Why Would I Review 230 Years of Paperwork?
With everything that had happened in Seolju, I figured there would be plenty to deal with back home, so I summoned the Chancellor.
Knock knock knock.
“Come in.”
“Reporting for duty, Your Holiness.”
The Chancellor this time: Jaehu. Shouldn't this family be producing generals instead? Every generation, they just keep getting more built. Something about all that muscle rubs me the wrong way—puts me in a foul mood. Muscle-brains. Can't stand the sight of them!
“Have I... done something wrong?”
Not you, exactly. Your muscles are what's wrong.
“No. But I hear that when I went to Seolju, people were refused citizenship because I wasn't around to approve it?”
“Yes. I judged that such matters required Haneul-nim's direct permission.”
I made you Chancellor precisely so you could handle things while I was away. I gave you the authority, and you're just sitting on it. Couldn't you use some initiative here? Maybe a few more centuries of experience and he'll improve.
“They've already learned our language and look nearly identical to us anyway. From now on, approve them on the spot. No waiting.”
“Yes, Your Holiness.”
Hm? Something about that calm face and a flat little yes makes my fist itch strangely...
“Um... why are you looking at me like that?”
“Never mind. Find me a craftsman. We'll need to work with charcoal ash, so it'd be best to source one from Moda.”
“Yes, Your Holiness.”
What is with him? No questions at all? Most people would at least ask what for? Is this one on the slower side?
“I... am not that dull, Your Holiness.”
“Oh. Did I say that out loud again? Sorry.”
“...It's quite all right.”
“Right. Get to it.”
Strange. I don't remember actually speaking, do I? Hmm...
THUD.
“Wh-what is that?!”
Is the Chancellor planning to assassinate me? Why did he bring a book so thick it's practically a weapon?
“A record of everything that occurred while you slumbered, Your Holiness.”
No, what is this nonsense? Do you know how much paper you've wasted? That's got to be thousands of pages! You were supposed to summarize it onto one or two!
“Never mind~ I'm sure you did a fine job.”
“Yes. I would ask that you verify it was done well.”
Is this revenge for last time? Ridiculous.
“...”
“...”
Are you picking a fight with me? Haha. My, how your temper has mellowed. Fine, then. Bring it on!
Flippity-flip.
Whoa. He made twenty-three branches off the World Tree, and the country has grown to twenty-four cities?
Hanju and Seolju in the north I've seen for myself. Oh? Choryeong and Haeryeong out along the Steppe Road? And where's this one?
“Where exactly is Haeryeong?”
“People actually thought it was the sea at first, but when they followed it to the end, it turned out to be a lake. That's why they named it Haeryeong. They say it's even larger than Daeho.”
Oh? Lake Baikal? They made it all the way there? I'd love to visit—but what would we even get out of the place?
“What's it for?”
“They chased a creature that lives in the water and followed it all the way there. It began as little more than a hunters' village, but thanks to the World Tree branch, they can farm now, and people have been gathering there in considerable numbers.”
If I remember right, Baikal gets brutally cold too, so the World Tree branch is really pulling its weight. They say the scenery there is absolutely breathtaking—I have to see it someday.
“But why were they chasing seals, of all things?”
Isn't there plenty of meat right next door on the steppe?
“The hides are valuable, but apparently it's the oil they're really after. Seals are rich in it.”
Ugh, oil again. Are we really that short on oil? It comes up every single time.
“If oil's that scarce, have them grow lots of yellow beans.”
“Yellow beans, Your Holiness?”
“Yeah. Press those and you'll get plenty of oil. Easier than sesame, I'd bet?”
“Oh. They're a common weed in the fields—wonderful news indeed. Thank you, Your Holiness.”
Would olive oil be more useful, maybe? Eh, why not both.
“And also—bring in olive trees from the west and try pressing their fruit too.”
“So that yields oil as well, does it?”
“Mm, I believe so. Try it and see.”
Don't ask me for details—I honestly don't remember. I'm just recalling things that used to be everywhere back home...
“Oh, and tell them not to overhunt the seals. If the population gets too small, we won't even be able to go look at them anymore.”
Cute seals must be protected! I want to go see the seals!
“Yes, Your Holiness! Spoken with such wisdom!”
Why are your eyes sparkling like that? What now?
“The whole nation is already buzzing with tales of how you gathered the wolf packs of Seolju under your care.”
“I just happened to run into some good kids, that's all.”
I'd rather not have strange rumors spreading about me. You all may not care, but the embarrassment of thousands of years from now falls squarely on my shoulders...
“Oh? You've divided up responsibilities?”
“Yes. The population has grown too large for one Chancellor to manage everything alone, so we split the duties.”
“Good. Now we need to build a proper administration, starting with ministers.”
“I beg your pardon? Ministers? And what, may I ask, is an administration?”
Hm? Is this organization a bit too democratic? Whatever, as long as the country runs well—what do I care?
“Right. Each minister specializes in one field—construction, transport, ships, smithing, and so on. Just one focus each. That way, people who truly know their craft will gather under them, no? And if policy is shaped through discussion with those experts, shouldn't it turn out better?”
“S-so that's how it's done...?”
Hm? You weren't dividing things up this way already? Then what were you doing? Were you just shuffling people from one job to another however you pleased?
“Hold on. Were you... running your staff into the ground?”
“Hmm...”
“They didn't run away?”
“Gah!”
Looking at those forearms, I doubt he even bothered with light labor—no, he must have been beating them while working them. Who wouldn't run from that?! You monster!
“Any more questions?”
“Ah. N-no, Your Holiness.”
“Then hurry back to work. You'll be busy.”
“Yes, Your Holiness!”
Won't be seeing hide nor hair of him for a while. Heh heh heh. I win.
Slap.
“All done, Your Holiness.”
He reorganized the entire administration in a single month? Why is he presenting it with such confidence?
“Really? Let's see. Ministry of Construction, Ministry of Transport, Ministry of Craftsmen, Ministry of Soldiers?”
What? Just four? Have you ever seen such a blockhead in your life?
Flippity-flip.
No matter how I shake it out or turn it over, it's four lines, full stop.
“Only four?! You're wasting paper, you little—!”
“Surely four is sufficient?”
Oh? Talking back? Are you defying me right now? Someone's clearly fed you the wrong information about my temperament.
“First of all. Farming is important beyond words—so who's going to look after it?”
“Does it really need a ministry? Things grow just fine when you stick them in the ground.”
Huh? Does he have a point? No! No he does not! You are NOT sliding past this one!
“And if you keep relying on the World Tree alone, what happens if it disappears? Everyone starves to death?! Someone has to figure out how each crop grows best and tastes best, and manage it properly—doesn't that seem obvious to you?!”
“Gah! The World Tree can disappear?!”
Beats me—I'm not the tree. No, wait! That's not the point here, you—!
“And someone needs to survey what plants even exist and catalog how to use them!”
“Wh... why on earth would we need to do that?”
Th... this—? I was trying to be nice about it, and he's arguing back?
CRACK!
“Gwek!”
What's this? All brawn, no toughness? Kids these days, honestly.
Thwack thwack thwack.
“Where do you think you're sleeping?! Get up this instant!”
“S... spare me...”
SPLASH.
And now he's collapsed the moment I let go?
“Well, well? Not getting up? I'm standing—does the Chancellor intend to sit there while speaking with me?”
“N-no, Your Holiness!”
What comes after agriculture... oh, right, of course.
“You will create a Ministry of Welfare.”
“And what might that be?”
“It's the state helping people who struggle through no fault of their own.”
“Why? Would such people even exist? Everyone eats well and lives well already.”
Oh... so your defining trait is talking back. And here I thought you were a yes-man—turns out you're thoroughly seasoned in insubordination.
“Starting tomorrow, I'll be walking the back alleys myself. If I find a single person living in hardship from disability or misfortune beyond their control, you're sentenced to death. Shall I carry out the execution personally? I'd be happy to oblige.”
Rest assured, you won't die easily. I'll crush you bone by bone, crack by crack!
“Ah—! N-no, Your Holiness! I'll see it done immediately!”
What else was there? Oh! Those athletes and their sloppy brawling!
“And we need an office to manage the athletes, don't we? Someone to organize the rules of the sports and invent new fun ones, no? I hear they're still playing the exact same games from 230 years ago?”
“Sports too, Your Holiness?”
... ... KRAKOOM.
“AAAARGH!”
Ever heard of this? It's something Shin-chan's mom does all the time—you press on the temples like this and it's supposed to hurt like hell? Hurts a bit, doesn't it?
“Yes! I was wrong, Your Holiness!”
Quiver quiver.
Why do you have to get beaten before you listen? Are these people masochists or what?
What else... oh.
“Oh, right.”
“Eep!”
Don't startle me like that—wait, why are you the one jumping?
“And the laws—fix whatever doesn't fit anymore. Manage the judges properly too. Things should be handled more professionally, don't you think?”
“Yes! Perfectly said, Your Holiness!”
Some military discipline is finally sinking in. Look at those snap responses now.
“And we need to get people studying. Properly educated.”
“Would education really help with farming?”
“Yes. Education helps with farming too. And the more clever people we have, the more convenient and fun life becomes for everyone.”
“Hmm. Then we'd need an education ministry as well.”
That should just about cover it... oh, one important thing left.
“And let's establish a Ministry of Foreign Affairs.”
“What is foreign affairs?”
“People to talk with other nations. Right now we're the only country there is, but down the road there will be an enormous number of them. Better to start documenting their languages and cultures now.”
There are far more complicated duties involved, but starting simple is best. Explaining the rest would just fly over his head anyway.
“Would any nation truly dare to make an enemy of us?”
“And what would you do if the entire wide world banded together against us?”
“Ah...”
Right now it may feel like the whole world is ours, but who knows what things will look like in a few hundred years. Take China—no, take the Xia. We should have clashed with them ages ago, and their suspicious silence is really starting to get under my skin.
They endured and held their tongues for hundreds of years? You all seem to have forgotten, but I guarantee they haven't forgotten a thing.
“Keep an especially close watch on the Xia Dynasty.”
“Haven't we had little to do with them?”
“No. They carry centuries of grudge against us. If you're curious, dig through the old records.”
“Yes, Your Holiness.”
The one who strikes may forget—but the one who was struck never does.
“Then how would we even find such things out?”
“Might as well start an intelligence organization while we're at it.”
“Intelligence, Your Holiness?”
Might this be jumping the gun a little? Ah, whatever—it's out of my mouth now.
“Yes. You bribe people from other lands for information, or sneak in and steal it. If another country has good technology, you poach the people who know it or steal the knowledge outright.”
“Ooh...”
“And of course, we'll need to guard against the reverse.”
“Gah!”
We have to watch out for the other side doing the same to us. That's exactly why I built Moda as a dedicated industrial city, and why the craftsmen there are managed so carefully.
Sorry about that, everyone. It couldn't be helped. With this era's idea of security, it was the best I could do.
“You understand how important this is, yes?”
“Then I must gather people who can be absolutely trusted.”
“Right—that's the most important part. If only I had some token of authority to give you, but I can't think what would work.”
My powers have nothing left to offer these days... isn't there something special I could—?
Oh? Hold on? I think there is one thing? My clothes. The fabric from my single-set-of-clothes days!
I'll make handkerchiefs! And garments for them!
“Hey!”
“Y-yes?”
“I've got it!”
Better show him right away.
Shhhlick—SNIP!
“Good heavens! What is this?”
“A fabric I created myself!”
“To think such a thing could exist! It's softer and finer-woven than silk!”
Oh? Now that he mentions it—what is this stuff made of? Surely not petroleum compounds? Common nylon or something?
No, you can hack at it all you want and the threads never fray. I tried pulling thread from it once, way back. Failed miserably.
“What do you think? We'll make handkerchiefs, or garments to wear—something special. A token of trust.”
“!!!”
What? Why are you gaping like that?
“This is... it will do! Absolutely, it will work! I'm certain it will. *Hah*... *hah*... Cloth woven by Haneul-nim's own hands, touched by Haneul-nim's very skin!”
What is he even saying? I feel like something deeply weird came out of his mouth just now?
Sniff sniff. “Ooooh! And it carries Haneul-nim's very scent!”
Is this guy a pervert? Sniffing it and making a scene? Can I really trust work to someone like this...
No, this absolutely must not get out. If fabric like this falls into the hands of people like him, I have a bad feeling something deeply unpleasant will happen.
Sniff sniff. Hah. Hah.
Should I just kill him after all?