One Head Cut, Two Grow Back - 6
Damn that old freak. Damn monster bastard. If you're a king, just bask in your power like one, or go smash water bandits on the Yangtze and call it a day. So why the hell is this so-called king crawling all the way to this backwater corner of Zhejiang to stir up trouble?
Damn bastard.
I grabbed my shoulder, where Gu Gangwang's dog had slashed me, and took a deep breath. No surprise from a monster like him— even the dogs he raises are freakish. We'd been fleeing through the roughest terrain possible for a clean getaway, but that damn dog climbed a waterfall to chase us. No matter how much distance we put between us, it closed in like it was mocking us. Truly bizarre creatures.
High-level experts can scale waterfalls too, sure, but defying nature like that is never simple. Even a super peak master would show awkward movements doing it.
"Kkiyoooooot!"
"The vermin's over there— chase 'em to the end!"
"You thought you could shake us by hugging that waterfall, you scum?!"
But those things moved across the waterfall like it was flat ground. No hesitation in pursuing us. Impossible.
Did those bastards hatch from the waterfall instead of their mother's womb? Did some crazy pervert make a pact with it or something?
At least their numbers are low. If there'd been over a hundred of those lunatics, we'd have been wiped out ages ago. Luckily, the nature-defying maniacs numbered maybe thirty at most. And they were scattered, rummaging through the mountains. If our luck held like this, we could slip away somehow. Dodging thirty was tough, but six or seven? Doable.
But that luck was about to run dry.
I'm losing my mind.
A roar like the wind tearing apart was closing in. Gu Gangwang hadn't just unleashed his dogs—he'd shown up on the front lines himself to hunt us down. What an incomprehensible lunatic. Shouldn't a king, a commander, watch from afar with arms crossed among his troops? Why's he personally leading the extermination?
If I reincarnate, let it be in a world without Gu Gangwang. If reincarnation exists, I'll be human again someday. Please, just make it a peaceful world without bastards like him.
- Ppiae.
"...Huh?"
As I sensed my doom closing in, a strange cry made me turn. A turtle poked its head out from the river connected to the waterfall. A golden turtle, gleaming all over. I stared blankly, forgetting I was being hunted. A turtle here was weird enough, but a golden one? Was this the legendary Millennium Turtle I'd only heard about?
A Millennium Turtle in these mountains?
Confusing. Millennium Turtles live in the deep ocean. You can't see them on land even in your dreams— they're rare spirit beasts said to require three generations of accumulated virtue just for a coastal glimpse. And here one was, not in the sea but in the mountains. Right in front of me.
An auspicious... omen?
My lips curled up involuntarily. We'd miraculously shaken the maniacs, and now a Millennium Turtle appeared. Clear sign I'd survive. Yeah, had to be. For the king of spirit beasts to show itself personally? Definitely good fortune.
"You're coming with me."
I approached the Millennium Turtle. With this lucky charm, I'd pull off a miraculous escape and rebuild my forces in Fujian. It showed up in front of me because it wants to join me, right? Even in this dire spot, I had to take it. Heaven's will—
- Ptui.
The turtle spat, its saliva landing right by my foot. The ground melted away fast.
"What the—"
My body froze. A turtle spitting was odd, but melting the earth? Weirder still.
- Ppiaaaaaek!
The Millennium Turtle let out a bellow mismatched to its size.
Of course. Not an omen of fortune, but doom. A foul thing waiting for my corpse to hit the sea.
"Over there! Vermin's spotted!"
"Grab him now!"
Damn turtle bastard.
***
Ppiae was the type to stay quietly in my arms, like Samshik. A bit heavy since you needed both hands, but no issue carrying it that way.
- Ppiae!
Ppiae peeked its head out from my bosom and squeaked at Gu Gangwang, like it wanted to go with him too.
"Oh? You wanna go too?"
- Ppiae! Ppiaek!
"Haha! If you wanna go, come along!"
Gu Gangwang scooped up Ppiae in one hand and dashed into the mountains.
- Ppiae.
"Had fun?"
- Ppiaek!
Ppiae returned all majestic, flapping its flippers proudly.
...Why'd it go?
Glad it came back safe, but still puzzled. This quiet lap-pet suddenly heads to the mountains? Reacting to the waterfall? Or the foul aura from those pirate-bandit hybrids bugging the spirit beast? Or just bored? Whatever the reason, who cares. It stuck to me after the dragon ordered it to smash the pirates, even spitting at me. Pointless to overthink every move now. This one's fickle as hell.
"As long as you had fun."
- Ppiae!
So I took Ppiae back from the waterfall-type water bandit— er, special forces guy, who held it politely, and tucked it away.
"S-Sir."
"Speak."
"Thanks to your spirit beast, we captured their leader alive. His Highness Gu Gangwang was pleased too, so expect a reward, but I wanted to thank you myself..."
"Hm?"
I glanced down at Ppiae in my arms, per the special forces guy's words.
- Ppiae?
Ppiae tilted its head, like why stare? This thing helped capture their boss? Enough to please Gu Gangwang?
What the hell did it do?
The dragon didn't order Ppiae to smash pirates for nothing. Sneaky little fighter. Though spitting at strangers from the start meant it was never exactly tame.
"His Highness Gu Gangwang is victorious! He's purged the scum plaguing the realm!"
"Gu Gangwang ten thousand years! Ten thousand thousand years!"
As I thought to never let Ppiae roam free again, Gu Gangwang returned amid the troops' cheers.
"Soldiers of Great Song, hear me! We've exterminated the rebels who dared invoke noble names to sow chaos!"
He raised his right arm, and the cheers intensified. Looking closer, the Inspectorate troops were especially fervent— probably prepped by their itching-for-a-fight superiors.
"But we can't stop here! Evil bandits persist even in this peaceful realm! Zhejiang and Fujian still harbor scum that must be purged!"
Flag-bearers thrust their banners high. Quick on the uptake, those ones. Gu Gangwang meant continue the purge, so flaunt military discipline to boost morale.
"This battle is just the beginning! For the realm's peace, we march forward— forward! Bury the thieves defiling mountains, seas, and rivers in the underworld!"
"Great Song Empire forever! Gu Gangwang ten thousand years!"
"Punish the wicked fouling the land! Spread His Majesty's majesty across the world!"
I stroked Ppiae's head amid the frenzy. Zhejiang and Fujian would echo with bandits' wails for a while.
The duo of kings and dukes leading a force of doom wouldn't flip the central southeast upside down— that didn't happen.
"Soldiers aren't trained martial artists, right? Piling battles on them is harsh. Forced marches injure even the unscathed."
Gu Gangwang declared a bandit purge after the Yangtze campaign, but opted for a leisurely one. Utterly reasonable, yet baffling. Never expected rationality from him. Guess his battle smarts skyrocket in combat.
"So, Han Un. What's next?"
"Next?"
"Stay in Zhejiang longer, or head elsewhere?"
I mulled fast. Wenzhou was just a pass-through originally. Bandits' warm welcome tangled everything.
"Time to head to Fujian. With Great Song's loyal, matchless troops blanketing Zhejiang, no need for me here."
"Mm, fair point."
Gu Gangwang nodded lightly.
"Then travel with us, Han Un. We're sweeping southern Zhejiang anyway, then straight to Fujian."
"P-Pardon...?"
Suddenly, I'm embedded with the army. I'd tagged along for a fight that wasn't mine... now full tour?
***
I chuckled watching Han Un slink away bitterly. Truth be told, I hadn't planned to drag him along. He's got a super peak Inspector Escort, and he's roamed the Central Plains fine so far. No need to join the army proper.
But right before letting him go, I changed my mind.
Thought Jiayu Pass was safe too.
Han's internal injuries from Koke Temur's ambush there. Think of that, and prepare for the worst. Unlikely, but with Fujian in bandit purge chaos, what if Han gets caught and hurt? Comparing ragtag bandits to Koke Temur is laughable, but lightning doesn't strike twice by rule. No law says rebellion won't.
So Han sticks with me. If he gets hurt in my ops zone, how do I face Giwang and Ak Wang?
Damn bandits causing all this hassle.
Fucking bandits.