Chapter 310: Bread and Dagger (8)
Chapter 310: Bread and Dagger (8)
It was a long time before I finally managed to calm Emma down.
Despite several minutes of comfort and persuasion, her face remained bright red. I could almost see an illusion of steam rising from her bowed head.
That was how deep her shame ran.
She had merely been nibbling on some dried mushrooms. In truth, it wasn't a scene that warranted such embarrassment.
Yes, that’s what I should have said.
Yet, I couldn't bring myself to offer that particular bit of comfort; I hesitated.
It was because the image kept replaying in my mind.
The sight of her, eyes brimming with tears, munching on those dried mushrooms.
Her face had looked like a work of art, capturing a total, heartfelt gratitude for life itself.
From her crouched posture, meant to minimize energy consumption, to the sorrowful effort of letting the dried mushrooms melt in her saliva—it was the kind of sincerity only shown by someone who hadn't eaten in a very long time.
Of course, hunger and poverty were not sins.
They were merely the unavoidable conditions of life.
Life often functions on such irrational foundations. I had no intention of criticizing her or making her feel ashamed for it.
If anyone felt the urge to do so, they were likely someone with nothing else to be proud of.
But that was just my personal opinion.
Emma already harbored an inferiority complex regarding her commoner roots.
Though she spoke informally to me as if we were equals, her self-loathing often peeked through her social interactions. It was even worse now, given the debt of gratitude she felt toward me.
And in the midst of that, I had caught her unable to even afford a proper meal.
It wasn't strange for her to feel humiliated.
Moreover, I didn't want to see her like that either.
It wasn't because I was disappointed or embarrassed.
It was simply because it broke my heart.
It was agonizing to realize how much she was suffering, and that I was one of the reasons for it.
That was why I couldn't pretend everything was fine.
Because I was likely the primary cause of her current state.
However, Emma seemed to misinterpret the expression on my face.
In a voice still thick with unshed tears, she apologized.
"I-I'm sorry... I must look pathetic..."
"No, you don't!"
I immediately denied her words.
I couldn't leave it like this. If I did, Emma’s mood might spiral into a bottomless pit of self-deprecation.
Driven by that sense of urgency, I found myself speaking with rare fluency.
"Why would you be pathetic? If anything, I liked seeing this honest side of you... It was, well, actually kind of cute..."
"...Cute?"
At my haphazardly tossed-out words, her watery emerald eyes turned toward me.
She didn't look sad or pained anymore.
Desperate not to miss this opportunity, I nodded fervently.
"Of course! You were definitely cute. You're usually so meticulous, but you're such a klutz at times like this."
After fidgeting restlessly for a moment, I finally let out a deep sigh.
Fortunately, Emma seemed to have cheered up a little.
I decided it was time for a more heartfelt conversation.
I reached out and took her slender hand in mine.
Emma flinched with a small gasp, but she didn't pull away.
A faint blush crept onto her cheeks.
"...But Emma, I don't want you to struggle. I want you to eat regular meals and stop overworking yourself. Every time your complexion turns pale, my heart aches."
Emma stared at me blankly, saying nothing.
She didn't seem to have any desire to argue with me.
That was a positive sign.
I only hoped this would lead to some improvement in her daily life. Emma was so naturally self-sacrificing that she needed someone to pull the brakes for her.
Just like moments ago.
Emma had mentioned visiting the Alchemy Guild recently. I’d heard she’d finally reached her limit and sold off some potions, so she should have had plenty of funds for a while.
If she was back to chewing on dried mushrooms, there was only one explanation.
She had squandered it all on ingredients.
Unable to wait, all for the sake of her research.
At this rate, no matter how much money I gave her, there would be a limit.
Even if the quality of her meals improved, she’d probably just cut back on sleep instead.
I couldn't let that happen.
"Just as you treasure me, you are incredibly precious to me as well... So please, don't push yourself too hard. Whatever you find difficult or lacking, I'll fill the gap from now on..."
"...S-Stop it."
But I couldn't finish my sentence.
With her face turning beet-red, Emma looked away and cut me off.
I thought the reaction was going well.
I could only shut my mouth, feeling utterly bewildered.
"Don't... don't keep doing that. Holding my hand and looking at me so seriously... If you do that, I'll start to misunderstand."
"...Misunderstand what?"
When I tilted my head and asked, Emma cleared her throat with a cough.
Of course, she still couldn't meet my eyes.
"I'll... I'll think you're being sincere..."
"But I am being sincere."
"Agh, seriously!"
Emma finally couldn't take it anymore and raised her voice.
Her beautiful, tearful face turned toward me.
"...This is why I can't quit."
It was a sharp, pouting complaint.
I had no choice but to wait in silence for her next words. Since I didn't even know what she was talking about, it was the only logical step.
After a moment, Emma let out a long sigh.
It was a sigh of reflection.
"I... I didn't plan on spending all the money from the start... But I kept worrying about you, and then the alchemy ingredients caught my eye..."
Every word she mumbled was warm.
That was Emma's true nature.
A woman like a sun-warmed pebble—warm, considerate, and full of kindness.
Just being near her made me feel myself softening.
I couldn't help but let out a bitter smile.
My firm resolve to give her a stern talking-to had vanished long ago.
How could I ever be harsh with such a gentle woman?
Emma looked dejected and stole a glance at me.
"...Sorry for making you worry for nothing."
"No, Emma. Thank you... for thinking of me so much."
After that, we spent some time catching up on each other's lives.
Of course, I had to heavily abridge the story of my confrontation with the Agent of the Evil God. I was afraid of how Emma would react if she found out I had nearly died.
She might stay up all night insisting she needed to make even more powerful potions.
Or she might just faint on the spot, or do nothing but cry while she was awake.
Emma was fragile.
I had to protect her.
My judgment seemed correct, as the conversation proceeded in a fairly smooth atmosphere. At certain points in the story, Emma even gasped in surprise.
However, there were some things that couldn't be smoothed over or erased.
For me, that was my parting with Ned.
I tried to speak as calmly as possible, but I couldn't escape Emma's worried gaze.
She asked me softly.
"...Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am now."
Probably, I swallowed the following word.
I didn't want to cause Emma unnecessary worry.
But it was a futile effort; as always, Emma was quick on the uptake.
Yes, just like she always was.
Emma watched my expression in silence for a moment, then hesitantly pulled me into an embrace.
For a split second, I thought about resisting.
Yet, before long, I found myself burying my face in Emma's chest as if possessed. Her sweet scent tickled my nose.
Her embrace was soft and supple.
I decided to simply enjoy the sensation without thinking for now.
"You've been through so much, Ian..."
Visions of my hometown flickered past.
Amidst the burning, collapsed ruins, the villagers were weeping as they buried the bodies they hadn't been able to tend to yet. Gravestones stood thick like saplings.
It was painful and agonizing.
Loss carves a heavy ache into the heart. You think you can forget, but then the sounds of that day's weeping resurface out of nowhere, choking the breath out of you.
Ned's younger sister, May, had asked me.
"...Young Master, where did my brother go?"
It wasn't a question that should have been asked of me, wrapped head-to-toe in bandages.
But she was just a child, at an age where she might not even fully understand death.
I didn't know what to say.
I simply, truly didn't know.
The best I could do was place my hand on May's head.
A squeezed-out excuse followed.
"He went to keep a promise."
"...Why?"
As if unable to understand, May asked with eyes full of tears.
"Why did he have to go keep a promise? Even leaving me behind?"
"Because..."
Because he had to protect you.
Because that was Ned's only oath.
Burying all those words in my heart, I answered May.
"...Because a great knight doesn't tell lies."
Hoping that Ned would remain a great knight in May's memory.
Now, even when I retraced all those memories, tears didn't fall.
Instead, I soothed my aching heart with Emma's scent and touch. As if doing so could overwrite all the painful memories.
Emma held me tight until I was ready to let go.
How much time had passed?
Only then, having calmed my heart, did I slowly lift my head from Emma's embrace. I let out a dry cough, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment.
Even so, Emma just looked at me silently with a gentle smile.
She didn't say a word, but her feelings reached me nonetheless.
I felt a great sense of strength from that alone.
After another long while, Emma forced a bright tone into her voice to change the somber mood.
"Oh, right, Ian. Do you want to see the ingredients I bought? I found some rare materials in the city this time!"
It was obvious they would be things I wouldn't recognize even if I saw them.
But I was grateful for Emma's heart, which was always looking out for me, so I stood up with a faint smile.
"You mean the ingredients you traded your meals for?"
"T-That's right! Yeah... but I have no regrets!"
With a determined expression, Emma pulled out a sack she had placed on a shelf.
Inside were plenty of white mossy plants that emitted a faint glow.
It was something I had never seen before in my life.
Seeing my curious look, Emma immediately began her explanation.
She stood with her shoulders squared and a fist over her heart—a pose so cute it made my smile deepen.
"This is a moss that only grows in the coniferous forests at the northernmost tip of the North! It grows by absorbing the mana of the permafrost, so it's very difficult to obtain... As you know, the curse of one of the Seven Deadly Sins lingers at the northernmost part of the continent."
The North and the Seven Deadly Sins.
As I listened to Emma, those two terms caught my ear.
Come to think of it, I remembered hearing about it in a mythology lecture.
The reason the North was shrouded in eternal winter.
Before I could follow that train of thought, Emma continued, unable to hide her pride.
"It's such a cold place that it's hard to even enter, let alone harvest anything, but to get this much... Isn't it amazing?! So, this is 'Frosty Glare'... Huh?"
That was when I sensed something was wrong.
Emma's excited tone dropped abruptly. I could only watch her face, wondering what was happening.
Emma stared blankly at the handful of 'Frosty Glare' in her hand.
"Th-This isn't Frosty Glare...?"
"...What? Is it all fake?"
Emma slowly shook her head, then began to inspect the moss in the sack one by one. The conclusion she reached, with a tearful face, was as follows:
"About a tenth of it is fake. That's strange...? This merchant has never done anything like this before. Why all of a sudden...?"
A tenth.
It was a very ambiguous ratio.
Was it a deliberate attempt to scam her, or the result of trying to deceive even an expert like Emma by relying on established trust?
I secretly toyed with the hand axe at my waist.
"...You bought that with your food money."
At my remark, Emma let out a pained groan.
She began to break into a cold sweat, stealing glances at me.
It seemed Emma also firmly believed the bad rumors about me.
I was merely a pacifist at heart, but looking at Emma's eyes, she seemed to be treating me like a time bomb that could go off at any moment.
She tried her best to give me a bright smile.
"I-It's okay! Mushrooms are delicious! Especially lately, White Stump Mushrooms have been appearing often in the forest, and there are so many ways to cook them! Parboiled mushrooms, grilled mushrooms, stir-fried mushrooms, mushroom juice, dried mushrooms with calamansi..."
Mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms.
No matter how long I waited, the only food that came out of Emma's mouth was mushrooms. Even though she counted over ten different dishes on her fingers, they were all the same.
Finally, unable to take it anymore, I let out a deep sigh.
And then, just one question.
"...Where does that guy live?"
I asked only the most necessary question.
Emma hesitated and avoided my gaze, but I let out a silent, dry laugh.
The 'North' and 'moss.'
Isn't that a strange coincidence?
It seemed my reunion with Emma would have to be finished another time.