Chapter 5: Crazy Perverted Lust Demon Bastard
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 5: Crazy Perverted Lust Demon Bastard
"...I'm going to kill you."
Chun-bong's sharp glare was practically stabbing him.
"...You crazy, perverted, lust demon bastard."
However, Seo-jun’s conscience was entirely clear. No matter how depraved he might be, he wasn't insane enough to lay a hand on a child.
He had simply wiped her down with a wet cloth.
Besides, this brat saw my entire body when I got stabbed.
But Chun-bong didn't care.
"...I should just cut that thing off or something."
"Huh? Cut what?"
If glares carried physical force, a massive hole would have already been bored straight through his crotch.
As Seo-jun hurriedly backed away while covering his vitals, Chun-bong let out a heavy sigh.
"Fuck, there goes my chance at marriage."
"I told you, it was a medical procedure. As long as I keep my mouth shut, no one will ever know."
"Just drop dead, please!"
Various objects came flying at his head. She seemed genuinely mortified.
"Hey, I’m telling you, it’s fine! It’s not like your body was particularly worth being embarrassed about—holy shit! Why do you even have a rock in the house?!"
"You... just wait until I can get up. You’re a dead man."
"Hehe."
Seo-jun approached Chun-bong with a villainous smirk.
"Chun-bong, my dear Chun-bong, I can’t exactly let this opportunity slip by then, can I?"
"You’ve finally shown your true colors...! You rapist!"
"Excuse me?"
Despite her aching body, Chun-bong managed to spring up and lunged at him fiercely.
"Die!"
Her tiny kitten punches flew with fierce momentum. But in the end, she was just a sick, young girl. After a brief, clumsy struggle, Seo-jun pinned her down and laughed heartily.
"Haha! Just submit and let me take care of you!"
She wanted revenge once she got better? Then he just had to domesticate her with comfort until she completely lost the will to retaliate.
"Kuh...! Just kill me!"
However, during that little scuffle, the body he had just finished cleaning was once again drenched in sweat. He couldn't just leave her like that.
"Again? Again?!"
After being subjected to another thorough wiping, Chun-bong finally turned docile.
Perhaps she realized she was destined to be scrubbed down every time she worked up a sweat? Or maybe, after the second time, she had simply given up.
Seeing her slumped there, looking utterly drained, he felt a bit sorry for her and tried to strike up a conversation.
"Hey, Kim Chun-bong. Why are you so lifeless?"
"...Because of you, you son of a bitch. And my surname isn't Kim, it’s Geum."
"What?"
Geum Chun-bong? How could a girl's name be Geum Chun-bong?
He wasn't joking; he was genuinely shocked. As his eyes darted around in disbelief, a fierce glare shot back at him.
"You dimwit. Do you really think my name is actually Chun-bong? Use your head."
"It was an alias? I really thought you were a Chun-bong."
"...Hee."
"Why are you suddenly laughing at me?"
Thwack! A piece of junk flew through the air and hit him square in the head.
"Ow...!"
"You idiot. My name is Hee. Geum Hee."
"...Geum Hee. That’s a pretty name."
After a moment of thought, Seo-jun asked, "Do you use the character 'Hee' for princess?"
"It can mean that."
"Is that allowed? Doesn't anyone say anything?"
In most Wuxia novels, there was a clear distinction between the Murim and the imperial government.
There was even a famous saying: Non-Interference Between Government and Murim. It meant the imperial court and the martial arts world did not meddle in each other's affairs.
However, even with that mutual non-interference, he knew that people generally avoided using characters like 'Wang' (King), 'Je' (Emperor), or 'Hee' (Princess) in their names unless they actively intended to provoke the Imperial Family.
"Who would say anything? My family was allowed to use it."
"Oh... Is your dad the Emperor or something?"
"Don’t talk nonsense. And don’t try to dig for details. Don’t go around telling people my name, either."
"Good heavens."
Seo-jun scurried over to Chun-bong and cupped her cheeks.
"Our little Chun-bong, telling me all these juicy secrets. What a sweet little sister who loves her big brother so mu—urk!"
That little brat. He endured the strike since she hadn't aimed for his vitals this time.
* * *
Perhaps because she had exerted too much energy despite being ill, Chun-bong soon fell into a peaceful sleep.
Seo-jun stepped outside to check on his progress for the day, but...
"I can’t see a damn thing."
With no streetlights, there was no way to see his surroundings. He left everything else inside and stepped out with only a single blade in hand.
This is a real sword.
It was likely what people called a broad blade. The edge was keen, as if it had been meticulously maintained.
Holding a broad blade for the first time in his life, it felt heavier than expected, yet surprisingly balanced.
Of course, it wasn't an object that his current, unrefined body could just swing around wildly.
"Nice."
But who was he? He was the martial arts expert, Lee Seo-jun.
Seo-jun gripped the broad blade with both hands and raised it high toward the sky.
The world around him was pitch-black, but the night sky was brilliant.
In the Murim night sky, completely devoid of artificial light, the stars were so densely packed that it felt as if they would come tumbling down if he just gave them a slight poke with his blade.
Those countless stars, accompanied by an exceptionally bright moon.
The faint starlight descending from the heavens scattered across the rough surface of the broad blade.
He overlaid that serene image with what had happened earlier that day.
The sensation of pulling down the heavens. The Mount Tai Pressure Peak of the Three Talents Sword Art. It was exactly as the name implied.
Swish!
A thrill ran through him at the exhilarating sensation in his hands. As he swung the blade as if possessed, Seo-jun felt his mind gradually grow hazy.
His body was swinging the blade, yet it felt as if he were not the one initiating the movements.
As he emptied his mind into the blade, disjointed thoughts drifted through his consciousness.
That Chun-bong girl...
Why had she suddenly revealed her real name?
Was it because her secret of being a girl was already out? Or had she developed some strange sense of trust because he hadn't actually laid a hand on her?
Somehow, he didn't think that was it.
Perhaps it was a sort of plea. A way of saying, I’ve told you such an important secret, so don’t leave me.
Or maybe she was just a kid and hadn't thought much of it at all.
Whatever.
It wasn't important.
Under the moonlit night sky, the only distinct thing was the single broad blade in his hand.
She was a bit prickly, but she was a kid with her own cute charms, wasn't she?
If it was someone like Geum Chun-bong, he wouldn't mind having her as a younger sister.
I’ll have to raise her well.
Under the bright moon, he performed his sword dance long into the night.
* * *
"Wake up."
The moment the faint morning sunlight seeped through the collapsed ceiling, Seo-jun sprang to his feet.
Is this the power of martial arts?
Despite going to bed late and waking up early, his body felt completely refreshed. Geum Chun-bong was still in a deep sleep. He quietly grabbed the broad blade and left the house.
After working up a good sweat swinging the blade, his stomach began to riot, demanding food.
That’s enough for a morning workout.
Seo-jun returned home and wiped his body down with a wet cloth.
As he hummed and changed his clothes, he heard a grumbling voice behind him.
"...You crazy bastard. Now that you know I’m a girl, shouldn't you do that somewhere out of sight?"
"What’s this 'girl' nonsense from a little brat?"
"...Son of a bitch."
Chun-bong groaned as she sat up.
Thud!
Seo-jun immediately pushed her back down onto the floor.
"Agh...! What are you doing?!"
"Just rest. I’m going to go buy some food."
"Buy it?"
"Yep. You bet."
Seo-jun shook a coin pouch in front of Chun-bong’s eyes. Needless to say, it was the money he had liberated from his criminal 'friends.'
"We have some money now."
Of course, it wasn't enough to live in luxury, so he still fully planned to swipe some tanghulu.
"You’re not planning on going out like that, are you?"
"What? I’m going out exactly like this."
"Leave the sword behind, you lunatic."
Chun-bong pointed at the broad blade he had somehow managed to tie to his waist with a strip of cloth.
"Why? It’s good to have a weapon for self-defense."
"Are you an idiot? The guys from their gang would love to spot you carrying that."
Gang? Did those guys have more friends?
"Can’t you tell just by looking? They’re Black Path scum. It looked like they’d learned a bit of martial arts, too. Even if it was just some low-grade trash technique."
"Those lackeys?"
"They probably had some rank. Mere lackeys would have a hard time even getting their hands on a broad blade like that."
"Aha."
He obediently tucked the broad blade into a corner of the house. Chun-bong, still groaning, thought for a moment before suddenly standing up.
"Hey, how much money is in there?"
"I told you to stay lying down."
"Oh, come on! Are you my mother?!"
Chun-bong snatched the pouch, checked the amount, and nodded in satisfaction.
"This should be about right. Let’s go."
* * *
"Can’t you go any faster? You’re so slow."
Chun-bong, perched boldly on his back, kicked his waist with her heels.
"You want me to throw you?"
"Try it, you brat."
"Why, you..."
When he made a motion to toss her off, Chun-bong squeezed his neck tight in a chokehold.
"Ack...! Hey, hey! My neck! You’re choking me!"
"Keep acting up and see what happens."
With a triumphant Chun-bong on his back, he followed her directions until they arrived at what was clearly a blacksmith’s shop.
There were mostly farming tools on display, like sickles and hoes, and even at a glance, the quality didn't look great.
"Let’s buy you a sword here."
"A sword? You told me to learn Qi arts."
"I’ve changed my mind. You just have extraordinary insight for the sword."
As she nudged him toward a corner, she began to chatter away, explaining her reasoning.
"In the first place, Qi arts are the kind of martial arts where you only see real results once you reach the Peak Realm. Until then, there’s nothing you can really do."
"Is that so?"
"Of course. The stage where you can actually discharge internal energy from your body is called First-rate. And when you can control that discharged energy somewhat freely, you’re called a Peak master."
However, the very foundation of Qi arts involves manipulating energy that has been discharged externally. So naturally, to use Qi arts properly, one must first reach the Peak Realm.
"Hmm."
Seo-jun, deep in thought, held Chun-bong up with one arm and extended his other arm forward.
"Isn't something like this a Qi art?"
He tucked his middle finger under his thumb, as if loading a finger flick.
The feeling of gathering internal energy at the tip of the middle finger.
Seo-jun recalled the sensation he had accidentally succeeded in grasping last night.
It wasn't difficult.
Just as the feeling came to him, he flicked his middle finger.
Psh!
A small, distinct mark appeared on the surface of the wooden pillar he had aimed at. The internal energy gathered at his fingertip had flown out like a bullet.
"Pretty cool, right? I think I’ll call it something like Tanji-gong..."
"What the fuck! How did you do that?!"
"I just did."
It took quite a while to calm the hysterical Chun-bong down before they could finally enter the blacksmith’s shop.
* * *
"...You better explain yourself properly when we get home."
"I got it."
As they opened the door and stepped inside, an old man walked slowly toward them.
"What do you kids want? I don’t have food for beggars, so get lost."
Contrary to his stark white hair, his arms were bulging with thick muscle. Martial arts aside, it looked like a person's skull would shatter if he so much as flicked his finger at it.
While Seo-jun was still choosing his words, Chun-bong spoke up.
"We’ll pick out what we want and pay for it ourselves, so you get lost."
This girl definitely didn't know the meaning of 'respecting your elders.'
"She’s right. Buzz off, old man."
But then again, neither did he.