Chapter 406: Gold and Silver (11)
Chapter 406: Gold and Silver (11)
"Love" was a truly perplexing topic.
Wasn't it that way for everyone? The more one delved into an intangible emotion, the more its boundaries became blurred and ambiguous.
It felt embarrassing to even think about.
For a man years past his coming-of-age ceremony to be questioning the nature of "love."
Yet, no matter how shameful it felt, I couldn't help but ask.
What exactly was "love"?
Could it be that what Emma had just whispered was related to it?
My mind went completely blank.
It was the same feeling I’d had when Senior Elsie confessed to me.
While I stood there dazed, the silence stretched on.
Only the crackling logs in the fireplace gave a sense of passing time to the room.
Emma didn't look away from me for a long while.
She remained silent, her sweet breath hitching slightly.
I suddenly realized how close we were standing.
What would happen if I leaned forward just a little more?
Every time Emma’s soft breath brushed the tip of my nose, my heart fluttered. I wondered if her lips would carry the same scent if I pressed mine against them.
To hesitate.
Like a tightrope walker, my heart lost its balance and swayed. Just as the thought of how precarious this was flashed through my mind, I noticed Emma’s face was still slowly drawing closer.
What would happen next was obvious.
And yet, as if frozen, I couldn't pull away.
My mind was a mess, a jumble of conflicting choices. I couldn't decide whether I should just give in and embrace her or put a stop to this right now.
Several faces flashed through my mind.
Senior Elsie, the Saintess, Senior Delphine, and Seria.
I shouldn't do this.
By the time I finally reached that conclusion, Emma’s face was already inches away.
Even if I wanted to pull back, I couldn't.
The moment I showed even a hint of movement, our lips would touch.
That was how close we were.
Close enough that her soft exhale dampened my skin.
Just as I was bracing myself internally—
"…Pfft."
A clear burst of laughter suddenly rang through the silent bedroom.
The source, of course, was Emma.
She doubled over, clutching her stomach as she erupted into fits of giggles.
She looked so genuinely amused that tears began to well in her eyes.
I was beyond stunned; I was bewildered. I could only knit my brows in confusion.
"Aha, ahahaha! Ian, aren't you being a bit too serious?"
"…Should I have just snorted at you instead?"
I snapped back, feeling a bit slighted for no reason.
But my grumpy tone only seemed to make Emma find the situation even funnier.
Her bright laughter continued for a good while.
I kept my sullen expression until Emma finally wiped the moisture from the corners of her eyes.
Only after she had calmed down did I let out a sigh and ask, "Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah, thanks to you."
Emma beamed, looking as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
To be honest, I didn't feel great—it felt like my expectations had been betrayed—but what could I do?
The moment I saw Emma’s happy smile, my irritation vanished.
I remembered something Emma had said once.
‘Dummy, idiot, pushover. You’re going to get used by a commoner girl like me.’
She had said that on the day I saved her by offering up a named demonic beast, back when I told her I didn't want anything in return.
I had laughed it off back then. I thought it was nonsense.
But looking back now, she wasn't entirely wrong.
It was hard to shake the feeling that her empty warning was slowly becoming a reality.
No matter how I looked at it, I was exceptionally soft on Emma.
Of course, as long as she was happy, I suppose it didn't matter.
In the end, I forced a bitter smile.
"Still, isn't that a bit much? Toying with my sincere feelings with a lie."
"Huh?"
Emma blinked her innocent eyes as if she had no idea what I was talking about.
I could only let out another sigh.
"Emma, no matter how close we are, a confession should be sincere—"
"I wasn't lying, though."
Just as I was about to tell her to stop joking, I locked eyes with her.
And I knew.
Emma was being completely serious.
My brow furrowed again.
"I really do like you."
"But just a moment ago…"
"Yeah, I told you not to get so serious."
Her tone was more solemn than ever.
Instinctively, I squeezed my eyes shut. I felt like I had to.
Anyone would have done the same if they faced that sorrowful smile.
"I’ve known for a while, but it’s only just sunk in. You and I don't belong together."
I deliberately kept my expression neutral.
I simply stared at Emma.
Perhaps she took that as a sign to continue.
Emma gave a faint smile and added, "I mean, it’s true, isn't it? You’re a noble, and now you’re the Divinity of the Empire, trusted by His Majesty the Emperor himself. But I’m no help at all. I’m just a commoner, and I’m poor, so I can't do anything for you."
"Emma, you’ve already saved my life several times."
"Thank you, Ian. For saying that… but that’s something anyone could have done, not just me."
I let out a heavy breath.
I didn't know how many times we’d had this conversation, and it was starting to get frustrating.
Unaware of my feelings, Emma continued her self-deprecation.
"Mm-hmm, anyone but me… If you threw 10,000 gold at any commoner girl in the Alchemy Department, wouldn't they have done the same?"
"Emma."
"But it’s okay, I know my place. If I work hard from now on, do you think I could at least be your concubine? Ahaha… I’ll have to try my best…"
I finally decided I couldn't take it anymore.
I understood how Emma felt.
Inferiority was like a monster that gnawed at the heart. It was nearly impossible to face it alone.
I had been there too.
Because I was a lower noble, because I wasn't talented enough.
By some stroke of luck, I had become stronger since then.
But I still didn't know if this role truly suited me.
A hero who saves the world.
I felt like a protagonist in some outdated fairy tale.
Perhaps that was why I was even more careful with Emma.
Her self-loathing mirrored my own.
Because it’s scary and painful, you constantly tear yourself down, but at the same time, you desperately want someone to tell you that you’re wrong.
It just so happened that I was that person for her.
"Stop your whining."
At my sigh-laden words, Emma’s eyes went wide.
Then she quickly looked down.
With a pitiful gaze, as if she had expected me to say that.
"Y-yeah, right? Sorry, I just… Mmph?!"
I lunged forward, covering the murmuring woman’s lips with mine.
It was an ambiguous sensation.
The kiss I’d shared with Senior Delphine had been far more passionate. Compared to the pleasure of entwining tongues, it was hard to find much meaning in the mere contact of mucous membranes.
That made it all the more strange.
Emma’s lips tasted exactly as I had imagined.
They were soft and moist, and I could feel her sweet breath.
Emma seemed more shocked than ever before.
Her wide eyes were filled with pure astonishment. She looked ready to pull away at any second, like a sinner who had violated a taboo.
Of course, it was a feeble resistance.
With just a slight tilt of her chin in my hand, all of Emma’s resistance crumbled.
A few seconds passed.
When our lips finally parted, we both took a much-needed breath.
Emma, letting out a cute little gasp, had a face that had long since turned beet red.
I looked at her as she hovered there, hesitantly searching my eyes, and asked, "Are you going to stop now?"
I didn't even need to specify what I was talking about.
She could have asked "Stop what?", but Emma didn't question me.
She simply turned her head slightly to avoid my gaze.
And when she finally spoke, there was a faint hint of moisture in her voice.
"I-Ian…"
She looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.
I quietly waited for her to continue.
"I… I think I’d really be okay with being just a concubine."
Because she was already so happy.
Hearing that confession, I suppressed a bitter smile.
Only one question struck my mind.
Wait, is this really okay?
It wasn't until the next day that I came to my senses.
"…Am I insane?"
I hadn't realized it the night before because I’d been caught up in the moment, but thinking back, I had basically caused a massive disaster.
Just how many women was I involved with now?
Senior Elsie, the Saintess, Senior Delphine, and Seria.
It was already at an unmanageable level, and yet I had kissed Emma yesterday.
It was a capital offense, one I wouldn't be surprised to be torn apart for.
The only silver lining was that the problem I’d entrusted to the Princess had been resolved well.
It was thanks to that that I was able to face Senior Delphine today.
As usual, in the dead of night, Senior Delphine wore a faint, amused smile.
"This is interesting. So, in the end, you’re saying the Yurdina family should take responsibility for the process of making the Elves subjects of the Empire?"
"It’s not a bad deal for the Yurdina family either," I added quickly, worried that she might be offended.
In truth, Senior Delphine was far more intelligent than I was. Hadn't she been receiving successor training since she was a child?
Nevertheless, the reason I bothered to add an explanation was probably because I wanted to show off to her.
To make it clear how much trouble I’d gone through.
Men were such petty creatures in front of women.
I finally began to lay out the strategy I had heard from Reto.