The Blue Light Dream Crumbles Away (2)
It was only a few days after they had sealed the alliance and returned to Anel Castle that Parfalle first noticed something was wrong with Lin.
"Zeiland Castle, my lord…?"
"That's right! I'm going to capture Lunarien myself."
With a look of pure, almost childlike innocence and a voice brimming with confidence, she declared that she would invade the Lunarien Army—a force that had already been wiped out long ago.
"I… I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean."
"What? Parfalle, haven't you even been keeping up with the situation? It's about time we unified the western continent, isn't it?"
"No, what I mean is… the western continent is already under our Brans Army's—"
"What are you talking about, Parfalle? Even a sharp girl like you can say the dumbest things. Sure, the western continent is as good as in our hands already. There's nothing left out there but a bunch of weak little stragglers, right?"
"…What do you mean by that…"
Parfalle carefully studied her lord's face.
A nauseating sense of wrongness. The absolute certainty that they were no longer speaking the same language.
And then—
Wait. The Lunarien Army… could it be…
In a voice that trembled ever so slightly, Parfalle ventured a careful question.
"My lord… if I may be so bold, might I ask why you intend to invade the Lunarien Army?"
"Hmm? Oh, right. I haven't told you yet, have I? So, not long ago, someone from that country came to propose a ceasefire. You know—that battle where that stupid woman couldn't even take a single castle."
"…"
"The man who came to see me then… he looked absolutely delicious…♡ I want to put him under me and test him out as soon as possible. Gathering talent is more important than anything when you're about to unify a continent, don't you think?"
—Ah.
The moment her half-formed suspicions hardened into fact, Parfalle could not stop a quiet gasp from escaping her lips.
"My lord…!!"
When Lin, who had shut herself in her chambers after their return and refused to do anything or speak to anyone, had suddenly announced that she would resume handling state affairs, Parfalle had breathed a sigh of pure relief.
At last, she had thought, her lord had pulled herself together. The lost territories still ached, but if they started over carefully from here, they had more than enough strength left to recover.
The northern threat had been cut off. Enough time had passed that the pool of conscriptable men had grown again. The Aesus Army in the east, the southern nations—all of them seemed manageable enough.
That was what she had believed.
"Right. We'll prepare to march immediately. About eighty thousand troops, and for the vanguard… Brother Chel should do, don't you think?"
"My lord, that's—"
"I know, I know. Parfalle, I can already tell what you're about to say. You want me to make good use of that woman, right? Fine. She's probably just sitting around guarding the walls right now with nothing better to do. I'll call her up and put her in the vanguard too, just like you want. Happy now?"
Watching Lin smile with the same self-assured confidence she had worn in the days of her glory, Parfalle felt a despair deeper than anything she had ever known.
Once Parfalle realized that something was deeply wrong with her lord, the first thing she did was quietly obey Lin's orders—and then remove her from the center of political power.
If word reached the subordinate officers that their sovereign intended to march out and crush a long-dead minor nation, the resulting chaos would be impossible to explain away.
So they moved to Zeiland Castle as ordered. Then, under the pretext of a search, Parfalle had Lin installed in a separate annex and kept her hidden there until she recovered her senses. Every one of those decisions had been Parfalle's alone.
Lady Lin…
How had that brilliant woman fallen so far?
She had pleaded with physicians—even with the few remaining figures of the religious orders who had already all but vanished from public life—doing everything in her power to bring Lin back to herself. But it was no easy task.
Her symptoms resembled those of a senile old man, yet she was far too young for that to make any sense.
Her pride, so much fiercer than anyone else's, had simply refused to endure the humiliations she had suffered. It had erased them all, rewritten them as if they had never happened—and in that state, there was nothing left for her to do.
If only there were magic, perhaps something could still be done.
But Swen, who had once shown them miracles, was no longer at their side.
And so all she could do now was pray—pray that Lin, who had settled into this fragile calm, might one day recover as suddenly as she had broken.
"Honestly, Swen is so shy. I wonder how long he plans to keep hiding. It's not like I'm going to kill him. If he just came to me, I'd dote on him more than anyone else. If he wants women, I'll give him as many as he likes. I'll even grant him a decent amount of power, so long as he serves me. Don't you think so, Parfalle?"
"…Yes, my lord."
"That woman isn't deliberately half-assing the search, is she? She keeps spouting nonsense at me about tracking down Lunarien for no reason. The idiot doesn't even understand what matters right now. Anyway, talk some sense into her. Tell her there'll be a reward if she finds Swen."
"Understood, my lord."
"Good. How are things looking right now?"
"At present… our forces are steadily occupying the western continent. We should be able to complete the conquest soon. The Serpina Army has shown no particular movement."
Lin beamed at Parfalle's report.
"Really? That's a relief. I've been worried about leaving Anel Castle empty for so long. We need to find Swen quickly and get back… When I see him, I'll have to dote on him two or three times as much as usual. Making me come all the way out here and then keeping me waiting like this… Hehehe…♡"
"…Yes, my lord."
"All right. You can go. I'll stay here and think about what our army should do next. Now then…"
Speaking in that breezy, carefree tone, Lin stood, unrolled a map, and began scribbling something with a quill while muttering to herself.
Parfalle said nothing more. She quietly left the room and closed the door behind her.
"You've arrived?"
To the priest waiting outside the door, Parfalle handed over a purse of money she had prepared in advance.
The priest accepted it with a deeply benevolent expression, then clasped his hands together and bowed.
"Let us pray, Lady Parfalle. May the gods look kindly upon Lady Lin Brans…"
"…"
May the gods look kindly upon her.
The very fact that they had come to this point already felt like proof that the gods had abandoned them, and a hollow laugh nearly rose in her throat. But in the end, a priest's prayers were all she had left to lean on.
Please.
Please, let her return as the brilliant Lady Lin of old.
No—even if not that, so long as she came back as the Lady Lin who could still tell right from wrong…
Clinging to that empty hope, Parfalle slowly left the annex behind.
Several days had already passed since she had been installed in the annex.
Sick of the endless stream of useless progress reports, Lin spent her time alone, muttering complaints under her breath.
"Why is this taking so long? That stupid woman can't even find one person—what's she dragging her feet for?"
She needed to find Swen quickly, go home, and devote herself to governing the realm. She had never imagined she would be stuck wasting this much time in such a worthless little castle.
For reasons she couldn't name, her vision kept feeling cramped and stifled, and a restless urgency kept chasing her—the sense that she had to do something, anything, right away. With no improvement in sight, the frustration was almost unbearable.
"This is all because that stupid woman can't handle her job properly."
If there was one phrase she kept returning to, it was that one: that stupid woman.
The red-haired female knight who had sworn her loyalty with unwavering stubbornness, no matter what Lin did to her.
"That woman was always so frustrating, but she was at least decent at searching for things. So… her name was…"
But…
For some reason, she could not remember the woman's name.
"Wait. Come to think of it… what was that woman's name?"
Something she had never once noticed through all her endless complaining.
The moment she became aware of that woman's name—
Lin felt a sudden, bone-deep chill run through her.
It was as if… remembering this one thing would solve everything.
And from the moment she began to think about it, the stifling haze that had clouded her vision seemed to clear.
Slowly, Lin focused her thoughts on that "stupid woman."
"The one who always… swore her loyalty to me."
"My lord. ■■■■ ■■■■■■■ has just arrived."
Slap!
"What do you think you're doing? If you'd taken the castle faster, we never would have suffered this humiliation. How many more days do you need?"
"I am sorry, my lord. It is my own inadequacy that caused us to fail in taking the castle."
"The one who never complained, even when she was treated unfairly."
"Why do you keep telling me what to do? I already said we don't need to pursue them. Are you defying me? Bored because you haven't bloodied your sword today? Want me to use yours instead?"
"…No, my lord. I apologize."
"The one who never stopped offering me advice, even when I refused to listen."
Go on, then. Earn some merit, ■■■■. Prove you're more than just talk.
"The one who obeyed me even when I drove her into certain death…"
I…
With my own hands—I tried to drive her to her death.
Her name.
That stupid woman.
The name of that foolish girl who knew nothing except how to obey me—
"Yes! A■■■■ J■■■■■■ will do everything in her power to bring my lord good news, as ordered!"
"■■ren Ju■■■■e of the vanguard. I am truly delighted to be able to deliver news of victory this time."
"I, Ai■■ Ju■■ette, will gladly become the shield that protects my lord. Command me as you will."
"—Airen."
Tears spilled freely from her blue eyes, meeting no resistance at all.
"Airen… Airen…"
The instant she spoke the name—
the tears came without pause.
And with them came the full awareness of what she had done to that woman.
I…
I hurt Airen.
Airen, who had given me her absolute loyalty—Airen, whom even Father had told me to value highly—I drove her into a death trap over nothing but worthless pride. I tried to kill her.
And as a result, I lost her. I lost Swen too. Lin had gained nothing, repeating one foolish choice after another, until the Brans Army's momentum began to collapse entirely.
"It was… it was all my fault… Airen…"
Tears fell one by one onto the floor, and nothing else.
She cried for a long time, then looked around her.
This place was an annex.
The annex of Zeiland Castle.
I came here… to destroy the Lunarien Army and take Swen prisoner so I could recruit him…?
…Huh?
Wait.
Why… why was I trying to destroy the Lunarien Army, which was already long gone?
"…!!!!"
The moment she consciously formed the words already long gone, every memory came flooding back into her mind.
Everything she had done.
Everything that had come of it.
"Ahh…!!"
Her legs gave out. Lin sank to the floor where she stood and wept again.
The one she should have been desperately searching for—the one she needed to beg forgiveness from—was not Swen.
Not Swen… but Airen.
She was the one who had thrown away the final chance Swen had given her.
Even knowing she had wronged Airen, she had kept turning her eyes from the truth until the very end, telling herself that if she could just get Swen back, everything would somehow work out—and that was why she had ended up here, wasting manpower and squandering her days for nothing!
"No… I can't fall apart like this…"
She could not undo what had already been done… but she could not simply sit here and collapse either.
Lin had to see Airen again. She had to.
She had no intention of asking the woman to serve her once more. Nothing like that.
She simply wanted to apologize. Somehow. She had no hope of being forgiven—but she wanted to tell her she was truly, deeply sorry.
It was the first time.
The first time Lin had stripped away that inexplicable hatred for Airen and genuinely wanted to apologize to her.
Only after being shoved to the very bottom of the abyss of ruin, only after hitting the floor hard enough to break—did her mind begin to work the way it once had.