You Call These Stockings?
"You call THIS a stocking?"
I had decided it was time to pull off something big in Europe.
「SQUEEEEEAL」
"Ugh, that startled me. I was busy setting the mood here…."
Since we were going to be hauling a truly enormous volume of cargo from now on, I'd built a transport ship even bigger than the Whale Shark class.
Length: 78 ja (121 meters), width: 17 ja (26 meters).
You could say it was roughly two and a half to three times the size of a Whale Shark.
For now it was just loaded down with goods, but it had a hidden secret function all its own… hehehe.
"We've arrived!"
"Huuueeeeggh…."
You see, our dear Mose had never actually been out to sea before—she'd only ever accompanied me to the oil refinery and the dam construction site.
Right now she was diligently feeding the fish their chum.
She claims her stomach is upset, yet she still eats her meals just fine.
And then, of course, everything comes right back up within moments of eating….
"Hang in there just a little longer. I can see the harbor."
"Yeees…."
Good grief, she looked like a person turned into a slime, flattened and stuck to the deck.
"Hehehe. They've built it beautifully."
Now then, what would it take to make a really big splash in business?
I had to catch people's eyes and turn every head in the room. So what would be the best way to do that?
"Hehehe. A building that's genuinely worthy of being called a landmark—far more magnificent than any half-baked royal palace!"
Off in the distance stood two five-story buildings side by side.
Like twin towers. Identical in shape, down to the last detail.
I would have loved to build something even taller, but elevators made me far too nervous, so I hadn't dared.
Shall we make another killing? I've brought back plenty of things you'll all love!
Before the department store opened, I took one last look around—and honestly, they'd done a magnificent job.
The whole thing was built solidly out of reinforced concrete.
I'm a little worried about earthquakes, you see. The building can collapse all it likes, as long as nobody gets hurt.
「Step, step」
"Mm. Well made. It's good, but we need more lighting. Brighter, absolutely brighter, no exceptions."
"Brighter than it is now?"
"Yes. Focus the extra light on the product displays. Make them visible from anywhere in the building."
"Understood!"
And honestly… I hadn't imagined they could deck out the interior this lavishly with rosewood and ebony.
There was even pale, whitish-grained wood mixed in—the entire interior finished in timber.
The woodsy fragrance was overwhelming. It felt like stepping into the middle of a forest.
And with the lighting layered over it, the place captured both rustic elegance and modern refinement in a single stroke.
In my day, wood this expensive was so pricey no one could afford to use it like this. Ha!
"Are the guest rooms ready as well?"
"Yes. We even drilled the staff through a full training program."
What does shopping in this era absolutely require?
A place for these people to sleep, obviously.
They travel for days, sometimes weeks, to get here—no one is going to look around for a single day and leave, right?
So I'd built a hotel too. The plan was to turn this place into both a department store and a resort.
That's why we'd secured the plot right on the waterfront with a gorgeous view. Walk out front and you can swim in the sea.
"How are the external shops coming along?"
"We can open them at any time."
The twin buildings at the center were packed with porcelain, precious metals, and other high-ticket luxury goods.
And around the perimeter, we'd built wide single-story structures arranged in a zigzag shape—warehouse-style showrooms.
Inside them, weapons, provisions, cotton clothing—goods for the common folk? Or for merchants? Either way, the shelves were stuffed to bursting with mid- and low-priced wares.
With that much done, I figured the interior was squared away.
「Step, step」
"How do the exterior lights look?"
"Shall I switch them on?"
"Go ahead."
Once the outdoor lighting was confirmed, we'd be done.
Ah, if only we had something like a walkie-talkie, it would be so convenient. Our hardworking department store manager comes jogging over.
「Fwoosh」
"Oh…."
These kids? They already know how to use the aesthetics of indirect lighting?
There were so many ledges jutting out from the building's facade that at first I took them for eaves—but they'd installed lights inside them.
Clever, honestly. Indirect lighting is perfect for creating a soft, atmospheric glow.
「Fwoosh」
"Oh!"
And with modified searchlights throwing directional beams across the exterior, the place looked bright as noon even at night.
From now on, this place would know no difference between night and day.
"The kids really poured their hearts into this…."
「RUMBLE」
Hm? Is it about to rain? I suppose I should head inside?
「RATATATATATA」
"Whoa? A downpour?"
Rain, out of nowhere? This isn't exactly that kind of neighborhood, you know?
「POW BANG BANG BANG—ZZZZZIP」
"Hm?"
Accompanied by the sound of a whole lot of things popping, everything around us went dark.
This was that thing, wasn't it? The bulbs were exploding, and the rainwater was shorting out the wiring.
"Oh no…."
Up close, I could see there was nothing shielding the bulbs at all.
Of course those hot bulbs would burst the moment rain hit them. And with water pooling around, the circuits would short out and kill the rest of the lights too….
Ahh… and here I was thinking, for once, we'd managed to pull this off without a single accident.
"What's going on?!"
"What happened?!"
"Check the bulbs—they won't light up!"
Check them now, in the pouring rain? Shouldn't you wait until the rain stops tomorrow and everything dries out first?
"The ladder!"
"Hold on—I brought it over here."
Working away out in the rain… well, I suppose I have to admire the initiative!
"Hold the ladder steady!"
"Got it."
And watching them climb up to investigate the problem—honestly, there's something rather dashing about it. Nice~
"Just as I thought—the bulb burst. Cold water must have done it. We'll need something to shield them."
Right, right. Now get down, gather the materials tomorrow, and fix it then. Go on down and rest, all of you~
「GRAB」
Hm? Why are you grabbing that? You're soaked to the bone?
「Vvvvvvvzzz—」
"Nnnnngh!"
Hm? You? Did you climb up there without shutting off the electricity?
"HRRRGH! I will not lose!"
And winning that gets you what, exactly? No, wait—you're beating it with a war cry?
「CLICK」
"Hooaaahh. A fine contest. Heheh."
Absolute lunatics…. Steam is rising off his head—is he really all right?
Has electricity gotten weaker without me noticing?
Considering how many European scientists in the old days ended up as charcoal, I don't think so….
"You lot—cut the power before you touch anything…."
"Oh! Haneul-nim! Were you here all along!"
Yes, and I watched every bit of your brainless stunt.
"You do know the Europeans turned themselves into charcoal touching these things, don't you?"
"What? But this was barely anything?"
I'm sorry, what? What kind of lives are you kids living, exactly?
The lights are all dead anyway—just flip the switch off first!
"Haahh…. Do as you like. But from what I can see, you'll need to make sure water can't get into the bulb housings or any of the live wiring."
"Understood!"
He marched off with such a valiant answer that I suppose he's fine after all?
Or is he? His hand looked like it was trembling a little, actually….
「SLIP」
"Ack!"
Huh? Did the ladder slip because it was soaked through?
「THUD」
"Khh—!"
He fell? A man just fell from two stories up!
"Oww, ow ow ow…."
"Get up quickly and go inside so someone can look you over."
"Yes."
Excuse me? I know it's a grass lawn, but—you're just dusting yourself off and standing up?
"Haneul-nim, I'll head over now!"
"I'll see you there!"
"Y…yes…."
I honestly can't tell whether I'm underestimating my own children or what.
Apparently they refuse to lose to a little thing like electricity, or rocks, for that matter.
I'll have to lay down the law later so no accidents like this happen after opening day, either.
One wrong move and this could start a fire. I did not put all this work in just to watch it burn to the ground.
"Well then, shall we go send out the invitations? I won't need all that many, I suppose?"
Sending invitations takes forever in this day and age—no phones, no email, you know.
I'd better run the staff through training one more time.
The banquet hall of the European Union, in Rome.
"Mm, an invitation like this arrived from Pyeong-an Naru recently. Did you all receive yours?"
"Er… well, I…."
Not everyone had received one. They'd only been sent to those with apparent purchasing power—that is, nobles with money to burn.
After all, the gift attached to it was quite expensive(?)
"And there is a rather remarkable gift that came with it."
"What might that be?"
Seeing as he hadn't gotten an invitation himself, the questioner's nose was practically a foot long with envy.
"THIS!"
"Hm? An ordinary stocking, no?"
Did you know? Astonishing as it sounds, stockings were originally a garment for men.
They were first worn to keep metal armor from chafing the skin—but as firearms advanced, occasions for wearing armor dwindled, didn't they?
And now, unbelievably, they were becoming a fashion item whose very purpose was to show off the leg lines of aristocratic men.
「FLIP」
And then, without warning, the man flipped up the hem of his tunic and bared the horrifying sight beneath.
His calves….
"Wha—?"
"Well? What do you think?"
"NO!"
The men were thunderstruck.
And then—of course—they went around flipping up each other's tunics to inspect the stockings in minute detail.
Ah… so this is what draws out men with such filthy hobbies. Of course they'd all gather in one place….
"Why is there no garter strap!"
"Wahahahaha!"
For reasons best known to themselves, the men collapsed in shock over the absence of a garter.
Stockings in this era were made of silk, velvet, and other fine fabrics—which meant zero elasticity.
Naturally, they had to be tied with cords around the knee to keep them from sagging down one's legs.
"And speaking of which! What is this leg line!"
"How is it~?"
"Oh! Why, the very shape of the muscle stands out in sharp relief!"
Since these stockings were designed to emphasize the curves of the leg, that level of detail—every individual muscle visible—should have been impossible.
Not with any fabric these men owned.
"And there's more."
"…."
Somewhere along the way, a crowd had pressed in around him, eyes fixed solely on his legs.
「STREEEEETCH」
"No! You'll ruin the stretch!"
"Oh, don't!"
He wore stockings fitted to perfection, and then went and did something that would obviously stretch them out. Pained groans of despair rippled through the onlookers.
The crushing hopelessness of witnessing the destruction of a work of art.
「SNAP」
"Huh?"
"What—what?"
"What just happened?"
And yet the stockings, astonishingly, snapped right back to their original shape.
The onlookers, gripped by a mild case of cognitive dissonance, stood frozen, only their eyeballs rolling in their sockets.
"What IS this thing?!"
"Goodness! Extraordinary!"
"Wonderful!"
"Where on earth did it come from!"
What Haneul had scattered alongside the invitations was none other than spandex stockings—a blockbuster product destined to sweep Europe.
Sending out just a few of them was more than enough to bait the hook.
It exploited the aristocrats' burning desire to flaunt things no one else possessed.
Left to their own devices, they would taste them, savor them, and advertise them for her, all on their own.
"Hooah, hooah."
"I want a pair too!"
"Oh! How can anything be this soft! Softer than Margarita's own flesh!"
Ha. But. Watching men nibble, suck, and nuzzle each other's legs like that is a bit unsanitary, honestly.
Scenes wholly detrimental to one's mental health were erupting all over the banquet halls of Europe.
"Then where does one acquire these?"
"I hear Daehan has just built something called a 'department store.' They say it will begin selling these there in earnest."
"My word…."
"We simply MUST go!"
Europeans began hunting down ship routes and carriages bound for Pyeong-an Naru.
For the grand opening of that place called a department store, the nobility began flooding in by the thousands.
Arms loaded to the brim with gold.
And if they ever caught sight of the other gifts Haneul had prepared in order to claim Europe for herself… they might very well never make it home.