Chapter 101
Chapter 101
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 101
Chapter Title: You Are Already Dead
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101. Omae wa mou shindeiru
A week had passed since the day of the competition.
'Time flies so damn fast.'
It felt like just yesterday I was invited to be a professor at the academy, but now it's been nearly two months since we came here.
"Hmm... What should I do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"About being a professor."
I've fulfilled my promise to Lucia to stay for one or two months, so it's up to me when I quit.
Honestly, after being away for two months, it's about time they let it go, right? With this much time, I could have already reached A-rank and been looking at S-rank.
If I stay any longer, my main job will become professor instead of adventurer.
If I still hear any talk about nepotism or whatever, I'll personally switch careers to a wanted criminal.
"It hasn't actually been that long, but it feels like we've been here for a very long time."
"Because a lot has happened."
There was the Behemoth invasion, the demon invasion, and the competition.
There were plenty of other smaller things too, but the important point is that all of this happened in a short period of less than two months.
"I was debating whether to quit soon or stick around to see one more event."
"What's the next event?"
"The toilet's growth event."
"What happens when he grows?"
"He'll get an upgrade from a squat toilet to a sitting one, I guess?"
"..."
What's a toilet going to become even if it grows?
I wish he'd at least become a bidet soon.
"So, what do you think, Yui?"
"Me? I don't mind staying longer! The students often share their snacks with me!"
Yui's eyes sparkled.
She's always munching on candy or snacks, and I wondered where she was getting them since I never gave her any.
Giving kids too many snacks spoils them.
"But... it's toilet... I mean, Arthur's event. Why do you want to stay and see it?"
"Because the next event is pretty fun."
"If you say it's fun, Luke, doesn't that mean it's probably dangerous...?"
"It is dangerous."
For the toilet, not me.
"You asked what the next event is, right? It's a curse."
"...The name alone sounds dangerous enough."
"The name sounds impressive, but in reality, it's no big deal."
Really, I mean that literally.
To begin with, this event isn't serious at all unless you're Arthur himself.
From anyone else's perspective, daily life just continues as if nothing happened.
Do you know the fairy tale 'The Frog Prince'? This event is based on that.
This time, the black magic that's been popping up now and then finally makes its appearance. Somewhere in a corner of the Empire, the demonic humans gather and activate a magic circle like the one we saw during the Behemoth incident.
That magic circle is for a transformation spell, and the demonic humans use it to turn Arthur, the greatest threat to them and the demons, into a frog.
What happens next is obvious, isn't it? The way to break the curse, ridiculously enough, is a princess's kiss.
In this case, the main heroine would play the role of the princess.
Liche couldn't care less if a frog is hopping around in front of her, and Tia, naturally, hates frogs.
"The funniest part in the original story was when Tia almost killed Arthur after he turned into a frog."
"K-killed him?"
"...Isn't that a bit too cruel?"
"No, normally, it wouldn't be strange for a controversy about Tia's character to pop up, right?"
-Tia's character, killing him just because she hates him, damn.
-TiaCoin is crashing. About to be delisted. The Tia-Arthur shippers are utterly destroyed.
It was a situation where comments like these wouldn't have been out of place.
"But given the circumstances..."
At first, Tia avoids him too, since no one wants to be near something they hate.
But stupid Arthur keeps following her anyway. So, from Tia's perspective, having reached her limit, she'd want to kill him.
Think about it. I'm the type who dips my sweet and sour pork, but what if a friend who pours the sauce all over it kept following me and drenching my pork in sauce?
I might tolerate it the first few times, but by the third time, I'd have used the chopsticks in front of me to stab that bastard's eyes out.
In reality, at that point, Arthur was in the wrong. Why chase after the one girl who hates him when there are so many other heroines? A wave of sympathy for her formed along those lines.
For the record, the part where Arthur grows from the curse event is gaining curse immunity. It's a bit of a stingy reward for what's basically an equivalent exchange for death, but I guess that's because it's a minor event for everyone but him.
"But, Luke. I have a question. You said they turn Arthur into a frog because he's the greatest threat to the demons."
"Yup."
"What's the standard for 'greatest threat'? Aren't the Headmaster, Lucia, or other S-rank adventurers more threatening?"
Of course, Lucia and the other S-rank adventurers are much stronger compared to the toilet right now.
"But they aren't immune to the inherent unfairness of demonic powers."
Didn't you see Lucia get injured during the last event?
As it's described several times in the story, demons are the very embodiment of that unfairness. They can render an individual's power mostly useless, no matter how strong they are.
The reason Arthur stands out is, without a doubt, because of his light magic. He dismantles all of the demons' absurd techniques with a single flash of light. From the demons' perspective, how fucking annoying would that be?
"And Arthur kills the most demons and demonic humans. That probably plays a part too."
"But... haven't you killed the most demons and demonic humans, Luke?"
Huh? Now that you mention it, you're right.
It turns out like that?
"No? But I'll be fine, right?"
The status effect resistance I have.
If I didn't see it wrong last time, I understand it resists all sorts of status effects, including curses.
So a feeble curse like that won't work on me. If they want to transform me, they'll need to bring a Demon God.
"Alright. I'll stick around until the next event, then."
"But based on what you just said, isn't this an event with no benefit for you, Luke?"
"Nonsense. What are you talking about?"
How fun will it be to watch the toilet-turned-frog nearly get killed by a heroine?
"I'm sure you guys will enjoy it too."
***
"The next practical exercise will be survival training."
These were the words of Lucia, who had come to visit us while we were resting in our quarters.
"What?"
"The next practical exercise is a deserted island survival test."
It's not that I didn't hear you, but hearing it again is still a bit of a shock.
Wait, the survival event isn't supposed to happen until the second semester.
Why the hell is it happening now? Goddammit, give me back my frog event.
To think I won't get to see the toilet as a frog... I was even planning to make him mate with a female frog.
A tsunami of disappointment washes over me.
"Why, though?"
"Normally, we would proceed to practical exercises after sufficient theory classes, but due to recent events, we've decided to change the order of the curriculum slightly."
In short, they've switched the order of theory and practice because of the frequent attacks by demons and demonic humans.
It looks like a ploy to strengthen the students' individual combat skills, and it's true they've been appearing a lot lately.
They weren't this overworked even in the original story. A guy who wasn't supposed to show up did, and the Behemoth event, which could have been stopped, was actually moved up.
'So in the end, I'm reaping what I sowed...'
Then again, it's not just the demons who can cause changes through the butterfly effect.
This is reality, not a novel. People can think and act for themselves, and on a larger scale, so can monsters.
"So, what do we have to do?"
"You will be hunting the B-rank and higher monsters on the island. They are still too much for the first-year students to handle."
I was wondering why they were letting students loose in such a battlefield. So that was the reason.
What Lucia just said is a detail that wasn't in the novel.
When I read the novel, I just thought it was an island with a lot of D-rank and C-rank monsters. I had no idea the professors were busting their asses behind the scenes.
"Okay. When is the survival test?"
"In three days."
They're not even giving us time to prepare.
"I'll explain again in more detail later, but do you have any other questions for now?"
"Nope."
"I see. Well then, I'll be on my way."
Lucia left right after.
Then Luna, who had been listening politely, approached and asked me a subtle question.
"Weren't you going to quit being a professor?"
"I was planning to, but I'm going to get one more skill before I leave."
"A skill...?"
"Yeah. A demon shows up during the survival test."
"Again...?"
"My thoughts exactly."
At this point, I'm starting to think demons and demonic humans are a common sight.
The lore definitely said they were beings you'd be lucky to meet even once in your life.
Then I wonder how many times the kids at this academy have won the lottery.
"Tsk, tsk. They should have just stuck with theory classes. Trying to do something extra just caused this."
Poor Lucia.
She moved up the survival test with good intentions, not knowing it would become a warzone.
"But with the professors and the Headmaster right there, can a demon really appear?"
"Ah, that's fine. Demonic humans also show up as a freebie, so it can appear confidently."
"Huh...?"
In the first place, holding a survival test implies a very large area.
Even if the island is small, do you think you can get from one end to the other in a short time?
"Remember the demonic human I killed here before?"
"Ah... you mean that student."
"All the demonic humans he persuaded will show up then."
So the professors will be busy hunting down those demonic humans.
The very students who were once their disciples.
"Besides, the demon that appears there isn't aiming for a massacre. Its goal is to escape."
Think about it. There's a disaster known as an S-rank adventurer nearby. Would it want to be killed or sealed away again right after being unsealed?
Of course, escaping is the primary objective. The secondary objective is to kill any students it finds while escaping.
The students who turned into demonic humans are there to buy it time to escape.
While the demonic humans are being killed by the professors and the Headmaster, the demon gets away.
Now that I think about it, it's a plausible setup.
"I'm asking just in case... but which demon appears there?"
"Hex."
"...Wouldn't it be better to tell Liche that information?"
"Why should I?"
You think information is something you should just sprinkle around freely?
It's a hassle, but information is far more valuable than material things.
"No, wait a minute."
Maybe telling her wouldn't be so bad.
The powerlessness and despair of searching her whole life, only to collapse without achieving anything.
Watching that from the sidelines sounds pretty fun.
"Alright. Let's go tell her."
***
And so, I went to find Liche to give her the information.
"Omae wa mou shindeiru."
"....?"