That's a Relief..
Lunchtime, in the corner of the deserted school rooftop.
Haeun knelt on the cold concrete floor, huddled up, stuffing cold kimbap she'd bought from the school store into her mouth.
The noisy, suffocating air in the cafeteria that felt like it was stabbing right at her.
She'd chosen this shabby hideout because she knew she couldn't endure it.
Her mouth felt gritty, the rice grains chewing like sand, but she had to force it down.
Clank—
At that moment, the rooftop's sturdy iron door creaked open, followed by footsteps.
Haeun instinctively gasped and shrank behind a pile of discarded desks in the corner.
"Ugh, this sucks. Let's smoke quick before the rooftop door locks."
"Hey, did you guys see this morning? Baek Haeun coming to school with Lee Woojin."
Familiar voices.
It was Kim Doeun from earlier, the one flirting with Woojin in class, and her gang.
Haeun's heart began pounding like it would burst.
"For real? Baek Haeun? Wow, insane. After getting wrecked by Choi Jia like that, now she's trying her charms on some easy childhood friend?"
"Ultimate player, seriously..? Does she still think she's a princess or something? Wow, Doeun, what are you gonna do? Weren't you and Woojin like, a thing? Should we take her down for good?"
Harsh, mocking laughter echoed across the rooftop.
Huddled tight, Haeun took every vile word full force, biting her pale lips.
"Nah, nah~ Just leave it."
"Woojin's probably just going along with her 'cause she's been so ostracized and pathetic. He's super nice like that. Just pity, that's all."
Pity, so reluctantly.
Those words sliced like razor blades, shredding her eardrums and gutting her heart.
Woojin, who'd been so kind to her..?
Carrying her home, nursing her so gently..
The warm hand holding her back, telling her to eat before leaving..
The ready voice saying, let's go together..
All of it just shallow pity?
Haeun stared blankly at the foil-wrapped kimbap in her hand, holding her breath.
Her eyes burned red, tears threatening to spill, but she desperately held them back and shoved another bite in.
Crunch.
The yellow pickled radish crunched loudly in her mouth.
"......"
Tears plopped onto the foil even as she mechanically worked her jaw.
Next time... maybe ask the store auntie to hold the radish...
To escape the unbearable reality, she forcibly filled her mind with trivial nonsense.
Chewing rice until her jaw ached, Haeun crumbled silently in the rooftop corner.
After school. Empty classroom.
After all the kids had left, Haeun hugged a bundle of leftover election posters and slowly walked toward my seat.
Like yesterday, she approached assuming I'd help as a matter of course—but midway through the classroom, her steps halted abruptly.
"Haha! For real? Woojin, you're hilarious."
"No, plug it in like this—it's faster."
At the back of the classroom.
I sat side by side with Kim Doeun, peering into a math workbook, putting on a cozy, friendly vibe.
Doeun laughed and casually leaned her shoulder against my arm; I didn't push her away, just smiled warmly.
The moment she faced that peaceful, perfect scene.
Haeun's approaching steps faltered, losing direction.
I kept my eyes on the workbook, watching her frozen expression from the corner of my eye.
Thick self-loathing and misery rising in her trembling eyes.
'......'
Haeun gripped the posters tighter and slowly turned her head.
"I'll say it straight. Don't butt in where you're not wanted."
"I don't need your help, so during the election, just stay quiet like you're dead."
...Yeah, right.
I was the one who told Woojin to stay out of it.
Yesterday, when Woojin was nice to me... it was just... pity.
I'm not even worthy of approaching him anymore.
Self-reproach building, Haeun couldn't call out to Woojin and slipped out the back door unnoticed.
Her frail silhouette vanished into the dark hallway, clutching the heavy posters alone.
"Huh? Woojin, what's up? What're you looking at?"
At Doeun's question, I slowly pulled my gaze from Haeun's shadow, now fully gone from the back door.
To stop my lips from curling up uncontrollably, I ducked my head back to the workbook.
"Yeah. Nothing."
I readjusted my mechanical pencil and answered in an utterly harmless voice.
"Let's keep going."
Perfect.
Watching her gnaw at herself, sinking into an endless abyss—what reaction would she show next?
I was already dying with anticipation.
Darkness heavy in the room.
The only light on Haeun's pale, huddled face in the bed corner came from her smartphone screen's bluish glow.
Her scrolling finger trembled faintly.
The gallery showed her high school life from just days ago—her whole world, dazzling and full.
In the photos, Haeun always shone with a radiant smile, surrounded by kids like Choi Jia propping her up.
Blind affection and envy she thought eternal.
"......."
After overhearing their mockery, those pictures were just nauseating shards.
Haeun bit her dry lips and tapped the trash icon in the top right.
Delete selected items?
Haeun tapped delete without hesitation.
All fake anyway.
Trash in friends' masks.
The first to throw stones, stab in the back.
Shallow sandcastle bonds.
Each tap severed the sturdy world holding her up till yesterday.
Last year, the year before...
Mechanically deleting old photos, Haeun's finger suddenly froze on the screen.
In the faded pixels: her younger self in tacky middle school uniform, next to Woojin forcing a V-sign with a bored face.
"...Woojin, ah."
In that instant, the dam of emotions she'd desperately held burst.
Hundreds of fake friends from her glamorous days turned away in one day, but this one drab childhood friend alone carried her, soothed her.
Hot tears plopped onto the screen.
Her vision blurred, breath catching.
Haeun clutched the phone to her chest and turned to the desk.
A small frame sat there.
Her dad smiling kindly at her, a faded family photo with mom.
Baek Haeun's deepest shame she hid most, yet her universe she missed most.
"Haeun must grow up strong and perfect, even for Dad's share. Got it?"
"Hic... Dad... "
Haeun buried her face in her hands.
Fearing her mom in the living room might hear, she muffled sobs into her knees.
She hated being called fatherless, pitied, looked down on.
So she desperately wore a perfect shell.
Kind to all, top grades, brimming with leadership—a model girl.
That was Baek Haeun's survival.
But now her rawest wound exposed, ridiculed—her survival instincts shattered, rolling on the floor.
"Wh-what... what do I do now? How should I go on... hic."
Unspeakable isolation and terror choked her.
"I'm... really trying so hard. Even without Dad, to live perfectly... But why... why is it like this... I don't know... sob, hic..."
No one answered in the dark room.
As she sobbed till she could barely breathe, the last image in her mind: Woojin warmly feeding her, smiling.
A empty world without dad or friends.
In Haeun's fragile universe, only Lee Woojin remained as gravity.
Same time.
Our living room was its usual lively, peaceful chaos.
"Oppa. You and Haeun unnie been going together lately?"
Suah, cheeks bulging as she chewed, suddenly jabbed her chopsticks in the air.
I paused mid-scoop of kimchi jjigae and shrugged casually.
"Mm... sometimes? We just bump into each other mornings on the way to school."
"Hmmm, really?"
Suah narrowed her eyes, scanning me up and down.
A sharp gaze like she could see right through me.
She's quick on the uptake usually—had she caught on to what I was doing? My back prickled.
"Then... are you two dating?"
"Koff! Kek! Cough!"
Suah's sudden fastball choked me hard.
Spicy broth went up my nose; I coughed wildly.
I thumped my chest and gulped water from the glass.
Dating? Hell no.
I just planned to train her into a childhood friend who couldn't breathe without me.
But spilling psycho thoughts to my sister? No way.
"Cough, kek! Don't talk crazy! No?!"
Face flushed red, I snapped; Suah set down her spoon and stared blankly at the table.
Her playful tease vibe from seconds ago vanished like a lie.
She gazed unfocused at the stir-fried anchovies in the corner, murmuring softly.
"...R-really...? That's a relief."
"Huh...?"
Her odd mutter froze my hand mid-setdown of the glass.
A relief? What? Normally she'd go "Aw, lame~" or "Knew it~ No way Haeun unnie dates a loser like you~" and mock me—that's normal sibling stuff.
Not this nuance from my sister.
Suah's sunken eyes, that faint, relieved expression.
For a second, the living room air felt chillingly cold.
"Hey, Lee Suah. What'd you just say? 'A relief'? What's a relief?"
I pressed, frowning; Suah's shoulders jerked.
She rolled her eyes innocently, face reddening, then yelled.
"Huh?! Wh-when did I! What're you on about? Oppa going senile, hearing things again?!"
"No, you definitely said 'relief' just—"
"Ugh, shut up and eat!!"
Suah scooped a huge clump of bland spinach namul—the one I hate most—with her chopsticks.
"Mmph! Hey, mmph...!"
As I opened to protest, she shoved the spinach in forcefully.
Then bolted to her room with stomping feet.
Bang—!
Door slammed shut.
Forcing down the bitter, grassy spinach flooding my mouth, I glared oddly at her closed door.
"Kek... Damn brat! Nearly killed me...!"
Cursing roughly, my mind tangled complexly.
Did I mishear?
A nagging aftertaste, like some gear outside my control had started turning.