A Monk Wants to Live as a Monk - 5
The doors of the Repentance Cave, sealed shut for decades, swung open all at once. The elders, whose voices we could scarcely hear even when delivering wall-grain pills or water, now showed their faces simultaneously. Not because their penance was complete, not because they'd been persuaded by me, not because a new enemy had appeared—but because of the arrival of a single bird.
- Kkieeeak!
No, because of the return of our family, our comrade. Hanyang, who had vanished decades ago, had come back.
'It's really you.'
I closed my eyes softly while gazing at Hanyang as it landed on the ground. Hanyang. The name we gave it because it was as pure white as a white heron. The poison bird that Cheongseung had kept by his side. Poison birds were creatures that couldn't mingle with other life forms, veritable flying calamities, so Cheongseung had hidden its existence thoroughly. Even within Shaolin, few knew of Hanyang. Aside from me, Myeong-seung, and the elders, no one knew of the bond between Cheongseung and Hanyang. And so, when Cheongseung passed away, Hanyang disappeared too. Without Cheongseung, there was no need for it to associate with humans. And since so few knew of Hanyang anyway.
"It's really Hanyang."
"Those eyes, that beak. No doubt about it. It's Hanyang."
"Still alive after all this time. Of course, it's a spirit beast—it must live long. It'll outlive even us."
As if confirming my recognition of it as Hanyang wasn't mere delusion, the elders stirred, busily exchanging opinions.
Now it was certain. The creature that had vanished after Cheongseung's death had crossed decades and reappeared. The one that had quietly slipped away, avoiding humans and other beasts alike, had boldly come to Mount Song.
'No sensation at all.'
Even more astonishing was that, despite Hanyang drawing near, I felt nothing. No prickling poison, no burning heat, no icy chill. Even at the state of immunity to all poisons, you'd still feel it when poison touched your body. But there was nothing—not even that.
As if Hanyang had no poison at all.
"Hanyang."
I'd kept my eyes shut for a long while before cautiously opening them. It felt like Hanyang might vanish the moment I did. Like its appearance was my illusion, and the elders' chatter mere hallucination.
- Kkiek.
But no. It wasn't an illusion or a hallucination. Hanyang had truly come to Mount Song.
"You've been through a lot, haven't you."
I approached Hanyang and stroked its face. More than just being near a poison bird—I was touching it directly. Yet still, no sensation.
Not even a hint of poison, despite handling a poison bird with my own hands.
"Really, so much has happened."
Unthinkingly, I pulled Hanyang into an embrace around its neck. Seeing you brings Cheongseung to mind. You vanished when he died, and now you've returned—it almost feels like Cheongseung is alive somewhere too. Enjoying nature in some place we don't know about.
"Thank you for coming back."
Whether you remembered us and returned, or were just passing by— it doesn't matter. Even if you leave our side again, it's fine. Just to see you once more like this. For your presence to draw the elders back out into the world—that alone fills me with joy.
- Kkieeeak.
As if sensing my feelings, Hanyang rested its face on my shoulder. Back then, it would snap if anyone got too close. It had changed a lot in the time we'd been apart.
Hanyang's visit to Mount Song was a blessing, but regrettably, we couldn't offer it lavish hospitality. Those who knew of Hanyang were me, Myeong-seung, and the elders. Meaning the only ones who could welcome it warmly and converse meaningfully were us. Showing Hanyang to Shaolin's young monks would mean nothing to them.
And so we continued our conversation with Hanyang right in front of the Repentance Cave. The elders had opened the doors but kept one foot inside, not fully emerging.
To converse with Hanyang without leaving the cave entirely, we had to stay right here.
'What does this even mean?'
A wry smile escaped me. If they'd already opened the doors, they might as well step out boldly. After all, their seclusion in the cave wasn't due to anyone's coercion—it was their own choice. A decision they made themselves could be undone by themselves.
- Kkiek?
Hanyang too seemed puzzled by the elders' demeanor, tilting its head and tottering toward the Repentance Cave.
"Heavens. To think I'd be this close to you."
"The poison is truly gone. How in the world..."
As Hanyang drew nearer, the elders let out sighs laced with awe.
A poison bird having no poison was common sense turned on its head—a truth defied. Like blood flowing in a human body, or fur on a beast. A poison bird without poison was like draining its blood or burning off its fur.
Yet Hanyang had achieved it. It had shed its poison with the resolve to drain its own blood and scorch its fur.
From a flying lump of venom that couldn't mingle with anyone, it had become an ordinary bird.
'How on earth.'
Miraculous and wondrous. Astonishing, yet heartbreaking. What resolve led a poison bird to abandon its own poison? What trials forced it to cast off its venom?
And enviable. Hanyang, who had discarded its innate curse through its own power. Hanyang, who had overcome the eternal shackles and fate it was born with. Infuriatingly enviable.
"Truly a spirit beast. Better than us old fools by far."
The elders shared my sentiment, carefully stroking the now-close Hanyang.
Yes, Hanyang is better than us. Far superior to us, who can't shake the blood from our hands and hang our heads in shame. Hanyang, who shed the poison it was born with. To even compare ourselves is an insult to it.
"Born a poison bird, yet it sought to escape that fate. It severed its own poison, expelling every trace from its body. You can approach it, touch its beak—no harm at all."
"Isn't it astonishing? To choose living among others rather than alone—such a commendable resolve."
Suddenly, the crown prince's words came to mind. A poison bird that sought to escape its fate. Could there really be two such unique and bizarre poison birds in this vast world?
Of course not. The poison bird with the crown prince was none other than Hanyang.
'We are fated, after all.'
The creature that vanished with Cheongseung had reappeared with the crown prince. In this boundless realm, it came to Kaepyeong, to Mount Song. If this wasn't fate, what was?
For Hanyang, cleansed of its poison, to appear before us, who can't lift our faces due to the blood on our hands—how could it not be fate?
- Kkiek!
"Hm?"
"What's gotten into you, little one?"
Even as I pondered if Cheongseung had sent Hanyang as a messenger to admonish us, or if the Observer had dispatched it to console Shaolin— Hanyang suddenly cried out sharply. Then it darted into the Repentance Cave and began pecking at the floor.
"H-Hanyang! You can't eat that!"
For a moment I wondered what was happening, but Martial Uncle's words revealed it: Hanyang was eating the wall-grain pills he'd offered.
'Well, now.'
A poison bird devouring wall-grain pills. The sight made me chuckle despite myself. Had it gotten hungry flying from Kaepyeong to Mount Song?
If so, we could provide plenty of—
"Stop eating! Too many at once is bad for you!"
Plenty of,
"How many are you eating?! If you're hungry, there are better things—don't crave this junk... Hey! At least pretend to listen!"
food,
'Hmm.'
Hanyang dodged the elders' hands this way and that, stuffing wall-grain pills into its beak. Of course, these were Shaolin's pillars—they could catch it easily if they tried. But wary of injuring Hanyang after decades apart, they held back their strength.
Thanks to that, the cave's wall-grain pills rapidly vanished into Hanyang's beak.
'It's just holding them in its beak.'
The flustered elders hadn't noticed, but Hanyang wasn't swallowing—it was just storing them. As if its goal was to clear out the cave's provisions.
'A spirit beast through and through.'
With nothing left to eat here, it was essentially scolding them to come out on their own. Hanyang found the elders' confinement baffling too. By removing their food supply, it was protesting. I've come back after so long— are you really staying in this gloomy place? No more food, so come eat with me.
Straightforward and wise protest. Who could refuse?
"That's all the wall-grain pills there were. Nothing more to give, and Hanyang still seems hungry. Shall we not have a meal together after so long?"
"Abbot, how can sinners like us eat comfortably?"
"It's a comrade returned after decades. Would you leave it alone?"
In truth, even those stubborn, iron-willed elders began emerging from the cave one by one.
- Kkieeeak!
Hanyang spread its wings in delight. The pills it had held in its beak were now spat onto the ground, but we pretended not to notice.
I stared blankly in the direction Kkieak had flown off.
'Why hasn't it come back?'
Breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner, night bites. Kkieak had always shown up faithfully for meals, but even now that evening had come, it hadn't returned.
I was worried. It didn't seem like it'd abandoned the bountiful life at Giwangjeo for the wild. But this long an outing was unbelievable.
'Did it get hunted?'
No, impossible. When it flies seriously, it's incredibly fast. Plus, it's stealthy enough to evade even Jo Wi-cheo's super peak senses. Unless it's a Hwagyeong master, no one could harm Kkieak.
And in Zhili Province, anyone at Hwagyeong who hadn't seen Kkieak would know it's my pet. Grandfather, Ak Wang, Jwa Do-eosa, Geum-ui-wi Commandant—they'd all seen it firsthand.
'Ah.'
Come to think of it, there was one Hwagyeong in Zhili who hadn't seen Kkieak.
Hyun-seung.
The only Hwagyeong here who didn't know Kkieak was my pet. Who might have hunted it, unaware.
But would Hyun-seung, tormented by guilt over wartime killings, slay an innocent Kkieak? If anything, he'd save a dying wild animal rather than kill it. Low chance.
'...Should I go check?'
Still, just in case. The odds of it running away or Hyun-seung swatting it were about equal.
Riding Kki-ing toward Shaolin, I was greeted by a bizarre sight.
- Kkiek, kkieeeak!
Kkieak flapping its wings amid a feast of delicacies. Gobbling down food offered by the monks. And the monks feeding it were clearly advanced in age and cultivation—elders at minimum, perhaps even senior elders.
'What the hell.'
My head went white. It runs off suddenly, turns up at Shaolin, and gets treated like royalty by the old guard? What happened in that short time?
- Kkiiiing?
Kki-ing tilted its head too, equally baffled by the scene. At least I wasn't the only one perplexed. Good.