Chapter 387: Changed. Unchanged.
Chapter 387: Changed. Unchanged.
After a brief farewell with my brother, I stepped into the Warp Gate with the rest of the clan.
And at last, we were able to travel to the southern city of Monica.
It had been a long time since I’d last seen Monica, but nothing much had changed. The clan members, however, all wore awkward expressions. The familiar yet strange sight of the city after so long must have been disorienting for them.
After a quick look around, I headed straight for the Mercenary House.
The clan members didn't say a single word the entire way back. In that uncomfortable silence, I couldn't shake the feeling that they were furtively watching me.
Enduring the occasional stares on my back, I let out a quiet sigh.
If Shin Sangyong had returned with us alive…
What would it have been like? We still would have just come from a war, so there wouldn't have been any cheerful laughter, but I imagine the mood would have been far better than this.
The uncomfortable silence lingered. Just then, I sensed someone quietly approaching my side.
I slowly turned my head and saw Jung Hayeon, her arm half-extended. She flinched the moment she saw me looking, then lowered her hand and spoke.
“Soohyun. I've already contacted the Mercenary House.”
“I see.”
“...Yes. By now, everyone should be out and waiting for us. And...”
“?”
Jung Hayeon's voice was still clear, but it was heavy with emotion. Feeling a little awkward, I waited for her to continue.
“I've already given them a brief account of what happened.”
An account.
I was surprised that Jung Hayeon had been so considerate even in a situation like this, but I simply nodded. She bowed her head and slowed her pace, falling back. It wasn't a major issue, but it was one less thing to worry about.
I was suddenly struck by a desperate craving for a cigarette, something I hadn't thought about lately, and quickened my pace.
Perhaps because I focused only on walking, it didn't take long to reach the Mercenary House. As we drew close enough to see it clearly, I saw that the main gate was wide open, just as Jung Hayeon had said. Inside, familiar Users were waiting to greet us.
The employees were lined up on either side of the gate. The old man and Baek Hangyul, who had been excluded from this expedition, were there as well. And of course, the baby unicorn.
“Kkyu!”
The moment it saw me, the baby unicorn came dashing over. Its tail wagged nonstop, a clear sign of its excitement. I unthinkingly reached out to catch it, but then I froze.
My hands, when I looked down, were still covered in blood. It wasn't dripping like it had been in Barbara, but most of it had dried and caked on.
I hesitated for a moment before pulling my hands back. At the same time, I took a slight step back and spoke.
“No.”
“Kkyu, kkyukkyu?!”
The baby unicorn, which had been charging forward without a care for the blood, stopped abruptly at my command. It quickly looked up at me, blinking rapidly. Its eyes demanded an explanation, and I continued in a low voice.
“Don't come any closer. You'll get blood on you...”
“Kkyu...?”
A moment of silence passed.
And then.
“Kkyuuu...”
Its wide, staring eyes began to well up with tears. Seeing its tail droop, I let out a short breath.
And just like that, I walked past the baby unicorn. It wasn't that I didn't understand how it felt, but there was no need to get blood on it.
And so, I finally entered the Mercenary House.
“Welcome back.”
“W-Welcome back.”
“H-Hieeek!”
“B-Be quiet!”
As I stepped through the gate, the employees bowed in unison as if on cue. But being non-combat Users by nature, some of them let out small shrieks at the sight of me.
But I paid them no mind. I gave a slight nod in acknowledgment and then met the eyes of the two people approaching me.
“H-Hyung. Ah... C-Clan Lord. W-Welcome... back.”
“Congratulations on your safe return, Clan Lord.”
Baek Hangyul's reaction wasn't much different from the employees'. He kept sneaking glances at me as he spoke, clearly finding my current appearance quite alien.
In contrast, the old man greeted me with a relatively calm demeanor.
“Haha. It has truly been a long time.”
“It has been some time.”
“Indeed. Hmm... I heard the gist of it from Miss Jung Hayeon. About User Shin Sangyong...”
“...Yes. Unfortunately, that's what happened.”
“Clan Lord... You've been through a great deal. And I apologize that this old man could not be of more help.”
Seeing the old man click his tongue, I nodded once or twice before shaking my head.
“No. There's no need for you to apologize. We got our revenge.”
“Tsk. There wasn't a single day of peace for me while I was here. Ah, I heard a brief report, but... is the war completely over now?”
“Yes. The Western Continent and the Vagabond Alliance forces were defeated by the East. Although some managed to escape with their lives, a containment net will soon be formed. In any case, you can consider this the Northern Continent's victory.”
“Haha. Well, the result is good news, at least. That's a relief.”
At the word "victory," the faces of those around me brightened. Seeing that left a bitter taste in my mouth. It couldn't be helped. Users who hadn't experienced the war would never know what kind of 'process' the participants had to go through to achieve that victory.
Then, a thought occurred to me, and I glanced back. I could see the clan members filing in one by one, their faces still dark.
In that moment, the words I had spoken to the clan in this very spot before we left suddenly flashed through my mind.
'No one knows how long the war will last. It might end very quickly, or it might drag on for longer than we think.'
'But no matter how many months it takes, there is only one thing I want. When the war is over and we gather in this place again, I hope to see every single one of you back, healthy and whole.'
Still looking back, I let out a faint groan.
“...Hah.”
It was a barely audible sound, yet the clan members all lifted their heads at once.
And as their gazes fell upon me, I found myself speaking without thinking.
“The war is over.”
“......”
The words had come out purely on reflex.
“And we... have returned safely to the Clan House.”
“......”
The clan members answered with silence.
Since I had spoken reflexively, I couldn't find anything else to say.
I thought for a moment, but decided that since I'd started, I should see it through to the end.
“And... although one of us couldn't make it back...”
“Hic...!”
Just then.
I suddenly heard someone start to sob.
I paused for a moment before continuing in a low voice.
“To everyone who returned safely. You all worked hard.”
“Ugh!”
“Hwaaah...”
“Waaah...”
At the same time, I saw Ahn Hyun, Lee Yoojung, and Ahn Sol all burst into tears.
I stared intently at them as they collapsed to the ground.
I was a little taken aback, but a part of me understood.
They were still Year 0 Users. Even with everything they'd been through, in the grand scheme of the 'Hall Plain,' they were still like blank slates.
And as such children, they had experienced far too much at once by participating in this war.
A war rampant with murder, the likes of which they'd never seen before.
The pain of losing an acquaintance right before their eyes.
And finally, the sudden release of tension at the words that the war was over.
All of those things had likely combined to overwhelm their young minds.
“Ah, Ahn Hyun. The Clan Lord is still speaking. Please get up.”
“Yoojung. Get up. Huh? Are you going to keep this up?”
“Miss Sol. Please rise. This will only upset the Clan Lord.”
As I watched the other clan members gently help the kids to their feet, a thought struck me, and I looked at Ko Yeonju. I realized she had been holding Shin Sangyong's body this entire time.
“User Ko Yeonju.”
“I understand.”
The moment I called her name, Ko Yeonju responded immediately. Had she already anticipated my order to take care of Shin Sangyong's body? Feeling that was likely the case, I looked at her apologetically.
“Then... I'll be back. I won't be long.”
“Thank you.”
Ko Yeonju gave me a faint, reassuring smile before carefully laying Shin Sangyong down. She then turned and started running out the main gate, heading directly toward the shopping district.
“H-Hyung. N-No. Clan Lord.”
Just then, a voice called out, and I turned to the side. I saw Baek Hangyul blinking, a hesitant look on his face.
“Y-You must be exhausted, right? I've prepared a meal... Ah, no. You should probably wash up first...”
“A meal... I'm fine.”
“...Still.”
“Everyone is mentally exhausted right now. It would be best not to force anything, at least for today. So, let only those who want to eat do so. The rest should just head to the baths or their rooms.”
Understanding what I meant, Baek Hangyul nodded with a look of disappointment.
I then raised my voice slightly to conclude my unfinished address.
“There's no need to drag this out. That is all. We'll end it here. And for today... I recommend you all get a good rest. Dismissed.”
Only after formally giving the order to dismiss could I finally catch my breath.
However, few of the clan members left. Some stood in place, staring up at the sky. Some were still looking at me. And others showed no sign of stopping their tears as they gathered around Shin Sangyong's body.
Amidst it all, I turned around alone. And I walked. The various sounds flowing into my ears began to fade into the distance.
After making my way to the main building, I started up the stairs. When I reached the fourth floor and pushed open the door to my room, I threw myself onto the white bed as if I were tossing something aside.
*
“Damn it.”
I opened my eyes with a low curse. The dark twilight filled the room. I habitually glanced around before letting out a thin sigh.
We had returned to the Clan House late in the afternoon, but it seemed dawn was already approaching.
I have to sleep.
Driven by the single thought that I had to sleep, I forced my eyes shut in the darkness. Just as sleep was finally about to take me...
A faint wave of dizziness washed over my head again. It was becoming a familiar sensation.
“...Damn it all.”
I ended up opening my eyes again.
In truth, I had been repeating the same process ever since I lay down in my room. Whenever I was about to fall into a deep sleep, that faint dizziness would inevitably strike. It would jolt me awake, and just as I was about to drift into a light doze, I would be woken up again.
It was a truly foul feeling. My body was demanding sleep, but I couldn't get any.
At this rate, am I going to revert to my old self...?
I let out a bitter laugh.
My body didn't feel like my own. It wasn't just because of simple fatigue. My mind was a complex mess of thoughts that arose on their own, yet my desire to think of nothing at all was hollowing out my chest.
Caught between these conflicting emotions, I was wandering aimlessly like a lost lamb.
It was in that moment.
Suddenly, an image of Shin Sangyong floated in the air before me, then slowly faded away.
......
In the end, I tried asking and answering myself.
Am I being this pathetic because of Shin Sangyong's death?
No.
His death was certainly regrettable. But I had experienced the deaths of people I knew more than enough times in my first playthrough. The word 'death' was an all-too-familiar concept to me.
Then is it guilt for making the wrong decision as a Clan Lord?
No.
Regardless of what happened, I saved the clan members, achieved my goal, and secured the resulting benefits.
Then what? What else could it be?
......
I asked myself, but I couldn't answer.
And so, with no answers to be found, only the questions continued to echo within me.