought I'd grown used to the pain, a new pain arrived to teach me the old one had been nothing.

There was exactly one reason I survived back then. Chance. Pure luck. Because the dice fell my way, I didn't die — and here I stood again.

Put another way: if my luck had turned, I would have crumbled to dust on that floor and become one with the dirt.

And now, in this very moment.

To save Phoebe, I would have to lean on chance once more.

On a chance so flimsy I couldn't even be sure it existed.

...

Well, whatever! It's easy! I'm lucky, remember? I'll survive this time too!

I screamed it inside my own head, crushing the fear down flat, then lifted my gaze to study the fox's face.

She was wearing that same easy, knowing smile again.

What. Why are you making that face.

"Fear not, my master. So long as you carry the light within you, you shall never fall to that man."