A Slightly Twisted World - 1
This world, played with and abandoned by some other transmigrator—or reincarnator or regressor who wasn't me—showed a face quite different from the history I knew. For starters, the fact that it was the Song Dynasty that drove out the Mongols and unified the Central Plains was a problem in itself. Where the hell did the Ming go, and how did the Song come back to life? And yet, despite that, the national system was endlessly close to the Ming's. But the coexistence of the Song country name and the Ming-style bureaucracy was proof that the founder who rebuilt the Song—Taizu—had come from the future. And anyone who knows the future and comes back to the past inevitably goes through one stage.
'Talent collection.' Snatching up promising talents scattered across the land before they shine. Taizu spotted those who hadn't yet shown their light, those living as ordinary folk, those in hostile relations but stuck below high office, and gathered them up relentlessly. His ministers were busy praising it as the great founder's discerning eye, but from my perspective, knowing the truth, it looked a bit different.
'He just played Romance of the Three Kingdoms solo.' In a typical Three Kingdoms game, starting as a new lord means building an all-star dream team by recruiting Cao Cao, Liu Bei, Sun Jian, Yuan Shao, Lü Bu, and the rest as your subordinates—that's the standard play. Hardcore players might go for Uhm Baek-ho or Yang Hong sometimes, but for Taizu, this world wasn't a game; it was reality. Hardcore reality where he had to stake his life fighting the Mongols. So he scraped together only the real gems, not the half-baked ones. Fortunately, the chaotic era of the Yuan-Ming transition produced plenty of renowned heroes, and...
"Left Vice Inspector Han Un pays his respects to Your Highness Dong-gu Wang."
I had raced all the way to Zhejiang just to prostrate myself grandly before Dong-gu Wang, who was proudly listed in Taizu's talent collection as an SSS-grade pick.
"Raise your head, Left Vice Inspector."
As I pressed myself flat before Dong-gu Wang, a gentle old man's voice came from above my head.
"I at least need to see your face before deciding whether to rage or not."
Along with words far from gentle.
'Damn water bandit bastards.' Sweat beaded on my brow as I thought of those bandits who were probably getting diced up on the execution block by now. Those scum weren't even worth sending to Shanhaiguan or Guyongguan—they were non-recyclable waste.
'Whoa, shit.' When I finally lifted my head, I saw the old man who had approached right in front of me smiling faintly.
"Now I can see your face. Is it because I've gotten old? If I don't see someone in person like this, even faces I knew well before start to blur."
"I-I'm sorry, Your Highness Dong-gu Wang."
"Haha, what does the Left Vice Inspector have to apologize for? It's a trial this old man must bear. The natural order is that the old die."
On the surface, he looked like a kindly aged gentleman, but I wasn't fooled. Dong-gu Wang was one of the very first talents Taizu, who knew the future, had recruited. A hero who rose to kingly title in life—not posthumously—without imperial blood.
"Ah, do you like southern barbarian fruits by any chance? I recently got some with a unique flavor."
The man who vied for supremacy in the Central Plains in proper history, evaluated as the richest among the warlords of his age.
"If it's a gift from Your Highness, I would gladly eat anything."
"Good, no hesitation in your answer. You'll probably never forget the taste once you try it."
Oh Wang Jang Sa-seong-i. Now a heavyweight in both history and this world, insufficient to call merely "big shot." Ancestors, if you're watching over me, protect me...!
I was honored to share the king's meal in his chambers.
'Mangoes.' Food I thought I'd never taste again.
I wondered what "southern barbarian fruit" meant, but I never expected mangoes. Just how far are they sending trade ships?
"What do you think? Not bad, right?"
"It's a rare flavor I could never have savored without Your Highness's grace."
"That's too nonchalant for something so rare."
"How could I act rashly with Your Highness watching?"
I faltered briefly at the sudden jab but recovered quickly. My reincarnated life had passed twenty years; this was nothing.
"Every time I see you, Left Vice Inspector, I think the same thing—you're so polite, unlike these days' youngsters."
"I am deeply honored."
"If the others were even half as polite as you, none of this would have happened."
But the follow-up jab nearly made me lose it. Feed him, then smack him. This cruel man.
"I failed to eradicate those savage, audacious thieves who dared covet Your Highness's possessions early enough—how could I have ten mouths and still have words? Though those wicked bandits are being judged by the stern laws of Great Song, I know the insult Your Highness has suffered cannot be covered by anything."
Of course, teeth chattering aside, my body instinctively flattened to the floor—
"Rise."
"Yes, Your Highness."
And I stood again.
"Left Vice Inspector. Do you know how many ships I possess?"
"I am ashamed to say my dull mind cannot count the stars in the night sky."
Dong-gu Wang let out a small chuckle at that. My tearful flattery had landed a bit.
Old folks, heroes or not, all love sweet words in their ears as they age.
"Indeed. My ships are as countless as the stars in the night sky. It's only natural, as this is the gracious right bestowed upon me by Taizu."
With those words, Dong-gu Wang fell silent, his gaze distant, as if recalling his youthful days roaming the Central Plains with Taizu.
"A mere ship sinking or burning is no issue at all. Would anyone notice one star missing when they gaze at the sky?"
He burst into hearty laughter, but his expression gradually hardened.
'We're screwed.' My body stiffened in proportion.
"What's important is that the rights granted to me by Taizu have been trampled. Those mere, mere water bandit scum dared to touch the last grace Great Emperor left me!"
Tangible energy began to ripple around Dong-gu Wang. Looking closely, the teacup before him was starting to crack. At least my body wasn't shattering yet—small mercies?
"...But the insolence of these vagabond bandits isn't a day or two's affair. Nor am I unaware of how the soldiers of Great Song toil day and night for the world's peace."
"That Your Highness recognizes the soldiers' hard work on the frontiers—they will regard it as the glory of their lives."
Having vented his rage once, Dong-gu Wang seemed to regain some reason, murmuring to himself. This was my chance. With his capricious, cranky old temperament, I had to seize it to ensure no heads rolled.
"The world knows Your Highness's mercy and tolerance toward the soldiers toiling on the borders. The troops in distant Fujian can eat their fill and stay warm thanks to Your Highness's virtue."
Precisely, it was money, not virtue—but vast wealth is indistinguishable from virtue.
"Thus, the Provincial Commander regrets failing to live up to Your Highness's virtue and wishes to step down from office."
This was a lie. The Provincial Commander, who had risen to Regular Second Rank, had no desire for dishonorable retirement. But mentioning resignation before Dong-gu Wang was simple: showing voluntary remorse would soften his heart. When someone's rage has turned their eyes red, groveling for death raises survival odds more than begging for life. Their emotional high means they're more likely to waver at a pitiful sight.
"Hah, unnecessary worry. The Provincial Commander isn't blameless, but is it a crime warranting resignation?"
Fortunately, even this fickle old man grasped that truth.
"Left Vice Inspector."
"Yes, Your Highness."
"Where are you headed next?"
My loosening tension snapped tight again. He knew I was on a nationwide tour—asking my next destination? High chance of an urgent quest incoming.
"Nothing set, but I was thinking Guangxi."
"Oh? Perfect timing, then."
I ground my teeth inwardly at Dong-gu Wang's casual nod. Perfect my ass. He'd say the same if I'd said Goryeo instead.
"Stop by Shiwandaishan on the way."
"Pardon?"
The unexpected demand left me dumbfounded. This crazy old coot. "On the way" to where?
'The only thing in common is they're both west—sort of.' Reaching Shiwandaishan wouldn't just twist my route; it'd take me far west of Guangxi.
"The Baekryeon Cult Leader sent someone with a request, but the water bandits got in the way, so I forgot for a moment. He's probably waiting anxiously even now—go for me."
"Of course, Your Highness. Naturally."
But under the blunt pressure of "I'll let the water bandit matter slide, so just go," I could only nod. Surviving the king's wrath? Shiwandaishan was nothing. Might as well hike for health while I'm at it.
The one-on-one audience with the king, stormy as a tempest, ended.
"My lord."
The moment I escaped Dong-gu Wang's clutches, Jo Wi-cheo, who had been waiting blankly outside, hurried over.
Don't worry. Your rice bowl's safe.
"Wi-cheo."
"Yes, my lord. Speak."
"We're going to Shiwandaishan."
Jo Wi-cheo's body froze upright. Natural reaction. Shiwandaishan wasn't some local hill or neighborhood spot—it was on the fringes of the fringes on a Song map.
But what could we do? If the king says go, we go.
"Left Vice Inspector."
"Yes, Your Highness."
"I know of your innocence, and I owe your grandfather a great debt—this settles it."
This was the forgiveness I'd wrung out after endless concessions from Dong-gu Wang. Fine, if two people suffer to save high officials' necks, it's worth it. Positively, it puts those officials in my debt.
"...But, my lord."
"Yeah? What?"
"What are those yellow things?"
At his words, I handed Jo Wi-cheo the pile of mangoes cradled in my arms.
"Southern barbarian fruit. Felt bad eating them alone, so I grabbed some."
"Thank you, my lord."
He might hesitate at the unfamiliar look and smell, but Jo Wi-cheo unhesitatingly bit into a mango—peel and all.
"A bit chewy."
"You have to peel it, you beast."