Chapter 117
Chapter 117
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 117
Chapter Title: How to Ask a Favor
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Tssss— Tssss—.
The sound and smell of burning flesh filled the Adventurer's Guild. The stench of goblin and elf ears charring together made even the most stoic adventurers gag. Liche, who was cauterizing the ears, and Yui and Luna, standing beside me, were all holding their breath.
"Aaaaaargh!! Aaargh! Stooooop!!!"
"God, you're loud, you bastard!"
*Thwack!*
It doesn't even take that long to attach the ears, so why is he screaming his head off? He was so damn noisy I had to shut him up with a silencing punch. I think I finally understand why they use general anesthesia for major surgeries in my past life. If the patient is this loud, it must seriously affect the surgeon's concentration.
"Mmphh—!!"
"Sir. You can't do this here."
For the record, the first elf fainted from the pain during the ear-attachment process. What kind of warrior passes out from a little searing flesh? A true warrior should be able to jump rope with his own intestines even if they're spilling out.
I handed a mirror to the elf, now with goblin ears on both sides. He took one look at his reflection and went limp like a marionette with its strings cut, utterly motionless from the shock. Next, I approached the female elf. It was her turn to be made into a gob-ear. She glared at me as if she wanted to kill me. As if *I* were the villain, even though they were the ones who attacked first.
"Hmph… Kill me!"
"That's a line straight out of some trashy comic."
You're lucky you said that to me. If you'd said it in front of an orc, you'd be having a *very* interesting time. The others were all gob-eared now; who was she, their superior, to get off easy? I gave her the same treatment, but she didn't even make a peep, as if she'd had some kind of torture resistance training.
I offered a mirror to her, the newly appointed captain of the gob-eared, but she just snatched it and threw it into a corner, clearly not wanting to look.
"Alright, shall we get ready to go to Alfheim?"
""…?""
It wasn't just the elves who gave me a strange look at my words. Luna, Yui, and Liche all looked at me as if they wanted an explanation.
"Um… Sir Luke? I thought you weren't going to Alfheim?"
"I have to get compensation for the damages."
They came looking for me, minding my own business, and even drew their swords. Did they think it would all be over after I beat them up a little? Revenge is revenge, but I still need to get what I'm owed. Don't they know that the superior is responsible for their subordinate's mistakes? It's called joint responsibility. If I don't go and get some compensation from the World Tree, I'll be too upset to sleep tonight.
"I'll have to go and break off at least one branch from the World Tree to make it worth my while."
I happened to need materials for my weapon, and a branch from the World Tree would be perfect. As I said this with complete sincerity, the elf—no, the woman who was now the captain of the gob-eared—crawled over, grabbed my leg, and pleaded with me to spare it.
"P-Please, anything but that…"
"Use polite language."
"…?"
"Try saying, 'I beg of you.'"
She doesn't seem to understand the situation. I'm the one in control here. Who does she think she is, speaking to me so informally? We'll start with polite language. And so, without a moment's hesitation, she complied.
"I… beg of you…"
Their actions were about to cause trouble for the god they served. What was a little pride in comparison? Of course, for the sake of their god's well-being, a scrap of pride was worth less than a piece of trash on the ground.
"No, that's not it. Your posture is all wrong for asking a favor."
It seems they don't even know the basics of how to ask someone for something. In Korea, there's a specific pose you use when you've done something wrong or need to ask a favor. As everyone knows, it's the grand bow. But if you cross the sea to the island next door, there's a posture a step above even that magnificent bow. And that is...
"The naked dogeza."
"…What?"
"Ah. I guess the word 'dogeza' doesn't exist here. I'm telling you to strip naked and prostrate yourself."
If you're going to ask for a favor, you should at least show that much sincerity. Could our noble elf warrior, so full of pride, perform a naked dogeza in front of all these people? But the question of whether she would or wouldn't was already moot.
Left with no choice, the female elf began to remove her clothes, one piece at a time. Seizing the opportunity, male adventurers started to stare. She hesitated for a moment but soon continued undressing. She neatly folded her removed clothes and placed them beside her, then knelt before me and bowed her head low.
"I… I beg of you…"
"Yeah~ no~"
"…"
If I let her off just for that, what would be the point of police in the world? I never thought she'd actually do it, but even if she did, I had no intention of letting them off the hook from the start.
"Let's move, for now."
I felt the need to change locations if we were to continue. Making her do a naked dogeza in the middle of the guild hall was making the back of my head tingle. I turned around to see who was staring so intensely, and it was Adela, shooting lasers from her eyes. So, we moved to the dining hall, picking up the elves on the way.
"…Why did you bring us along?"
"I need a guide."
The location of Alfheim, the village where the elves live, is basically a secret. The lore says the World Tree has cast a massive barrier over the forest, and you'll just wander lost unless you're accompanied by an elf. That means I need them with me to get in.
"You might as well kill us. I don't believe you can harm Lady Yggdrasil, but you could still be a nuisance, so we will not take you."
"Really? Are you sure about that?"
"…What are you trying to say?"
"Well~ Didn't the World Tree tell you to bring me? I was just wondering if it's okay for you to ignore an order from the god you serve~"
Who would dare refuse a superior's command? Even in the military, if an officer gives an order, you follow it. You wouldn't find anyone putting up a wall, saying, 'I reserve the right to refuse this order.' If that were possible, ranks wouldn't exist in the first place.
"…We have the right to refuse an order if Lady Yggdrasil's safety is at risk."
"Wow~ The World Tree's prestige has really fallen these days. To think mere elves have the right to refuse its orders."
Even though I'd said 'mere elves,' they remained silent. Because even they knew that compared to the World Tree, they were indeed 'mere elves.' Honestly, what kind of lunatic would try to be on equal footing with the god they serve? A god like that wouldn't be a god, just a joke.
"You worship it, calling it a god and all that, but if you're just going to do whatever you want, what kind of god is that? It's just a joke."
*Grit.* The elves ground their teeth and glared at me for insulting the World Tree. But that was all they could do. They knew they'd just get their asses kicked again if they tried anything.
"You said the world is in danger, right~? What do you call what you're doing right now, if not bringing about the world's destruction~?"
"…"
"Wow, still not talking? Fine, then. I have no choice but to kill you all and burn down the forest."
"…!"
The elves finally reacted when I threatened to burn the forest. It's true I can't get in without them, but that's it. If I can't get in, I'll just burn the whole forest down. I'll drive the elves to extinction along with their World Tree. After everything's turned to ash, I can just collect the remnants of the tree.
Having gotten a glimpse of the kind of person 'I' was, the elves must have realized I was capable of actually setting the forest on fire. The female elf captain began to consider her options seriously. It seemed like it would take a while, so just as I took a bite of bread, Luna spoke up on behalf of the three of them.
"Sir Luke. Could you explain it to us, too?"
"Explain what?"
"The reason they came looking for you. Is this another event?"
"Something like an event."
The World Tree Episode. It's too large in scale to be called a mere event, so it's referred to as an entire episode. The elves were being dramatic when they said the world would end; in reality, ignoring this won't destroy the world. It will, however, lead to about a quarter of the continent turning into a desert.
"Do you remember that monster I mentioned back in the marquis's domain?"
"I… don't think so."
Liche wasn't there at the time, so her reaction was natural. Luna and Yui, on the other hand, remembered it vaguely, as it had only been a few months.
"I remember! The monster that created the desert!"
"I believe… you said it was an S-Class monster."
"It's appearing this time."
"What?"
"It is…?"
Only Liche, who didn't know what we were talking about, tilted her head in confusion. Luna and Yui asked again as if they'd misheard. The S-Class monster I'd mentioned a few times before, the Volcanic Horned Dragon. That's the monster appearing in this World Tree Episode. Not one of the half-assed monsters we'd seen so far, but one dangerous enough to alter the map all by itself.
"The monster that created that desert is about to appear."
"Th-Then isn't it impossible to win?!"
"Just as you said, Yui, normally we wouldn't be able to win."
That's why the event takes place in Alfheim. As I explained before, elves have the highest average combat strength of any race, so they can hold their own against an S-Class monster.
The other reason is the World Tree. It's on par with an S-Class monster, but it has zero offensive capabilities. That's why it has to focus on defense and fight a war of attrition.
"This whole episode was designed for you to just get a carry, anyway."
"A carry…?"
"Yeah, to let someone else do the heavy lifting."
An S-Class monster, of all things. No matter how much of a protagonist you are, in a growth-type story, you can't defeat something like that this early. Even in the original story, this episode was a part where you fought moderately and grew. So, I could just get a carry, but…
"But you know, I wonder how much EXP an S-Class monster gives."
Last time, during the A-Class monster raid, didn't I gain 8 levels even after splitting the EXP? Then an S-Class monster should give at least 10 levels, right? It wouldn't be right for a Korean gamer to pass up a Hyper Burning Event.
"You're really planning to hunt it, aren't you…"
"Of course. You think I'm faking it?"
"Can we really win with just us?"
"Of course not."
"…?"
The World Tree's skills are all focused on defense and support. It can give buffs to raise allies' attack power, but even with a buff, an A-Class fighter can only approach S-Class, not become one. So where does the missing firepower come from? To prepare for such a time, one of the top three humans on the continent is there.
"The Weapon Master. An S-Class adventurer is on a long-term dispatch to Alfheim."
If Lucia is the pinnacle of mages, called the Elemental Master, then the Weapon Master is the pinnacle of warriors. He will make up for the lack of firepower.
"If there's an S-Class adventurer there, is there a reason we're needed?"
"How should I know? You'll have to ask the World Tree that."
Just then, as if on cue, the elf's long deliberation came to an end.
"…I will guide you. So please, don't burn the forest."
You should have just said so from the start.
"Then let's depart in three days."
"Why the delay…?"
I have to pick up Luna's weapon.
***
Three days later.
"Wh-Why are you here?!"
"That's what I'd like to ask."
Hah… These fucking pointy-eared bastards. If you're going to do something, just do one thing. They're so damn greedy.