Resignation Schemes and the Pink Tentacle Onslaught
Ever since I'd shown the department head the Hypnosis App, he'd been latching onto any excuse to smack stacks of documents down on my head. That bald dome hovered right above me, nonstop spewing his irritating bullshit.
"You little shit, huh? Don't you need to snap out of it and get some work done? Get your head in the game~! Think while you work, think! Thinking! You get it?"
"Ah, yes."
"No soul in that response! This is why you kids these days... Back in my day, talk like that and an ashtray would've flown straight at your mouth...!"
"Yes, sir."
I wanted to quit this damn company. I'd been sticking it out only because I needed the paycheck to stay in A City by hook or by crook, just to catch glimpses of Rapid. But this guy? No matter how I looked at him, I couldn't get used to the asshole. If it weren't for the money, I'd have walked out on the spot.
...Huh?
Right as that thought crossed my mind, it hit me—I'd completely forgotten something obvious. Why the hell was I even worrying about money? I had the Hypnosis App. Selling just a few photos of Rapid taken up close would rake in a fortune, and combing out a bit of her hair to harvest the premium strands would eliminate any financial worries forever.
...Should I quit the company?
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Just then, the office door flew open. The team leader stormed in, yelling as she marched straight toward me. All eyes in the office turned to her, and she grabbed the stack of documents the department head kept using to pound my head. The crumpled bundle tore and twisted in her furious grip, falling from his hand.
"H-H-Hey! Those are important documents!"
"Hitting an employee's head with 'important documents'? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Come on! Team Leader, even if you are the team leader, you're just on dispatch—why are you meddling in my leadership like this?"
"'Leadership'?! 'Meddling'? Did you just say meddling? This isn't meddling—it's management!"
The team leader and department head launched into a full-on war of words. I, meanwhile, had just realized something huge and was ignoring their sharp glares, lost in thoughts of when to put in my notice.
Suddenly, the team leader placed a hand on my head, patted it gently to fix my hair, and spoke softly. "Y-You're okay, right, Aenger...? Hang on... what's wrong with your eyes? You look exhausted. Section Chief, I specifically told you to run overtime by me first...!"
"Overtime my ass! I didn't assign any! The kid probably couldn't sleep every night obsessing over you, Team Leader."
"...Department Head, you know how dangerous that comment is, right?"
The team leader's hand rested on my head, slowly clenching. It was just grabbing my hair, but it felt oddly menacing. Ridiculous as it sounded, I half-expected her to swing me around like a club and knock the department head flat.
"Oh man, scary... Aigoo, the world's gone mad! A department head can't even speak freely to his subordinate!"
"Bring me that report. Now."
"You just tore it up—now you're asking for a report?"
The department head jerked his chin at the shredded stack in her hand. She unfolded it, confirmed it was indeed a report, and slammed it down on my desk with a bang!
"Reports go in the files! Cleanly! And prepare them as e-signatures—I must've told you a hundred times!"
"Back in my day, stapling to paper was the norm!"
"I've told you a hundred times—this report needs immediate submission to HQ too! Are you seriously telling me to play delivery boy to headquarters every time you show me a report?"
"If you wanna do it that way, go ahead. The folks at HQ are around my age, unlike you, Team Leader. They'll love the nostalgia of paper."
The department head smirked, twitching his bald scalp. The team leader let out a weary sigh, her voice drained. "Haa... Unbelievable, Department Head... I'll report this upstairs separately."
"Do it! Go ahead!"
"Redo the report and bring it. Now!"
"Ah, yes! Got it! Gotta do what the boss says, even if she's a hardass!"
"Haaaah... "
The department head stormed back to his seat in a huff, and the team leader leaned on my chair, sighing again. When should I quit? Today?
"Sorry about the noise."
"No problem."
"Anything bothering you during work?"
"Nah, it's easier thanks to you."
"...Really?"
I sat there dazed, mentally drafting my resignation letter, when the team leader kept chatting from beside me. She must've felt bad about swinging documents around and slamming my desk during their spat. Looking up from my seat, I saw her pretty face and that perfectly proportioned figure anyone would fall for. If it weren't for Rapid, my heart would've raced just looking at her.
"...If anything's inconvenient or tough at work, tell me anytime."
"Yes, ma'am."
With nothing more to say, she cautiously stepped away from behind me and returned to her seat. Mine was right by the entrance; hers was in the far corner, next to the department head's. Once she was gone, I pretended to code while secretly typing out my resignation one character at a time. No more subcontract gig building weird legal consult software for law firms. From now on, I'd make my living as a pro hair-comber, profiting off Rapid's locks.
As that thought crossed my mind, the team leader stood from her seat with a sigh and headed out. In the meantime, the department head must've filed the report digitally—he'd shown it to her on her True Vision Vision Pad tablet. Their clash had clearly worn her down mentally.
"Hey, Aenger."
"...Yes?"
The moment she left, the balding department head called me over. Swallowing a sigh, I wondered what the hell he wanted and trudged to his desk.
"Get me some coffee."
"...Pardon?"
I regretted walking over the second I arrived—three seconds flat. Should've played dumb and ignored him.
"Don't just get one—get the team leader's too."
"Hm?"
His follow-up caught me off guard. I widened my dark-circled eyes in surprise. Was this baldy seriously telling me to buy coffee for the team leader—as an apology after their fight and trash talk?
But if he's apologizing, why make me do it?
"See that, Aenger? That's how you play hard to get."
"Pardon?"
I was speechless at his next words.
"Listen, kid—romance starts by making her interested first. Just confessing like you did and doing jack shit after? Nothing happens."
"You told me to confess, Department Head."
"Aigoo, sure, let's go with that. Even if I told you, would you have done it without wanting to?"
If I hadn't, you wouldn't have kept bugging me at work, right? The team leader was just dispatched here temporarily—she'd return to HQ eventually. A little embarrassment for long-term peace? Worth it. Confessing to a beauty like her wasn't a big deal, and she wasn't gonna accept anyway, so no real issue.
"See? Show interest like that, treat her nice, and women fall for a guy's leadership and kindness."
"Uh... yes, sure."
"You think you match the team leader? Kid, the pay gap between you and me? Youth fades fast—women pick winners in the end!"
"...And?"
"God, so dense... Forget it, just go run the coffee errand."
I hesitated, then asked the department head something crucial.
"Card?"
"Use the corporate one."
"...For coffee?"
"It's for work!"
Thank god he didn't say use my own. Coffee runs weren't bad. I could strut to the cafe, chill till it got busy, order, then milk the crowd excuse to pocket cash and relax longer. Might as well clear my head. I took the corporate card from him and stepped out of the office.
"Uuuuugh... "
The moment I was outside, I stretched. Leaving the office outside quitting time always felt refreshing. The same streetscape I'd trudged through hating life on the way in now looked different when dragging my tired ass out. No more burned-out salarymen in sight... Everyone was lively, dashing about. The streets shrouded in pink mist, the sweeter-than-usual air—it all felt like a blessing for my future...
"KyaAAAAH!!"
...Now I saw it: they weren't dashing around lively—they were fleeing.
The pink mist was gas packed with Negatives' psychic waves and aphrodisiac compounds. Far down the road, a dimensional rift tore open in midair. Tentacle monsters slithered out, snatching people one by one. The classic sudden Negative raid.
[DRRRRRRUMBLE!]
"Shit..."
Instantly, the company entrance I'd just exited sealed behind metal blast shields. They never closed this fast usually, but the timing—right after me and the team leader left? Whatever loyalty I'd had left crumbled to dust.
Screw quitting—for now, survival first. Dead men don't resign; they expire.
...Gotta bolt to the nearest shelter, stat.