Chapter 170
Chapter 170
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 170
Chapter Title: Pretending Not to See Even Though I Saw (3)
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Dokgo Jinmuk's proposal became an opportunity for Cheongwol to reflect on herself.
As a Buddhist, she had believed she must uphold the Five Precepts for life.
The patience and restraint etched into her body like habit.
That patience had cracked for a moment.
-Tak...
Cheongwol pressed her forehead against the rising desire.
“Haa... haa...”
The fantasies flashing through her mind were all too explicit and vivid.
Stripped of her Buddhist facade, she felt utterly ugly and filthy even to herself.
Yet that ugliness was sweet.
Hidden deep within her, it was still her own desire.
There was no way she could hate it.
Her thoughts stretched on endlessly.
She wondered if she had truly craved so much.
Dokgo Jinmuk continued.
“If you cast off your chains and choose freedom, imagine how brilliant the future you could grasp.”
“...Haa... haa...”
“How those inferior to us have brainwashed us all this time. Nun, a bright future awaits. Stop living so obsequiously. Rip off your prayer beads, smash your Buddha statue, discard the Five Precepts, and seize the life you truly desire.”
She felt once more just how heavy the burdens she had shouldered had been.
The temptation was hard to shake.
Dokgo Jinmuk smiled.
“We do not judge personal desires. We will fulfill any wish. So, join us now.”
Her heart pounded wildly.
Another crossroads of choice approached.
“How... can I trust you?”
That question might have been Cheongwol's final act of desperation.
“Shall I write a blood oath? Or must we destroy the Emei Sect together for you to believe? If you wish, we can slaughter your companions right now.”
Cheongwol let out a cold sneer.
“You?”
“Killing a few unchosen juniors is hardly difficult.”
Cheongwol narrowed her eyes and shot back.
“Do you... even know who our master is?”
Soun was accompanying them on this journey.
She was the leader, the protector ensuring everyone's safety.
Only after mentioning Soun did Dokgo Jinmuk's eyes flicker slightly.
“Little Heavenly Sword Soun. Well, she might be tricky... but that just means taking her down first makes the rest easy, doesn't it? For the greater cause, I'll step in. If needed, Nun Cheongwol can assist me.”
They knew of her master.
At the very least, they weren't acting without understanding the gravity of their actions.
They exuded confidence despite knowing.
Then perhaps...
...if there was truly something she desired.
‘...I hate murim folk.’
-Uh!
Cheongwol's body stiffened at the sudden voice.
It was similar to that time in Yeongcheon.
...No.
This time, Cheongwol tried to ignore the voice.
Who told you to abandon me and choose Gayeong?
Who decided that? This is betrayal.
Shopkeeper... Shopkeeper, I...
‘Cheongwol. You don't like me, do you?’
-Uh!
Cheongwol trembled again.
Her rigid body blinked.
Ah.
Enlightenment dawned.
Very belated enlightenment.
At that realization, Cheongwol gripped her sword lightly.
Dokgo Jinmuk's gaze brushed past that small movement.
He glanced at the sword, then back at Cheongwol.
His expression showed he understood her choice.
“Not in the mood for jokes.”
“...Go back.”
Shaking off the deep temptation, Cheongwol whispered with lingering reluctance.
“My answer is the same. I'm not going.”
It means nothing.
“Why?”
“...If even I can't be convinced by you, how could you convince others?”
They couldn't fulfill her wishes.
Because her wishes couldn't be achieved through blood.
If they could, Cheongwol probably would have dirtied her own hands already.
Cheongwol did not want to see the look in Han Seojin's eyes change when he gazed at her.
She knew all too well what he despised... and these people were exactly the ones he loathed most.
Dokgo Jinmuk let out a short breath and brushed back his fallen forelock with his fingertips.
Then the atmosphere shifted.
The subdued voice of a man in his late thirties followed.
“...It's strange.”
He stepped forward from the opposite riverbank.
Cheongwol matched his movement.
“Definitely strange. Yeongcheon said as much, but seeing it with my own eyes makes it even odder. Your behavior alone would have you betray the Emei Sect many times over, so why cling on like this?”
Cheongwol did not reply.
“...A masochist who enjoys pain? Or... hmm.”
Dokgo Jinmuk stroked his chin once, then smiled at Cheongwol.
“Right. Something must already be holding you back.”
Having her greatest weakness exposed, killing intent surged in Cheongwol instantly.
She could not allow their fangs to turn toward Han Seojin.
-Whoosh...!
But the moment her killing intent rose, Dokgo Jinmuk had already leaped far back.
He burst into laughter.
“Yes, that's more like it for a comrade of ours. Killing intent like that at your age. And from a nun, no less...! Now I understand why Yeongcheon wants to recruit you.”
“...”
“But in the future, direct your killing intent with care toward your opponent. I'm not someone you can swallow. Didn't you hear I could kill even your master?”
“Dozens have crawled to the afterlife after boasting like that in front of me.”
“Dozens? Hundreds, probably. But I'm different. I've crossed the wall of the Peak Realm.”
She had anticipated it since he claimed he could kill her master, but he seemed to be a Peak Realm expert already.
The Murim Alliance's information was correct.
The six in Yeongcheon's crew had all likely crossed the wall of the Peak Realm.
“The reason we keep reaching out to you, and why I don't kill you now, is the same. Few suffer as much as you while showing the potential to cross the wall of the Peak Realm.
Cheongwol, including you, we are the chosen ones. The wall of the Peak Realm isn't crossed by strength alone. Countless martial artists pour their lives into it and crumble before that wall. Even innate talent isn't enough; even grueling training falls short. It requires luck, timing, and above all, heaven's blessing.
Some strive their whole lives and never reach it, but sometimes, like you... crossing mere twenties and already gazing at that height. Seeing you, it won't be long before you cross. How could one who slaughters so readily not gain enlightenment in the sword?
I'll ask again. Why should we, of all people, bow to the weak? Can't we just take whatever we desire? You know it too. The weak crumble before the sword and lose their right to speak.
All that torments you—shouldn't we just destroy them all and take only what makes you happy?”
Cheongwol had thought the same many times.
Supremacy of the Strong.
She hated to admit it, but the phrase resonated with her.
Anyone striving to grow stronger would feel the same.
After all, Cheongwol had been drawn to the Emei Sect by Muwol Satae's strength in subduing the Green Forest bandits who killed her parents.
So she nodded.
“You're right.”
“Isn't it? Then—”
“—But my desires are ones you can't fulfill. That's certain. So I won't join you. My desires... require flexibility.”
Dokgo Jinmuk pondered briefly before asking one last time.
“...Never? You'll never join us?”
“For now, that's my stance.”
“Then from my position... it might be better to break you here.”
Cheongwol raised her sword as well.
“Try it.”
“Cheongwol. Do you truly think I can't? The gap between one who has crossed the wall of the Peak Realm and one who hasn't is—”
“—Who said I haven't crossed the wall of the Peak Realm?”
She hadn't.
It was just bravado.
But sometimes, bravado makes for excellent conversation.
She suppressed her presence to prevent Dokgo Jinmuk from peering into her, calming herself even more quietly.
If she flared her qi largely, her nearby master would rush over, but that might let Dokgo Jinmuk gauge her level and attack.
She could respond after seeing his reaction.
She had no experience in life-or-death combat with a Peak Realm expert, but she could at least hold out until her master arrived.
Dokgo Jinmuk pondered deeply, then nodded.
“...That bluff saved you today. If you'd barked, I'd have bitten, but your silence makes me cautious. Fine, I didn't come to kill you anyway, so I'll withdraw. We'll meet again.”
-Whoosh!
Dokgo Jinmuk vanished with the sound of wind once more.
Cheongwol did not drop her guard immediately, staying vigilant for a while before realizing he was truly gone and sheathing her sword.
.
.
.
“...Hoo.”
Even after returning to her senior brothers' side, Cheongwol said not a word about it.
Mentioning it would surely cause unnecessary commotion.
And that commotion would never benefit her.
Why is the Ming Cult targeting you?
Why are they proposing something to you?
The arrows of suspicion would inevitably point at her.
Their proposal, and why she desired it, were secrets she must keep.
So Cheongwol acted as if nothing had happened, her face impassive.
She headed to the most comforting place to swallow this strange emotion she felt afterward.
It was an odd stickiness.
Not from meeting Dokgo Jinmuk.
Not from the Yeongcheon crew still wanting her.
Their awareness of her twisted nature wasn't an issue either.
This inexplicable tremor was undoubtedly directed at Han Seojin.
The realization she had just reached still shook her chest.
-Step.
“Where'd you go? You were gone for a while.”
Standing before Han Seojin made the realization even clearer.
The moment she saw him, everything became stark.
...I see.
The reason she withstood Dokgo Jinmuk's temptation.
Her greatest desire.
“...Euk... euk...”
“Cheongwol?”
The moment she acknowledged her desire, her chest tightened.
It ached so fiercely she could barely breathe.
Ahh. So that's it.
Cheongwol crouched down, burying her face in her knees.
...It seems I...
****
“Tonight, your bedding's next to mine again. Don't worry about it, sleep wherever you want.”
It was late at night.
Han Seojin leveled the ground, spread a thin mat silently, and prepared his bed.
Naturally, he placed Ga Yeong's bedding right beside his.
This journey involved a large group traveling together.
They couldn't ignore others' gazes entirely.
At least formally, it was proper to set the fiancée's spot nearby.
Of course, it didn't mean the two wanted to share a blanket.
Especially from Ga Yeong's perspective, traveling with her beloved Jang Cheolyu, she didn't want even a small misunderstanding.
So throughout the journey, she only lay beside Han Seojin when unavoidable, otherwise shifting spots while watching others.
Sometimes in her father's carriage,
sometimes crouched by the campfire,
sometimes staying up all night whispering with Jang Cheolyu, blooming stories.
Once the bedding was ready, Han Seojin said calmly.
“I'm tired, so I'll sleep first. Do as you like.”
“Yeah. Don't worry. Thanks always.”
“Save the thanks for after Uncle wakes up.”
Ga Yeong cautiously scanned the surroundings.
Everyone was busy with bedtime preparations.
In one corner, the nuns tidied their spots; in another, villagers warmed themselves by the campfire, murmuring.
Only this area—Han Seojin's spot—was subtly spaced from the others.
That space was the villagers' playful consideration.
A way to say not to disturb the engaged couple.
She knew it was their cheeky care, but to Ga Yeong, that prank was utterly troublesome.
Because each time, Jang Cheolyu's gaze would brush past.
What man would enjoy seeing his lover stuck to another man, even if fake?
Naturally, Ga Yeong had to watch her step then, and with her usual apologetic look, Jang Cheolyu would nod as if it was fine.
Can't be helped if it's for filial duty, he seemed to say.
To avoid such gazes, Ga Yeong headed to her father.
Just before entering the carriage, her eyes caught a scene.
Amid the bustle, one figure sat alone in meditation.
It was Cheongwol.
The picture of a true Buddhist.
To maintain that amid the chaos was truly astonishing.
No wonder she's the Thousand-Year Flower, Ga Yeong thought.
Was Cheongwol born so perfectly?
How unfair the world was.
High martial prowess, stunning beauty, diligent training, unshakable composure.
Did desire even exist for her?
How could she be so flawless?
While Ga Yeong herself had crumbled to greed for money, selling out the Emei Sect to the Hao Gate.
...How did Han Seojin befriend such a Cheongwol?
Ga Yeong knew Han Seojin was kind, but village talk hadn't always been so until recently.
Did he cling to her out of loneliness? Annoy the junior nun?
Probably. Cheongwol was kind, so she'd tolerate it.
Or perhaps some hidden connection?
Whatever it was, she felt a twinge of guilt.
The growing distance between Han Seojin and Cheongwol was obvious even to her.
Lately, Cheongwol rarely stayed near Han Seojin.
Days of vanishing somewhere and returning much later.
...Think about it later.
There were more pressing issues now.
So thinking, Ga Yeong climbed into the carriage.
“Father. I'm here.”
She tended to him until the surroundings quieted.
.
.
.
When only the sound of crickets filled the air.
“...Tsk.”
Ga Yeong slurped back her drool and rose.
She must have dozed off briefly.
Rubbing her bleary eyes, she checked her father's face.
His familiar rough breathing continued.
The surroundings were silent, as if everyone slept; the air had long cooled.
Ga Yeong placed a hand on her father's forehead, sighed deeply, and stood.
She wanted some fresh air.
And to check on Jang Cheolyu, and tidy Han Seojin's bedding once more, her benefactor.
Stepping down from the carriage and stretching, Ga Yeong wandered alone among the sleeping crowd.
Check on Han Seojin first.
He'd be lying alone.
As she walked toward him, the sight of his bedding froze her solid.
“...Huh?”
In the dim darkness, something clung to Han Seojin's side. Like a beast sneaking in under cover of night.
Nearly crying out in shock, Ga Yeong realized its identity and stood dazed.
It was a person.
Someone lying in the bedding Han Seojin had prepared for her, pressed right against him.
Just then, moonlight filtered through the clouds, illuminating the scene.
-Tak...!
Ga Yeong had to cover her mouth with her hand.
No room for illusion.
It was Cheongwol.
Her eyes closed, she was carefully pressing her lips to Han Seojin's forehead.
The perfect Buddhist from dinner was gone.
Now, only a woman furtively satisfying her desire remained.
Cheongwol's face was filled with a sadness never seen before.
As if on the verge of tears.
A face of suffocating frustration.
...And yet, that made it feel all the sweeter now.
Her hand already intertwined firmly with Han Seojin's.
Their recent distance seemed laughable; they were so close.
Witnessing it all, Ga Yeong could hardly believe it.
...That Cheongwol?
The Thousand-Year Flower?
Han Seojin?
...The Han Seojin I'd known since childhood?
-Thud!
Backing away, Ga Yeong's toe snapped a dry twig.
Like a beast turning its head, Cheongwol's gaze pierced her sharply.
“...Eup!”
She couldn't breathe.
Ga Yeong knew this feeling.
Once, encountering a tiger in the back mountain, it had been the same.
Her whole body froze under that gaze.
The compassionate nun was absent. Only a beast whose secret was caught remained.
What should she say?
Reason told her to stop Cheongwol.
He's my husband. What are you doing to him in the dead of night?
This isn't right. What wind blew this way?
This is an insult to me and Han Seojin.
For her father's sake, the act must continue.
But emotion screamed not to.
The Cheongwol she knew had never been here.
Would the Thousand-Year Flower she knew steal a kiss on the forehead and hold hands while a man slept?
That being was a stranger. Tread carefully.
Above all, if she just waited without pointing it out, wouldn't Cheongwol feel shame and withdraw on her own?
“...”
“...”
But Cheongwol said nothing, moved not at all.
Even after enough time passed, even after time to compose her shock.
Instead, that cold gaze kept coming.
Cheongwol continued glaring at Ga Yeong...
-Swish.
Brushed back Han Seojin's hair, and pressed her lips to his forehead again.
Right before the eyes of his fiancée.
At that action beyond comprehension, Ga Yeong's breath caught too.
Even while kissing, Cheongwol glared sharply at Ga Yeong.
Now she understood Cheongwol's message.
This is my prey.
The beast declared as such.
Covet it... and regret it.
She knew she had to stop it now.
To continue this clumsy act, she must pull her away somehow.
But courage had already fled.
So she made the wisest choice of her life.
“...Heek!”
Ga Yeong turned and fled.
Pretending not to have seen, she returned to her spot.