Chapter 180
Chapter 180
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 181
Chapter Title: Cheongwol Rises (6)
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“...You’re going to the Yeongcheon crew?”
At Han Seojin’s question, Cheongwol nodded her head.
“This place feels way too suffocating to me.”
Contrary to her expectation that he would be even more shocked, Han Seojin surprisingly accepted the fact of her leaving quite well.
As if he had anticipated this all along.
Even that appearance wounded Cheongwol.
In that pain, she let go of her lingering attachment once more.
“...Let’s meet again next time, Shopkeeper. We’ll definitely see each other again. I’ll come find you.”
Cheongwol said that and turned her body away again.
But Han Seojin grabbed her wrist once more.
-Tak!
“...Why?”
“...”
Han Seojin still wore a confused expression, even to himself.
An expression of not knowing what he himself was doing.
“...Cheongwol, there’s something I need to apologize for. The truth is, I’m not getting married. It was all a lie.”
Cheongwol’s eyes slowly widened.
She waited a long time to see if Han Seojin was joking, but he did not take back his words.
“...Why did you tell such a lie?”
“To push you away.”
Cheongwol let out a hollow laugh.
Today really was the worst day.
Tears burst forth even more... but what was the use now?
“Why? Why did you try to push me away? We were friends.”
“Did you really believe that? How could a nobody like me be friends with a superhuman like you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean!! What more did I have to do for you to believe in me!!”
Cheongwol could no longer hold back her surging emotions and shouted.
“Shopkeeper...! When the Yeongcheon group approached, do you know who I endured it all for? It was you, Shopkeeper... Because you were there, I could hold on longer! When will you ever show me your true feelings!!”
“Have you always shown me your true feelings? We’ve both hidden a lot from each other.”
“...!!”
She had no words for that.
Burying the Chujonghyang. Following him every day. Killing more people than Han Seojin realized.
Sometimes having lewd and violent thoughts...
The things she had hidden—he might have sensed them all along.
“There’s always been a barrier between us. Don’t pretend you didn’t see it and ignore it. We definitely haven’t shown each other our true selves. You first—tell me. Did you really think of me as a friend?”
...Had she thought of him as a friend?
Or had her feelings run even deeper?
Cheongwol found it hard to put that feeling into words, so she chose silence once more.
“...”
“...Right. But you’re right too. I’ve never shown you my true feelings either. Do you want my true feelings?”
Han Seojin said in that moment.
“I’ll tell you. I... don’t trust you, Cheongwol.”
Those words struck like a shock, shattering Cheongwol’s heart.
“I’m scared. I always have been. From the moment you slaughtered people right in front of me... I kept feeling it. Because it might turn into me someday. Because I believed the you I know... would become that kind of being.”
“Eung... Eung...”
-Drip...
Tears continued to pour.
The more precious he was to her, the deeper the pain.
In truth, Han Seojin’s words weren’t wrong.
It was a truth that even Cheongwol had known but tried her best to ignore.
Martial artists who had trained for years crumbled before her, so for Han Seojin, who had never even held a sword, she was far too easy a target.
They had both known, but pretended not to.
“Look at you even now. You’re trying to go to the Yeongcheon crew. You’re even abandoning your sect...! With you like this, how can I trust you?”
-Sring!!
In that pain, Cheongwol finally drew her sword.
And she stepped back, putting distance between herself and Han Seojin.
“I get it. I understand... Hic... everything...”
This kind of farewell was perhaps for the best.
“...Shopkeeper. You make things harder for me. You’re my only...”
...hope.
“...So stop now. I understand everything, so stop making me hurt. I just want to leave, so stop talking.”
“No.”
But Han Seojin did not listen. Just like when they played games, he refused to heed her “no.”
“...Hoo...”
He let out a deep sigh.
For the first time, she saw his hands trembling slightly.
She could finally see that he truly feared her.
Han Seojin approached Cheongwol, who had her sword pointed at him.
Cheongwol raised her sword higher, threatening him as he drew near.
“Stop coming closer. I’ll really cut you. I... don’t want this anymore.”
“I’ve never trusted you. That would have been foolish. But I’ll be foolish just once.”
“...What?”
“I’m going to bet on you.”
“...?”
“If I support you with all I have... you won’t go astray. I’ll believe that just once. I’ll gamble my life on it.”
Han Seojin kept approaching.
Cheongwol assumed the stance of the Extermination Sword, aiming at his throat.
-Sss...
Han Seojin spread his arms wide and continued forward.
The sword tip pierced Han Seojin’s throat.
-Puk...
“I told you to stop!!”
Blood began to flow from his throat.
But even as his hands trembled, Han Seojin did not stop.
“Kill me if you’re going to. I’m tired of being scared. I said I’d gamble my life, right?”
Cheongwol’s sword did not listen to her.
It was far harder to resist his touch than when she had broken Damhye’s staff.
If he came any closer, Han Seojin would die.
...Cheongwol knew she couldn’t endure that future.
-Srung... Thud.
In the end, the sword slipped from her hand and fell to the ground.
Han Seojin continued.
“You couldn’t even stay well at the Emei Sect, you like slaughter...! Even though you’ve been marked by the Yeongcheon crew, I’ll still bet on you.”
“...What do you want me to do!!”
“Don’t leave. From now on, I’ll only show you my true self.”
His trembling hands spoke those words.
Even with those words, the Emei Sect’s rules held her back.
Becoming a nun meant... putting distance between herself and Han Seojin in the end.
That suffocating prison tightened around her.
Cheongwol shook her head.
“...No? I won’t listen to everything you say, Shopkeeper. I hate the Emei Sect!! I hate it now... I don’t want to end up hollow inside like Nun Damhye. I don’t want to live like that.”
“I’m talking to you right now. Not to the Emei Sect’s second-generation disciple Cheongwol.”
“...What?”
“I’m still scared of Cheongwol. I hate martial artists, and that won’t change. This is me showing you my unfiltered true feelings. If you’re the Emei Sect’s Cheongwol, I’ll fear you just like always.”
“...”
Only then did she feel it.
Han Seojin was truly laying everything bare, without hiding a thing.
His sincerity hurt, but that very reason made it all the more trustworthy.
He was telling her: you reveal yourself too.
It was similar to when they played games. He was asking her to show their ugly sides to each other.
“People are scary. Cheongwol is scary. But...”
Han Seojin let out a hollow laugh.
“...Yeah, if it’s a puppy, I wouldn’t be scared.”
At that out-of-left-field remark, her thoughts froze for a moment, but soon Cheongwol understood that Han Seojin was desperately reaching out to her.
He was forcing it out, enduring the embarrassment.
This was a conversation only Cheongwol could understand.
A story based on the two of them and their games.
Her neck already bore Han Seojin’s collar.
“Eung... Euk...”
Cheongwol shed tears once more.
In the face of his honesty, she was losing her strength too.
She could instinctively feel that falling into his arms would be far more comfortable and at ease than leaving.
She knew that this current burning passion was far better than the cold gaze she’d receive from him later.
She just had to endure the embarrassment.
Just like he had admitted his fear and endured his own shame.
All she had to do was accept the humiliation of submitting to the man she had been angry with.
“I’ve shown you all my cards. Now it’s just your choice.”
“Hic... Euk...”
“Even if you leave, I won’t say a word. Even if you kill me and go, it’ll just be my gamble failing. So choose. Are you heading to Yeongcheon’s crew?”
Cheongwol felt her legs gradually losing strength.
“Eung... Hic...!”
She had never wanted to go to the Yeongcheon crew.
She had simply hated the Emei Sect that much. It had been suffocating, painful, infuriating.
But now there was a third option.
Of course, then...
“Hic!”
Like a puppy, Cheongwol crumpled to her knees and hugged Han Seojin’s waist.
The moment he had clashed with his true feelings like this, she had no other path.
-Kwak!
She buried her face in his stomach and kept crying.
This time too, she had submitted.
“Eung...! Eung!”
Han Seojin strongly embraced her like that.
His hands were still trembling, but Cheongwol understood this was just the beginning.
Han Seojin had said he hated Cheongwol.
Cheongwol hated Cheongwol too.
The self created by the Emei Sect was too unnatural and hypocritical.
The dharma name she had taken to protect herself had at some point become her prison.
Suddenly, she recalled the day she had resolved to enter the Emei Sect.
The day her parents both died, and the day she met Muwol Satae.
At Muwol Satae’s offer to come to the Emei Sect with her, Cheongwol had nodded.
‘What is your name?’
‘...It’s...’
‘The moon sets, and Cheongwol rises. From now on, your dharma name is Cheongwol.’
In Han Seojin’s arms, she did not want to be Cheongwol. Han Seojin had said he hated that.
Because of that, she could recall her forgotten birth name.
The name that meant beautiful sunset glow.
“...Chaeha.”
“What?”
It was her way of repaying Han Seojin’s faith.
A name no one, not a soul, knew.
The name that had worn away and vanished within Muwol Satae and herself.
The fragile name she had forgotten in her desire to become the Emei Sect’s proud heroine.
She was handing that name to Han Seojin like a treasure.
It was a promise to be her raw self before him—not an Emei Sect disciple.
“Shopkeeper... My real name is Chaeha. In front of you... I’m not the Cheongwol you fear.”
Only then did Han Seojin’s trembling hands pause for a moment.
Cheongwol had great martial prowess, but Chaeha couldn’t even kill a bug.
Cheongwol was the Emei Sect’s product, but Chaeha was not.
If Cheongwol was the heroine who had fought to become strong... Chaeha was the girl still trembling from the pain of losing her parents.
He smiled faintly for a moment, then whispered as if calling a puppy.
“Chaeha... Yeah, it’s a pretty name.”
Hearing her own name from someone else sent chills racing through her body.
No one else could understand the emotion she felt now.
Cheongwol felt as if only he and she existed in the world.
Before Han Seojin, she could escape the Emei Sect. That sense of liberation was truly indescribable.
...Ah. Aah.
She could finally breathe.