Chapter 350: Bread and Dagger (48)
Chapter 350: Bread and Dagger (48)
My body was slowly drifting upward.
It was a ridiculous contradiction.
My floating physical form had no sensation. Sight, hearing, and touch had long since been severed. Smell and taste were no different.
By all rights, I shouldn't have been able to perceive anything.
And yet, why was I feeling this sensation of buoyancy?
The process of realizing this was natural. Like a child taking its first steps, I became aware of the fact that my body was ascending.
It was a sudden recognition.
The fuse of thought was lit. A burning line of inquiry awakened my mind in stages. The more it did, the deeper I sank into this strange sensation.
My body felt incredibly light.
I had fought a decisive battle against the Snow Leopard Fiend. I had been injured in the process, and while the wounds weren't fatal, I certainly shouldn't have felt this energized.
Only then did my vision flash bright.
No, could I even describe it as brightening?
It was a space where only darkness existed. Even though there was no light source, my vision was clear and vivid. It meant that physical laws did not apply here.
It was a landscape I had seen once before.
Scenes transmitted from cracks etched everywhere, and a chair positioned in the center. And a man, sitting with his back turned in silence.
As I bolted upright, the man’s indifferent eyes turned toward me.
It was an incredibly weary gaze.
Aside from that, he was a person with features identical to mine. To the point where it felt like looking into a mirror.
Of course, it couldn't be any other way.
Because that man was 'me.'
He had simply come from the distant future to find me, carrying some sort of mission.
The man spoke in his usual emotionless voice.
"A pathetic sight."
It was blatant mockery.
Yet, because his tone was so flat, I couldn't even bring myself to get angry.
I let out a sigh and slumped down where I stood.
"What happened?"
"The information I can access from here is limited. At most, I only know that you did something to lose consciousness."
With those words, the chair the man was sitting on spun around.
It didn't have wheels, yet the turn was incredibly smooth. I realized once again that this was a space where the laws of reality did not hold sway.
Was I dead?
In the final moment, the Snow Leopard Fiend had told me he wanted to return to the embrace of his kin.
I didn't know what the outcome of that wish being granted would be.
I hoped I had at least avoided death, but seeing as I had opened my eyes here, it was certain that I had at least lost consciousness.
The man seemed to read my worried expression.
After watching me in silence, he let out a low voice.
"…You aren't dead."
My eyes turned toward him. He still looked composed, but he was slightly avoiding my gaze.
As if he found the situation of having to reassure me annoying.
"If you were, I wouldn't exist… and if you had completely lost your mind, you wouldn't be able to see me. This place is the boundary between consciousness and the unconscious."
"The boundary between consciousness and the unconscious?"
"Yes. To be precise, it is the boundary of all things. Past and future, my world and yours, consciousness and the unconscious…"
It sounded like a rather complicated story.
However, I instinctively felt my body starting to fade. It meant the time I could stay here was running out.
Perhaps it was because my injuries weren't that severe.
I had no intention of letting this rare opportunity slip away.
"The elves—the elves were following an evil cult! There was a traitor in the Yurdina family!"
I had to scrape together as much information as possible.
This man would already know the answers.
"What on earth is happening in the North? What is the Dark Cult planning now…!"
"I can't tell you."
But my request was flatly rejected.
The man rested his chin on his hand with a bored expression.
"I told you, I can't help you anymore… I have to be careful for a while as it is, and you suddenly show up demanding information?"
He wasn't wrong.
But I knew.
Even if he didn't deliver the information directly, conveying it through metaphors or analogies would significantly reduce the consumption of that 'power.'
So, I spoke once more.
"Countless people have already died! The Yurdina army, the elves… and I've killed people too. But I still don't even have a clue…."
"Novice."
That single word was tossed out casually.
But the weight contained within it was not light. The man’s gaze looking down at me had turned solemn.
"I am not your nanny… I can't help you and look after you every single time. You have already chosen a different path from mine. Therefore, you have no choice but to shoulder the responsibility yourself."
Tap. The man’s free hand drummed against the armrest of the chair.
'Responsibility.'
I felt the weight of that word choking the breath out of me.
"Do you know why I can't help you? During the last incident, you forced me out and even peeked into my memories at random. This is the result."
Every word he spat out was plain, yet every single one of them pierced my heart.
In the end, I couldn't argue and had to bite my lip.
"It's the same for the elves you killed, novice… Does it hurt?"
Does it hurt?
I felt unpleasant and sad. But it was ambiguous whether I should call that 'pain,' so just as I was about to shake my head—
The man gestured with his eyes.
As soon as I looked where he was pointing, I had no choice but to fall silent again.
"It must hurt."
My hands were already drenched in blood.
It was a wonder I hadn't noticed until now.
"That is exactly what responsibility is. The guilt you must carry for the rest of your life… You're pretending to be fine because your synchronization rate has increased, but you're still just a novice. One who doesn't even know how to take responsibility."
At that, a fire surged up, hitting the back of my throat.
'Responsibility'?
How could he talk to me about responsibility?
I was just a low-to-mid rank student who was satisfied with his lot in life. After graduation, I would have become a vassal or joined the Central Army.
Then one day, a letter flew into my life uninvited.
My life changed completely from that day on.
There were many times my bones were crushed and I coughed up blood.
I had borrowed help from the future, but I was the one who had to endure that searing pain.
There were times I couldn't even breathe from the fear of death and the pressure that the world might end if I failed.
I did my best.
In the short span of less than a year, I threw my entire being into this and didn't crumble. So why was I still just a 'novice'?
Unable to hold back any longer, heat poured from my mouth.
"Then what more do you want me to do?!"
The man’s heavy gaze landed on me. Meeting those golden eyes, I spat out my long-held emotions.
"I did my best in my own way! I've been hurting all this time… but I have to hurt and suffer even more than this? How, exactly?"
"You have to see the bottom."
But as always, the man’s answer was clear.
To a hollow degree.
"It hurts? It's hard? You took responsibility? No, you didn't… You've just been choosing the less painful options until now. You were afraid that people around you would get hurt because of you, and that the world would be destroyed, weren't you?"
"Does that make my pain any less?"
"No, I'm telling you to go and see the bottom."
With those words as a signal, the man slowly stood up.
It was the first time he had stood tall since I arrived in this space.
Then, slightly bending his knees to meet my eyes, the man spoke.
"Unlike you, there are plenty of lives that didn't even have a choice. Because they weren't as strong or as lucky as you! Go and see that… If you don't, you won't be able to win against Delphirem."
Just as I was about to ask what that meant—
Thump. My body crashed through the floor.
The shattered bottom scattered into fragments. As I fell endlessly, I only saw the golden eyes looking down at me.
Falling, and falling.
I didn't even have time to scream. My physical freedom had already been stripped away.
It was a few seconds later when I regained control of my body.
"…Gasp!"
I struggled, gasping for air.
Only now did it feel like I was properly conscious. My five senses returned, and dry, cold air filled my lungs.
It was a shabby dwelling.
It looked like a warehouse, with patches here and there. It meant it had been used for a very long time.
Or it had been built poorly from the start.
Fortunately, a primitive hearth made of stone and clay was located in the center. If not for that, I might have frozen to death in the Northern cold.
Swallowing a groan, I looked around a bit more.
No matter how I looked at it, I wasn't being treated well.
The fact that I was tied up tightly and left in a dilapidated warehouse said as much. Normally, they would have let me rest in a warm house.
But my current situation was, well.
The word 'imprisoned' was more fitting.
I was glad to be alive, but I couldn't stop the feeling of helplessness.
A long sigh escaped my lips.
I wondered what kind of incident was waiting for me next.
The only silver lining was that I wasn't alone. Beside me lay Avian, in the same state as I was.
Judging by her rhythmic breathing, she hadn't regained consciousness yet.
Her face was slightly flushed. Come to think of it, unlike me, Avian had a frail body. Being left in this cold, it was no wonder she was coming down with a fever.
I decided to wake Avian up.
I scooted closer to her. Then I whispered in the girl's ear.
"Avian, Avian! Wake up!"
But no matter how many times I called, Avian only groaned and couldn't wake up.
I contemplated for a moment whether I should just break my restraints.
They seemed to have put some effort into tying me up, but I was an Expert. I could break these ropes whenever I wanted.
It also felt like my body had recovered somewhat while I was unconscious.
However, the reason I hesitated was that it was easier to avoid suspicion if I didn't break the restraints.
I could even aim for a surprise attack if necessary.
Just as I was deep in thought—
"Ah, ugh… Be, Betty…."
Avian suddenly let out a sorrowful voice.
It sounded like someone's name.
I figured it was probably the younger sister who was her only family.
Even if our races were different, I could understand that feeling.
The way she had immediately lost her mind and charged in upon hearing that her sister might be in danger.
She reminded me exactly of someone from my childhood.
As a bitter smile touched my lips, Avian finally twitched and opened her eyes.
Her wide-open eyes spoke volumes about her state of mind.
Bolting upright, she asked me while trembling.
"W-w-what happened…! What just happened…."
"I don't know either."
It was a blunt confession.
At that, Avian froze and looked around.
It was then that she began to show a strange reaction.
At first, Avian moved her head left and right with a flustered look, but before long, doubt began to cloud her eyes.
Then, narrowing her eyes, she even carefully examined the hearth in the center.
I had no choice but to ask in a bewildered voice.
"What are you doing?"
"Th-this place…."
Then, Avian stammered out a shocking fact.
"It's an elf village?"
An elf village.
The place that was said to be hidden deep within the coniferous forest?
Looking at Avian's complexion, which was starting to regain its color, I could only let out a hollow laugh.
I was right in the middle of enemy territory.
And the one who had fallen with me was an elf I had forcibly subdued through violence and threats.
"Goddammit."
As always, a path of thorns lay before me.