Chapter 222: Lainella's Fate is Decided by Lainella (15)
Chapter 222: Lainella's Fate is Decided by Lainella (15)
"……Emma!"
A frantic cry escaped my lips as I jolted in shock.
It would have been alarming enough to find any friend suddenly collapsed on the floor. But Emma was someone far more special to me than that.
Since the letters from the future started arriving, she was the first person I had almost lost.
I had sworn to protect her, and I intended to keep that promise forever. Seeing her lying there again, her face drained of all color, caused my thought process to grind to a halt.
A sinister nightmare flashed through my mind.
The image of Emma lying pale and silent, unable to utter a word, after her entrails had been spilled.
I rushed over to her and checked her condition. Fortunately, though her breathing was faint, it was steady. She didn't seem to be in immediate mortal danger.
Even so, unable to completely shake the anxiety, I hurriedly scanned the room.
I was looking to see if any of the potions Emma had made might be useful.
However, Emma’s workshop, which I hadn't visited in a while, felt utterly foreign.
Where I used to recognize at least a few familiar potions, the shelves were now filled with concoctions I had never seen before.
It was a volume of work that would have required at least a week of pulling all-nighters to produce.
Was there a reason Emma had to make so many potions?
I fell silent, unable to find an answer. Unfortunately, even a moment of contemplation was a luxury I couldn't afford right now.
I gathered Emma into my arms and stood up.
I intended to call for help or head straight to the temple. If she had collapsed, it meant her body was at its limit, at the very least.
Even if her life wasn't in immediate danger, a professional opinion was essential.
As I stood upright while cradling her, a faint groan finally escaped Emma’s lips.
"Ugh... I... Ian... hnnngh..."
Even the words she muttered unconsciously were my name.
I didn't know what mindset she had while brewing these potions, but it was clear they were connected to me.
My heart ached even more.
I spoke to her urgently, hoping she would regain consciousness.
"Emma, Emma! Can you hear me?!"
"I... I'm... uuuugh..."
Emma’s trembling eyelids fluttered open.
Those light green eyes looked up at me. Squinting slightly at the pouring light, she slowly regained her vision and stared at me, dazed.
Emma gazed at me without saying a word.
She didn't seem to realize what had happened yet. Her eyes darted back and forth between her own body and my face in confusion, and then she asked in a hollow voice.
"……Is this a dream?"
"No, Emma. This is reality."
While I let out a sigh of relief that she had regained consciousness, I spoke firmly, fearing she might slip away again.
"And you were unconscious until just a moment ago... What on earth have you been doing?"
Having just experienced a heart-stopping scare, words of reproach finally spilled out.
As soon as I said it, I felt a bit guilty.
Truly, what fault did Emma have? If there was any sin, it belonged to the person who provided the reason for her to push herself so hard.
In all likelihood, it was my fault.
I cut my sigh short and cast my gaze downward. I felt too ashamed to look her in the eye.
Regardless of my feelings, Emma’s face was growing redder by the second.
"S-so... you're saying this isn't a dream?"
"Yes, it's reality."
Even so, Emma muttered in a voice full of disbelief.
"I-I'm being held in Ian's arms?"
"……What about it?"
Was she uncomfortable?
Then again, Emma was a young woman in the prime of her youth. Naturally, she would be sensitive about a man touching her.
Even if it was an emergency.
If I explained the situation, she wouldn't blame me, but it was understandable for her to be flustered right after waking up.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit dejected, Emma covered her burning face with both hands and spoke in a voice saturated with happiness.
"I could die happy right now……."
No, you definitely shouldn't die.
I was internally baffled by her comment about throwing away the life I had just worked so hard to save, but in the end, I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
If Emma was that happy, then I was happy too.
Only after we had basked in each other's warmth for a long while did Emma finally step down onto the floor with a timid gesture.
Her face remained bright red.
With even her earlobes flushed, she stammered out a greeting.
"……I-it's been a while, Ian."
"Yeah, Emma. What's been going on? You didn't even show your face when I was discharged."
Only after seeing Emma standing on her own two feet could I finally breathe a sigh of relief.
As I asked in a voice still laced with concern, Emma hesitated before slowly opening her mouth.
"……I heard the news that you collapsed from a potion overdose."
I started to say something in response but closed my mouth again.
I felt a heavy weight in my chest, as if a boulder were lodged in my mind.
I felt like I should offer words of comfort, like I should persuade her, but I wasn't particularly eloquent.
I could only guess at what was in Emma’s heart.
The words I finally managed to squeeze out were brief.
"……It's not your fault."
"No, it's not. Rather, I realized something. I realized how selfish I've been until now."
She had saved up her living expenses to make potions and help me.
There wasn't a single thing in Emma’s devotion that could be criticized as selfish.
And yet, Emma was saying this.
That she had been acting selfishly all this time.
Unable to understand, I called her name first.
"Emma……."
"I just wanted to be good to you, no matter what."
Emma confessed her true feelings, looking completely dejected.
"Since making potions is the only thing I know how to do... I can't fight by your side, so I thought I wanted to be helpful in at least that way. I thought it would be enough if I just gave you plenty of potions."
Emma had done many other things for me as well.
She had made food for me when I was sick, and she had visited the infirmary for days, saying she would try to persuade Lady Ruphesia.
But it seemed Emma felt all of that was insufficient.
"But actually, that wasn't it. The thing I thought I was doing for your sake was actually ruining you. A potion overdose... Why didn't I consider that?"
"It's not your fault."
I declared again in a firm tone.
"It was my choice. It wasn't a decision I made without knowing the consequences, and as a result, I wouldn't have been able to secure the victory if I hadn't done it."
"……Ian."
Hesitating, Emma called my name. The look in her eyes as she watched me was sorrowful.
"You're an amazing person. There's no one in the Academy who doesn't know you now, and soon the whole continent will hear of your exploits. But compared to that, I'm just... a commoner girl. All I do is collapse and owe you a 10,000 Gold debt of grace, or get help from you when I'm being bullied……."
"You're not just some commoner girl. You're 'Emma'."
That sincerity was the only thing I could offer her.
Perhaps it was unexpected, as Emma’s eyes widened.
"You're precious and special because you're you. Being a commoner, only receiving help... please don't say things like that. And I told you to forget about the 10,000 Gold."
"……How can I?"
Emma, who had been listening intently to my words in the silence, gave a sad smile as she spoke.
"I'm a troublesome woman, so I never forget things like that. And if things keep going like this, I'll lose the right to even stand by your side……."
Emma’s eyes turned toward a kettle that was bubbling away.
It was impossible to tell how long it had been boiling. In potion making, the effects could vary wildly based on the slightest differences.
It would have to be thrown away.
Emma scanned the display case filled with new potions with a lingering gaze.
"So, I've been gritting my teeth and continuing my research. B-but don't misunderstand, okay? It's not that I didn't want to see you. It's just... I felt like if I forced myself to endure those feelings, the time when I could face you with confidence would come sooner."
"……Don't endure it from now on."
I gently took Emma’s slender hand.
It was a bit cold, likely because her circulation was poor.
A sigh escaped my lips.
"I was worried."
Emma let out a soft, "Hehe," laugh.
But that laughter was still a bit pitiful, and I couldn't shake the feeling that Emma would continue to overwork herself.
I let out a deep sigh.
It seemed that Emma’s thirst wouldn't be quenched by conventional means. The thought that she owed me was the problem.
In the end, I decided to change the subject first.
"……So, was the hard work worth it? You know, working until you fainted?"
"To some extent?"
With a voice that had regained a bit of confidence, Emma proudly showed me the potions filling the display case.
"Potions are fundamentally toxic. Not just potions, but all medicine is like that. Medicine is just poison used differently. So at first, I tried to reduce the toxicity, but that was an attempt with clear limits."
I didn't know anything about pharmacology anyway.
So I just nodded along as Emma continued her explanation. Emma chuckled, as if she found my reaction cute.
It was the first pleasant smile I had seen today.
"In that case, why not leave the toxicity as it is and combine the effects? Since you, Ian, tend to take multiple potions every time you fight anyway."
Emma seemed to have been agonizing over that problem for the past few days.
How could she be a little more helpful to me?
The results of that contemplation were likely those potions.
It must have been a huge challenge for Emma as well. Mixing two effects into a single potion was not as simple as it sounded.
There must have been countless failures.
Come to think of it, 'combat,' huh?
A thought suddenly crossed my mind, so I asked Emma.
"Is it possible to strengthen the medicinal effect along with the toxicity?"
"……Well, it's not impossible."
Emma seemed to fall into thought for a moment, tapping her chin with her index finger, before shaking her head.
"But it's too dangerous. If the toxicity of a potion exceeds a certain level, it'll be more like a poison than a medicine. It's not that people don't do it because they can't; they don't do it because they shouldn't."
"Then what if you just make a poison?"
Emma’s voice came to an abrupt halt.
She looked at me with a bewildered expression. Thinking this was an opportunity to ease Emma’s guilt, I decided to ask her for a favor.
"Emma, could you make me an anesthetic? Something fast-acting, so they lose consciousness almost instantly."
"If I start tonight, it should be possible, but……."
Just as the question of what I was going to use that poison for was about to leave Emma’s mouth...
A loud stomach growl echoed through the workshop.
I was someone who made sure to eat well to maintain my muscles. There was no way I was hungry at this hour, which meant there was only one possible source for that sound.
After a moment of silence, Emma’s face flushed once again.
She hung her head low in shame.
Looking at her again, Emma’s complexion was still pale. She looked like she had grown thinner, and I was worried because she often skipped meals.
I asked gently.
"……Have you not eaten?"
"Y-yes... actually, the ingredient costs were so high."
It seemed even the hundreds of gold I had given her last time weren't enough.
Then again, new research always required an enormous amount of money. Since she had been focused on her research every day, Emma hadn't even thought about going to the forest to find mushrooms.
I sighed and said to Emma.
"Shall we go grab a bite to eat?"
"Y-yes... okay."
In the end, I fed Emma an almost excessive amount of food that day.
Until she started whining that she couldn't eat another bite.
And I gave her a stern warning.
"If you skip meals or overwork yourself again, I might feed you even more next time."
Emma pouted her lips, then said with a slightly embarrassed air.
"……Well, if it's just the two of us... I-I wouldn't mind."
She really was a young lady who didn't know how to take care of herself.
Thinking that I should visit Emma’s workshop regularly, I shook my head.
And then, the next day dawned.
It was finally the day to set out on the journey home.