Chapter 469: Proof of Existence (57)
Chapter 469: Proof of Existence (57)
The night is dark.
It was a statement of the obvious, yet for the Academy, it was a proposition that was rarely true. This was a place where tens of thousands of people resided. Whether it was day or night, there wasn't a corner that didn't radiate the light of civilization.
There were only a few days in the year when the Academy, usually teeming with crowds, fell silent.
And today was one of those "few days."
One of the Academy's celebrities had been referred to a religious trial. The charge was nothing less than betraying humanity. Rumors openly circulated throughout the Academy that a death sentence was certain.
This unbelievable news had stripped the Academy of its warmth like a cold wave.
Fearing they might be linked to the Saintess, students curtailed their activities. Faculty members were preoccupied every day with devising countermeasures, and in the end, the Academy had become a den of rats.
Sinners hiding because they feared the sun.
This wasn't a story limited to this place. I had heard that the entire world was anxious to deny any connection with the Saintess.
In this world of rats, I stood alone, looking up at the sky.
There was no particular reason.
I simply couldn't sleep. My body, throbbing and aching with every step, was screaming at me.
It’s impossible.
Even if my body were perfectly fine, I saw no way to save the Saintess. There was no way I could do anything with a body stitched together like a rag.
The sense of helplessness that had returned after so long was agonizing.
The warmth of the Saintess still seemed to linger on my lips. I remembered her breath against my ear. And even that shy confession, telling me she loved me.
"Phew," I exhaled a sigh that rose from deep within my chest.
To the north of the Academy sat a low mountain. I was currently staring blankly at the moon from an observation deck situated halfway up its slope.
Suddenly, a heavy voice pierced my ears.
"There are many people who can't find sleep tonight."
The sound of footsteps trudging down from the summit.
I turned my gaze slightly, then startled, I had to bow my head. Standing there was a middle-aged man with passionate red hair and a beard.
Professor Derek.
A legendary Demonic Beast hunter and the person who had most sincerely overseen my swordsmanship training within the Academy. As his disciple, it was only right that I bowed.
It felt like it had been a very long time since I'd seen him. I had received his help a few times before to rescue the Princess during the Homecoming Festival.
While I was hesitating at the sudden encounter, Professor Derek offered a casual compliment.
"Your presence has stabilized a lot... Have you awakened your Mental Imagery?"
"Ye—yes? Ah... yes, probably..."
Despite my vague answer, Professor Derek merely let out a short chuckle.
The muscular man naturally took a spot beside me.
My head, which was already complicated enough, became completely tangled. No matter how close you got to a professor, they were always difficult figures.
Fortunately, the professor wasn't someone who loved silence for its own sake.
"Do you know why Mental Imagery is important?"
It was an abrupt question.
I hesitated, unable to answer immediately.
Wasn't it because one must establish Mental Imagery to move on to the next stage? For a martial artist who has reached the Expert level, Mental Imagery significantly influences growth, alongside the body and Mana.
It was because it strengthened the power of Aura.
And once that Mental Imagery awakens to a certain stage, the Aura begins to distort reality. That was the awakening of Aura known as "Blooming."
However, it didn't seem like he was asking about such common knowledge.
The professor didn't keep me in suspense.
"It keeps your life thread attached."
I remained silent at the overly simple reason.
I looked at Professor Derek with a questioning gaze.
Regardless, Professor Derek continued as if he were relaying a very important fact.
"Mental Imagery distorts reality. It means turning the impossible into the possible. In other words, it can move a body that should be dead and immobile. That makes a decisive difference in actual combat."
"So that's why I could move."
Only then could I understand the previous battle.
A body with a pierced heart, coughing up a mountain of blood, moving again.
It was nonsense. I should have died and vanished that day.
But because I had awakened my Mental Imagery, my body moved again. If I thought of it that way, it wasn't impossible.
"Of course, awakening Mental Imagery is that difficult. To turn the impossible into the possible... it means you must harbor a Mental Imagery that strong."
"When did you awaken yours, Professor Derek?"
"Right before I died."
As if reminiscing about that time, the muscular man slowly closed his eyes.
"And when I crossed the threshold of death once more, I caught a glimpse. Of the end of this path..."
"Were you a High Expert?"
I spoke in a tone of genuine surprise.
No one had ever seen Professor Derek's full power. Since he tended to move alone when hunting Demonic Beasts, few people knew his true strength.
Perhaps only Dean Delemore knew.
Across the entire continent, there were only a few dozen individuals who were "High Experts" or "Archmages." I had heard there were a few among the Academy professors, but to think it was Professor Derek.
Was it because the rumors of him being a commoner Demonic Beast hunter had influenced my unconscious mind?
I couldn't help but reflect on my bias.
"It was a very brief moment, but I saw a fragment of everything then. For that moment, I was under the illusion that I was omnipotent."
"To that extent?"
"It's easiest to think of it as catching a temporary glimpse of the Master realm."
Come to think of it, I remembered Sir Reynold saying something similar.
That he had seen a fragment of truth. That he had to exert all his effort not to be swept away by it.
"Hmm," I was about to swallow a strange groan when he spoke.
"Don't go trying to die on purpose, though."
It was a remark tossed out like a joke, but I couldn't help but flinch at the advice.
The eyes of the veteran swordsman were silently fixed on me.
"Even if they die dozens of times, only a few swordsmen can see the 'end.'"
"Then would hundreds of times not be enough?"
At my counter-question, the professor let out a faint laugh, as if it were absurd.
"Naturally, you'd die before then. Also, if you have that many near-death experiences, you're not really living even if you're alive."
A thick index finger circled his temple.
"You'll become a living corpse... the human mind isn't that strong."
With that, Professor Derek began to trudge away again.
It seemed he had finished saying everything he wanted to convey to his disciple.
"Besides, it's no way to treat the people around you. Surviving a life-threatening crisis hundreds of times... their hearts won't just ache; they'll dry up completely. Imagine if you actually died."
Thump. Professor Derek's large hand patted my shoulder twice as he passed by.
"That Lainella brat up there seems to be suffering quite a bit as well."
"...Lainella?"
The last thing I heard was Professor Derek's chuckle at my mutter.
Now that I thought about it, I hadn't met my companions since returning to the Academy.
The comrades who fought 'Greed' alongside me wouldn't be in good shape either. Each of them had suffered a wound to their heart.
Celine had once again been unable to help and had even attacked me.
Ria had to hear herself called a "fake" to her face, and Senior Elsie had lost the uncle she respected.
I've been thinking too much about myself.
After hesitating for a long time after Professor Derek left, I finally sighed and steeled my resolve.
Caring for my comrades' hearts was also an important duty.
Even though my own torn heart seemed to have no way to heal.
I hurried my steps to the summit of the low mountain.
There, just as Professor Derek had said, stood a Lainella bursting into tears.
"Ugh, hic... U-Uncle..."
Lupin Lainella, Senior Elsie's younger brother.
Seeing him crying so hideously, my face immediately crumpled.
"...Son of a bitch."
I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd been tricked.
* * *
A glass of alcohol.
Alcohol can make a person dull or sensitive. Usually, the first glass tends to amplify emotions.
Lupin, sobbing as he sat across from me, was exactly like that.
He still couldn't stop his tears. It seemed he, too, had been very attached to Sir Reynold.
Of course, whether a guy was blubbering or not was none of my business.
A detached voice flowed from my lips.
"What about Senior Elsie?"
"Ugh, hic... Sh-she's confined to her room... probably training..."
So mages can train even inside their rooms.
The thought that it must be quite convenient briefly crossed my mind. Though I doubted Senior Elsie's resolve was merely at that level.
I downed a glass of alcohol with a sigh.
I wanted to enjoy the night atmosphere in silence, but the sound of sobbing kept catching my ear. Eventually, a faint reproach leaked through my lips.
"Hey, you're a man. Why are you whining so much?"
"B-but..."
"Sir Reynold would surely love to see this."
Only then did Lupin try to suppress his crying. Tears streamed down his trembling chin.
Did the man have that much charisma?
My eyes turned toward the moon again. In truth, in front of Lupin, I couldn't help but feel like a sinner.
Sir Reynold sacrificed himself for me and the group.
It might not be entirely my fault, but it was clear that my existence had drawn the attention of 'Greed.' That point weighed heavily on my heart, which was why I ended up having this late-night drinking session.
The last words he left behind still rippled through my heart.
"U-Uncle... Do you think Uncle regretted it?"
Lupin asked in a voice slightly cleared of moisture. I handed him a handkerchief instead of an answer.
With a loud honk, Lupin blew his nose. I inwardly decided that I should throw that handkerchief away.
If the person in front of me had been Senior Elsie, I would have washed it and used it again.
"Do you think he was scared? It... it must have hurt a lot... for his heart to burst..."
"He went peacefully."
Probably, I thought, forcing back the words that were rising.
Is there any human who isn't afraid of death?
I was also someone who had crossed the line between life and death several times. I already knew how terrifying the instinct to not want to die was.
But Sir Reynold chose death himself.
To change his fate, which originally should have been a defeat at the hands of the Dark Cult.
"He left behind a memento and last words. So you don't have to be too sad..."
"Wh-what... hic... did he say?"
My speech was momentarily blocked.
I didn't know why. I was afraid to say something.
But the person before me was a member of the Lainella family.
He had the right to hear Sir Reynold's last words. So, I hesitantly opened my mouth.
"Don't run away..."
I stopped there, filled my glass to the brim, and emptied it.
However, Lupin's gaze was still fixed on me, as if waiting to hear the rest of the last words.
Blankly, I retraced the memories of that day.
"...And don't be a coward."
"That's a relief."
That was Lupin's impression as he wiped away his tears with a sniffle.
My hollow gaze turned toward him.
"Those were the last words he left for you, weren't they? I... I can't keep a promise like that."
"Do you think I'm omnipotent?"
I spoke while swallowing a hollow laugh, but I meant it.
I was not omnipotent. The achievements I had accomplished were merely a staircase built upon someone else's sacrifice.
Even now, look.
My body was a wreck, making it difficult even to move. I wasn't in a position to do anything.
In that case, was I to leave the Saintess as she was?
A question as heavy as a boulder weighed down on my lungs. Panting, I felt my breath grow short.
It was then that Lupin handed me something.
A pitch-black rod.
It was a familiar object. That was why I could understand it even less.
Why was he holding something that Senior Elsie should have?