Chapter 397: 2. Confession (2/2)
Chapter 397: 2. Confession (2/2)
A faint sliver of light seeped through the window. Was it because of the alcohol that was quickly getting to me? The sun was still high in the sky, but my eyes were already getting heavy. I blinked a couple of times to steady my wavering vision, and the messy state of the room came into view, now slightly clearer.
Empty bottles were strewn about where we sat, and the snacks that had been in their bowls were scattered everywhere in an unsightly mess. The cloth spread on the floor was sticky and matted, soaked with alcohol that had spilled from the mouths of the bottles. It was, in a word, a disaster. My brother and I were both unusually neat, so this was a scene we would never have let stand under normal circumstances.
Jinha noona would faint if she saw this.
When Jinha noona had brought the snacks, she had secretly smiled at me with her eyes, cooing, “Young Master, Young Master.” Would she still say such things after seeing the room like this? Ah, but maybe she’d still try to smile sweetly to make a good impression. Hahaha.
I chuckled under my breath at the absurd thought that had suddenly popped into my head, then let out a long sigh. As I opened my mouth in a daze, I could feel my own breath seeping back in, spreading a sweet scent.
“Tired?”
Did he mistake it for a yawn? I smacked my lips once or twice and turned to the side to see my brother, still looking perfectly fine. He was sitting comfortably on the bed, facing me directly, an almost empty bottle in one hand.
Come to think of it, I remembered my brother having a much higher tolerance for alcohol than me. Both back on Earth and in the Hall Plain.
“You can take a nap if you’re tired. This is an empty room, anyway.”
My brother said again in a very gentle voice, and I slowly shook my head.
“I’m not drunk.”
“I know. That’s why I asked if you were tired, not if you were drunk.”
“Oh.”
My brother chuckled quietly. Seeing that, I felt like I’d been outmaneuvered. I turned my head back to the front, reached out, and picked up a new, unopened bottle. Pop! As I slowly pulled the cork out, I felt a warm sensation as his back pressed against mine, which had felt empty until now.
“Whoa. So, why did you want to come here? The alcohol is one thing, but… of all the places you wanted to go, this was it?”
“Just because. It’s a place that brings back a lot of old memories.”
“Old memories?”
“…Do you remember our time on Earth?”
I changed the subject for no particular reason. And my sharp brother immediately understood my intention.
“Earth? What memories?”
“You and I were really into that American TV show for a while. I remembered how we decorated the room to be like a movie theater so we could watch it.”
“Ah, I remember. Was it The Big Bang Theory? Haha. We were really something else back then.”
“I had fun. Finding a popcorn container to fill with snacks, dragging the monitor forward and tilting it as much as possible so we could watch while lying down…”
“And then the monitor fell and cracked.”
We couldn’t see each other’s faces since our backs were pressed together. But from the faint tremor I felt through my shoulders, I knew he was smiling. I let out a light laugh myself, raised the bottle, and took a swig. Wiping my mouth, I spoke quietly.
“Did we watch up to season four? I wonder how many seasons are out now…”
“There must be more. Enough to binge-watch if we ever go back… Anyway. Is that the reason?”
“Hm? What is?”
“For choosing this room, of all places. You wanted to feel some nostalgia for our time on Earth?”
My brother paused for a moment as if looking around the room, then continued in a low voice.
“It doesn’t seem very similar, though.”
It was then.
“…No. That’s not it.”
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, my mind went completely blank. I stared at the wall and continued speaking, feeling as if I were possessed.
“This place is…”
“Yeah.”
“It was the room I used back when I was a member of the Haemil Clan.”
“…Huh?”
“It’s been almost a year now, so… it’s already been nine years since I joined the Haemil Clan.”
“Soohyun?”
The back of my neck prickled. It seemed my brother had also sensed that something was wrong.
“What are you…”
“Hyung.”
But I cut him off immediately. When I finally turned my head to look back, I saw him staring right at me with a puzzled look, just as I’d expected. We were so close I could see our faces reflected in each other’s eyes.
“I know you think this is strange. But please, don’t interrupt. Just listen to me for a moment.”
“You…”
“I’m begging you. Please.”
“……”
My brother didn’t answer.
I didn’t have the courage to meet his gaze any longer, so I turned my head back and stared at the wall in front of me.
“……”
“……”
An uncomfortable silence followed. As I quietly savored it, a thought suddenly occurred to me. Even though I knew I had to say it, maybe I had been hesitating this entire time.
“I’ll begin.”
Right. There was no need to wait for his answer.
As soon as I made up my mind, I began to speak, quietly but calmly.
“There was a young man. He had just completed his military service, and on the train ride home, he dozed off.”
This was the story of what happened eleven years ago, right before I came to the Hall Plain.
“When he woke up, the young man realized he was in a strange place. Before he even had a chance to grasp the situation, he had to go through a test called the Rite of Passage, where he had to desperately flee from monsters he had never seen before. After barely surviving for seven days, the young man earned a sort of qualification and entered a place called the Hall Plain. Completely against his will.”
Our backs, which had separated for a moment, were now touching again. Feeling a strange sense of comfort from the warmth behind me, I made a decision.
I would tell him the conclusion right now. I would draw a line in the sand so that, if I couldn't bear it midway, I wouldn't be able to take it all back with a simple, “Actually, I was just kidding.”
“And then, ten years passed. The young man… no, the man, after countless trials and tribulations, was able to reach the pinnacle of the Hall Plain. He finally reached the end and earned the right to return to Earth.”
“……”
“But the man didn’t go back to Earth. No. Far from returning, he chose to turn back time and return to when he first entered the Hall Plain. Why? …Because the man had a purpose.”
“……”
“That man is me.”
I continued without a pause, afraid I might change my mind.
Only after I had delivered the final line did I realize my heart was pounding violently. I drew my knees in and slowly wrapped my arms around them. At the same time, I felt him flinch against my back, a sudden jolt of surprise.
Finally, I calmly turned my head and looked back.
My brother’s face was expressionless. He was just staring at me intently, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
As we held each other’s gaze, I felt his eyes waver slightly. At the same time, his lips slowly parted.
“Soohyun.”
“Brother… I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The moment I heard those words, I squeezed my eyes shut.
Of course, I knew it sounded absurd, even to myself… but why did I feel so empty?
It was then.
“So…”
When I realized my brother wasn't finished, I swallowed without thinking.
“Tell me a little more. No, I want you to tell me in much more detail than you just did.”
At his continued words, I blinked once, then twice.
Right. It was just as I’d expected. Instead of reacting like I was talking nonsense, my brother showed he was willing to at least hear me out. It was proof that he wasn’t taking my words lightly. Of course, he didn’t believe me completely, but even this attitude was something I was grateful for.
I kept blinking. Then, biting my slightly trembling lips, I slowly nodded.
At last, I opened my mouth and spoke in a low voice.
*
“…So I made my decision. Rather than return to Earth alone, I would start over from the beginning. I would change the past, save everyone, and return together with them all.”
Only after I finished the last sentence did I lift my gaze from the floor and look at the window.
When we first arrived, the light had been bright, but the sun had set at some point. Seeing the faint twilight glow cast upon the floor, I let out a long sigh.
It was just one sentence. It was really just one sentence.
That one request to tell him in detail had given me a sliver of courage, and so I unraveled everything I had been through from beginning to end.
Of course, that didn’t mean I told him everything. I thoroughly omitted the parts I was ashamed to speak of, like murder, robbery, and rape, and focused only on the major events.
Even so, there was more than enough to talk about, and it was enough to complicate my brother’s thoughts. In fact, I felt I had summarized too much, leaving some parts inadequately explained.
But it couldn’t be helped. It was truly difficult to fully convey ten years of a turbulent life in less than a day.
Despite me talking nonstop for hours, my brother listened intently. He did interrupt a few times, but that was mostly when I talked about getting hurt.
For example, when I told him about being stabbed in the stomach by Belphegor and passing out, my brother had cut me off, seething with anger, “What did you say?”
In any case.
I felt I had done my best to explain everything I could.
And after the whole story was over, my brother was the first to speak.
“…I see. So that’s what happened.”
He then raised one hand and began to tap the floor with his index finger. It was a habit we both had when our minds were tangled.
His face was calmer than I expected. But his features were tense all over, as if he were trying his best to act unfazed. The various facts I had known that I shouldn’t have must have been making things complicated for him, making it impossible to just brush it all off.
After watching him for a while, I blurted out a single sentence.
“It’s okay, just say whatever’s on your mind.”
“…I don’t know. For you to suddenly tell me something like this… It’s too big to take in all at once. It doesn’t feel real.”
My brother answered honestly.
“Ha…”
He let out a deep sigh and his finger stopped tapping.
“Soohyun. It’s hard to just accept your words at face value. But considering you knew various things from before you arrived… things I never told you, and thinking about your actions since you got here… Circumstantially, it seems to make sense.”
“Circumstantially…”
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you.”
My brother answered flatly.
“It’s… just…”
But he didn’t continue right away, as if he were hesitating about something.
My throat suddenly felt parched. I reached for the bottle glowing in the twilight and brought it to my lips. The liquid that invaded my mouth moistened my dry throat, but the thirst wouldn’t go away. Instead, it felt like a drought-stricken field, cracking apart.
Looking at the now-empty bottle, I forced my mouth open.
“Just?”
My brother was looking down at the floor with his characteristically lonely eyes. His face, stained by the sunset, was incredibly flushed.
A little time passed, and finally, his lips parted.
“I don’t know. From the moment I heard you had returned, the anxiety that’s been in my chest has become a heavy weight. The reason… I don’t know either. Why do I suddenly feel so suffocated?”
Listening to him, I nodded once or twice. In the end, my brother was half-believing, half-doubting. He had to acknowledge it based on the circumstances, but it was too much to process and accept all at once.
And I could understand his position. If I put myself in his shoes, how would I react if Ahn Sol suddenly said, “I turned back time from the future!”? No matter how much sense she made, there would still be a part of me that was skeptical.
A moment later, I let out a short sigh and reached into my coat. I took out the ‘Crystal of Truth’ and placed it where my brother could see it. Honestly, I really didn’t want to use it, but…
“Hyung. You know what this is, right?”
“That’s… the Crystal of Truth.”
“Right.”
I placed my hand on the crystal and infused it with my magic. A small, pale flame flickered to life inside the crystal sphere, signaling that the ‘Crystal of Truth’ had been activated.
Watching the quietly swaying blue flame, I raised my head and slowly opened my mouth.
“What I said is the truth.”
“…You.”
My brother frowned for a moment, then immediately looked down at the crystal. His eyes went wide as saucers, a sign that he had confirmed the color hadn’t changed.
I opened my mouth to confirm it one more time.
“I’ll do it again. Everything I’ve told you since we entered this room is the truth. I am a User who has seen the end of the Hall Plain, and I turned back time for the purpose of changing the past, returning to this very spot.”
The blue flame still burned just as before.
And only now did my brother’s demeanor finally change.
His attitude had been consistent from the start. From when we met outside the building until now, he hadn’t shown any change. His voice was the same, his actions were the same.
But now, his expression had changed completely. He looked incredibly cold and rigid, yet at the same time, as if all the strength had drained out of him.
How much time passed like that?
“Hoo…”
At last, my brother covered his face with both hands. The sound of his breath escaped through the small gaps between his fingers. Without taking his hands from his face, he spoke for the first time in a weak voice.
“Right. So it was real.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah? Ha. Haha… It was real, it was really real. You. You already cleared this world.”
“That’s right.”
The duration of the ‘Crystal of Truth’ was about to end.
“And for some bullshit reason, you threw away your chance to go back.”
“Yeah… Huh?”
Just then, my brother slowly raised his head. He lowered his hands and began to stare at me intently. Meeting that intense gaze, I somehow got the feeling that he had sorted something out in his mind.
“Now I know why I was so anxious. Kim Soohyun. Even if you did that. Even if you came back, did you think I would be happy…”
My brother, about to say something more, snapped his mouth shut. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before speaking again.
“No… never mind. Hoo. Fine. Since we’ve activated the ‘Crystal of Truth’ anyway, let me ask one more thing. Keep your hand where it is.”
“……”
Was it because I was still mulling over his unfinished sentence? A moment later, I realized he was waiting for my response and hurriedly spoke.
“What is it?”
“You said it before. That I died trying to save you. Tell me that part again, in detail.”
“Wh-what about it?”
Even as I spoke, I felt a sharp sting inside. Because while I hadn't lied about this part, there was something I had intentionally omitted.
But my brother pressed on relentlessly, as if leaving no room for ambiguity.
“Soohyun. When I was dying, did I beg you to save me? Or did I ask you to find a way to save me so we could go back together?”
“……”
“Answer me.”
“No. You didn’t.”
I answered calmly, but my heart sank. My throat felt dry again. I looked for a bottle, but we had already finished most of them while talking.
“Then.”
“You told me not to save you. And you told me to survive no matter what and see the end.”
Fwoosh! Fwoosh!
At that moment, with my brother’s final question, the effect of the ‘Crystal of Truth’ ended.
Thinking it was now truly over, I slowly, very slowly, removed my hand. When I slightly raised my head, I saw my brother standing ramrod straight and approaching me.
Just as I was about to get a better look at his face.
CRASH!
“!”
“You…”
What just happened?
I dazedly lowered my head and saw the ‘Crystal of Truth,’ shattered into pieces. For a moment, I couldn’t grasp the situation and was thrown into a state of intense confusion, but the instant I finally saw my brother’s face, I held my breath without realizing it.
And he did the same.
My brother looked as if he was about to say something, but he seemed to force his mouth shut the moment he saw my face. His expression was utterly complex, holding an emotion that was difficult to describe.
Then, my brother spoke.
“Why, why…”
“Why… what?”
I reflexively touched my face. What kind of expression was I making right now? What on earth was on my face to make him react like that?
“Ugh…!”
My brother kept trying to say something, but he let out a pained groan as if he were forcefully suppressing it. Then he suddenly collapsed to his knees, bringing his eyes level with mine.
“You… you damn fool…!”
His voice sounded like it had been squeezed out with great effort. From his trembling tone, I could instinctively tell. There was so much he wanted to say, but he had poured it all into that one phrase.
Then, I felt the warm touch of his hand gently resting on the crown of my head.
And in that moment.
“…It must have been so hard for you all this time, wasn't it?”
I quickly clenched my jaw. At the same time, my brother’s form suddenly began to waver. I reflexively squeezed my eyes shut.
I can’t explain exactly how I felt. But it was as if all the pain I had suffered, all the pain I had to endure for ten years, was being rewarded all at once by that single sentence from my brother.
I felt like I could finally understand, just a little, how he must have felt moments ago. Of course, we probably didn't feel the exact same thing. No. We probably felt the complete opposite.
Like my brother, I suppressed all the words I wanted to say and managed to utter just one phrase.
“No. I’m okay.”
I felt his hand gently stroking through my hair. I opened my eyes slightly, but the world was still wavering, so I closed them again.
Feeling my brother’s gaze roaming over me, I wished for this moment to pass quickly, and at the same time, I wished for it to last a little longer.
Amidst those conflicting emotions, I thought to myself.
Confessing hadn’t been such a bad choice after all.