Fears of the Distant South
At that moment, Ak I-yeon finished her breathing exercise and opened her eyes. The fullness radiating from her dantian, the vitality coursing through her entire body, sharpened her mind to crystal clarity.
"Oh my."
And there, sitting right in front of me as I opened my eyes, was the messenger pigeon staring intently at me.
"Have you been waiting long?"
Coo-coo-coo!
I reached out tentatively toward the pigeon, and it hopped lightly onto my hand. It spread its wings, preening its feathers with its beak—it must have been waiting quite a while.
Time's flown by already.
I glanced at the sky; the sun had already climbed to midday. Just before I started the exercise, the deep blue predawn sky had only been lightening a bit.
Feeling a pang of guilt, I gently stroked the pigeon's head. For delivering letters so swiftly, for waiting hours without a single cry out of consideration for me in the midst of my meditation.
"This is from Gaga, right?"
Coo!
The pigeon flapped its wings in affirmation, and I couldn't help but smile. As always, Gaga had sent a letter today without fail.
"You don't have to send one when you're busy."
I said the words aloud, but my hands were already unfolding the letter the pigeon had brought. I knew Gaga was swamped, knew he was squeezing out time just to write to me—and that only made me smile wider. A selfish part of me wished he'd keep sending them forever.
It was embarrassing, mortifying even. But even more mortifying was that I couldn't bring myself to reply, "Please don't push yourself." Because if Gaga actually stopped sending letters, it would feel like the sky was collapsing.
Like my greatest joy in life had vanished in an instant.
To my beloved fiancée Ak I-yeon, from Han Un of the Giwang household.
Beloved... I wouldn't see that heart-fluttering phrase anymore from now on.
My heart raced the moment I opened the letter and spotted that line. It was in every letter from Gaga, but it thrilled me every single time.
Gaga's incredible. To grip someone's heart with just a few short words.
Lost in that thought with an even deeper smile, I noticed the pigeon still perched on my hand hop down to the floor.
"Thank you for bringing such a good letter."
Coo-coo-coo~
I tickled under its chest feathers lightly, and it let out a pleased trill, spreading its wings. I'd give it something tasty once I finished reading. It must have flown hard all the way from wherever Gaga was to Kaifeng.
Coo!
As if reading my mind, the pigeon trilled brightly. I turned my eyes back to the letter. Right now, nothing mattered more than this message from Gaga.
Once again, I must greet you through a letter instead of in person. That wretch Jeonghonja is flitting about everywhere, leaving me uneasy.
No, Gaga. Just reading your words makes me happy.
I murmured it unconsciously, knowing it wouldn't reach him. Seeing Gaga blame himself like this unsettled me too.
I'm still in Sichuan. They say the roads to Sichuan are harder than climbing to heaven, and the terrain really is treacherous. A fertile plain nestled among such mountains must be a blessing from the Primordial Heavenly Lord.
That image flashed in my mind—Gaga climbing and descending mountains, drenched in sweat. It was heartbreaking. He was already toiling away across the Central Plains, and now he had to scale Sichuan's rugged peaks too?
Of course, I haven't spared a glance at the mountains. Coming here for work only to go hiking as well would be a bit much.
Ah.
Relief washed over me with a sigh; unlike my worries, Gaga's body was fine. I'd heard he entered Sichuan via the Yangtze too, hitching a ride on a ship from His Highness Gu Gangwang. Unless Gaga actually liked mountains—which he didn't—there was no need for him to climb them.
With a calmer heart, I read on. The work in Sichuan was wrapping up; the food there was uniquely spicy and numbing; the weather was hotter than elsewhere; Kki-ing-i and Kki-ong-i seemed heatstruck and were quieter than usual. Everyday trifles like that.
Kaifeng must be getting a cool breeze by now. With His Highness Ak Wang and Father-in-law there, I'm not too worried, but take care not to catch a cold.
I burst out laughing at Gaga's thoughtfulness—advising a first-rate martial artist to beware of colds. He still pictured me as the frail girl from back then. It was overprotectiveness, excessive concern, but it didn't feel bad. It meant he was thinking of me.
Truth be told, the one who should worry about health is me, suddenly having to head to Yunnan.
My body stiffened at those words.
Yunnan?
My mind went blank. Yunnan—the remote fringe of Daesong's vast territory, right south of Sichuan geographically close, but utterly alien in the eyes of us Central Plains folk. A place where even Central Plains visitors often succumbed to strange illnesses, unable to adapt.
No.
My hand trembled unwittingly on the letter. Sure, Gaga traveled the realm—it wasn't odd for him to go to Daesong territory like Yunnan. I understood that rationally, but hearing it still flooded me with worry.
What if—what if Gaga fell ill there? What if a grave sickness took a turn for the worse?
No!
One miracle after another had let me shake off the qi deviation's aftermath. Gaga had made it possible for me to reclaim my life as a martial artist. All of it was thanks to him, and now that I could finally stand by his side— for him to vanish? For Gaga to leave me?
I couldn't accept that future. If something happened to Gaga, I'd bite my tongue and—
They say Yunnan is warm year-round with lots of flowers, so pollen must be terrible. My nose will itch all day—I'm worried.
?
Pollen? Not illness?
Clutching Gaga's letter, I rushed to Grandfather.
"That's right. People think Yunnan is overrun with jungles and bugs, but it's actually warm and mild all year. No need to worry about sickness."
"R-really?"
"Yes. It's all because of some nonsense novel by that Na Bonin or whatever. Yunnan is proper Daesong land under His Majesty's grace—how could it be full of poison pools and venomous bugs? It's a place where people live, after all."
I averted my eyes guiltily. I'd read that ridiculous novel Grandfather mentioned. Bedridden until recently, novels had been my only entertainment, my window to the world.
Novels are just novels.
It was a shock. Pools and rivers of poison, swarms of venomous insects and plants pouring from dense jungles, savage natives. I'd figured novels exaggerated, but pure fiction? I hadn't imagined.
"Still, I've heard people do die from diseases there."
I suppressed the shock and spoke up cautiously. My image of Yunnan might be fiction, but deaths from illness there were undeniable fact. That much wasn't made up.
"Diseases? Sure."
"Then...!"
"But that's for folk going straight from chilly climes to Yunnan. Sichuan's mild like Yunnan, so heading south from there? No concern at all."
Twice refuted, my face burned. Grandfather had far more life experience, vast knowledge—I couldn't doubt him. Which meant I'd made a fuss over nothing, bothering him needlessly.
"Feeling better now?"
"S-sorry, Grandfather..."
I couldn't lift my head at his warm voice.
"It's fine. A wife fretting over her wandering husband's safety is only natural."
He chuckled heartily, rising to embrace me.
"But worry not. The boy may be merely first-rate, but he's a descendant of Gi Chungmuwang and Giwang's eldest grandson. Even without martial arts, he's not one to sicken and wheeze."
His words rang with such certainty that my embarrassment deepened. Grandfather trusted Gaga this much—yet I, his fiancée, hadn't. I, who should trust him more than anyone, had doubted.
"If you're truly worried, stand by his side."
I nodded faintly. Grandfather was right again. If I worried for Gaga, I'd protect him at his side. If sorry for doubting him, I'd apologize there in person.
"So, how's the studying going?"
"Well, Grandfather. I'm working hard."
"Good. I know my granddaughter's clever."
His gruff encouragement brought a soft smile, gratitude swelling for him.
"Our Yeon-i could ace the exam, no doubt!"
"Hehe, I'll do my best."
Because he'd approved of me, from the Ak Wang household, pursuing civil service. Supported me becoming a martial artist-official like Gaga.
Just wait a little longer, Gaga.
I've worked hard and reached the edge of first-rate again. I might break through to peak soon. And to be with you, I'm preparing for the exams too. So I can join the Dochalwon like you, legally by your side.
A husband's side is for his wife to guard.
Jo Wi-cheo might be a super peak expert, but surely Gaga would prefer his wife there too? Kki-ing-i and Kki-ong-i would agree.
Even that Samshik kid.
Suddenly, a line from Gaga's letter surfaced. The spirit beast Nang-jung Wang had entrusted to him. A three-headed cutie the size of two fingers. Named Samshik for eating three times a meal.
Surely that one missed me too. Definitely.