Chapter 37
Chapter 37
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 37
Chapter Title: The Womanizer
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I left the mansion after getting the count to agree to triple the fee.
If the count hadn't doubted me, I could have settled for double, but he foolishly suspected me, so the price went up to triple.
Well, to be fair, when some weirdo shows up claiming he can solve a problem that's been a massive headache in just one day, it's only natural to be suspicious.
I, on the other hand, know the truth behind this incident, so I can speak with confidence.
"You're amazing, Luke. To think you'd negotiate with a nobleman..."
"Are nobles some different species? They're people, just like us."
That's why you shouldn't be so quick to doubt people.
Noble or not, once shit hits the fan, you don't think about ranks, Luna.
In fact, it was something soldiers in Korea used to say all the time.
If a war broke out, the first to die would be the officers.
"Oh, oh..."
"?"
As Luna and I were heading out the main gate, I heard that sound.
I looked ahead and saw some short, fat pig staring at me.
No, to be precise, he was only staring at Luna.
"Th-That beautiful lady over there, what might your name be? Might I be so bold as to ask?"
Ugh, gross. Listen to the way he talks.
I was a total loser in my school days, but I was never *that* bad.
And what's with asking for permission after you've already asked the question?
This is definitely the region from the womanizer arc. Speak of the devil, he's spouting the exact same lines I read in the novel.
The synchronization is 100 percent, to a degree that's embarrassing even for me to hear.
'I guess it has to be identical since it's him.'
The vampire case I took on is an episode where all the adventurers who investigated it disappeared, becoming prey for the vampires.
After that, Arthur and his heroines came to deal with the awakened vampire queen.
That useless soldier who tried to stop me and this womanizer also appeared back then. Naturally, the womanizer hit on Arthur's girls and got taught a lesson with a slap to each cheek from Tia and Liche.
But what's fucking hilarious is that his character is set up as this massive romantic.
He hits on every woman he finds attractive, aiming for some kind of... harem-style pure love? I think that's what it was. Anyway, pure love is pure love, so he tries to look cool and be sincere to win over the ladies.
The problem is that he's ugly no matter how much he tries to look cool, and his greasy behavior has the opposite effect, making women avoid him without him even having to say a word.
Actually, both that soldier from earlier and this womanizer would have quickly cowered if Liche, from a ducal house, and Tia, from a marquis house, had used their family names to apply a little pressure. He's only the son of a count, after all.
But from the moment you enroll in the academy, you're pretty much cut off from your family's support.
At the academy, where status means nothing, relying on your family's help because you can't hack it would make you nothing more than an idiot whining to his parents, "Waaah~ Daddy~ Mommy~ This is too haaard~"
If a rumor like that got out, you'd become a laughingstock and end up dropping out on your own.
"My name is Haiven Devon. If you don't mind, how about a meal with me?"
I thought I wouldn't get involved since he's only interested in women, but I'd forgotten that Luna is quite the looker herself.
If I'd known from the start this was where he'd show up, I wouldn't have come, but what can I do when I only remembered after I got here?
At the pig's advance, Luna shot him a look of genuine contempt.
Hey, that's gotta hurt, no matter what.
Or maybe not? He actually seems to like it. I guess this is what they call a reward in the business.
The corner of his mouth twitched, and for a moment, it looked like Luna, uncharacteristically, was about to curse him out, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
I would have, but it seems she hasn't completely shed her pushover tendencies yet.
"I'm sorry. I am this gentleman's companion."
Luna subtly hid behind me.
Hey, is it right for a slave to hide behind her master?
You're the one who should be stepping forward to block him.
Still, for her to reject a nobleman's son's offer... in the past, she wouldn't have been able to refuse a noble's proposition and would have just nervously watched for cues. She really has changed a lot.
Only after Luna hid behind me did the pig's gaze fall upon me.
He then scowled deeply, and I scowled right back at him.
Who does he think he is, scowling at me?
"Ha? And what are you?"
"The guy your daddy hired."
"Wh-What?"
Who holds the highest rank in a count's domain?
The count, obviously. If you go to the empire, there are dukes, marquises, and other counts, but within your own territory, you're the boss.
He can live like such a hooligan because people have no choice but to prop him up, so the kid still doesn't know how scary the world can be.
I guess I'll have to teach him.
"Ah. Now that you mention it, Father did say he put in a request with the Adventurer's Guild."
How can you be so uninterested in the affairs of the territory you live in?
This is the guy who'll become the head of the family when his father dies. The future of this domain is looking bright.
It would probably be better to just uproot this failed crop of a son now and have a new one.
"So you're a commoner. How dare a mere commoner hold his head so high in front of me?"
This is one of the reasons I hated the womanizer arc.
No, it wasn't just me; all the readers hated it.
He acted all high and mighty, force-feeding readers frustration throughout the entire vampire episode, and the long-awaited "cider" that finally came when they were on the verge of suffocating was just a few slaps to the face—like a soda that had gone completely flat.
He's a guy who endlessly fawns over women, but the moment he sees a man, he becomes hostile.
Honestly, I have no desire to receive any goodwill from another guy, so I don't mind him being hostile.
"Luna. What if we just frame this guy as the culprit in the disappearance case? If I solve it secretly, we could make it look like he was the real culprit, don't you think?"
"That sounds like a good idea."
Normally, Luna would have looked at me like I was insane, but this time, the sleazy advance must have really pissed her off, because she agreed.
"You commoner bastard! Who do you think you are, speaking to her in my presence!"
It seems he lost his mother early on, because he clearly wasn't raised right.
Meanwhile, his father is working so hard.
And what's with that blubbery body?
Isaac Devon, who came out earlier to check on the commotion, at least had enough strength to defend himself.
He actually looked like he trained, and his body was in good shape.
But unlike his father, this one seems to have done nothing but play, eat, and roll around all day. Calling him a pig is an insult to pigs.
If I had to make a comparison, he's like a giant, overinflated balloon with a human face drawn on it.
"Hey. This is why you're not popular with women, you fucking loser."
"Wh-What did you say?!"
"You insolent fool! Who do you think you're running your mouth to!"
Are they birds of a feather, or is it just part of the job to act all tough on the outside?
His escorts, who were tagging along because he's a noble, I guess, took offense at my remark and jumped forward.
"Hah! It seems you still don't know your place. I am the eldest son of Isaac Devon, the man who hired you! If I tell my father, you'll be fired on the spot!"
"Then go ahead and tell him."
You'd think he was the client.
I considered myself a loser in my past life, but trying to talk to a true-blue loser right in front of me, I can't hold back from hitting him at least once.
I will teach him a lesson and avenge the frustrations of tens of thousands of readers.
I took a step forward, intending to throw just one punch.
"Stop! I will not tolerate any more of this outrage!"
"The one causing the outrage is that pig over there."
"Insolent!"
He's been watching this whole time, so why is he calling me insolent now?
The guards at his side began to draw their swords one by one.
"Wow, Luna. This is why information is so important. If they had heard what happened to the knights inside the mansion just now, they wouldn't have even thought about drawing their swords on me."
"For once... I think you might be right."
This is when you say someone doesn't know their place, not the way nobles throw the phrase around.
"Commoner! I challenge you to a duel! If you lose, she will be mine!"
Look at this little shit.
He's not even the one who's going to fight, yet he's talking about a duel?
And he's boldly declaring his intent to NTR a slave right in front of her master.
I guess this is why the class system disappeared.
The stupid ones hastened their own demise, so all the esteemed nobles died off, leaving only the commoners.
"Go, Lunamon! I choose you!"
"...Even I'm not a fan of that one."
"Ahem. When your master gives an order, you do it. No back talk."
I wonder what it feels like to be beaten up by a woman you're so obsessed with.
Is it like the feeling a loser in school gets when he confesses to a girl who was nice to him, only to be met with scorn?
I don't know what it feels like, so I'll have to ask the pig later.
At my command, Luna reluctantly gripped her sword.
But the corners of her mouth were turned up slightly. It seems the thought of beating up this pig was putting her in a good mood.
Afterward, a battle ensued between the soldiers and Luna, but there's no need for a grand description. It ended with Luna's victory.
The soldiers were about the same level as the guys I turned into Galaxy Folds earlier, and if the soldiers of a mere domain were that strong, there would have been no need to hire an adventurer.
When the fight was over, Luna, not being a modern person like me, couldn't turn them into Galaxy Folds, which is why the soldiers were just lying on the ground.
And then we approached the pig, who was just standing there dumbly.
"Luna. Should I hit him? Or do you want to?"
"I'll do it. If you hit him with your strength, his face won't be in one piece."
"Good thinking."
Luna sheathed her sword and walked toward the pig.
He stumbled backward awkwardly, then looked at me and shrieked.
"D-Do you think you can get away with this!"
Look at him. Luna was the one who beat up his guards, but he's only yelling at me.
Spoken like a true womanizer, defending Luna until the very end.
"If I just tell my father, you people will be...!"
-Smack!
Ah. That one looked like it hurt.