Himiko's Diary
Hello. My name is Himiko, and today I thought I would tell you my story.
I used to live near the mountains east of Naniwa with my mother, my father, and five younger siblings.
I looked after the little ones, foraging for greens and berries around our home, while Mother and Father went out to work.
But two years ago, Father set off for somewhere far away, saying he would come back with a fortune — and he never returned.
"*Sob… sob….*"
"Mother? What's wrong?"
"Ah… I'm hungry…."
Mother did nothing but weep, and the little ones just clung to her skirts and whimpered. That was when I made up my mind. Someone had to step up, and it might as well be me. I had heard there was plenty of work to be found at Daehan's port.
It was a three-hour walk, so going alone frightened me, but Daehan had built such fine roads that as long as I stuck to the main road, I could manage.
Creeeeeak.
"I'm off, Mother."
I said goodbye to my mother, who sat staring blankly into space, not having slept all night, and left the house before dawn. If the walk took three full hours, I'd have to hurry — I figured the only way to land a job was to arrive before the sun came up.
Hoo… hoo…
I could hear an owl calling. Our house sat a little ways off the main road, so I had to cut straight through the forest! It was a little scary, but I marched on bravely. After all, I was eight whole years old!
Somehow I made it to the road without incident. From there, if I just followed it, I would reach the shopping district. That was where I would find work!
I walked hard and fast, and just barely reached the shopping district before sunrise.
"Wow…. What is this place?"
It was like another world entirely. The sun was out at night? And even at that early hour, quite a few people were already moving about. Back in our village, everyone went to sleep the moment the sun went down.
I don't see anything, but there's surely work here for me. I've always thought of myself as pretty clever. I remember what people say, and I'm quick to catch on.
So I made the rounds of the shops, looking for someone who needed an extra pair of hands.
"Phew…. This isn't easy."
I spent a long while searching, but it was no walk in the park. Nobody wanted to hire someone so young.
"Isn't there anyone I can leave the shop to? If I just had one more pair of hands…."
"Oh?"
Just then I'd sat down to rest, and my eyes met — perfectly — with a shopkeeper rising from his seat with a weary sigh. This was the place! Not big enough to afford an adult, but desperate for help!
"Sir! I work hard — really hard! Please hire me!"
"You? Aren't you a bit too young?"
"I remember everything people tell me. I'm not strong, but I'll move around twice as much to make up for it."
"Hmm…."
From the look in his eyes, I could tell he was thinking: that'll do. If the girl talks that well, she can probably do the work.
"How much would I have to pay you, I wonder…."
"Just ten won a month, please!"
"Isn't that a bit steep?"
Steep? Please. I'd already done my research. Adults, I knew, made well over sixty won. Even people who did nothing but sit and watch the shop earned that much. For hard labor, plenty of workers commanded a hundred and twenty.
"I'll be worth every won. You can always try me out and see, can't you?"
Those ten won were non-negotiable. One bundle of potato flour cost exactly a hundred and twenty won.
If Mother and all five of my siblings rationed every bite, and if I gathered anything and everything edible from the mountains, that would keep us just barely from starving.
"Well… all right. I'll take you on. Do me proud."
"Thank you, sir!"
From that day on, I worked as though the shop were my own, and I worked hard. I was especially good with faces, so I learned to set out and recommend exactly what each customer would like before they even asked. Word spread quickly that the new girl was good, and soon I was hopping from shop to shop, each one offering a won more than the last.
And now, at ten years old, I've been working at another shop for quite some time, earning fifteen won a month.
"Thank you for your hard work today, sir. I'll be going now."
"Right. Get home safe, now."
Another day's work done, another walk home. In my arms I carried half a rice ball left over from the lunch I'd been given — that would be shared out at home, too.
But after walking for a long while, something about the house felt wrong.
"Mother?"
"Where did Mother go?"
"Waaah~ Mommy~!"
The little ones' cries for Mother echoed through the entire forest.
Rattle.
"Big sister!"
"You're back!"
"What's going on, everyone?"
The moment I opened the door, the little ones — who had been crying this whole time — came tumbling out to meet me.
"Mother's been gone since this morning."
"Where do you think she went?"
Something anxious twisted in my chest, but I had to steady them first.
"Now, now, everyone! Look — I brought a rice ball home again today. Share it out nice and even. I'm going to go look for Mother."
"Okay!"
Bring out food, and their faces brightened at once. Good. Now I could go look. She couldn't have gone far. I had almost never seen Mother sleep, you see — and that was exactly what worried me.
"Mother? Where are you~?"
I combed the forest, searching for her. She couldn't have gone far.
And after a long search, I found her — beneath a tree.
Swish, swish.
"*Sob….*"
Father had gone off to war and never come back, so he must surely be dead — and now it seemed the strain had simply been too much for Mother. She had gone ahead to join him.
The tears came before I knew it. But I couldn't crumple to the ground here. I still had five little ones to look after.
Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.
With a small stick, I dug into the earth a little way, and laid Mother gently down to rest.
"Mother… your hands are so cold…."
I would never feel her warm hands again. The emptiness ached terribly.
Then I piled the earth back and gathered stones over it, so that no beast could dig her up.
"Did you find Father, Mother? You won't be hungry anymore, at least…. I'll take good care of the little ones, I promise…."
To my siblings, I would have to say that Mother had gone off to meet Father. It was a very, very sad day.
The very next day, I still had to go to work.
If I missed even one day, the shopkeeper docked me several times a day's wage for it. And Heaven only knew how far behind my wages already were. Our savings had run dry, and honestly, I was struggling too.
"Good morning."
Still — a shopgirl's face is everything. I smiled and greeted my boss as always.
"You thieving little wretch!"
"I'm sorry?"
"Get out! Out of my sight!"
"Excuse me?"
"You stole my potatoes!"
Absurd! How on earth was I supposed to lug a sack three hours home?
"It wasn't me! There must be some misunderstanding!"
"Get out!"
Shove.
"Ah!"
This was the kind of moment I cursed my skinny body. One little push, and I went tumbling out the door.
Mother was gone, and I was doing my best to live bravely besides — and now this. It felt so unfair. Anger boiled up inside me.
"Then at least pay me what I've earned so far!"
"Thieving trash! Get out!"
I catch on quickly, you see. The shopkeeper was plainly trying to frame me so he wouldn't have to pay. But I couldn't simply walk away, either. The owed wages were one thing — but if I got branded a thief, no one anywhere would ever give me work again.
I fought him with everything I had, for a long while. But I was far too weak. It was so unfair.
"*Sob… sob….*"
Only last night, as I laid Mother to rest, I had sworn I would never cry again — that I would live bravely. And now the grief came back twice over, and the tears would not stop.
Perhaps the shopkeeper knew how much I feared the word "thief" spreading, because from then on he kept me on for nothing but my meals — food and labor, no pay at all.
What could I do? I swallowed my pride. For now, it seemed I would have to work for food.
"What do you think you're doing?"
At the sound of that voice, a faint fragrance of flowers began to drift through the air. And when I turned around — there stood the most beautiful person I had ever seen.
"Wow…."
I had never seen anyone so lovely, not even in a painting. The fact that she could move and speak seemed almost strange. If there were a god of beautiful things, it had to be her.
"Me? I own this street."
From what I heard, she was someone of astonishingly high standing here. Even the shopkeeper stood frozen, not daring to move.
She laid into him for a long while, and every single word of it was right.
And then — she said she would give me a job. She even told me to bring all the children like me. Did she have any idea how many children like me there were on this street?
But when my owner gives an order, I obey. The very next day, I gathered every child I could find and brought them along.
With all the working children suddenly gone, there was a bit of an uproar in the shopping district — but so what?
My owner was the one who told us to come.
She told us to call her something casual, but how could I possibly dare?
Beautiful people really do have beautiful hearts, it seems. She said we could just wander the roadside picking up scraps of junk or whatever, and she would feed us three full meals a day.
"Bring your siblings too. All of your family. You can live here from now on."
And a dormitory, she called it? Once the building was up, she handed out rooms and told us to bring our whole families to live there. For meals, we could just go to the dining hall and eat whenever we liked.
"Whoa?"
"What is this place?"
"Let's hurry home and tell everyone!"
The children all bolted straight for home. No matter how I looked at it, the dormitory beat our ramshackle house in the middle of nowhere by a mile.
And here, water came straight out of the walls somehow? I was right — anyone that beautiful couldn't possibly be a mere human.
"If you're going to work, you have to be smart. So go study."
You know what? My owner's face gives everything away. She says it so coldly, but her cheeks have gone bright red, like she's embarrassed.
Isn't that just the most adorable, lovable thing?
"Everyone, gather round."
After the owner left, I called the children together.
"Yes!"
"Go spread the word — fetch every kid, fast!"
Hmm. I'm not strong, and I can't fight, but I'm the smartest one here. Plus, I was the very first to meet our owner. Even the children older than me all do as I say. Around here, I'm the leader.
"So, what did the owner say?"
"She needs smart people!"
"She told us to study hard!"
"And she said not to skip exercise, either!"
Good. The children had understood it all.
"That big building over there in the middle is our school, where we're going to study. They're going to teach us the ways of Daehan. Which means we really can become brilliant people, can't we?"
"Yeah!"
"That's right!"
"We'll make lots of money, too!"
By the time we're grown, this country will need plenty of clever people like us — won't it? Which means we are absolutely going to prosper.
"And if we prosper, we'll have to repay our gratitude, won't we?"
"To the owner?"
"Of course!"
These days, simply going home makes me happy. For the first time in my life, I learned what it meant to eat my fill. My siblings were filling out, and I was growing well too.
Strength was coming into my arms and legs, and somehow my chest felt all tingly. Even in the shop windows I passed, I could see my reflection growing prettier day by day.
I suspect this, too, is all thanks to our owner's grace.
"I will never forgive a traitor…."
Maybe that was a bit frightening? The little ones looked about to burst into tears.
"W-why would we ever betray the owner who's been so good to us? Right? Right?"
"N-never!"
"Not ever!"
You have to lay the foundations early. We must be the kind of children who could die for her, if she asked us to. She saved our lives — we ought to follow whatever she says.
Not that anyone is actually going to die, of course.
"Well then — shall we all go take a look at the school?"
"Yes! I'm so curious!"
"Let's go!"
"To the school!"
Children will be children, I suppose. The gloomy mood lifted in an instant. If I engrave it into their hearts, bit by bit, the way I did today, they'll come to follow the owner all on their own.
Studying at school taught us just how backward this country called Japan truly was.
"I can't believe we lived in such an ignorant country…."
"Yeah…. I'm so disappointed…."
"I want to learn even more…."
The other children felt the same. The first things Daehan taught us were science and mathematics. It turns out everything we used to think of as the work of spirits and ghosts is simply science — how fascinating is that?
And then there were the ethics lessons. We learned about a thing called shame — the decency every human being ought to carry.
We were becoming people who understood what it meant to be ashamed.
"Let's give our thanks to the owner again today."
"Yes."
When class ended and the teacher stepped out, we gathered in a circle in the classroom, took out the owner's sacred image, and offered our words of thanks.
One of the crafty-handed children had carved it, and it was a truly perfect likeness.
It looked as though she were standing right there before us, alive and breathing. It was so well made that it was frankly a little irreverent — but we decided to forgive it. Even the pedestal was beautifully done.
Our owner is said to love gold, after all. One day, I will make sure to carve one in pure gold.
And so, once again today, we give our thanks to the owner.