Chapter 112: A Dark Past
Chapter 112: A Dark Past
She was not weak. But right now, in front of me, she was showing her weakness. I, too, had many things I wanted to say to her. But for now, I thought it best to hear her out first. This wasn't how I wanted to meet and talk, and it felt a little premature, but a part of me also thought that if we had to have this conversation eventually, it might be better to get it over with.
I gave a single nod of assent, and a faint smile touched her lips.
“Before that, there’s something I want to ask. How do you usually see me?”
I couldn’t yet grasp the intent behind Jung Hayeon’s question, but I didn’t have to think long. Just as I had revealed a part of my true feelings to her through the Crystal of Truth, she was now trying to reveal her inner self to me. I was suddenly reminded of her reaction to the Golden Lion Clan back at the ruined laboratory.
“I think you’re a clever and skilled mage.”
“And?”
“You’re always calm and like to solve problems logically. It’s true you have your own standards, but you also seem to have a degree of flexibility.”
“Yes. And?”
“…You have a clear voice.”
“Heh. And?”
I closed my mouth and simply watched her with a steady gaze. At a glance, Jung Hayeon’s face seemed to be smiling. But looking closer, only her lips were curved into a thin arc, while her eyes were deeply submerged in shadow. I said nothing more.
“…Everyone has a side they show to the world, and an inner self that only they know.”
“There are people whose inside and outside match.”
“No. I used to believe no such person existed. Even if there were similar people, I thought no one was exactly the same. But after meeting you, my belief was shattered for the first time.”
“……”
I let out a low groan. Of course, I sympathized with her words. There was a time when I thought the same way. In a way, I felt a little sorry for her. What on earth had happened to make her so disappointed in herself, and in others?
“There’s not a single reason to doubt it. I know the effects of the Crystal of Truth all too well, and your sincerity held not a shred of falsehood. A person whose outward actions and inner self are one and the same… It’s just so amazing that someone like you exists in this world.”
I felt a brief sting of guilt but quickly composed myself. I didn’t feel sorry. The fact that my feelings for my brother and Han Soyoung were genuine was enough for me to endure any shame.
Jung Hayeon once again filled her glass to the brim, moistened her lips with her tongue, and continued.
“I believe I’ve told you this before. If there’s even a slightly suspicious part, I make sure to address it. That’s my creed for living in the Hall Plain. Do you know why I adopted such a cold motto?”
“I don’t.”
“A year ago, I was a member of the Golden Lion Clan.”
She said it directly, with no preamble or beating around the bush. Yes. This is the Jung Hayeon I know. Sensing that she was finally getting to the main point, I focused more intently on her words. She closed her eyes for a moment as if to organize her thoughts, then opened them and spoke in her usual clear voice.
“You’re not surprised. Good. I had a feeling you noticed back then anyway. In any case, when the others told me you had rejected the Golden Lion Clan, it felt… strange.”
“Entrusting yourself to a clan with no future is just crazy.”
“A clan with no future… Who could possibly say that about the current Golden Lion Clan? But I agree with your opinion.”
She paused for a moment, her expression distant. It was the face of someone lost in memory. It wasn’t long before she spoke again.
“The Golden Lion Clan has a long history. The Clan Lord who died during the conquest of Barbara was a Year 8 User, so the clan itself can be considered to be in its twelfth year now. Considering how few Users survive in the Hall Plain for more than ten years, it is an organization with a fairly continuous lineage. Yes. I do not know what they were like then… but they changed once they conquered Barbara, established themselves, and began accumulating power. I was not there in those days, of course, but I believe I have earned the right to judge them.”
“……”
“I came to the Hall Plain two years ago with my younger sister. It was when the Golden Lion Clan was at its peak. I was in my last year of university, and I was brought here without any explanation. I was terrified. Dropped into a place called the Rite of Passage, facing monsters I’d only seen in movies, my life threatened, and the fact that I couldn’t go home. It was then that I met another User who had been dropped into the Rite of Passage with me.”
Jung Hayeon’s words felt so sad that I wanted to say something, anything. But she just shook her head, stopping me. At her reaction, I sighed and closed my mouth, which had been halfway open.
“That User was truly amazing. He was handsome, tall, well-built, and had an air of nobility. He was the kind of person who fit perfectly into the fantasies of a young, dreamy university student. Not only that, but he became the leader of the people who were dropped there with us and led us to escape that hellish Rite of Passage. And seeing him like that, I couldn’t help but fall for him. His skills were incredible for the time, and he lacked nothing. He was especially good with a bow; whatever he shot, it was a bullseye. If he’d been on a white horse, he would have been a prince on a white horse.”
So he was also a Year 2 User, and he was skilled with a bow. Several Users came to mind, but none fit her description. The Golden Lion Clan had no shortage of archers, and honestly, among the famous ones, I could barely remember anyone below Seon Yuun, who had reached the rank of Strong.
“After escaping the Rite of Passage, we entered the User Academy together. And there, too, he distinguished himself. It wasn’t easy to graduate at the top of the User Academy as an archer. Until then, I believed I would always be with him, so I practiced and practiced. I didn’t want to hold him back. Then came the long-awaited graduation day. He received an offer from the Golden Lion Clan, earning the envy of all the new Users. And at the same time, my dream came true as well.”
“Your dream?”
“To always be with him. On graduation day, with everyone watching, he walked up to me, took my hand, and said he wanted to go together. That he wanted to be with me from now on. It seems he asked the Golden Lion Clan to let him bring one more person. My grades at the time weren’t bad, but honestly, they weren’t good enough to get into that clan. Nevertheless, the Golden Lion Clan’s scout readily nodded. Yes. Back then, I was just a beginner and happily followed him, but maybe following him then was the beginning of all my troubles… Ha.”
Jung Hayeon paused and let out a short sigh. I quickly poured more alcohol into her empty glass. With that pour, the bottle was completely empty. She drank the alcohol I poured in one gulp. After wetting her throat, she moistened her lips with her tongue and let out a hollow laugh.
“The other Users from the Rite of Passage and my sister couldn’t join. They said they barely even spoke to the others after entering the User Academy. But I could understand. No, I was actually happy. I had worked hard and become a User worthy of him. You all lacked the skill, so you weren’t chosen by him. Of course, my sister was a bit of a concern, but Jiyeon was considerate of me. Feeling like a princess, I entered the Golden Lion Clan with him. I loved that he treated me as someone special; it was so thrilling.”
For a moment, I thought of the unique ability, Charisma. A User as cool-headed as her was that captivated? If he was a User with Charisma… no. It was also possible she hadn’t developed her current rational demeanor back then. I pushed the thoughts flooding my mind to a corner. She was speaking again.
“…I’ve been talking for too long. I’ll finish soon. To cut a long story short, my life in that clan was anything but happy. The Users who got in on pure skill looked down on me, and the other new Users were all jealous of me. There were rumors that I had given him my body in exchange for entry… I even heard them whispering behind my back, calling me a whore. From above, and from below. I didn’t have a single person on my side.”
“Didn’t that User stand up for you?”
At my question, she gritted her teeth. She bit down so hard I could clearly hear the sound of her teeth grinding. After clenching her jaw and biting her lip for a while, she let out another deep sigh. She lowered her head, her gaze falling to the floor as she spoke.
“It was one night. My body and mind were exhausted, and I lay down to sleep, but that day, the other Users sharing my dorm didn't come back. I thought it was strange, but I didn't have the energy to care about such details. A little later, I heard the door open. Already in bed, I assumed it was my roommate and kept my eyes closed. And in that moment, the User who entered climbed onto my bed and threw his heavy body on top of me.”
“Don’t tell me…”
“Startled, I tried to get up, but the man who entered violently tore at my clothes. I fought back desperately. I would not normally have been overpowered so easily, but perhaps I had been caught off guard—or perhaps I was simply lucky. The Rapid Incantation I had been practicing happened to succeed. The attacker was blasted away with a loud crash. Only then did I regain my senses and look up. The man who had attacked me was bleeding all over. He was none other than the recruiter who had visited the User Academy, and the moment he saw me, he flew into a rage.”
“He got angry?”
“Yes. I was the one who should have been angry, but I was just dumbfounded. At that time, he said something like this: ‘What the hell? Didn’t you and that guy already sort this out?’”
The moment I heard her last words, I frowned. That one sentence was enough for me to guess the whole story. Seeing my reaction, she smiled. But that smile was so bitter, so lonely.
“Yes. What you are imagining is probably correct. The Golden Lion Clan was thrown into an uproar that day. I had done nothing wrong during my time there; I had quietly followed every instruction the clan gave me. Apart from the rumors circulating around me, I had given them no grounds to criticize me. Yet that was all. As time passed, the incident was buried, and the people above me told me to let it go quietly, making it clear that I should consider myself lucky not to have been expelled. On the day the matter was officially buried, the User who had survived the Rite of Passage with me and brought me into the clan summoned me.”
If it was like that two years ago, I can imagine what it’s like now. They had certainly failed a major expedition, but they had also collapsed far too easily afterward. Two years later, I could guess how rotten the inside had become without even seeing or hearing it.
“I still thought he was the only one on my side, so I wanted to be comforted. I went to him with a sad face, and the moment he saw me, he spat out one cold sentence.”
“…What did he say?”
“‘You stupid bitch. I thought you were smart, but you’re just an idiot.’”
“Yes. That’s enough. You don’t have to say any more. I understand the situation perfectly.”
That sealed it. Thinking this was the right place to stop, I raised my hand to cut Jung Hayeon off. But despite my consideration, she shook her head fiercely. Her glossy bobbed hair swayed beautifully from side to side. Seeing her resolute will to continue, I had no choice but to lower my hand.
“We fought and argued terribly then. It was the first time since I’d been with him that I talked back so fiercely. In the end, I clung to him with a tear-filled voice, asking how he could do this to me, but he just criticized me in the same cold tone. ‘Because of you, I’ve fallen out of the scout’s favor. Do you know how much power that man holds here? Protecting your chastity in the Hall Plain is a foolish thing to do. You have to do whatever it takes to survive. Why can’t you understand how I feel?’… After a long lecture that was part persuasion, he left me there, sitting on the floor and crying. All he did was toss out that he would try to talk to the scout again, and that I should face reality.”
“Jung Hayeon-ssi.”
“I’m almost done. Just a little, a little more. I don’t even remember how I got back to my room after that. I spent three days and nights crying and sobbing. But even then, I still couldn’t see reality. Not the reality he was talking about, but the reality I was seeing. A part of me still wanted to believe in him. In the end, after a long time, I decided to accept his words. It was true that there were a certain number of female Users around who lived like that, and the concept of chastity was weaker in the Hall Plain compared to modern society. I imagined things on my own. ‘He’s doing all this for me. Once he’s established, he’ll be able to accept me again.’ With such self-justification, which was nothing but a vain delusion, I composed myself and got up.”
“That was foolish.”
She immediately agreed with my criticism.
“Yes. I admit it. Thinking back now, it was really foolish. It’s not something to be proud of, but I had never been with a man before. As such, I had a sort of fantasy about my first time. That I wanted it to be with the person I loved. So I got up right then, got ready, and made myself as pretty as possible. I waited for night to fall, snuck out of my room, and went to find his. I thought that if I at least gave him my first time, it could serve as a sliver of comfort for the pain I would endure in the life ahead. With that, I steeled my resolve and went to the door of his dorm. I placed my hand on the doorknob. But then…”
Recalling that memory, Jung Hayeon’s lips trembled as if in agony. Her hands were shaking, and her eyes were trembling violently. It looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment, but she seemed to be holding it back. After taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she continued in a choked voice.
“The moment I stood in front of the door, I heard a faint sound from inside the room. Yes. It was the sound of a man and a woman moaning. With my hand on the doorknob, I stood there blankly for a long time, my hand trembling. Then, feeling as if I were possessed, I slightly opened the door. And inside that room… as expected, he and a female User were exploring each other’s bodies. And the moment I opened the door.”
At that moment, Jung Hayeon stopped speaking, and I had the illusion of a blue flame igniting in her eyes. The fury burning so clearly made me swallow nervously as I waited for her next words.
“The female User lying beneath him looked up, and our eyes met.”