Brawl on the Eighth Floor
That was apparently enough money to knock some sense into her — the girl had changed a little.
"Miss! I turned down every invitation from those playboys again today! Ugh, they swarmed me the whole way up to the first floor."
"Good work."
Just ignore them. Why go to all that effort?
Swooooosh
"Hah, hah, hah."
"You really don't have to do that, you know?"
"I do it because I want to!"
Every morning she got up before dawn, heated water, and brought it up in a warm basin. All so I could wash my face. Was there anything money and devotion couldn't accomplish?
"Anyway. Thank you."
"Oh no, it's nothing!"
Then one day, the eighth floor started getting noisy.
"Hm? Guests go up to the eighth floor too?"
"I wouldn't call them guests so much as owners. Important people from the city stop by there now and then."
Should I... just go home?
"Aren't I supposed to stay in my room only?"
"Well, you see, most of the people on the eighth floor don't go out either. They just stay a while and leave."
"Oh? Is that so?"
So they just amuse themselves among themselves. Figures.
"Honestly, those ruffians out there might be more of a nuisance, don't you think?"
"I can't even step outside once."
I should at least see the marketplace before I go, but those idiots' antics guaranteed trouble the moment I set foot out. Brawls, abductions — ugh, I'm sick of it all.
No new food to try, and the same scenery every day. Time to move on. The seasons may turn, but I can't linger forever.
"Soh-hyang. It's about time for me to go."
"Ah... you're leaving, Miss?"
I'd stayed a few months, and the girl had grown quite attached.
"I have a home too, you know."
"Is it far?"
Probably so far you'll never see me again? Parting is always hard. Even if I gave her an expensive gift, she couldn't keep it safe. Better she just hold on to the memory.
"Far... it is far."
"*Sob*..."
But medicine I could give her. Diluted Holy Water would help if she ever got sick or hurt.
Clang
"This is a gift for you."
"Eh? Isn't this alcohol?"
Alcohol, my foot!
"It's medicine. Keep it somewhere safe at home, and if you're ever sick or injured, rub it on or drink it."
"*Sniff sniff*."
She's smelling it first? The nerve. The nerve, I say.
"Oh! It's not alcohol, is it. It smells like flowers? Almost like you, Miss."
Is this girl a ghost? It's diluted — even I can barely tell.
"It's precious, so guard it well."
"Thank you so much!"
Thud thud thud
"May I enter?"
Hm...? Nobody's supposed to be coming up here.
"Who is it?"
"I'm not sure? Did you know someone after all?"
"No."
The omens were bad. I could feel trouble coming. Should I leap out the window?
BANG
"If there's a person inside, you knock and open the door properly, no?"
I was still deliberating and he just barged right in? What kind of manners are these?
"Oh ho! So it's true!"
What in the actual hell is this?
"So where might Miss So live, good lady?"
"My apologies, but I have a long road ahead. I must be off."
And I'd been planning to stay for lunch, too...
"No, no! At least tell us your name!"
As if telling you my name would make me stay?
"It's Haneul."
"Oh! So she gives us her name, does she?"
What's going on? Do they not use names here? Am I supposed to use some courtesy title or a courtesy name instead?
"Come up with us and share a meal."
"I was just leaving, as it happens."
Step
This rotten-discarded-apple of a man? Blocking my path? Fine, then I'll just go around.
Step
Are we doing this?
"Excuse me, kindly move."
Before I beat you into the floor.
"We have the most delicious food made from rare, precious ingredients! We truly wish to dine with you!"
"..."
"We're no strange men — just an upstanding society of honest young gentlemen from the neighborhood!"
In my experience, plenty of creeps spout that exact line with a straight face.
"Fine. I'll stop by briefly."
"Wonderful!"
Rare food, my ass. Just watch.
"Soh-hyang, I'm going to stop by somewhere. Let's part here."
"Miss..."
"Take care of yourself."
"*Sob*..."
Pat pat
Why are you crying? Meetings come with partings, that's life. Wait — is this brat hoping to watch two women hug and sob over each other?
"Ahem."
Now you're giving me looks, you brat?
"Ah... I'll be off then. Travel safe, Miss."
"Mm."
All right then. What could possibly be so grand about this eighth floor? Let's find out!
The eighth floor was a room so crammed with clashing colors of decoration that it came off as cheap kitsch.
"Haha, welcome, welcome!"
"Oh!!"
"My word..."
"Tch. What's supposed to be so pretty about that!"
The eighth floor held five men in their twenties and thirties, along with two women. Naturally, the men gawked in admiration while the women seethed with jealousy — standard features, nothing extra.
"A pleasure. I'm called Haneul. I've come from Daehan, so I'm unfamiliar with local customs. I ask for your understanding."
I'm not from here, so stop shoving your culture and customs in my face!
"Ah! So Daehan doesn't use courtesy names, I see."
"Correct."
They'd bragged there'd be good things on the table, but it was nothing special.
Siiiip
Oh? The wine, though — that's actually good?
"You enjoy your drink, I see?"
"I do."
"Ahahaha."
Boring. Should've skipped this. Though it'd be a shame to leave with the wine this decent...
"Do the people of this country have weak tolerance or something? The bottles are tiny, and the cups are far too small."
"Absolutely not!"
Oh, touchy? Fine, bring me the big ones then. This is chafing my throat out of pure frustration.
"Hahaha. Miss Haneul certainly has no fear!"
"Hm. Indeed, I don't... Well, I'll be going now."
"Nowhere to go yet. We'll bring it right out."
I should at least pilfer some wine on my way out. Nothing else here looks worth pocketing.
"Ho ho. A commoner, clearly. Look how she's ogling every corner of the room."
Excuse me, what did this woman just say?
"It was too filthy to look at, so I was sightseeing."
"Excuse me?!"
"No flower arrangements, and you've just cluttered things everywhere — it makes my head spin."
"Why you—!"
Did she decorate this herself? Because she did a spectacularly terrible job?
"Worse than my own room, honestly."
"You wretched girl!"
GRAB
Huh? What— this woman? Hey! Let go of my hair! Ow!
"Hey! What are you doing! Let go!"
GRAB!
"KYAAAAH! Let go!"
You won't let go of mine but you're telling me to let go?!
"You grabbed first! Let go already!"
"Shut up! AAAAGH!"
She's pulling harder, the lunatic? Fine, let's see who wins!
Rip rip rip rip
Huh? Wha... A huge chunk of my hair just got ripped out. Quite a lot of it.
"GYAAAAAAAAH!"
"Huh?"
Rip rip rip
Great, my hair's free, but what about her? Her whole scalp's been torn up, blood beading down in little drops!
I did casually toss the ripped-out hair aside, mind.
"GYAAAAH! My hair! I'll kill you!"
Shing
She had something tucked at her waist — a dagger, apparently? Ever actually stabbed anyone? Swinging it around without a shred of hesitation.
Whoosh whoosh
"Where do you think you're running!"
"You'd just sit still and take the blade, if you were me?"
"GYAAAH!"
What is with her? She's practically a beast. Is she even human? Blood streaming down her face does make her pretty terrifying, actually?
And the others around us weren't even trying to break it up — just smirking and spectating. So much for "honest gentlemen." These are just a pack of lunatics.
"Don't blame me for this, hm?"
Swoosh THUD
I ducked the dagger lightly and, twisting with the motion, drove my heel straight into her temple.
You have no idea how many hours of martial arts practice I did with my kids...
"Kck."
Crash
Wearing those voluminous robes that make it hard to even move, and she picks a fight?
"Whoa!"
"Miss Haneul is incredible!"
"Oh. Good sirs!"
"Heheh."
Watching a brawl is fun, I'll admit.
"The atmosphere's gone sour, so I'll take my leave."
The wine's lost its charm now anyway. I'll go home and drink my fill.
"Hm? Things were just getting warm — where do you think you're going?"
"He's right. Stay and enjoy yourself with us!"
"It would be a shame to leave just like this."
I said I don't want to. What's it to any of you?
Scrape
"Hm? What's this?"
The guy who'd slipped away to fetch the wine chose that exact moment to return.
"I'll be going now."
"Already?"
"Yes. No manners, no courtesy — I couldn't stand it here another second."
This country has given me not one good memory. Well, Soh-hyang was nice, I suppose?
"Hm. Since you've come this far, surely you'll stay through the night with us?"
"I was only staying for a drink in the first place. Goodbye."
"Heheh."
I'm just going home quietly like a good citizen. I'm tired — let me go.
GRAB
"Agh!"
"What was that, you wench?"
Grabbing my hair again?
Swoosh CRASH
"AAAAGH!"
This son of a— he grabbed my hair and threw me! My scalp's already been through the wringer today — it hurt like hell!
"You'll be attending us through the night, after all."
"Ugh. It stings like crazy."
"Why don't you strip down and get started a little early, hm?"
"How about I make sure you never need night service again for the rest of your life?"
"Watch your mouth!"
THUD crunch
Watch it delivered via a long, high kick straight to the family jewels. And just like that, I've sent another one off!
"Khhhhhh...."
God, I love this. One hit, every time.
"Th-that! That woman!"
"Young master!"
"Get her!"
"You won't leave here alive!"
Even with four of them piling on, this room's too cramped. Two on one at best.
Swish
Straight through the gap between the two in front. The one gawking blankly in back first!
THUD crunch
Hm? His scream came out a little...?
"The wicked witch goes straight for the vitals! Everyone, watch out!"
You're four guys ganging up on one woman and that's your complaint?
SMACK
"Kahaha! How's that? Can't get through, can you!"
The one in front was thinking for once, hands cupped over his balls, wasn't he?
"Your guard just dropped?"
"What? Guard?"
The face has plenty more vital spots, genius.
POKE!
"GRAAAAGH!?"
Spread your fingers and jab at the eyes like this, and anyone's hands shoot right back up where they belong!
THUD SMACK!
Huh? Why's this one's scream like that?
"What now?"
"Should we run?"
Oh, two left, is it?
"Heheh. Pathetic lot, aren't you? Five grown men and you can't beat one woman?"
"Grrk! Th-that's because YOU fight dirty, you witch!"
"Five-on-one isn't dirty, but my one rock is?"
Whoosh THUD
"Kck!"
While keeping them talking, I fished a stone out of my Subspace and hurled it with everything I had at, well, you know where.
Oh! Clean hit. This is what dirty fighting actually looks like, right?
"Eeeek!"
"Where do you think you're going!"
CRUNCH WHAM
"Kck!"
I chased him down at once, seized him by the hair, and kindly slammed him backward into the floor. Back of your head numb yet?
And then I raised my foot and—
THUD crunch
Heel drop from above! Oh — wait, this angle might've flashed a bit of what's under my robes? You're welcome!
"Uuurgh..."
"..."
"Khh..."
"Gyaah..."
I looked around. It was a war zone, plain and simple.
"You struck first, so hold no grudges, hm?"
They'd grabbed me by the hair twice, after all? Hm. Should each have taken two hits, then?
"A... a witch..."
"A demon has appeared..."
Rumble rumble rumble
"Young master! What is the meaning of this!"
Hm? They had bodyguard warriors after all?
"Eh? You had bodyguards the whole time?"
"Heh heh... That woman won't be leaving intact. I'll make sure her legs never close again. Khheheh."
"Are you insane?"
THUD
His mouth sounded like it was possessed by a demon, so I kicked him clean across the room. The kick below the belt was a bonus.
"Hm..."
Lots of footsteps pounding this way, I sensed? Time for the window!
Tatata
BANG!
A window is a door too, no? Let's go!
"Whoa! What a rush!"
Oh, the wind feels great! The eighth floor was higher than I thought?
But then, there's a building across the way about six stories tall, isn't there?
Tap
Off that, onto the four-story one, then the two-story, and finally down to the market ground—
CRASH roll roll roll
"Ow, ow, ow."
Excuse me? That was supposed to be a flawless landing?
"There she is! Grab that woman!"
"Hurry! The wench is impossibly quick!"
Since I'm so quick, maybe they should call me cute, like a little weasel?
"See you around! Wahahaha!"
And off I went, sprinting with pure glee. With a heart and lungs incapable of bursting, my victory was a foregone conclusion.
I hightailed it up into the mountains and flew the rest of the way home.
Hm? I feel like I'm forgetting something?
"Eh? When did you get back?"
"Just now?"
"What about the kids?"
"What kids?"
Oh. Right! I told them to stand by because I'd return in spectacular fashion, didn't I?
Well, since it's come to this, why not put them to work?
"So you see, what happened to me in the Kingdom of Qin was... (omitted)... and that's exactly how it went down."
"..."
Huh? Sure, I embellished things a little, but why are you trembling with rage like that?