Little Academy Lunatics - 4
As soon as the four gates of the academy slammed shut, the fierce debate raging inside vanished—just like the deathly silence outside. Neither I, Ak I-yeon, nor Jo Wi-cheo could utter a word. We were too stunned by the madness unfolding within to even open our mouths.
We're screwed.
And in this suffocating silence, after much deliberation, I reached my conclusion. Yeah, we're totally screwed. Screwed beyond repair.
Of all the topics, why that one?
I couldn't help but cover my face with my hands. If those guys had been as corrupt as the Seokgosan Academy bunch, I could've handled this without a second thought. I'd have ripped down the plaque without hesitation and bolted back to Kaepyeong.
But no. The little scholars of Akrok Academy weren't drunk on petty power like those degenerates. They were genuinely pursuing knowledge through healthy debate—as true scholars should.
The problem was that their debate topic was a time bomb that could shake the entire nation.
Is there even a conclusion to be drawn from... something like that?
My head was spinning. Those two scholars' freestyle diss battle was bizarre and horrifying in equal measure. What? If a martial artist is a criminal, does that make the common folk criminals too? Is it right to demand a mountain of responsibility from someone who only enjoyed a sliver of privilege? Should children bear the karma of their parents?
These were questions with no clear answers. Perfect fodder for counterarguments no matter what stance you took—ideal for rebuttals and counter-rebuttals alike. This wasn't a multiple-choice exam; it demanded an essay response. And there wasn't even an answer key.
"We have a guest."
What?
While I seriously contemplated just turning back, the academy's main gate creaked open.
"Martial artists already paid for their crimes right after the founding—!"
"We can't say that atonement was sufficient—!"
Naturally, as the gate swung open, the heated debate spilled out again. I felt like I was losing my mind. This must be how a priest feels witnessing a blasphemous devil-worship ritual. My body and spirit were melting away.
"Ah, it's a bit noisy, isn't it?"
Thankfully—or as thankfully as it could be—the scholar who'd noticed my expression came out himself, closing the gate behind him. The debate cut off once more. With the unholy ritual silenced, my heart eased a little.
"Haha, sorry about that. My fellow scholars get so passionate that this happens from time to time. They don't even notice when guests arrive."
"They're... certainly passionate."
Calling that mere passion felt like an insult to the word itself.
"I think so too, but it's unavoidable. We scholars must pursue knowledge relentlessly, advance it, and aid those who haven't yet learned. To slack in our studies would mock the realm and its people, wouldn't it?"
Theoretically sound, so I nodded bitterly. A scholar's learning must be endless. Scholarship is vast enough that no one lifetime can master it all; without passion and effort, a scholar stagnates and collapses. They fail to benefit the world or guide the people toward sagehood.
In that sense, the academy scholars debating with such fervor was positive news.
Of course, the ass-backwards topic was the issue.
"Oh, right—introductions are overdue. I'm Pungseong, of Akrok Academy."
Anyway, the scholar who'd come out—Pungseong—cupped his hands in greeting toward us. Compared to the wild-eyed maniacs inside, his rational, calm demeanor nearly brought tears to my eyes. Among all those scholars, he was the only one who'd noticed the guest; he seemed genuinely the most composed.
"...Left Vice Inspector General Han Un."
As I introduced myself in return, Pungseong's shoulders twitched.
"An honor to meet you, Left Vice Inspector General!"
He bowed deeply, treating me not as a mere visitor but as an esteemed guest. It was the expected reaction, but it moved me all the same. At least with these lunatics—with Pungseong, at least—the title of Left Vice Inspector General still held weight.
"I'd love to chat with you young men who will lead the realm one day, but it seems now's not the time. I'll return another—"
"Please wait just a moment!"
Before I could finish, Pungseong spun around and flung open the firmly shut main gate.
"Cease! Today's debate is over!"
He bellowed at the two still locked in their freestyle diss battle.
Internal energy?
Not just a shout, but one infused with internal energy.
"P-Pungseong hyung?"
"Pungseong hyung! What do you mean? End it already?"
"Enough! We have an honored guest who's graced us with their presence! How can we ignore a heaven-sent connection for a debate we can have any day?!"
His voice rang so powerfully it stung my ears, drawing involuntary admiration. This guy—a scholar versed in martial arts, a true wen-wu dual talent.
Don't tell me the others have trained too?
A sudden wave of unease hit me. What if the other scholars were all wen-wu hybrids? With that stamina, they could battle with their mouths 24 hours a day.
"But it's only been two shichen..."
Ah.
One diss-battler's words made me close my eyes in despair. My ominous hunch was spot on. These sharp-tongued devils had steel constitutions to match. Calling two shichen "only" was the mark of insane endurance.
"The Left Vice Inspector General is here!"
"Pardon?"
"The L-Left Vice Inspector General?"
And now the maniacs' eyes turned to me.
I want to go home.
Today, I missed Grandfather more fiercely than ever. Next time he heads to Kaepyeong with Do-cheol and Qilin, I should've begged to tag along.
In the end, I stepped properly into Akrok Academy. Bitter pill. I should've bolted before Pungseong spotted me. My hesitation had dragged me into this demon den.
A piping-hot demon den, still steaming from the debate.
"An honor to meet you, Left Vice Inspector General!"
"""An honor to meet you, Left Vice Inspector General!"""
"Good to see you all."
I couldn't exactly tell these politely greeting scholars, 'Don't talk to me, you demon spawn.' Objectively, these weren't criminals—they were true scholars devoted to learning. Snubbing them would go against a bureaucrat's duty.
If only the damn topic hadn't been what it was, I'd have greeted them warmly.
"S-Sir—"
"Even the spirit beasts bless this meeting. Look—the white deer roam the grounds, and that white bird soars the skies."
As one scholar opened his mouth, I cut in swiftly. I could guess what he wanted: with central policy under discussion, a high official appears? He'd ask my views on murim, and what treatment they deserved.
Regrettably, I couldn't answer such vicious questions. Even as crown prince, it wasn't a topic to mouth lightly—and even if qualified, I lacked the logic to articulate it. I was just smashing murim pots on orders from the Emperor and Left Censor-in-chief.
- Kki-ing!
- Kki-ong!
Sensing my desperation, Kki-ing-i and Kki-ong-i, who'd been wandering the grounds, approached the scholars.
"Though a minor disturbance occurred at the inn, your passion for realm and people has moved even the spirit beasts. So rejoice in this gathering now."
I repackaged the visit—not as an inspection, but guided by spirit beasts. It turned their arrival into beasts moved by passionate scholars. That might cool the scholars' overheated heads, hearts, and tongues a bit. Divert eyes fixated on murim treatment elsewhere.
"Oh, ooooh..."
"To think our humble discussion moved spirit beasts! What an honor...!"
Sure enough, countless scholars' gazes shifted to Kki-ing-i and Kki-ong-i. Even the one about to question me teared up and bowed. But who was the shameless one calling this a "humble discussion"? Where's the humility in this?
- Kkieak!
See? Even Kkieak-i, soaring overhead, screeched for them to shut their nonsense.
Thanks to the Left Vice Inspector General, my endlessly bickering juniors finally shut up. How long had it been since a debate ended before sunset? I shouldn't be moved by something like this, but tears pricked my eyes anyway.
He's a heaven-sent savior.
I'd even thought that much. My ears were burning, and I'd been debating slipping out briefly when—perfect timing—the Left Vice Inspector General opened the gate. He shut it quick upon seeing the madness, so if I'd been a tad faster or slower, we might've missed him.
Then we wouldn't have welcomed him inside, and the debate would've dragged on.
Overdoing it brings no good, as the saying goes.
Sighing inwardly as I watched my juniors pet the white deer, I reflected. I knew their debate was healthy. A scholar ceaselessly questioning and pursuing knowledge was ideal.
But excess was worse than deficiency. Lately, scholars caused inn brawls, spending more time arguing than studying classics. Was this normal?
If we can't end the debate, at least cool the fervor.
Akrok Academy was split down the middle right now. Neutrals like me were a tiny minority—and I was the highest-ranked by seniority and blood. My juniors heeded my mediation, but without me, even that would fail. The other neutrals ranked lower.
And I'd passed the exams recently. I had to leave for officialdom.
I can't abandon this mess.
Left like this, I'd hear rumors of Akrok Academy's destruction in months. My cherished place of memories would crumble.
Last hope.
So I gazed at the Left Vice Inspector General with desperate eyes. He'd shone at Hyeongju's Seokgosan Academy, word even reaching me here in Jangsa. Please, sort out this chaos. Chastise our overzealous ways like he did those corrupt ones.
***
After ripping down Akrok Academy's plaque, should I slap Seokgosan Academy's on here instead? Then the corrupt Seokgosan becomes the passionate academy reborn. The troublemaking Akrok vanishes from the world.
Perfect solution, even by my standards. Tempted to dash out and swap them now.
...Better send a letter.
Back at the inn, first thing: dispatch to Kaepyeong. No way I could handle this alone.