Chapter 93
Chapter 93
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 93
Chapter Title: This is how you teach a class, right?
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"What did you say?"
"Exactly what you heard."
After kicking out Liche, who had come asking for help, Lucia arrived right after, as if they had planned it.
She came out of the blue to ask me for a favor: to participate in the upcoming tournament.
"Why should I participate? Shouldn't it be students?"
Of course, I know what the tournament is. It was in the novel.
I remember it wasn't a major event, more like a filler chapter with a festival vibe.
A tournament where selected students from both academies compete in martial arts.
Normally, they're supposed to pick three students from each grade to compete. So why are they asking me, someone who isn't even a student, to participate?
Besides, is it even possible to hold a tournament in this situation?
"Actually, the headmaster of Zwey Academy paid a visit a short while ago."
"Oh..."
That jealous woman?
As far as I know, their headmaster was incredibly jealous of Lucia.
It's obvious she came to stir up some trouble, aiming for a time when we're weakened.
"We naturally said it was impossible, but they proposed a tournament for the professors."
Wow, she really came prepared.
It's something that could be postponed or skipped, but her intention to force it through is crystal clear.
But coming to me and asking me to participate means she accepted the proposal.
"The other professors are all injured, aren't they?"
Everyone got hurt in yesterday's event, regardless of their skill level.
Lucia's injuries are hidden by her outer clothes, but I'm sure she's covered in bandages underneath.
And she wants to hold a tournament in a situation like this.
From my perspective, the opposing academy's headmaster is a complete psycho driven to the brink by her inferiority complex.
"That's why I've come to ask for your help, Luke. As a condition for accepting the tournament, I had the format changed to an all-kill format."
The all-kill format I know is basically a series of one-on-one fights, where the winner stays on to fight the next opponent from the losing team.
The appeal of this format is seeing how many opponents one person can defeat.
If there's an overwhelmingly strong person, they can wipe out the entire opposing team on their own. It's a duel format that determines who's the most overpowered.
The reason she's telling me all this is...
"You want me to take them all on by myself?"
Taking on a few professors would be easy, but it's a hassle. And for free?
As I made that face, Lucia, noticing my expression, once again offered an amount I couldn't refuse.
"How about ten gold coins for every opposing professor you defeat?"
That's a solid incentive.
Back when we raided the Sea Serpent, the base pay was three gold coins per person.
There were three of us, so we got nine gold coins then. This time, I can make tens of gold coins just by stomping on a few professors.
"But do you even have money left after spending so much?"
"Hehe, who do you think I am?"
Right. The money she earned as an S-rank adventurer alone would be enough for three generations to live lavishly.
"So, can I kill them?"
"The second condition I proposed was that no one would be held responsible for anything that happens during the tournament after it concludes."
She really came sharpening her blade.
No one being held responsible means I can do whatever I want.
Besides, I already know the arena is rigged with something.
Naturally, a contest of martial arts is an activity that inevitably involves injury.
If things go wrong, someone could get seriously hurt.
So, of course, the arena is equipped with some kind of device, just like the academy's training grounds.
"Sounds good. I'll do it, the tournament."
"Yes. The tournament is scheduled for one week from today."
"That's soon, isn't it?"
"Originally, we were supposed to select the students for the tournament from this round of duels and hold it a week later, but..."
Sigh...
Lucia let out a sigh right in my face.
That one sigh seemed to contain all sorts of worries. It wasn't because her chest was large, but her shoulders looked heavy, as if from the sheer weight of her work.
Well, she has to deal with external matters on top of the academy's internal affairs.
Like the imperial family, for instance.
It's happening in an academy within their own country. They can only turn a blind eye so many times.
It's about time they got involved.
"Well then, I'll be going."
"Yep."
As if she had only squeezed in enough time to state her business, Lucia said her goodbyes and left immediately.
Watching her close the door and leave, I flopped back onto the bed.
"Alright, since it's come to this. Luna, Yui. Assemble."
I called the two of them while lying down, and they quickly gathered before me.
I explained to them why I had summoned them.
"We will now begin the meeting on how to screw over the professors in the tournament."
""Huh...?""
***
Three days later.
The academy's break ended, and we also headed to our assigned class for lessons.
Whether by coincidence or not, it was Class A, where Liche was.
When we opened the door and entered, the students' gazes naturally focused on us.
I responded by glaring right back at them. While I was at it, I closely examined the students. It seemed the rankings had changed due to the last duel competition; there were new faces, and some who were here before were gone.
The event might have been awkwardly cut short because of the incident, but that didn't change the results of the duels that had already taken place.
It seems the completed matches were reflected in the rankings as they were.
And there were fewer students wrapped in bandages. Those with minor injuries seemed to have fully recovered. Of course, even the students still wearing bandages didn't look like their activities were hindered.
"Luke. Over there."
"Huh?"
Yui pointed toward the back of the classroom, as if she'd seen something amazing.
Looking up, I could see the toilet bowl flanked by heroines on both sides.
'Looks like he finally made it up here.'
The toilet bowl must have moved up to Class A by beating Daio in the last duel competition.
And Daio, who was here before, was nowhere to be seen, likely demoted.
But one of the heroines who should have been gathered around the toilet bowl was missing, so I looked for her.
It turned out Liche was sitting at a desk on the complete opposite side from the toilet bowl, likely because of the truth she had heard.
At the same time, she was pleading for my help with her eyes, but I just ignored her like I always did.
Walking from the door to the front of the lectern, a sudden thought struck me as I looked at the toilet bowl.
"Hey, you. Get up here."
I summoned him.
I pointed my finger directly at the toilet bowl, and naturally, all the students' eyes followed my finger to him.
"...Me?"
The toilet bowl pointed at himself with a dumb look on his face.
As if asking if it was really him.
So I hammered it in that, yes, it was him.
"If I have to come get you, it'll be two hits."
The toilet bowl, though with a reluctant expression, had no choice but to get up from his seat.
In the first place, a professor holds absolute authority within the classroom.
When a professor says come, you come. You can't refuse just because you don't want to.
Coming down the steps between the desks, the toilet bowl stopped right in front of me.
Then, with a look that said, "Why'd you call me when I'm busy?" he spoke.
"What do you want? I'm busy raising affection levels."
So I smashed my fist into the toilet bowl's face.
-Thwack!
"Gah!"
The toilet bowl went flying, bleeding. I'd put enough force into it to break his nose bone, but he only got a nosebleed, as if his protagonist buff was active.
I moved in front of the thrown toilet bowl and started stomping on his fallen body.
"Gak! What the—ugh! All of a sudden!?"
"Hey, you motherfucker! Why didn't you do anything during the last event?! Huh?!"
"What nonsense are you—aaargh!"
I may have resolved it, but wasn't that event originally created for the protagonist to handle?
But this toilet bowl bastard in front of me didn't show his face even once until the very end of the event.
And now he's here, pulling this "raising affection levels" bullshit. Isn't that hilarious? I've got you today, so you're going to get beaten like a dog.
"Why! Did! You! Push! Your! Job! Onto! Someone! Else!"
"Aaargh! Stop! Ugh! Gak!"
I have no idea where he was or what he was doing while the event was going on.
No matter how difficult the event was, does it make sense that he couldn't get out even with his protagonist buff?
If that were the case, he wouldn't be here; he'd be buried in a grave by now.
"W-wait! I had a reason for not being able to get out!"
"That reason better be convincing! Otherwise, you're getting beaten for the entire class period!"
I didn't hit his face, so he could talk.
I beat the rest of his body all over, as if tenderizing it with a pork cutlet mallet.
The toilet bowl explained himself while being beaten.
"Normally, a look-alike of me was supposed to appear, but instead, it was an Arthur with a rope around his neck!"
"What kind of bullshit is that?"
Does this bastard have schizophrenia or something?
Or did he hang himself in a past life?
What's certain is that he's lying. That kind of grimdark content never appeared in the novel, so where is he pulling this lie from?
"You bastard! You think you can lie to a fellow transmigrator and get away with it?!"
"Ugh! Aaargh! It's true...! I'm telling the truth...!"
The toilet bowl's tone, as he spoke through the beatdown, was filled with indignation.
Was there some weird foreshadowing we didn't know about?
Then again, what I saw in the novel can't be everything there is to this world. That's usually the case in any transmigration story.
"Then you should have killed it quickly and gotten out, you idiot!"
"Of course I attacked, intending to kill it! But... ugh!"
"But what!"
"No matter how many times I cut it, it wouldn't die!!"
Is that so?
"So what! That's your problem!"
That's something you should have handled yourself, not something to make excuses to others about.
In the original story, did the protagonist ever blame others for his own weakness?
When he lost, didn't he say, 'I have to try harder!' instead of some loser comment like, 'Fuck, how am I supposed to win when the opponent is so strong!'?
But this guy pulls it off.
In short, he's just a loser.
I originally planned to hit him just once, but thinking about it, he pissed me off in so many ways that I decided to just beat the shit out of him.
"Gak...! Stop...! W-wait, you hit bone—aack!"
-Crack! Crunch!
As I continued to beat Arthur, rock and ice suddenly shot up to protect the toilet bowl.
There was no need to wonder what was happening.
Stella and Tia, who had just been watching until now, had erected a wall with magic.
Trying to act like heroines, protecting the toilet bowl. Such touching camaraderie.
"Stop! Why are you so bent on beating Arthur every time you see him?!"
Tia burst out in indignation, asking what grudge I held against him.
Why do I hit him? Because he's a piece of shit.
I'm doing the job he was supposed to do. You expect me not to hit him?
And you thought you could stop me with this?
I smashed my foot down, shattering the wall and kicking Arthur again at the same time.
"H-how?!"
"How? Because you're fucking weak, you slut!"
"S-slut...!?"
Tia was flustered and Stella was horrified by the word they'd never heard before.
Honestly, Tia, Stella, Liche.
All the main heroines are probably virgins at this point in time, but from my perspective, having read in the novel about them losing their virginity, they all seem like non-virgins to me.
Liche especially feels that way, since she even offered her body in exchange for help before.
The two of them tried their best to block me, but when none of their spells worked, they gave up on magic and changed their plan to stopping me physically.
Not that it would change anything.
In the end, Arthur was beaten until his entire body was covered in bruises.
And so, after the big commotion passed.
Leaving the toilet bowl lying on the floor, I returned to the lectern and clapped my hands to get the students' attention.
Everything I planned for today's class is contained in the next sentence.
"Alright, form groups of four. I'm about to explain your group project."
This is how you teach a class, right?