Astrania-1337
A pale wash of morning light was seeping through the gap in the window.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I felt wasn't the light. It was body heat.
Warmth along the inside of my arm. The soft weight of the blanket. Breath close enough to brush my ear.
I looked down and found Luce.
She was turned toward me, eyes still closed. Hair spilled loose across the pillow, one bare shoulder sunk into the mattress without a care in the world.
...Damn. She's so fucking cute.
I didn't move.
It felt good. Better than I'd expected—by a lot.
My body was tired, no question, but my head was floating. Last night's heat had already burned itself out. Even so, something left behind it was still burning quietly somewhere under my ribs. Not the empty haze that comes after lust drains away. Something quieter. Something that stayed.
Luce's eyelids lifted, slow.
"...You awake?"
Her voice was rough with sleep. Lower than usual. Much closer.
"Yeah."
"Liar."
She tugged the blanket up to her chin and peered over it, brown eyes half-lidded.
"You've been up for a while."
"How did you—wait. You were awake too."
"Heh. Got me~"
"...Cute."
I huffed a laugh. She laughed with me.
I'd thought it would be awkward. It wasn't. Embarrassing, sure—every time our eyes met my throat went dry, and something about talking felt careful—but it wasn't uncomfortable. If anything, it felt too natural.
I stared at the ceiling for a long moment, then muttered,
"Ah, damn."
"...What?"
"We stayed up all night."
Luce snorted.
"And whose fault is thaaat~"
"Mutual. Let's call it a draw."
"Hmph. Whatever you say."
Under the covers, she gave my calf a light kick with her toes. I caught her ankle, snorted, and let go. She shot me a look, then turned her face toward the window. The tips of her ears were red.
"Luce. You tired?"
"A little...?"
"Same."
For a moment neither of us said anything.
Luce spoke first.
"Still... it was good."
"Yeah. Me too."
Short words. They didn't fade easy.
I took a breath and started to sit up—and something snagged hard in my head.
One month.
Today.
Aura.
"Ah...!"
"Hm? What's wrong?"
"Aura—today's the day I learn Aura!"
Luce's eyes went wide, then she burst out laughing.
"You idiot... You waited a whole month and you're only remembering now?"
"Hah. Until just now I was thinking about something else."
She looked at me once and smiled.
"If you go like that, Garen's going to know right away."
"Huh? Know what?"
"Oh, I don't know~ That something good happened?"
"Is it that obvious...?"
"Yeah. Super obvious."
I dragged a hand down my face. The problem was she wasn't wrong. My body was exhausted, and my mouth kept trying to smile anyway.
"Go wash up."
She tipped her chin toward the bathroom.
"It's an important day."
"Heh. Yeah, yeah."
I shut the door and splashed cold water over my face.
Fucking freezing! First miracle shower of my life...
My head snapped clear.
The face in the mirror looked unfamiliar. Tired, sure—but the eyes were awake, and a thin layer of tension sat over them.
Today was the day Garen had promised to teach me Aura.
One month.
Exactly one month of clenching my teeth every morning and taking up a sword. Getting hit. Falling. Palms scraped raw. Standing back up. Getting hit again.
And at the end of all that—today.
But over that tension, another heat was layered.
The warmth and breath that had been there until a minute ago. Luce.
I dunked cold water over my face again.
"Ha... I'm losing it."
When I opened the door, Luce was sitting on the edge of the bed, raking her fingers through her hair. Still wrapped in the blanket. More awake than before.
I buttoned my shirt, pulled on my coat, picked up my sword, and took hold of the doorknob.
Then my hand stopped. This wasn't the kind of morning you just walked out of and came back to.
I halted in the doorway.
When I looked back, Luce was watching me. Eyes that weren't asking anything.
I couldn't pretend not to notice.
"Luce."
"Yeah."
I chose my words carefully.
Saying I liked her would have been easy. Especially in a room still holding last night's heat.
But I already knew how easily the things that came out of my mouth could settle someone—and wreck them.
So I couldn't say the easy thing.
"I like you."
Her eyes wavered for a second, then went quiet.
I didn't look away.
"I've never taken you lightly. And last night isn't something I'm going to act like never happened."
"...Okay."
She looked at me instead of answering. The playfulness was gone from her eyes.
I wet my lips.
"But... I can't say the easy things. Not right here, right now."
"The easy things...?"
Her voice was low, thinning at the end. Hurt threaded through it.
I nodded.
"Saying I like you is easy. Saying you're the only one... easy, in a moment like this."
"...But?"
She watched me, still.
I didn't talk around it.
"I've never really been good at relationships. How long that word would last—honestly, I don't know either."
Luce pinched the edge of the blanket between her fingers, then let it go. That was answer enough.
I took my hand off the doorknob and turned fully toward her.
"But I can say this."
"...What."
"I don't plan on lying to you."
The way she looked at me shifted a little. Not fully open—but she was meeting my eyes more squarely than before.
"I won't say things I don't mean. And I won't pretend later that I never said them."
"......"
"And... that you're special to me."
Silence held for a while.
Luce dropped her gaze for a second, then exhaled. A face I didn't know how to read. Not angry, though.
"...Alright."
"..."
"Then at least don't lie to me."
I nodded.
"I won't."
"And don't only come find me when you need something..."
"I won't."
"And..."
She stopped. Eyes still on my face.
"You know what kind of person you are."
"..."
"At least don't hide it from me."
That almost made me laugh. Too accurate.
Accurate enough that I was funnier to myself than anything. Pathetic.
"...I won't."
She looked at me a long time, then smiled. Small. Not a face that said everything was fine—but not a face full of regret either.
"Go."
"Yeah."
"Today really is important."
"...I know."
"So..."
She pointed at the door with her eyes.
"Do something about that face, too... Seriously, the whole neighborhood's going to hear about it."
"That bad?"
"Awful."
I snorted and walked back over to her.
Her eyes lifted. Surprised, but she didn't pull away.
I leaned down and kissed her. Light.
Her body trembled, just barely.
"I'll be back."
"...Yeah."
When I opened the door and stepped out, the morning air cut cold across my face.
Behind me, the warmth of the room fell away.
My head cleared. At the same time, something settled.
Luce's words came back one by one.
Don't lie to me. Don't only come find me when you need something.
...I already knew. Sick of knowing.
How I'd ruined every relationship I'd ever had.
Saying I liked someone was easy. Saying I loved them, too. But the second it got inconvenient I put distance between us, and the moment the other person believed they had me, I was already gone.
That was me.
And that kind of man had just told Luce he wouldn't do it again.
Spitting the words out had been fucking easy.
Ha... Shit. What a pathetic bastard.
The curse slipped out on its own.
It was almost funny—promising I wouldn't, when I already knew how the story ended.
It hadn't been a light thing. My steps felt a little heavier than before.
And somehow, I didn't hate that.
By the time I reached the training yard behind the guild, the morning fog still hadn't fully lifted.
Cold air sank deep into my lungs.
Garen stood in the center of the yard. Wooden sword in hand, stance stripped clean of anything unnecessary. Low morning sun stretched his shadow long across the ground.
I corrected my posture as I approached.
The second I stopped, Garen looked me up and down. One corner of his mouth ticked up.
"Something good must have happened."
"...Is it that obvious?"
"It's written all over you like a dog in heat."
I bowed my head.
Ah, for fuck's sake. How the hell am I supposed to hide this.
Luce had been right.
Garen tossed me a wooden sword.
Thud.
I caught it without thinking.
"Face is one thing. Body should be loose enough, at least."
"Of course."
Without warning, Garen stepped half a pace forward.
"We'll keep it short."
"A check?"
"Yeah. Last one. Whether you're fit to learn Aura today."
My heart slammed hard.
I adjusted my grip. My hands remembered the weight—every morning, teeth clenched around this same heft.
Then Garen came in first.
A low, fast strike.
I brought the sword up on pure reflex.
Crack—wood met wood. My wrist rang. But I held. A month ago, I would have folded right there.
The second strike came in.
I didn't block it. I let it slide. My wrist turned the angle on its own.
The third came from a different line—deeper, steeper.
Old me would have given ground.
I stepped aside. The tip skimmed past.
Then the pressure poured on. Garen gave me no room, like a man who already knew exactly how far I could last.
My breathing roughened.
But my eyes stayed sharp.
With every attack that came in, I tried to read his center. His timing. His weight.
A kind of composure I hadn't had a month ago.
...Now!
The thin gap right after the fifth clash. Garen's sword half a beat late.
I didn't retreat. I drove forward.
A short, straight thrust.
Garen slipped aside.
It didn't land. But the counter had come out clean—and that alone was something different.
The pressure kept coming after that.
Every second I was being pushed. Wrists buzzing, breath hitching once or twice. But I didn't break.
When blocked, I redirected. When driven back, I stepped off the line. When I saw a gap, I stabbed into it, even if it was only a short one.
Bang!
On the eighth exchange, the wooden swords met head-on.
The shock ran the full length of my arms. I bit down and held.
Right after, Garen stepped back first.
"......Huh?"
Something stupid slipped out of me before I could stop it.
Garen looked at me with the wooden sword lowered. That usual flat face held a faint, unmistakable satisfaction.
"That'll do."
My breath caught in my throat.
He rested the tip of the wooden sword on the ground.
"A month ago you wouldn't have lasted the first exchange. You'd have been rolling on the dirt."
"..."
I was breathing hard. I didn't mind it.
Garen eyed my stance once more and added,
"Not now. You shake, and you set yourself again. You hold, you correct, and you keep the tip alive to the end."
Every word landed square in my chest.
I clenched the wooden sword tighter.
Garen gave a short laugh.
"You've come a long way, Siyun."
My heart dropped once. Then rose, hot.
You've come a long way.
That single line hit me hard enough to sting. The whole month rose up at once.
The mornings I'd rubbed sleep out of my eyes and dragged myself to the yard. The hours my palms peeled and my arms went numb and I still wouldn't drop the sword. Getting hit, getting cursed at, resetting my stance, getting hit again.
All of it was in that one sentence.
I tried to crush the feeling down. It didn't work. My eyes burned, and my mouth kept smiling on its own.
Garen saw it and snorted.
"Happy?"
"...Obviously."
"Not even trying to hide it."
"Why would I hide a good thing."
I wanted to shout.
Garen set the wooden sword on the rack and folded his arms.
"Good. Then I keep my promise too."
I went still.
One month. Hold on, get better, and he'd teach me Aura. That promise.
For real.
Today.
Aura...!
"...Ha."
It came out on its own.
"You're serious?"
"Yeah."
Garen gave a short nod.
"Starting today, I'll teach you Aura."
The second the words landed, my heart dropped hard.
Aura.
The power every swordsman wanted. Strengthen the body, load the blade, change the fight itself.
I'd wanted it so badly it made me stupid—and now I was going to learn it.
My fingertips itched. I wanted to start right now. Wanted to tear open something inside myself and look.
"Whoa..."
A laugh leaked out with my breath.
"I'm losing my mind, for real..."
Garen huffed a dry laugh.
"You haven't even learned anything yet. Why the hell are you carrying on."
"No, but still..."
"I can see you're worked up."
He walked up and tapped me once in the sternum with a fingertip.
"But Aura isn't a power you catch by getting excited."
My mouth shut immediately.
Garen's eyes changed. The joking stopped there.
"Get your head straight. From here on is the real thing."
"...Yes, sir."
"Being glad is fine. Just don't miss a single second of it. This is the day you've been waiting for."
I clenched my teeth and nodded.
"Yes, sir...!"
Garen stepped back. His gaze dropped to the ground.
"Sit."
I dropped into position at once.
Garen stood across from me.
In the cold air, something was about to begin.