The Road to Erebor Kingdom
"Ugh..."
"Are you all right, Saintess?"
"Yes, I'm fi— urgh..."
The Saintess stuck her head out the carriage window and retched. It was utterly pathetic.
Tsk tsk. So frail. This is what happens when you spoil a girl rotten.
"Sirmiia? Can I cancel the spell now?"
"No! Absolutely not!"
"Haa... Fine. Until we reach the inn, then?"
"Yes. Thank you, Angelica."
"Heehee... Sirmiia thanked me..."
The mad dragon clutched her chest and collapsed. What was wrong with her? Whatever. It didn't matter. As long as the spell stayed active, her condition was none of my concern. I'd rather she dropped dead, honestly.
We were currently riding a carriage toward Dilbart, the neutral city-state in the west-central region. Why weren't we heading straight to the Erebor Kingdom? Because the Hero's mana was insufficient. Not that he had less than me, of course.
The Hero had boasted confidently, but the teleportation error was worse than expected. Still, transporting four people over a thousand kilometers in one go was monstrous enough to be terrifying in its own right.
Instead of the planned southern gate of the Erebor Kingdom, we had landed in some forest at the western edge. I knew our exact location because we happened to run into a passing merchant caravan. After borrowing their map, it became clear we were nowhere near the kingdom.
Haa... There was no helping it. It wasn't the Hero's fault, and truthfully, getting us this far was already more than enough. A normal journey on horseback would have taken dozens of days; he had covered it in mere seconds. On top of that, meeting the caravan meant we didn't have to walk to the city. He hadn't done anything wrong. If I had to nitpick, it was only that his overconfident teleportation calculation nearly left us stranded in the woods for weeks.
He should only say things he could take responsibility for. Idiot.
Well... even that much is cute enough to forgive.
"Damn Hero."
The Hero's shoulders flinched.
Honestly, I wasn't angry at all. But his reaction was so entertaining that I planned to keep pretending to be mad for a while.
Thud.
"Ow. That hurts like hell..."
The only real inconvenience right now was how unbearably bumpy this damn carriage was. Even this rattling merchant wagon was only available thanks to the caravan's kindness, but after growing accustomed to noble life in the Demon Realm, I struggled to adjust to commoners' transport.
Ack. Another jolt.
Neigh!
This shake felt different. The carriage suddenly stopped.
"What? Why did we stop?"
The Saintess hardened her expression and looked at the Hero.
"Something seems to be happening outside, Ian. We should check."
She stood up as she spoke. I naturally rose from my seat as well.
"No need. I'll go alone. Sirmiia and the Saintess should stay—huh? Sirmiia, please wait a moment. Sirmiia!"
I ignored the Hero's nonsense and jumped out of the carriage, heading toward the front of the caravan to find out why we had stopped.
The front was in chaos. Guards and merchants were clustered together, so I moved closer. As I approached, I heard arguing.
"You won't hand it over?"
"We'll pay the toll. Just name a reasonable amount."
"Didn't I already say it? Hand over everything!"
A man with an ugly face and protruding buck teeth was shouting threats at the caravan leader.
A bandit? Greedy bastard.
If he had just taken a modest toll and let them pass, he might have lived longer. Breaking the unspoken rules like this meant he wouldn't last. Today could very well be his last day.
Judging him to be the leader, I infused my voice with mana and whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
"A greedy little pig."
"What? Who said that?!"
"Pardon? What are you talking about?"
"Don't lie. I heard you bastards insulting me!"
"We said no such thing..."
The merchants all protested their innocence, but the bandit leader refused to believe them and drew his sword, threatening them.
This was clearly my cue to make a dramatic entrance.
I pressed my hood down and strode forward, shouting.
"I said it, you pig bastard."
"What? Who the hell are you?"
The bandit glared at me.
"Traveler, you shouldn't get involved! Our guards can handle this—"
"Stay back."
I pushed the caravan leader aside and walked toward the pig.
"Me? I'm Sirmiia, dumbass. So what does that make you? A pig? You've got so much greed your belly's about to burst."
"What? You filthy bitch!"
The bandit leader drew his sword. The motion was so slow it made me yawn. Hiding my boredom, I beheaded him in an instant before he could finish drawing.
Thud.
His head hit the ground in under three seconds.
"B-Boss!"
Was that really the boss? He was way too weak. Was he just a lackey?
With their leader dead, the vice-leader glared at me with burning eyes. Oh, so bandits did have some loyalty after all—
—No, they didn't. The vice-leader immediately turned and fled. He prioritized his own life over revenge. The rest of the bandits scattered right after him.
As expected, bandits had no honor.
The party came running, calling my name. The Hero reached me first and checked me over.
"Sirmiia! Are you hurt?"
"Sirmiia, you're not injured anywhere, right?"
Only after confirming I had no wounds did they finally sigh in relief.
Guys, I'm plenty strong... Stop treating me like a child.
"Sirmiia, do you know how worried I was? What if the bandits had captured you and done something terrible... Sniff, just thinking about it still hurts my heart..."
The mad dragon had apparently decided to switch to comedy, twisting her body and overacting dramatically.
Why is she like this?
In contrast, the Hero spent the entire walk back to the carriage lecturing me about the dangers of killing.
I've lived fifty years longer than you... But I couldn't say that. I wanted to snap back that I'd already killed plenty of people and to stop nagging, but doing so would only make me look like a criminal, so I kept it to myself.
==================================
"We'll reach the neutral city of Dilbart tomorrow."
"Still that far?"
"...We're moving as fast as possible, but given the carriage's speed... My apologies."
"No, it's really fine. Seriously."
"Seriously? What does that mean?"
"It means 'for real.' You're so old-fashioned."
"My apologies..."
"Pfft. What's with the mindless apologizing? This old man's funny."
His rigid yet clueless personality had a strange charm. How did someone like this even exist?
After teasing him for a while, the caravan leader suddenly bowed his head in gratitude.
"Thank you for earlier. Thanks to you, we passed the bandits without any losses."
"Nah, your guards could've handled it anyway. No need to thank me."
"No. If it had only been our guards, there would surely have been casualties. The fact that it ended safely is entirely thanks to you, traveler."
"Hearing you say that makes me grateful."
"Not at all. Expressing thanks is only natural. In that spirit, please accept this small token of my sincerity."
What he offered was a solid gold necklace that looked expensive at a glance.
"No, you don't have to— I don't need this."
Even as I said that, my hands honestly took the necklace and slipped it into my pocket.
"Haha... You're quite the interesting one."
"I am pretty fun, yeah. Though I wasn't always this much of a weirdo. Just had all sorts of experiences at a young age."
"Experience always changes a person."
"True."
"By the way, do you ever take off that hood? You haven't removed it once all day, even while eating."
His question was reasonable. I'd been wearing the hooded jacket Angelica brought ever since meeting the caravan. Not out of vanity, but to avoid trouble. Before running into them, we'd already encountered four other bandit groups, and their disgusting behavior had been exhausting. Security in the west was pathetic. That was why caravan guards were necessary.
The bandits' pattern was always the same—lewd comments directed at me, the Saintess, and Angelica. Disgusting bastards.
Still, I wasn't worried now. For some reason, the Hero had been furious and turned all the bandits to dust. But since I hated hassle, we'd all agreed to keep our hoods on until we reached Dilbart.
"Hmm... I just don't feel like taking it off."
"Is that so? Well, that's your freedom."
"Right."
==================================
Dinner with the caravan leader hadn't been bad. He knew many stories that piqued my interest. Talking with him, I felt genuine enjoyment for the first time since becoming Sirmiia. Though it would end once we reached Dilbart and parted ways.
After finishing the meal with a touch of regret, I headed to my tent to sleep.
Rustle.
Hm? A sound came from the bushes. But I sensed no other presence nearby besides the tent. Was it just the wind?
Rustle.
No way.
I quietly gathered mana. Had news of the Hero already reached the Demon Realm? Maybe they'd sent an assassin.
Whatever it is, if it comes out, I'll cut it down.
"Puhuhu!"
"You little—"
I swung my sword the moment the assassin leapt out. The mana blade traced a beautiful arc toward their neck—
"Huh?"
I stopped the sword and stared at the sudden appearance of an unknown girl with questioning eyes.
"What are you?"
"Kyaaaaah!"
The girl screamed a beat late after seeing the blade stopped at her neck. That frail cry almost made me lower the sword. She had no fighting spirit or combat ability. But the fact that she had evaded my senses kept bothering me, so I didn't lower it.
"I'll ask again. What are you?"
"P-Please spare me, big sis!"
"Big sis? Why would I be your big sis?"
"Your soul is pretty!"
Was she crazy? Appearing in the middle of the night, calling me big sis out of nowhere, and now saying my soul was pretty. Even a seven-year-old would find this suspicious.
"Wait a second! Please hear me out!"
"Not interested."
Was there any point in listening? It reeked of getting dragged into trouble. The smartest move was to chase her off without questions. Still, killing a child would be too pitiful, so I'd at least let her live.
"Wow. Look at how decisive this big sis is. Total pumpkin."
"No, when did I ever become your big sis? And for your information, I'm not a big sis. Call me big bro."
"Big sis is a guy? That's hilarious. Even a passing dog would laugh."
Haa... Why did she talk like that? Damn it. A crazy girl had appeared in the wild.