Field Trip (5)

'You actually intend to wear this yourself?'

That was what Alsaetin said as he presented the bunny girl outfit he'd procured for me.

The thought that flashed through my head the moment I laid eyes on it wasn't much different.

I was really planning to put that on?

The bunny girl outfit was not clothing.

How could anyone call something that covered less than it exposed a garment?

A million different thoughts churned inside me, but the Mesugaki Skill refused to grant me the luxury of embarrassment.

Thanks to that, I was able to receive the bunny girl outfit from Alsaetin with the bearing of an absolute queen. Along with a remark about why he was getting his panties in a twist over what I chose to wear.

And while I was at it, I got a lesson from one of his subordinates on how to properly put the thing on.

That woman, a former casino worker apparently, taught me not just the correct way to wear a bunny girl costume but how to carry it as well.

Her powers of persuasion must have been truly remarkable, because even now, three days later, I hadn't forgotten a single step of putting the outfit on.

Once I was fully dressed, I topped it off with the bunny ears and pulled a mirror out of my Inventory to check my reflection.

Despite a situation mortifying enough to make me want to die on the spot, there I was with a shameless mesugaki expression, my hair spilling over one shoulder and doing almost nothing to hide the bare skin of my exposed shoulder.

Skin so soft and white it put a cat's cheeks to shame, despite enduring training that would make most knights weep.

The red bunny girl outfit, properly worn yet still somehow lifting slightly around the chest, stockings that pretended to cover the skin of my legs, and high heels with a pretty significant heel height.

If you asked whether it suited me — yes, it did. Lucy's appearance was, after all, as beautiful as a doll come to life; any outfit she wore ended up tailored to her, not the other way around.

There was no way it wouldn't suit me. But being able to admire that is something you do when it's someone else's problem. The moment it becomes your own body, embarrassment comes crashing in before admiration ever gets a chance!

Good thing I'd buried Grandpa at the bottom of the Inventory. If I'd shown him this, I'd have wanted to bite my tongue off every single time he brought it up.

Hmm. Maybe I should buy a few spare blankets. I'm going to be kicking them off every night for a while, and I doubt ordinary bedding can survive the ordeal my conscience is about to put them through.

'Lady Rina?...'

"Face-Con Fox. Come in."

The moment I called that name, the door burst open and the Face-Con ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Fox shoved her face inside.

She sauntered in with the loose grin of a dirty old man, wiping the drool from her mouth, took one look at me — and froze dead in the doorway.

What. What! If you've got something to say, say it! I'm gritting my teeth and bracing myself to endure your fawning right now! When you go silent it just makes it worse, you pervert!

"Beautiful."

'Is it now?'

"Ha. Is that so? Guess it suits your perverted tastes, then?"

The Face-Con Fox scrutinized me from my toes to my face like a predator sizing up her prey, then walked into the room wearing an expression so rapturous she looked ready to expire on the spot.

"Ahh. How could words ever hope to describe this? That skin, baby-soft and simply delicious, and those eyes..."

'Stop.'

"Face-Con Fox. Would you mind closing that filthy mouth of yours? You're making me nauseous."

"If it is your command, then so it shall be."

Honestly, I never have thoughts like this, but I swear I wanted to smash her skull in. To drive my mace into that slack jaw and shatter her teeth into gravel. Genuinely.

'So...'

"Feeling satisfied now? You like watching a young girl in a bunny outfit that much, you pervert? You're disgusting. Truly repulsive. To think the forest has to live under the thumb of something like this. My heart aches for every living thing in there."

"Do not be so harsh. Can you not see I am on the verge of melting?"

The instant I saw those round, glazing-over eyes of the Face-Con Fox, profanity nearly erupted from me in earnest.

I hate her. I genuinely hate her. I'd honestly take someone who just got straightforwardly angry at my Mesugaki Skill or ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠pulled cheap tricks behind my back. At least they don't commit their degeneracy right to my face like this — it's triggering a physiological revulsion in me.

Let's finish this quickly and get out of here. If I spend another minute around the Face-Con Fox, something is going to come crawling up from the depths of my stomach.

'You'll grant my request, won't you?'

"Face-Con Fox. Are you finally in the mood to do me that favor?"

"A favor? Ah. The favor. Yes, that is what we were here to discuss. Very well. How could I refuse a request from one so beautiful as you? Waking a single ordinary girl from her slumber is no great task."

Thank goodness. If after everything I'd done she'd actually apologized, I'd have pulled Grandpa out and cracked open the fox's skull to erase the memory on the spot.

"In exchange, however, I have one condition."

Huh? What? One person here just sold off every scrap of her dignity and prestige, and that still wasn't enough? She's lived so long that even the greed-pouch in her heart has grown to match her age?! Huh?!

"Stamp on me with those high heels."

...

...I'm sorry, what?

Perhaps because I'd just heard words that existed beyond the far borders of common sense, my brain went numb.

No. This is insane. I'm losing my mind. I knew perfectly well that this unhinged Face-Con Fox was a degenerate who'd crossed every line. She was designed as a gag character of exactly this type from the very beginning.

I'd even watched her spew garbage worse than this through a monitor screen. But hearing it with my own two ears, in real life, made me feel like I was genuinely about to lose it.

"Now then. I shall even strike a pose for your convenience. Do press down hard enough to make a hole of me. I give you my word that I shall mind it not at all."

Ah, damn it. I'd held out with superhuman patience until now, but this was beyond my limit. Ignoring the Face-Con Fox sprawled belly-down on the floor, I worked my Inventory.

Then I pulled Grandpa out and swung him straight at the Face-Con Fox. No strength adjustment whatsoever. In my heart of hearts, I wanted to crack her skull open and end it.

I do hope Lady Arln is persuading Lady Rina successfully...

Waiting in the reception room of Rina's dwelling for Lucy to arrive, Joy could not suppress her anxiety no matter how she tried.

It wasn't that she doubted Lucy's competence. After being rescued by it time and time again, how could Joy possibly doubt her?

It was just — yes, just that the person sunk now in a slumber from which she could not wake was her dearest friend, and Joy could not stand idly by.

"Um."

"..."

"Um."

"Ah. Yes?"

Having never expected Frey to speak to her, Joy answered a beat too late.

"What did you see in the trial?"

"In the trial?"

"Yeah."

What I saw in the trial? The sweet, bright, adorable Lady Arln. Me as a Grand Magus. An absolutely divine bakery. And riding on a white horse—

GYAAAAAAAAH.

At the recollection of her most cringe-worthy history, Joy screamed internally and scrubbed it from her memory.

Cannot tell her that. Absolutely cannot. But if I flat-out refuse to answer, Lady Kent will think I'm the kind of person who imagines strange things. Something moderate. What's something moderate?

"A version of myself who'd become a Grand Magus."

That should be fine, right? Ambitious enough to sound plausible.

Joy tensed, bracing for a follow-up interrogation, but Frey asked nothing more. She simply nodded and delivered a toneless oh, I see, and nothing else.

That indifferent response stung Joy's pride more than a little, and before she knew it she'd thrown the question right back.

"And what about you, Lady Kent? What vision did you see?"

"Me? Myself, laughing happily with my family. It was boring. So I punched it."

"...I'm sorry, what does that—" Joy was mid-question when, from somewhere far away, came the sound of something shattering.

That's the direction Lady Arln went! What on earth is happening?! Is she all right?! Is she hurt?!

"Lady Kent!"

"Yeah."

Racing toward the sound, Joy and Frey heard it swell fiercer and fiercer the closer they drew, and quickened their pace.

Lady Arln! Please, please be unharmed! Please don't shoulder everything alone like last time! I'm begging you!

And so, praying all ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the while, Joy and Frey arrived at where Lucy was — and what they beheld was:

"Die! Just die already, you perverted face-con freak!"

"Ohhh. How wonderful — so much force and feeling behind it."

Lucy, still in the bunny girl outfit, swinging her mace at Rina.

Um. No. Huh? A scene her common sense simply could not process, and Joy's brain stopped dead for an instant.

Why is Lady Arln swinging a mace? And why is Lady Rina laughing strangely ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠as she takes the hits?

No, more importantly, why is Lady Arln wearing a ba... bunny... a bunny girl outfit?! She was definitely wearing armor when we parted!

Lucy, dressed in a bunny girl outfit that belonged in some establishment of ill repute, was undeniably beautiful.

That mixture of cuteness, defiance, and raw allure held a gravity so potent that even Joy, drowning in bewilderment, couldn't tear her eyes away for a moment.

But beautiful as it was, nothing explained why she was wearing it. What is going on? Am I still trapped in some hallucination?!

Lucy lifted her head, apparently only now noticing Joy and Frey's presence.

And in that suspended instant, Lucy's stunned eyes — her usual composure gone — met Joy's bewildered ones.

"Nothing unusual happening here."

Frey left the two of them frozen like statues and simply walked back toward the reception room.

Even as her footsteps faded into the distance, the silence stretched on in the suffocating air, until the one who finally broke it was Rina herself, still reeling from mace blows.

"Sigh. How tactless. And it was getting to the good part. Phoebe, off you go. I intend to keep taking this child's wrath with my body for a while yet."

The moment Joy saw that face full of regret, everything fell into place.

I see. Of course! Lady Arln endured such humiliation to save Phoebe! She sold her dignity to that pervert masquerading as the Master of the Forest!

"Lady Arln! Thank you so much! And I'm so sorry — making you shoulder this all by yourself!"

Joy shouted all that, came charging over to me, and wrapped me up in both her arms.

No idea what misunderstanding she's operating under, but... hmm. Let's not correct it. No matter what I said, I doubt things would get any better than they are right now.

After shutting up Grandpa and his useless commentary, I gently pushed Joy off me. I appreciated the comfort, truly, but right now I had a debt to collect.

"Perverted fox. You're going to help, right?"

"Hey, perverted face-con freak. You're going to help, aren't you? Unless you're a hopeless piece of trash who deserves to have that mouth wiped clean off her face."

"Khhem. Having received a reward of this magnitude, it is only right I repay it in kind."

The Face-Con Fox staggered upright, straightened her disheveled clothes, folded her arms, and put on a smile that was trying far too hard to look dependable.

"Now then. Follow me. We shall go wake your friend."

Excuse me. You're not even a little sorry, are you? And no amount of posturing is going to erase the grotesque spectacle you put on five minutes ago.

You masochistic, degenerate, face-con trash of a fox.