Han Seola
I had a dream.
It was a dream of the weak, foolish child I had once been—back when I could hardly even be called a warrior.
What I remembered was so faint now it was almost absurd, yet it seemed I had kept it tucked away somewhere in a corner of my heart, under the name of memory.
“……”
Truth be told, it was not a memory I cared to revisit.
If anything, most of it had been a nightmare.
Back before my older sister died of illness, I had been someone who was naturally ignored and compared to others in the family.
Why had I been treated that way?
I still didn’t really know.
Only the look in Father’s eyes had always been filled with anger and irritation.
So much that even a child could have seen it.
“……”
Even now, I could only vaguely guess at the reason.
Thwack-
“Agh!”
Somewhere, a stone came flying at me and struck my head.
Mother and the servants never showed it on their faces, even if they mocked me in their hearts, but—
“There goes that idiot. Throw it!”
“Shh! Someone might hear!”
“So what? It’s true, isn’t it? Hyah!”
They weren’t branch-family blood relatives.
To kids my own age, I must have been a perfect target.
A direct descendant who still couldn’t even perform a proper soyogong first form.
That was me.
“……”
“A direct descendant with no talent for ice arts? Does that even make sense? My mother said Han Seola is a disgrace to the clan…”
“How can there be such a difference when they’re both the clan lord’s children?”
“Exactly. So what’s she good at?”
“One thing, maybe. Crying. Look, she’s crying again.”
“She’ll hide again, won’t she? Hurry up and throw it!”
They laughed with open contempt, as if they were having the time of their lives.
I was angry at that bullying, but—
‘…….’
Like an idiot, I couldn’t say a single word.
Because I didn’t want to face how pathetic I was…
I ran.
I ran, and ran, and kept running.
Nightmare memories.
In a way, you could say that period had been the hardest of my life—but—
“What’s this?”
He smiled brightly and held out a silk pouch.
“Open it.”
When I opened the pouch—
“Waaah….”
A red bracelet shimmered beautifully in the light.
—It wasn’t as though only bad memories existed.
“It’s your birthday, isn’t it?”
“...You knew?”
“……”
He gave a tiny, bashful nod.
“Thank you… I’ll treasure it forever.”
My childhood friend—someone I felt safe with, someone I could rely on, someone who made me feel strong simply by being beside me.
He really was a kind boy.
“I, I can’t do it.”
“Why would you think that?”
A boy who always listened to my worries with such a serious expression.
“Because… I’m not talented like my sister.”
“Again?”
How many people would willingly stay close to a child like me, someone even my own family treated as an idiot and a troublemaker?
Especially when that person was the child of a prestigious household.
“I’m lacking…”
“Mm-hm, and?”
He nodded and looked at me with sparkling eyes.
At first I had wondered, Does he just need someone to play with?
But that wasn’t it.
He was the son of the Guangdong Chen Family, one of the Eight Great Clans; on top of that, he was handsome and extraordinarily skilled in martial arts for his age.
Compared to me, he lacked nothing.
Even standing still, people would come to him on their own, so there was no reason for him to bother with something so troublesome.
If he needed connections as the young master of the Guangdong Chen Family, he would gain far more by going to my sister than to me.
“Seola?”
“……”
No matter how many times I thought about it, his behavior made no sense.
When I lifted my head, Sojin had somehow come so close that I could feel his breath, and my gaze met those lovely eyes of his.
My heart had been pounding like a rabbit ever since earlier… I hoped he wouldn’t notice.
“Seola. Won’t you tell me?”
Those eyes, filled with unwavering resolve, and that gentle whisper of a voice felt unbearably sweet.
It was so embarrassing to be this way…
“You’re… stupid.”
I answered in a tiny, threadbare voice.
“Is that all?”
‘……’
“Seola. I said it before, didn’t I? There’s plenty of possibility. Strength isn’t everything.”
“Lies… don’t lie.”
“Strength in martial arts? You can’t judge someone by something as small as that.”
“I can’t even do that much.”
He tried to encourage me with shining eyes, but…
I knew better than anyone.
I had no talent.
Every time I was compared to my sister—no, even when I was measured against the branch-family children—I could see it clearly.
He gave an awkward, helpless laugh.
“Still, you should at least try, don’t you think?”
“But I can’t do it anyway…? I can’t do anything.”
With a drained sigh, I lowered my head.
I knew full well that this was wrong.
I knew I was only making things difficult for him.
But every time I acted spoiled, the way he looked after me so much more than even my own blood family did made me so happy.
Every time he indulged me, every time he did something for my sake, my heart would start fluttering wildly.
…Yes.
In the end, I had become addicted to him.
After a long silence, Sojin clenched both fists and spoke.
“Then I’ll lend you some of my strength.”
And with a bright smile, he held out a warm hand.
Share it with me?
I cautiously lifted my head and saw my childhood friend looking at me with a serious expression.
“……”
It was such a ridiculous thing to say that, more than feeling dumbfounded, I actually laughed.
He always found some way to cheer me up like this.
I took his hand—the one warm as sunshine.
It was a rough hand, callused in many places, the kind of hand that spoke plainly of hard work.
Had it been about one ilgak later?
Fifteen minutes.
“That should be enough. Just try it, if only to humor me.”
Nothing seemed especially different, but the confidence in his voice gave me a little courage.
“Really? I can… I can do it too? I’m scared…”
“Of course you can. It’ll be different now. And I’ll stay right beside you until you succeed.”
“...Mm.”
And when I finally gathered my courage and displayed the form, I was truly shocked.
“Ah!”
Cold, icy wings unfurled from the tips of my fingers.
How long had I been waiting for this moment…
“I-it finally…”
For the first time, I succeeded in using soyogong.
In those days, when I lived while constantly disappointing myself for being helpless—
the unfamiliar feeling that rose up deep inside my chest…
For the first time, I had cried not from sorrow, but from being moved to tears.
When I was with him…
it really had been wonderful.
*
“Mm….”
As sunlight that had slipped in along the window slowly stroked her face,
the consciousness sunk in the depths of darkness began to rise to the surface little by little.
It wasn’t as if she could remain forever immersed in faded memories.
Rubbing her sleepy eyes, she brushed away her tousled blue hair.
“Ugh… ngh.”
She pushed herself up from the bed, clutching her sore side as a dull ache throbbed there.
She had spent the whole night lying there in a daze, unable to fall into a deep sleep, and she felt awful for it.
With a weary sigh, Han Seola looked out the window.
Whether it understood her feelings or not, the sky was clear and cloudless.
And the reason the reflection in the mirror looked so sad was—
“……”
It couldn’t just be her imagination.
She brushed the tears at the corners of her eyes away with a white finger.
Sojin.
Lately, his absence had been lingering far too vividly.
Was I mistaken?
The emptiness that had taken root inside her heart was still slowly growing.
“……”
She shook her head softly.
Even if that had been a misjudgment, she couldn’t ignore her parents’ wishes.
After all, she carried expectations and responsibility on her back at the same time.
Thinking about it now, when Sojin had simply walked away after Linglin and her sister attacked him in the Great Martial Arena, she could understand why.
It was a sad thing, but—
He probably wouldn’t want to keep looking at a woman like this.
The same must have been true in the main hall.
Just from the fact that he had immediately dissolved the Jintian Squad, she could guess what he had been thinking…
She hadn’t understood it then, but now that she was apart from Sojin, she felt like she was beginning to.
That made sense, because she was his childhood friend.
She bit down hard on her dry lips and repeated it inwardly.
I’m sorry.
She changed her clothes and got ready to leave.
Those people picked on her, finding fault with her just to torment her, so if she was late she had no idea what they might do.
“……”
Life in the Yeolcheon Squad was harsh, but through her connection to Yeolpaegum, the family was growing stronger.
Her heart felt like it might break, but for now… she could endure.
All she had to do was hold on until graduation.
And once she landed a good position in the Martial Alliance, then maybe—
“Haa.”
After dreaming of a happy childhood and waking up, reality felt like a gloomy scatter of gray ash.
Ash that had burned completely away, leaving not even embers behind—
ash that could do nothing but drift helplessly through the air.
Against her stark white skin, a dark red bruise stood out, impossible to miss.
Beatings disguised as sparring.
Clutching her aching body, she asked herself,
How did it come to this?
This was surely not the future I had imagined.
I never dreamed it would end up like this.
“Haa, cough.”
Then,
a small, faded bracelet on the desk caught her eye.
“……”
She picked it up.
She had forgotten about it for a long time, but this was the first birthday present Sojin had ever given her.
Clutching the faded ornament as though it were a treasure, she spoke inwardly.
Sojin… I’m having a hard time right now.
Honestly, I really don’t want to do this.
You know I’m a coward…? I want to run away even now.
Couldn’t you help me?
She wanted to say it to the one person she most wanted to hear her.
But—
there was no one beside her left to listen anymore.
*
*
*
As she, Han Seola, walked past the front of the training room, a striking orange head of hair caught her eye.
No—
It would be more accurate to say it was the behavior that stood out rather than the hair color.
Hiding behind a wall and peering at something could only seem suspicious, no matter how generously one looked at it.
What is she doing?
Seola wondered why she was acting like that.
Trying not to embarrass her, she spoke as naturally as she could.
“Juhwa? What are you doing here?”
“S- Seola? …Shh!”
As expected, the moment she saw her face, she jumped in shock and immediately put a finger to her lips.
Normally she was such a confident woman, so Seola couldn’t understand why she was acting this way.
What is this about?
Following Juhwa’s lead, she cautiously leaned out and looked.
“……Eh?”