Chapter 336: Ahn Sol’s Past & the Calm Before the Storm
Chapter 336: Ahn Sol’s Past & the Calm Before the Storm
“Oh…! Hyung, you’re my savior. Hehe.”
Perhaps because I’d already suggested we have a drink, Ahn Hyun readily nodded. I smacked the guy in the ribs as he spouted, “Hahaha! Hyung chose me! Are you watching, Lee Yoojung?” and then started walking to get as far away from the festival grounds as possible.
As we moved to the most secluded spot I could find, I calmly collected my thoughts. I didn't know what had happened, but both Ahn Hyun and Ahn Sol were extremely reluctant to talk about it. So, the key was figuring out how to get Ahn Hyun to open up.
We walked for about two minutes. Night had deepened, and I could still hear Ahn Hyun humming behind me. I glanced around and stopped by a garden pond. Perhaps because the moonlight was shining brilliantly, its light pushed back the hazy darkness, sparkling and dancing silver-white on the surface of the small pond.
“Oh. Are we drinking here? But why all the way out here….”
Ahn Hyun sat down with a wide grin, then looked around, his face flushed red. Then, after a slight flinch, he wrapped his arms around himself and exclaimed.
“Hyung. Don’t tell me…?!”
“?”
“H-Hyung. This is a bit much. Ah… no. If it’s you, Hyung… maybe it’s okay….”
“Say one more word. I’ll sober you up by force.”
I growled and tossed the bottle in my right hand. Ahn Hyun chuckled, waving his hand, and despite the short distance, he snatched the flying bottle perfectly. Slightly impressed, I opened the cap of the bottle in my left hand.
“First, a toast.”
“Okay! But are we drinking straight from the bottle?”
I simply nodded.
The sound of bottles clinking together followed, and I took the first swig. As the cold liquid went down my throat smoothly, my slightly excited mood calmed, and I felt a sense of ease inside. After savoring the refreshing aftertaste for a moment, I glanced ahead. In front of me, Ahn Hyun was drinking politely, his head slightly turned and one hand supporting the bottle.
“Ah. It’s not strong, but this is pretty good in its own way, isn’t it? It goes down smooth, and I feel like my head is clearing up.”
“Want another?”
Ahn Hyun nodded eagerly. I planned to wait until the effects of the potion kicked in. The guy was already as drunk as he could be. So I needed to sober him up enough to at least think straight.
After that, I deliberately said nothing. I simply humored Ahn Hyun’s chatter and quietly sipped my drink.
After we'd finished about half a bottle, I could feel the light returning to his hazy eyes, and his slurred pronunciation slowly becoming clearer. Deciding it was about time to bring up the topic, I took a cigarette from my pocket and put it in my mouth. Perhaps finding my continued silence awkward, Ahn Hyun's chattering voice, which had been going on until just a moment ago, gradually died down.
Just as I was lighting the cigarette with an ignition stone…
“Hyung. Is there something you wanted to say to me…? You haven’t said anything for a while.”
Ahn Hyun's tone was much more subdued than before. Thinking the potion had taken effect, I calmly nodded. I held the lit cigarette between my index and middle fingers and began to speak in a low voice.
“Yeah. There's something I want to ask you. That's why I set this up. I have some questions about Ahn Sol.”
“Aha. I see. Hey, ask me anything, Hyung. For you, I'll tell you everything about Sol....”
“Ahn Hyun. I'm not here to joke around. I'm asking about Ahn Sol's past and her mental state.”
At that, Ahn Hyun fell abruptly silent. I glanced up to study his face. The cheerful expression he'd worn at the team-building event was gone, replaced by a look of utter bewilderment. In the past, I wouldn't have bothered to ask. But this time, I couldn't back down, so I put more force into my voice.
“You're the only one I can ask. So I need you to tell me everything, straight up. You know what I'm talking about, right?”
“……”
A cold wind suddenly brushed past.
For a while, Ahn Hyun said nothing. He just kept his lips sealed, staring blankly at the ground. But his eyelids were trembling faintly, and he was biting his tightly shut lips.
After a long while, Ahn Hyun suddenly forced a smile. It was painfully obvious that he had manufactured it.
“Ha… haha. Really, Hyung. C'mon, I told you before. I'm sorry. Even for you, that's... difficult. There's such a thing as personal privacy, you know? Please respect that. Haha, ha.”
“Ahn Hyun.”
“…Hyung. Can't I tell you later instead? Why now, of all times…? Please. Give me some time to think. I need to sort out my thoughts, and I want to enjoy this nice atmosphere a little longer.”
Ahn Hyun's tone was now almost pleading. He really seemed desperate not to talk, but I decided to push forward as I'd originally planned. That meant I now had to persuade the guy in front of me.
I closed my eyes gently. I calmed my mind, then opened my eyes and spoke.
“Hyun-ah.”
The moment I said that, Ahn Hyun stopped talking again. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell slightly open as he stared at me. His eyes were filled with surprise.
Until then, I had rarely called the kids—no, even the clan members—by their first names alone. I almost always used their full names. It was my way of erecting a wall and keeping my distance. The others had probably sensed it as well. Jung Hayeon had even asked me to call her only by her first name. But this time, I tore down that wall myself.
Looking at Ahn Hyun, who wore an expression of complete uncertainty, I continued in a low voice.
“I feel like if it's not today… no. If it's not right now, there won't be another chance.”
“Hyung… please….”
“What on earth are you so afraid of? Hiding it like this won't solve anything.”
“But, Hyung. But….”
“Hyun-ah. Do you remember what I told you before? I said not to be afraid. To overcome that fear and face its source head-on. That's the only way to survive and adapt in this world, the Hall Plain.”
Perhaps my unusual earnestness reached him. A flicker of conflict crossed Ahn Hyun’s face, his worry and tangled emotions impossible to hide. He had understood what I meant. Even so, his answer was to lower his head. A faint “I’m sorry” soon reached my ears.
It seemed this wasn't enough to break down Ahn Hyun's walls. I let out a deep sigh.
The cheerful mood from five minutes earlier vanished in an instant. The lively air gave way to discomfort and silence, and the uneasy quiet lingered between us.
I clicked my tongue and spoke again.
“Something terrible almost happened to Ahn Sol a while ago. Did you know?”
Ahn Hyun nodded, then immediately shook his head. He seemed to have guessed that something had happened from Ahn Sol’s reaction, but he did not know the details. The Guardian was not something she could discuss carelessly, so she likely had not told him much.
“If we just leave Ahn Sol as she is, things are going to get really, really difficult. I'm not just talking about adapting. The Hall Plain is about to change drastically. In a world changing so rapidly, do you really think Ahn Sol can survive with her personality? I don't think so. I've always said it, right? You never know what might happen in the Hall Plain. This incident was a perfect example. It was a situation where, if things had gone wrong, Ahn Sol could have been used, or at worst, something terrible could have happened to her. We managed to stop it this time, somehow, but there's no guarantee it won't happen again.”
“Don’t tell me Sol….”
“If this were the past, I would have said, ‘Yeah, I see. It’s okay. You don’t have to talk if it’s difficult.’ And honestly, that would be easier for me too. I could just focus on my own business without worrying about it.”
“……!”
Ahn Hyun's lowered head and slumped shoulders flinched. But since I'd already started, I needed to speak more forcefully to break down his solid walls. First, I planned to make Ahn Hyun recognize the gravity of the situation. And after that, I had to appeal to his emotions.
“But… I can't do that anymore. A while back, at the User Academy, Kim Hanbyul asked me. Why didn't I join the Golden Lion? Why did I kick away such a great opportunity? What do you think I said then?”
“……”
“I'm not as good a person as you guys think. I'm suspicious and don't trust people easily. But this world, the Hall Plain, isn't a place you can survive alone. In the end, you need comrades to live with, to help you. That's why I answered that I would create my own clan. A clan like a family, made up only of people I can trust, no matter what happens.”
“A family…?”
The moment I said the word 'family,' Ahn Hyun's eyes wavered uncontrollably. I didn't miss that reaction. I took a swig of the remaining liquid in the bottle to wet my throat, then immediately continued with what I had prepared to say.
“I gave up on the Golden Lion, but you guys were in the same boat. You turned down offers from mid-sized clans. Let's be frank, what did I have back then? I was a broke Year 0 User with nothing but the two gold coins I got from the User Academy. Even so, you followed me without complaint, and at the plaza, you emptied your pockets and gave me your gold. How do you think I felt then?”
“Hyung….”
“Hyun-ah. Think about it. You, me, Sol, and Yoojung—we've been together all the way from the Rite of Passage. We're not strangers anymore. That's why I can't just stand by and watch. Because I know that if things continue like this, something will happen to Ahn Sol someday. Knowing that, should I just leave things be simply because you don't want to talk about it?”
Ahn Hyun slowly, very slowly, shook his head. It felt less like a conscious decision and more like a reflex.
This was the last push. I looked Ahn Hyun straight in the eye. And I spoke quietly.
“Hyun-ah. Stop running away. Let's face this together. I'll help you. Just like I always have. Okay?”
“Ah….”
At my words, Ahn Hyun looked speechless. The corners of his eyes trembled and his lips quivered, as if he were about to burst into tears. I didn't avoid his gaze.
Soon, the wind died down completely, and our surroundings became so quiet I could even hear him breathe. Suddenly, I felt a searing heat between the fingers of my right hand. I reflexively glanced down and saw that the cigarette, which I hadn't taken a single puff of, had burned all the way down to my skin. Just as I quickly dropped it, a low voice came from in front of me.
“Ha…. You’re right.”
“?”
I looked back at Ahn Hyun's face. How could I even describe it? His eyes were blank, his mouth agape. He looked drained of all strength. At first glance, he seemed relieved, but from another angle, he looked as if he were possessed.
“You’re right, Hyung. Sol… for her age, her behavior was a little—no, a lot—strange.”
Ahn Hyun had finally started to talk. He had revealed a small crack in his tightly shut heart. To open that crack wider, I responded immediately.
“Yeah. I had a rough idea there was a problem. But it's not something to be ashamed of, is it? Everyone these days has at least one….”
“No, no. Hyung. It's not like that. It's not like that at all.”
And in that moment, Ahn Hyun's eyes flashed. Then, he let out a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. He followed it with an empty laugh and continued.
“It's not on that level…. The severity of Sol's condition… it's not something you can wrap up in nice words like that. Yes. That's right. My Sol… she has a mental disorder.”
She really did seem mentally ill.
Ko Yeonju's words from the past suddenly flashed through my mind.
“…Does Sol know about it too?”
“She's probably aware of it. We've taken her to the hospital a few times. But she probably doesn't know why she became this way.”
What does that mean? I looked up with a puzzled expression and saw Ahn Hyun's bitter face. He slowly parted his lips.
“She lost her memory once, a few years ago. Not all of it, just parts. If you had asked Ahn Sol, she probably wouldn't have been able to answer properly. It's not that she wouldn't, but that she couldn't.”
“What…?”
Memory loss…?
For me, who had assumed it was an intellectual disability at worst, this was completely unexpected. Ignoring my reaction, Ahn Hyun continued to speak.
“Looking back, I think we went to a lot of hospitals. I don't know much about psychology myself, but we visited many, and each one gave a different diagnosis. Schizophrenia. Dissociative disorder. Mood disorder. Delusional disorder. Trauma. Hysterical neurosis. Or that it was due to extreme stress. Haha… But apparently, that's how it is. They said the human mind is just that profound, and Sol's case is especially complex, so it's difficult to give a final diagnosis with modern psychiatry.”
“…I see. What did you mean by memory loss?”
“Ah… Hyung. Have you ever heard of dissociative amnesia? Ah. Or was it psychogenic amnesia?”
I managed a nod. I didn't know the details, but I knew the general symptoms. Simply put, it's a disorder where one can't recall important past memories. In severe cases, it can be accompanied by symptoms like confusion, depression, anxiety, age regression, suicidal urges, and difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
I immediately snapped to my senses. And thinking that what came next was crucial, I quickly controlled my expression.
“Ahn Sol…. Then what happened to her?”
“What happened…. Right….”
“Then what on earth did she go through to develop such a mental disorder?”
Ahn Hyun didn't answer right away. He just stared down at the ground with a heavy expression. But that only lasted a moment. His gaze seemed to turn sorrowful as if trying to recall something, then he slowly raised his head to look up at me. And so, our eyes met in the empty air.
Finally, Ahn Hyun's lips parted.