Chapter 5
Chapter 5
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: The Goblin Butchering Show
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After getting an explanation about goblins from Adela, I left the Empire.
I made my way to a forest a short distance from the capital.
All sorts of monsters lived there, including goblins.
As befitting the quintessential trash mob of the fantasy world, they had apparently set up shop at the forest's entrance, while other monsters lived deeper within.
"Ah, damn it. Can't see a thing."
But I couldn't see anything.
I thought I'd finally get to kill some monsters, level up, and live the high life as a transmigrated extra.
But as it turned out, finding these things called goblins was a real pain in the ass.
They were hiding so well, you'd think this was a world dedicated solely to goblin hunting.
Well, I guess it was to be expected.
If they were weak enough to live at the forest's entrance, they'd naturally be prey for other adventurers. And being this close to the Empire, if their numbers grew too large, the imperial forces would probably take care of them.
So of course they'd be hiding. And with the Adventurer's Guild registration test requiring three goblin ears, how could the goblin population not be on the verge of extinction?
"Plus, it's morning..."
As expected of nocturnal goblins, I couldn't find a single trace of them now that it was morning, no matter how hard I looked.
Besides, it's not like I, a former civilian until just a few hours ago, would be able to recognize goblin tracks even if I saw them.
Right now, all I could see were wild animals like rabbits and squirrels.
"This is why novels are so much more convenient."
If this were a novel, a few sentences like, 'He wandered around the forest for a bit and ran into a goblin!' would be enough to make one magically appear before my eyes.
"Then again, I'm not the protagonist."
I wonder what the protagonist is up to right now.
If the story is on track, he's probably grinding for heroine affection points under the guise of a theory class.
The kind of thing where, as fate would have it, he sits next to the second top student, grumbling all the while, and gets strangely entangled with her.
"Tsk, tsk. Those poor heroines."
Honestly, the protagonist's harem? I'm not jealous in the slightest.
I mean, just because of one protagonist, the academy's barriers get shattered, monsters invade, demonic humans suddenly pop up, and named monsters appear during practical training, causing casualties.
Who in their right mind would be jealous of that chaos magnet?
The students at the academy might not know it, but to me, who knows the novel's plot, all the extras there look like they have a death wish.
And the heroines, simply because they're heroines, are destined to get dragged into all of it.
'Honestly, the novel is the weird thing. Any normal person, heroine or not, would have just ditched the protagonist and run for their life.'
You know that guy whose body shrank but his mind stayed the same?
He's a walking murder machine, and I can't for the life of me understand why anyone hangs around him.
As I was walking and thinking about such things...
-Kiek!
I heard the cry of a goblin from beyond the bushes.
It sounded exactly like it does in games and anime, so there was no mistaking it, even though it was my first time hearing it.
It sounded like 'Kiek!!' but it might as well have been 'Goblin!!'
They'd personally come all this way to ask for death. It would be rude to just pass them by.
Was I finally going to see my first monster in this new world? With a pounding heart, I hid among the bushes where the sound came from.
A shape visible between the branches and leaves.
My view grew clearer, and soon, the form of the monster I had so longed to see came into focus.
'Ooh!'
Arms and legs that were bizarrely long in proportion to its torso.
Pointed ears, different from a normal person's.
Bumpy warts on a large nose you'd only see on a witch in a fairy tale.
It was the very picture of a classic fantasy goblin, complete with green skin that screamed 'not human'.
'Ooooh!!'
This was on a whole different level from 3D or 4D.
It wasn't just something I was seeing; it was a real monster that could move on its own and that I could actually touch.
"Hoo. Hoo."
Should I kill it?
Should I kill it?
It wasn't in my nature to stand still with a monster right in front of me.
Three goblins were dragging a wild boar's carcass.
It looked like they were heading back to their lair.
Kill the three goblins now and be done with it, or follow them and raid their entire lair?
'The latter, obviously!'
I'd put off the killing for a bit and follow them for now.
I had to play this for maximum gain.
Besides, the latter option sounded much more fun.
With my mind made up, I carefully followed the goblins as they headed for their lair.
The stupid creatures were just looking straight ahead, completely unaware they were being tailed.
After about ten minutes of tailing them...
In a remote corner of the forest, I saw a large hole in a rock wall that looked like a cave entrance.
'Confirmed.'
Now that I had their location, it was time to kill them.
If I got any closer, the ones inside the lair might all come rushing out.
'And that would ruin the fun for later.'
Licking my lips, I drew the sword hanging from my waist and rushed swiftly behind them.
And just as I closed in on their backs...
"Hey there, fellas!"
I shouted right into a goblin's ear from behind.
-Kiek!?
The startled goblins turned around, but...
-Swoosh!
With a full-powered swing from me, the head of the goblin that had been dragging the boar fell to the ground.
The other two, belatedly realizing their comrade's death, charged at me.
"Mo-ve."
As expected of the weakest monster, they were incredibly slow.
Honestly, how could I not dodge when they were both attacking the same spot at the same time?
I stepped back to avoid the clubs swinging down from my left and right, then held my sword horizontally and thrust forward.
"Solar Flare!!!"
With a squelching sound, I plunged my sword into the goblin's eyeball.
-Kieeeek!!!
The goblin whose eye I'd stabbed let out a pained shriek.
'Solar Flare really is the best.'
Normally, it's a technique that requires a flashlight or can only be used by bald people reflecting sunlight off their heads.
But for me, the ultimate physical therapist, nothing was impossible.
The only problem was the side effect of permanent blindness.
But who cares? It was going to die soon anyway.
I quickly pulled the sword from the goblin's eye and stabbed its other eye.
-Kieeeeeeeek!!!!!!!
Now it wasn't even screaming 'Kiek!!' but 'Kieeek!!'
It was like watching a prime example of how painfully a person can cry when they get LASIK or LASEK without anesthesia.
The moment I pulled the sword out again, the blinded goblin started swinging its club wildly in all directions, so I quickly backed away.
And then...
-Thwack!
-Kiek!!
The blinded goblin's swinging club struck the other goblin squarely on the head.
"Ooh, nice shot, boss!"
It must have been a powerful hit, because the other goblin just crumpled, blood streaming from its head, and died.
They say the scariest person is the one who's blind with rage. It looked like it had really put its all into that swing.
Before it could thrash around any more, I quickly swung my sword to finish it off.
Once again, a goblin's head fell to the ground with a thud.
I could just cut off their ears and take them back to pass the test.
'But just taking them is no fun...'
As I wondered if there was a better, more novel way, I remembered a video I'd once seen on YouTube Shorts.
"Oh. That's a great idea."
I tossed all three goblin heads into my inventory.
A blue window flickered, and the goblin heads vanished.
Now all I had to do was go back.
Just as I was about to turn and head back to the Adventurer's Guild...
[ Level Up! Check your status! ]
A blue window suddenly appeared before my eyes.
Wondering what it was, I said "Status."
[ Information ]
Name: Luke
Sex: Male
Age: 20
Grade: None
Mana: 0 / 0
Level: 12
[ Skills ]
Inventory (F)
[ Stats ]
Strength: 10
Agility: 10
Intelligence: 0
Stamina: 10
Stat Points: 2
My level had gone up.
And I had stat points, too.
"One point per level? What a fucking rip-off."
What era are we in that they only give one stat point per level?
Still, leveling up twice just from killing three goblins meant the experience points were pretty generous.
For a moment, my gaze shifted toward the cave.
"No, I should hold back."
Delicious things taste even better when you save them for later, don't they?
Like a real man, I dumped all my stat points into Strength and started walking back to the Adventurer's Guild.
***
Adela was working hard today, just like any other day.
She organized various requests and posted them on the bulletin board, and dealt with numerous adventurers at the reception desk.
"Adela. Are you free after work today?"
"I'm sorry. I have something to do after I get off today."
An adventurer hitting on her.
"Do you know who I am!?"
"Mr. Lizan. I think you've had too much to drink."
An adventurer who was drunk and causing a scene first thing in the morning.
All sorts of things happened, but among them, there was one particularly unusual event.
An academy student named Luke had come to join the Adventurer's Guild.
She knew he had dropped out, thanks to the Guild Master's explanation, but it was still surprising.
It was an unprecedented event, not just during her time working here, but since the guild's very founding.
In any case, Luke was now out hunting goblins for his registration test.
Since he had been an academy student, his skills were more or less guaranteed, so she wasn't worried that he would be defeated by mere goblins.
'Still, it'll probably take him a while.'
She did think that much.
Adela herself had never gone to hunt goblins, but from what she heard from the adventurers, the goblins were surprisingly good at hiding and difficult to find.
There was even talk among the higher-ups that they should change the test to something other than goblins these days.
Given that, she figured he wouldn't be back until after lunch.
And just as Adela predicted, Luke returned around the time lunch was over.
"I'm glad you're safe."
Adventurers led dangerous lives, constantly fighting monsters.
Receptionists had a duty to remember the adventurers who went out on quests and offer such words to welcome their return.
And Adela didn't find this part of her job unpleasant at all.
Adventurers were, in a sense, the soldiers of this world.
Though they did it to make a living in a world crawling with monsters, they were people who risked their lives to fight those monsters, and as such, they deserved respect.
She could wish for their safety and congratulate them on their return until her mouth went dry, and Adela took pride in that work.
"Are goblins always this hard to find?"
"Hmm... I'm a receptionist, so I don't know the details, but from what the adventurers say, that seems to be the case."
After answering Luke's question, she noticed that his hands were empty.
Usually, adventurers would carry monster parts in a small pouch or a storage artifact, but he was completely empty-handed.
'Did he fail to find any and just come back...?'
Storage artifacts were expensive and typically used only by nobles.
If Luke had something like that, there would have been no reason for him to quit the academy to become an adventurer, so he was likely a commoner.
In that case, she should have seen a pouch, but even that was missing. Adela couldn't help but assume he hadn't found any goblins.
'They're nocturnal, and I've heard they've been hard to find lately, so it must have been difficult to find them in broad daylight.'
Comforting an adventurer who had failed a quest was also part of a receptionist's job.
"It's okay, Luke. You can do better next time."
Luke wasn't an adventurer yet, but she figured he'd be able to get the ears by evening, so she offered him words of comfort.
However, his reply was a stark contradiction to his empty-handed appearance.
"Huh? I brought the goblins back."
And before she could ask what he meant, he waved his hand in the air.
And placed three goblin heads on the reception counter.
"Ah, ahhhhh!!!"
Seeing them, Adela let out a shrill scream.
In an instant, all the adventurers' eyes shot toward the reception desk.
And the one who had caused all this...
"Alright, the goblin butchering show is about to begin~"