What's Happening in the Research Lab? (1)
A long stretch of time had passed, but the situation was flowing in a strange direction. The Mongols, who had seemed poised to stir up trouble, were unexpectedly quiet, while Zhou was going off the rails entirely.
Wait, is it even Zhou anymore?
"Zhang, Zhou, Zhu, Hu, and Jin?"
"Yes."
"So they've just split clean apart into different countries and are fighting each other?"
"I'd say they're in a temporary truce for the moment."
Something's off here. The State of Zhang? The State of Zhu? The State of Hu? What even are these? The names don't even roll off the tongue — did countries like this ever exist?
"Such a sketchy neighborhood. Can't even go sightseeing there."
"If you go, they'd probably drag you off to a battlefield."
"Me?"
Do they draft women for war too?
"You do fight rather well, Haneul-nim."
"Yeah. Fair point."
She'd been bored lately and playing sparring games with the Intelligence Bureau kids, and somewhere along the way her skills had improved quite a bit. Still, if she had to swing one of those big battlefield weapons, she wasn't much good, was she? Something on the level of Guan Yu's crescent-moon blade was about all she could manage.
So will Jin unify everything in the end? Qin Shi Huang, baby!
"Who do you think will win?"
"Hard to say, but the western State of Jin and the northeastern State of Zhang seem to have the advantage."
"Zhang?"
"Yes. It borders our Refugee Autonomous Zone, and they've been buying up quite a lot from there."
Ah. There is a lot of stuff there, true. The little brothers I left behind when I visited last time must be old and dead by now. They've probably built some kind of martial arts hall there too — has the place gotten more fun?
"Are the Intelligence Bureau kids still busting their humps trying to get up east?"
"Yes. The more they fail, the harder they try."
"I keep telling them they can't get there..."
Sending that tree over was a waste. Now they're trying even harder.
"Shall I order them to stop?"
"Just leave them be. They know how to look after their own skins."
Maybe it's because their bodies are just that good? They've got some kind of animal instinct — they do dangerous things, but never anything that'll actually get them killed. Our kids really do live like wild beasts.
"And the ones heading west?"
"By the way, why do you collect so many books, Haneul-nim?"
"So you people will study."
Because you're all too ignorant! Your thought and culture aren't developing at all!
Even China next door had the Hundred Schools of Thought — every philosophy under the sun!
"Doesn't studying ruin the body, though?"
And there it is.
"If you build up only muscle with no knowledge, you end up a dumb ox."
"A dumb WHAT!?"
Huh? Is that so shocking?
"Yeah. At the very least, use your strength knowing what you're doing. If you just bulldoze through problems with raw muscle and no understanding, you've only solved half of it."
"Gasp!..."
What? What's with that reaction?
"So build lots of schools and lots of research institutes. Fill your heads AND build your bodies, you blockheads."
"Haneul-nim, you mustn't say such things!"
Me? What about me? You're using everything I taught you and now you're talking back?
"You're the one who said strong bodies make for easy minds, Haneul-nim!"
"Yeah, and that's true, isn't it? But when did that ever mean you could stay ignorant? Are you an idiot?"
No wonder the kids never used their heads. They'd just been throwing muscle at everything.
"How could you say something so cruel!"
"No, think about it. When did I ever tell you not to study?"
"Hmm..."
"You all say 'strong bodies, easy minds' because solving things with your head is work, and shoving through with muscle is easy. If you're going to spout nonsense, get out there and re-teach the kids properly right now!"
And he's not going. Just dawdling there.
"Why aren't you going?"
"I feel a bit wronged, that's all."
"Look. A strong body does make for an easy mind. That part's true."
"See? I was right!"
"But are any of you as strong as me?"
"Ah..."
There he goes with the 'ah.' They've twisted my deep meaning into something bizarre, these kids.
"That's why you all need to use your heads AND your strength."
"I see now..."
Why the funeral-mood atmosphere?
"Nobody said study like some bookworm scholar! I'm just saying don't be ignorant, you rascal!"
"Oh? So we don't have to study as much as the scholars?"
"Those people study because it's FUN for them! You lot just put in a little extra studying on top of the exercise you love!"
"Yes, sir!"
Good grief. Unbelievable. Wait, aren't you the Chancellor? Aren't you supposed to be one of the head-users?
Ah, the future of this nation... Still so many rocks lying around. Our intelligence never made it out of the Stone Age.
That settles it! I'm going to the research institute myself.
That day she had her head shaved down to the scalp. Her secretaries had shrieked in horror, but hair grows back by tomorrow, so she'd simply told them to buzz it all off. Then came the fake beard — the tricky part — and binding her chest tight with cloth. Why on earth was it so springy? The compression refused to take, so in the end she rigged water pouches around her belly instead.
The final result: a short, chubby fellow with a shaved head and a full spread of stubble.
If anyone catches me parading around like this, it'll be beyond humiliating.
She cautiously paid a visit to the research institute. The scholars had gathered in little clusters, chatting with one another and scribbling their conclusions down onto paper.
"Hmm. What's this 'Agriculturalism' school of thought about?"
"Something about how everyone must labor to earn their keep? And they consider merchants to be vermin, it seems."
Hm? Is this a 'let's go back to the primitive age' philosophy?
"If everyone labors, won't production vastly overshoot demand?"
"I'd worry about terrible waste."
Why is your thinking going there? The core of it is concern about the landlord class and the merchants, isn't it?
"So nobody's going to run the administration at all?"
"That seems rather extreme."
That's not it... apparently this place isn't it either. I should try another group.
"Hmm. What could this be? Sounds like they're saying we should all go forage berries in the mountains together?"
"Perhaps it simply means not to force anything?"
What are you people even reading?
"The phrasing is far too vague, in any case. Are we sure this translation is even correct?"
"It should be, unless their doctrines have changed drastically in the meantime."
"Daoism? Nothing but utter gibberish."
Yeah. I don't know what they're on about either...
"Hmm? Isn't this one similar to our communal child-rearing?"
"Slightly different — it says several married couples must become one family."
"My. Isn't that dreadfully licentious?"
No? Why did your mind jump THERE?
"Hahaha. Those westerners deal in things no one can fathom."
"Sharing wives and husbands. Tsk tsk tsk."
I'm pretty sure that's not what it means...
"Soon enough no one will know whose child is whose, eh? Goodness."
That's just you lot interpreting things bizarrely...
"Hahaha. Can one person truly handle every duty?"
"Difficult, surely. That's why our own nation has twelve ministries, doesn't it?"
"I heard they split them up because the Chancellor was too dim to manage everything?"
Huh? Things were going well — where did THAT come from?
"To be fair, I did hear it was because trying to do only what Haneul-nim commanded proved utterly impossible, so they divided the work."
That feels like half the story...
"Still, the legalist material seems reasonable enough."
"If they ever learned when our own legal code was compiled, they'd be astounded."
The law they're discussing isn't simply that at all, is it? These are philosophies, you numbskulls!
This group's wrong too. This is a disaster.
"Hmm. 'Know thyself'?"
"Was there anyone who didn't know their own name?"
At this point, isn't the interpretation itself the problem? Isn't it supposed to mean 'recognize your own ignorance'?
"Hmm. I'd say it's about cultivating humility."
"Perhaps it means to listen well to others?"
Oh! They're actually working!
"Shouldn't that be settled by force?"
"Hmm, true enough? Whoever said that must have been weak."
Ah...
"Exercise exists neither in the place where one exercises, nor in the place where one does not?"
"What in blazes is that supposed to mean?"
Tell me about it? Somehow this is hard?
"Wouldn't it just mean exercise at every possible moment?"
"Oh! I just thought of something — what if we made books out of stone slabs?"
"Oh! Then one could exercise even while reading!"
I'm pretty sure that's not the point at all...
"Since it's come up, I must ask the Artisan Corps whether we can make clothing out of stone."
"Oh? Splendid idea!"
How exactly do you plan to put it on? Take it off?
"What about bracelets made of iron?"
"Are you a genius, my friend?"
This is the ivory tower of our Daehan. The hall of scholars, they said? I've clearly come to the wrong place. Might as well go home.
"Hmm? And who might you be?"
"Umm. I'm here for the first time today."
"Eh? Your voice is awfully soft for how you look."
Ah... I want to pitch it deep, but this body just won't cooperate.
"I was frail as a child and took my medicine poorly. Ahem. Cough..."
"You must have suffered much."
He actually believes that?
"And what are your interests?"
"Oh, this and that, all sorts of things. But I do like machinery."
"Oh? Would you happen to know anything about steam?"
Is this technology talk? Sounds like he's getting at the steam engine.
"A little?"
"Oh! Come along with me, then!"
He's awfully delighted? Do people not show much interest? A steam engine does sound worth a look, though.
"Now you've piqued my curiosity a bit as well."
"I've made something, you see. Come along!"
It's probably just a pinwheel rigged to a beaker. Come to think of it, that would be kind of cute? Hehehe.
They left the research institute and walked for quite a while. Just how far is this old man going?
"Hwahahaha! A colleague at last — what a joy!"
"Why? Do people avoid you?"
"Chemistry, it seems, is where everyone's gone. They're dead set on discovering new substances."
Is there really anything for chemistry to develop from? At the very least we'd need sulfuric acid or hydrochloric acid before anything could begin.
"All sorts of strange birds in this world, you know. There's even one fellow who collects dung and urine — utterly revolting."
"Good heavens..."
Does he know what he's doing? Dung and urine — besides potassium nitrate, is there anything else to get from them? Well, worst case they'd make fertilizer, I suppose.
"But I say! This steam — I'll stake my name that it will be our great innovation!"
"The exact same thought as mine!"
That's right. Inefficient though it may be, the steam engine is the very starting point of every industry! With it, scholarship advances, and we can prepare to build the internal combustion engine!
"Heh heh heh. Here we are. Just ahead. It's been an age since I brought a colleague here."
"Is that so?"
So there IS someone else here!
"Everyone runs off the moment they see what's inside. I wonder what you'll do."
Huh? What does he do that makes people run away?
Screeeeeech.
"Behold! My laboratory!"
Judging by the building, it's just a warehouse?
Flash. Flash.
"Huh?"
What... is that?
"What do you think! My masterpiece! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"Wow..."
"It wasn't my work alone, mind you — but counting the whole of it, we're some five hundred years in, I'd say!"
"Whoa..."
This is... big as it is, there's no mistaking it — a steam engine! That round cylinder! It runs on a piston! The crank on the wheel — he's nearly got the whole thing done!
"Oh? Interest, is it!"
"Does it actually run?"
How could anyone NOT be excited?!
"Well. Hoo. It turns, but it doesn't work properly yet."
"What's the problem!?"
"Steam keeps leaking from that round boiler there."
So the piston seal isn't up to snuff yet. Ha. Still, to have built this much after five hundred years?
"If only I had someone to help me — but it's been our family alone all this time, and whew, it's a trial."
"Huh? Just your family?"
"Indeed. No one else takes any interest, you see."
And THIS is the important one! Everyone else ignored it, and one household has been at it for five hundred years? That's some serious grit.
"So this cylinder is the problem?"
"Making it perfectly round is terribly difficult, I'm afraid."
"How do you make them now?"
"Pour molten iron into a mold, then grind it down by hand."
Hmm. So it's all manual labor? There's a lathe standing right over there — he doesn't use it?
"Shall we try working on it together?"
"Is there a method!?"
"Let's take the cylinder apart first and mount it on the lathe!"
We're almost there anyway, so lending a small hand can't hurt, right? We just need to fit rails onto the lathe.
Squee-eek-eek-eek!
"Skipping breakfast, were we? Turn it faster! It won't cut straight like this!"
"Huff... puff... Here. Here, you try a bit."
Where does this old man get off playing the weakling?
"Look at these arms and legs of mine. You think I have muscle to spare?"
His limbs look sturdier than mine, though...
They hung the cylinder on the lathe and were turning a triangular-bladed iron post against it to shave the cylinder down. All by manual power, of course. The warehouse sat too far from the river for a waterwheel. Nothing for it but to do what you're good at.
Muscle it is.