The Sweet Conqueror
Haneul still hadn't handed over any firearms to Nakamura's army.
"Hm? They don't wear armor?"
"No. They said it's too heavy to use around here."
Ah. I overlooked that. Come to think of it, armor could easily weigh twenty or thirty kilos — no way these kids have the strength or stamina to run around in that.
"Then just leave the armor alone. Tell them to make their own and wear whatever suits them."
The soldiers wore everything so lightly that the craftsmen rarely bothered making lightweight gear like leather armor anyway.
"We've received word that they'd like to buy a few cannons. What should we do?"
"Did the ones they copied from the Ming arrive?"
Copying other countries' weapons had apparently been a real headache. They used cast iron, and it was so brittle it cracked even while being heated — an absolute disaster.
"They won't need many. They're only buying them to smash open castle gates."
"Right. They said they couldn't produce many anyway."
"Then have them import cannons from the Ming, and we'll just sell them the gunpowder."
The unit price was cheap, and since they were consumables that became useless with the slightest mishandling, they made for a tidy little profit. Those old cannonballs gathering dust in some warehouse would sell perfectly here.
"The daimyo has returned."
"Good. Did you get the cannons?"
"Yes. But when I asked, they said Daehan no longer makes cannons like these — that they'd purchase them from the Ming for us."
"Hm?"
Something felt off. Then what, exactly, were those cannons mounted along the tall walls of that harbor?
"You mean they're different from the cannons the Daehanese use themselves?"
"Yes. That was the impression."
"Heh heh... Now that's interesting."
Daehan never surrendered its own weapons to anyone.
"What manner of weapons could they possibly be using?"
"Shall we look through the old records?"
"There probably aren't any."
It would be a history of defeats, after all. Who would bother keeping proper records of that?
"In any case — did you learn how to operate the cannons?"
"Yes. We learned by loading and firing alongside them."
"Good. Teach the soldiers as well, and hurry the battle preparations."
Having given his orders, Nakamura hurried home. He was expecting guests today for a tea gathering.
Back home in a rush, Nakamura headed straight for his room. He had to be ready before his guests arrived.
Clatter, clatter.
"Oho... every single one is different. Each piece of tea ware has its own nobility of spirit."
And so Nakamura busied himself brewing tea with the utmost care.
"As expected, it doesn't absorb a single drop of moisture."
Until now, Japan had possessed no porcelain-making technology of its own. They had been importing ceramics from the Ming — but weren't the patterns and glazes of Daehan's just so much lovelier?
"Magnificent..."
For a while, Nakamura abandoned his brewing entirely to admire the works of art before him.
Screeeeech.
"Your guests have arrived, my lord."
"Wha—!"
Thus Nakamura, who had spent the entire time doing nothing but gawking at dishes, received his guests with his preparations half finished.
"Heh heh. My apologies, everyone. I was a bit slow in getting ready."
"Haha. So even the great Nakamura has his moments, I see."
"One must, now and then. Think nothing of it."
The guests exchanged puzzled glances. Nakamura, who was ordinarily dead serious about his tea ceremonies — what on earth had come over him?
Then, settling onto their seats, they caught sight of the tea ware he had laid out.
"Good heavens."
"What is this?"
"It doesn't appear to be Ming porcelain, does it?"
"What? There's porcelain other than the Ming's?"
Certainly, a quick look around would show it in plenty of other countries — but among the nations Japan currently traded with, Ming porcelain reigned supreme.
"My... Look at the patterns, the shapes. This is unmistakably not from the Ming."
As the guests gazed upon the pieces, utterly spellbound, a contented smile spread across Nakamura's face. He could only give thanks to Haneul, who had bestowed such a gift upon him.
"Heh heh. You're all just like me, I see. This gathering will end with us staring at tea ware all day."
"Ah!"
"Oh! So that's why Master Nakamura himself—!"
"Goodness. Now I understand."
And so Nakamura at last began to prepare the tea. Mouths itched with curiosity, but the guests waited in respectful silence. That was the hallmark of these tea gatherings — quiet focus while the tea was being readied.
Sllluuurp.
"Please, drink."
"Huh? Right away?"
"Isn't the first steeping supposed to be discarded?"
"With this tea, there's no need."
The guests sensed it — this brewing followed a different order than usual.
Sluuuurp.
The sound of tea drinking spread quietly through the room.
"Ho!"
"What kind of tea is this?"
"Forgive my rudeness, but I too must ask."
At the uncharacteristic behavior of his fellow members, a smile split Nakamura's face nearly in two.
"It's called Daehan Tea, they tell me. A tea grown only in Daehan, they say."
Strictly speaking, it was a blend of any number of different leaves — but what were the odds these men would know that?
"My... The ware, and now the tea..."
"There will be no need to seek out Ming pieces any longer, will there?"
"Extraordinary."
And to crown the perfection of the ware and the tea alike, Nakamura brought out his secret weapon.
A slight waste, perhaps — but out came the confections.
"And what might this be?"
"In Daehan, I'm told they enjoy the bitterness of tea, but also like to pair it with things like this."
Wrong. It was purely Haneul's taste. When she had whined about how bitter tea was and demanded sugar, the head cook had given her a dressing-down and made these for her anyway.
Munch munch, slurp slurp.
A bite of yakgwa, a sip of tea, then more — the pattern repeated itself in silence, over and over.
"Good heavens."
"Ah!"
"My, my. To lose one's composure so completely."
Watching his guests eat and drink in a daze, Nakamura offered up yet another silent prayer of gratitude to Haneul. Today's tea gathering had been a resounding success.
"Huh? What is this — are you sure these numbers are right?"
The order volume for tea ware and confections — weren't they a bit much?
"What do you mean?"
"The dishes. And the sweets."
"Yes, it's accurate. They even paid in advance, they say. In gold, no less."
Wow. And this is without us even pricing them cheap? An advance payment, on top of that?
"Wow... What is it with bitter things? If it were the yanggwa sweets, I'd understand."
Fine if it were something delicious, but this is odd, isn't it?
"That's probably because it's Haneul-nim's palate, isn't it?"
"Huh? Getting old must be nice for you?"
That one drinks tea pretty often herself, come to think of it.
"Haneul-nim is older than you, though!"
"You look the older one to me? I'm still fresh and bouncy!"
"Hk... That's too mean..."
Why do these kids always pick a fight they can't possibly win? Moses and the others are getting weirder by the day.
"Also, there were tribes on the Eastern Continent who painted flowers and animals, weren't there?"
"Yes ma'am..."
"Excuse me? Did I hear your tongue slip out?"
"Tch."
Sigh. Right. I have to put them to work, so I'll let it slide...
"Tell them to draw flowers and animals, cuter this time. I've got a feeling about it. If we make a separate line for women, I bet it'll sell like crazy."
Even in the modern era, look how much people hunted down character cups and shirts. Here we just start with animals and go from there.
"But women rarely go out in public, don't they?"
Will women buy them? The men will buy them as gifts, surely. Courtship here means sending a letter or two and then throwing yourself at the other person — totally different from our way.
"They'll sell even more. Just you watch."
Men will go window-shopping from house to house — and every single one of them is a sale.
"Understood. I'll place the order."
"And when is the chocolate supposed to arrive?"
"The method's been passed along, but... is it really all that great?"
Hah? Dragging around a country bumpkin who doesn't even know what chocolate is... tragic.
"Just you wait! You won't be able to live without it."
"Eep!"
"Heh heh heh."
When we made contact with the Aztecs and Maya, we tucked away cacao trees for safekeeping. If Nakamura's bringing yanggwa to his tea gatherings, the women will be bringing chocolate to theirs before long.
By the way — when is it getting here?
Clatter, clatter.
"Oh my? What lovely ware is this?"
"You all know it, of course? Daehan porcelain."
"Ah! I once glimpsed a piece my father treasures. I had no idea they made such darling little tea bowls as well!"
The women's tea gatherings were far freer than the men's. Chattering away, trading gossip — that was the common thread uniting the women of East and West alike.
If you told them to drink in silence like the men did, every last one of them would get up and leave. Which was probably why the men and women never held their tea ceremonies together?
Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.
"Oh my, so you spent the night with Tanaka-san this time?"
"I did. Ohohot. It just so happened, you see."
"How I envy you. I received a letter myself, but turned him down. His handwriting was simply dreadful."
The women sipped their tea and gossiped about this and that. Who had spent the night with whom, who was how — with no secrets at all, even the bare body of Tanaka from next door was common knowledge.
Tap.
"Oh my? And what is this? Some black little thing... how peculiar. It's rather off-putting, isn't it?"
"Hohoho. Do try putting one in your mouth."
Warily, the women placed the small black morsels on their tongues.
"Gah!"
"Kyaah!"
"Th-this is—!"
Watching them all startle and gasp, Nakamura's daughter broke into a smile of quiet triumph.
"My father brought it back for me from Daehan not long ago. A! Gift!"
She made a point of stressing that it had been a gift. She seemed eager to flaunt her personal connections with Daehan.
"In our house, we no longer use Ming tea ware, you know. It's far too old-fashioned."
"Hk..."
"Sniff..."
At a gathering where the vast majority still used Ming ware, she went on and on extolling anything from Daehan. At this rate, one might as well consider the Nakamura household honorary citizens of Daehan.
Daehan's goods were excellent in quality to begin with — and amid praise like this, they were cementing their status as luxury items faster than ever.
"What IS this sweetness — this thing that melts and vanishes on the tongue!"
"Nakamura-san! Quickly!"
"Fufufut!"
She let the suspense linger for a moment.
"It's called cho-co-late! Ohohohohot!"
"Wow... It feels like I've seen a whole new world."
"How does it melt the instant it enters your mouth?"
And that, of course, was exactly why chocolate was made with cocoa butter. It melted precisely at human body temperature — solid enough to hold in your hand, yet melting the moment it touched your tongue.
The sugar they had added without the slightest restraint was a bonus on top.
Riding the tea-culture boom sweeping across Japan, Daehan's tea ware and confections began flying off the shelves in a white-hot craze.
Actually, when the chocolate first arrived...
"Guh... what IS this...?"
"Ugh? Haneul-nim? What is this revolting thing?"
So the chocolate did come — but why did it arrive as a monster?
Had the inside of the hull gotten hot? Or had someone left it out under the blazing sun? It should've been brought to the hold, at least...
"Hm..."
"Shall we throw it out?"
"Let's taste a little first."
Tap.
At the very least, I wasn't going to die — so I mustered my courage, broke off a piece, and put it in my mouth.
"Mmmm..."
Watching me dismember a space monster beside her, Moses fixed me with a look of pure disgust. That stung a little, honestly.
"Gah!"
"What is it?! Is it poison?!"
Th-this is—!
"It's dog-gone delicious!"
What is this? Why is it even tastier than what I used to eat in the modern era? What exactly is the difference here...?
"Try it with your eyes closed."
"Eeee..."
Since Moses was still hesitating, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
Tap.
"Say aaah~"
"Ugh, I refuse—"
Resisting, is she?
Chomp.
"Mmph!"
I shoved it into her mouth and clamped her jaw shut.
Chew, chew...
"Hnnnngh..."
Oh... a person is melting before my eyes. What is even happening right now?
"Moses? You okay?"
Maybe it was only fine because it was me? What if it's spoiled? It's just a lump of fat and sugar — what could possibly go bad?
"Hnnngh... Haneul-niiim... what... is this...?"
Oh? The kid's in a strange state.
"It's called chocolate."
"Ohh... Now that I have known chocolate, I fear I can never return to my former life."
Whoa? What is this? Ecstasy? That's the face, isn't it?
Rustle rustle, chomp chomp chomp.
Huh? Moses suddenly has a burst of strength — she's tearing off pieces with her bare hands and stuffing them into her mouth?
"Hey? What are you doing?"
"Mmff mmff sho sho gooff..."
This is bad. The kid's lost her mind...
"Eat too much of that and you'll regret it."
"It's fine. I could die today and pass away happy."
Uh. There are literal hearts in her eyes now? What on earth is going on?
Could it be... did I actually administer poison?
"Hey? Snap out of it? It's really not good for you in large amounts?"
"Haaaaa..."
Hm. Drastic measures will be required...
WHACK. Thump.
Sorry about this. Your head's going to ache a bit tomorrow.
First, the chocolate... oh! I'll have to hide it all in my subspace.
This was mine from the very beginning! I'm the only one who gets to eat it!
Once she comes to her senses, I'll let a little of it out to sell. Phew...